Written by Jenny Catton
We know that people are living longer than ever before and this is raising a number of questions about how society cares for an aging population. A common question is whether children should be expected to provide care for their elderly parents?
Yes – Marie
I wouldn’t dream of putting my mother in a nursing home and leaving her there to be looked after by strangers. My mum spent years raising my two brothers and me so it’s only fair that we return the love and care she showed us by looking after her in her old age.
Care homes are soulless places and no substitute for a loving family home. I have read some terrible stories in the media about elderly people being abused by staff in care homes and I couldn’t bear the thought of something like that happening to my mum. I would never be able to forgive myself if anything happened to her in one of those places.
Until my mum develops serious medical issues and I can’t give her the right level of care, I would much rather she was at home with us, safe and looked after properly. Care homes cost an absolute fortune and if mum had to spend her final few years living in a home, she would have to use all of her savings to pay the cost of care. Why should she have to use her savings to pay for a care home when we can take care of her?
In other cultures elderly relatives are always cared for by their children and I believe that we should have more respect for our elderly, which means taking care of them when they can no longer take care of themselves.
No – Tom
I love my dad, but I have a demanding job and two young children and with the best will in the world I couldn’t possibly look after dad full-time. There is no way I would expect my wife to step in either. Apart from anything else, our house just isn’t big enough and we are not willing to move to a bigger property in a different neighbourhood because our kids are settled where we are.
For us, the only option was to put dad in a care home where he can enjoy 24-hour care in a safe environment. The staff at his care home can deal with his health issues and are on call when he needs assistance.
Care homes get a bad press but it’s only the horror stories that make it into the media. The majority of care homes are lovely places with kind, friendly staff. At dad’s care home, there is always something going on with a varied programme of activities. He’s surrounded by friends and always has something to do. If he lived with us, inevitably, he’d be stuck watching TV on his own all day whilst we worked. He’d be much lonelier with us than at his care home.
We have our own lives to live and my dad wouldn’t want to be a burden. Kids shouldn’t be expected to sacrifice their freedom to take care of elderly parents; I certainly wouldn’t expect my kids to look after me when I’m old and decrepit!
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