In the workplace, it’s easy to get in your own way. With a couple of knock-backs or a few key words from your boss or a colleague, you can end up believing that you’re destined for failure, and so stop trying to succeed. However, self-sabotage doesn’t have to get in the way of your corporate wellness – or your emotional wellbeing for that matter.
The reason you self-sabotage is that you are actually trying to protect yourself rather than sabotage yourself. Like the fight or flight response, your brain is activated by fear and tries to protect you from getting hurt. While this is helpful if you are being physically threatened, when you do this for emotional protection the chances are that the fear you’re feeling is based on a false belief, and is preventing you from succeeding in the workplace. Do any of the following sound familiar?
“Failing means I’m inadequate and stupid, and everyone will know that I’m not as smart as they think I am.”
“If I succeed, I’m doing want my parents want. I don’t want to be controlled by them. I would rather resist what they want from me.”
“I deserve to start at the top and I won’t take anything less.”
“I’m too artistic too be tied down to an office. I’ll succeed creatively…even though I’ve been trying for years.”
If one of these sound a little too close to home, you need to take a look at the underlying false belief. Do you think success or failure defines your worth as a person? Do you feel like you can’t handle rejection or loss? Do you believe yourself to be basically inadequate? None of these things are true, and the power they have over you is keeping you from moving forward in your life. Maybe you keep putting off looking for the kind of job you want, and instead stay at a job you hate. Maybe you allow yourself to be used in the workplace, and work too many hours. Whatever it is, there are ways you can heal your self-sabotaging behaviour:
- Notice those self-judgements, and ask your higher self for the truth.
- Stop defining your worth by the outcomes you achieve, but rather by the effort you put in.
- Be conscious about seeing mistakes and failure as steppingstones to success. It’s okay to fail, as this shows you what you need to learn.
- Embrace painful feelings with an attitude of kindness and compassion, rather than judgement.
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