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Social media has done much to bring fans up close and personal with celebrities, placing hitherto remote stars just one remove away, on the other side of a tweet. Through these windows into souls, framed in 140 characters or under, one discovers that certain celebrities are philosophical, others are selfie-obsessed and several are given to ranting. But the celebs we like best are the funny ones. Humour in the time of bans is a fast disappearing commodity, it seems to us, and so we log on faithfully every morning to glean what laughs we can from Twitter.
So here’s a shortcut to a few good jokes, freshly brewed by Bollywood celebs on the microblogging site.
These Bollywood personalities have a take on current affairs but with an edge, and they know just how string together a humorous sentence. Actors like Shah Rukh Khan, Ranveer Singh, Rishi Kapoor and Abhishek Bachchan are well-known wits and unsurprising inclusions on this list. Others like Twinkle Khanna and Uday Chopra are products of social media, revealed by twitter as rib-ticklers.
We present to you the funniest celebrities on Twitter.
Baba Sehgal:
It shouldn’t be at all astonishing that the singer of ’90s songs titled Thanda Thanda Pani and Main Bhi Madonna should carry forward the light-heartedness to Twitter with jokes of the sort below:
crow is kauva, quarter is pauva, usha uthup sings auva auva..
? Baba Sehgal (@OnlyBabaSehgal) April 6, 2015
Often, his rhyming is such that it makes Sarabhai vs Sarabhai‘s Roshesh look like a world-class poet:
kisi kisi ka paas ghamand, ‘mere paas hai mutual fund’ COMING SOON !!!
? Baba Sehgal (@OnlyBabaSehgal) April 4, 2015
temperature is paara, fodder is chaara, bolo tara ra ra..
? Baba Sehgal (@OnlyBabaSehgal) March 29, 2015
ek paapi hee karta hai sin, whisky mein milakar peeta hai gin, kaun sa better hai, tide ya rin ?
? Baba Sehgal (@OnlyBabaSehgal) March 29, 2015
khao idli khao dosa, khao vada khao samosa, mat todo kisi ka bharosa..
? Baba Sehgal (@OnlyBabaSehgal) April 23, 2015
Try consoling a heartbroken friend Baba Sehgal-style:
break up isn’t always meant for make up, sometimes relationships end in order for you to wake up..
? Baba Sehgal (@OnlyBabaSehgal) April 28, 2015
He’s a sports enthusiast too:
argentina ka messi, brazil ka kaka, shakira boley waka waka..
? Baba Sehgal (@OnlyBabaSehgal) March 30, 2015
And philosophical to boot:
sher rehta hai cave mein, dead rehta hai grave mein, darpok mein toh looser hai lekin winner rehta hai brave mein..
? Baba Sehgal (@OnlyBabaSehgal) April 28, 2015
And his version of songs are somehow more fun:
o o jaane jaana, dhoonde tujhe deewana, sapnon mein roz aaye, T for telangana..
? Baba Sehgal (@OnlyBabaSehgal) April 27, 2015
paagal hua deewana hua, kaisi yeh dil ki lagi, o chura ke dil mera, KOREA chali..
? Baba Sehgal (@OnlyBabaSehgal) April 27, 2015
Twinkle Khanna:
Once upon a time, Twinkle was an actress. Better sense prevailed and she’s now fashioned herself into a humour columnist. Twinkle’s tweets lampoon her family and include saucy punchlines on current affairs. Her Twitter moniker, @MrsFunnyBones, tells of the star Twinkle really is:
I believe in the Easter bunny, Santa Claus , Wonder woman and the Muffler Man #HappyEaster
? Twinkle Khanna (@mrsfunnybones) April 5, 2015
Dudes its a joke and you can’t have a beef with that – because you can’t have beef at all hahahaha
? Twinkle Khanna (@mrsfunnybones) March 27, 2015
A tweet for a philosopher’s soul:
Instead of asking God for a favour,I would rather stack the odds in my favour #BabaTwinkdev
? Twinkle Khanna (@mrsfunnybones) February 27, 2015
She takes no prisoners:
Me:Saw my column?Mom:No!more imp did u buy dishes 4 ur kitchen Me:Cn i exchange u 4 HemaMalini at least I will get a free KentRO #worldwar
? Twinkle Khanna (@mrsfunnybones) February 17, 2015
Me: Call me later, I am tied up right now Sister: Are you busy or what ? Me:No I have just finished reading 50 shades of grey #BadPunsRock
? Twinkle Khanna (@mrsfunnybones) February 19, 2015
Today the baby claimed that God is in the cupboard and I explained,’Nope that’s just my Zara dress.’ #FindingGod
? Twinkle Khanna (@mrsfunnybones) March 30, 2015
What did ur husband give u on ur anniversary ? A single ticket to MSG #worstgiftever
? Twinkle Khanna (@mrsfunnybones) January 17, 2015
Son:’why is the Wifi not working?’ Me:’mansukh bhai the internet guy has been assasinated by school moms’ Son’Daad!can’t take this anymore’
? Twinkle Khanna (@mrsfunnybones) January 22, 2015
Crossing swords with her on Twitter is injurious to health, as author Chetan Bhagat discovered most recently:
u nailed it..it is YOLO..nobody offered me barsaat, or baadshah..else u know.. https://t.co/D6lFopxD4k
? Chetan Bhagat (@chetan_bhagat) April 27, 2015
And Twinkle replied:
Well if u were taller,had more hair u could have got bobbydeol’s role&if were way cooler,than Srk would be jobless:) https://t.co/LZFAgdX4PC
? Twinkle Khanna (@mrsfunnybones) April 27, 2015
And that’s how you nail it!
Uday Chopra:
Sailing in similar waters is actor Uday Chopra. The Dhoom actor had a less than successful stint on-screen but was welcomed, with open arms, by internet humorists:
Why is Blah always followed by 2 other blahs?
? Uday Chopra (@udaychopra) April 8, 2015
He also knows how and when to show the door to himself:
A knee that was surprised and said “Gee” every time it hit an ass. Would be a Gee! Knee Ass #Genius Yes I know, the door is that way…
? Uday Chopra (@udaychopra) April 4, 2015
Rishi Kapoor:
A recent admission to social media, veteran actor Rishi Kapoor is a Twitter prodigy. The actor has taken the site by storm, with almost every tweet report-worthy. Plus, he’s hilarious:
Neetu had a cataract surgery. Amazing medical science. No more progressive glasses.Eyesight great. Meri khair naheen! Thank you Dr Banaji.
? rishi kapoor (@chintskap) April 9, 2015
‘Solving Identity Crisis 101 by Rishi Kapoor’:
Uncanny resemblance?The gentleman(due respect)behind revered Subash Chandra Bose ji is exactly ME says brother Rajiv! pic.twitter.com/UVcSw6f3JK
? rishi kapoor (@chintskap) April 8, 2015
Daughter says more like an older Rowland Atkinson(Mr.Bean)
? rishi kapoor (@chintskap) April 8, 2015
So that gentleman and Mr.Bean ka ganne ka juice is Rishi Kapoor – me thinks!
? rishi kapoor (@chintskap) April 8, 2015
Surely have lost weight since then yaar. Ab itna bhi naheen maro mujhe! pic.twitter.com/HSF5VXxpnn
? rishi kapoor (@chintskap) April 6, 2015
Psst… beware! Mr Kapoor overhears conversations and shares them on Twitter:
Two women in convo: 1st-You lost weight na? 2nd- No I put on yaar! 2nd-You put on weight na? 1st- No I lost yaar! Just accept the truth na!
? rishi kapoor (@chintskap) April 23, 2015
pic.twitter.com/56RJG5iilE
? rishi kapoor (@chintskap) April 19, 2015
And when he was bombarded with tweets for his son Ranbir Kapoor, he had one succinct message for the fans:
pic.twitter.com/TcpItpQlAP
? rishi kapoor (@chintskap) April 21, 2015
Ranveer Singh:
His energy and zest for life is infectious and so is his humour. Ranveer Singh has a rep to protect as Bollywood’s most madcap star and recently made headlines for live tweeting from the operation theatre where he was undergoing shoulder surgery. Ranveer’s only competition is Ranveer himself and the actor, bent on out-crazy-ing himself, has always been a Twitter wag:
Live tweet from the operation theatre !! pic.twitter.com/jVud7qKFOL
? Ranveer Singh (@RanveerOfficial) April 4, 2015
The pants were on, I promise! #hairypits#allnaturale#4YearsOfRanveerSinghhttp://t.co/Lu804W0ZbW
? Ranveer Singh (@RanveerOfficial) December 10, 2014
Shah Rukh Khan:
Despite being anointed the Baadshah of Bollywood, SRK is more chatty than grand on Twitter, often delivering his trademark one-liners with deadly wit. The best jokes the actor shares are family oriented:
Taking so many kids for the KKR match….it’s like I am a class teacher Incharge of Nursery to Higher Secondary…
? Shah Rukh Khan (@iamsrk) April 8, 2015
Make up is not just to look pretty on screen. It helps cover the bruises. Thot as I nurse my knee…my lil one says “Papa toot gaya…”
? Shah Rukh Khan (@iamsrk) April 5, 2015
The best part about spending time with my elder son is….that I look a bit more kempt than him….& his sense of edgy humour.
? Shah Rukh Khan (@iamsrk) March 27, 2015
A day comes in every macho mans life when he has to wear pink leggings & he hopes at least his daughter approves. pic.twitter.com/ZLzI8ux7CK
? Shah Rukh Khan (@iamsrk) March 19, 2015
Salman Khan:
SRK’s fellow Khan is as stately as he is on Twitter, which is to say – not at all. Salman, who knows all about Being Human, also knows a thing or two about ‘Being Humorous’. His tweets are especially funny if you imagine them being read in the actor’s very particular style. It’s almost like you can hear him say, “Kamal Karte ho…”. There’s no political correctness and nobody is spared:
Dekh lo dubli patli sonakshi devi ko. Abb yakeen aah ya, wah! Kamaal karti ho yaar rajjo. pic.twitter.com/pUAD3tGzgs
? Salman Khan (@BeingSalmanKhan) April 14, 2015
He is given to several stream of consciousness tweets:
Thought for the day . Hmmmmmmmm ahhhhhhhhhhh , jaane do aaj kuch mat soocho .
? Salman Khan (@BeingSalmanKhan) June 29, 2014
He also poses some weird questions to his followers, which leaves them tweet-less:
Iss flying parindey k feathers gin k batao toh maanu. pic.twitter.com/0xi0pWiBgs
? Salman Khan (@BeingSalmanKhan) April 13, 2015
He has a unique way of ‘stalking’ his friends:
Come on Zinta. Me watching u Zinta. pic.twitter.com/hOMCrZZowG
? Salman Khan (@BeingSalmanKhan) April 10, 2015
Sometimes his fans troll him too:
Jst watched dolly ki dolly . Poocho kaisi lagi .
? Salman Khan (@BeingSalmanKhan) January 21, 2015
Poocha ?
? Salman Khan (@BeingSalmanKhan) January 21, 2015
Nahi ?
? Salman Khan (@BeingSalmanKhan) January 21, 2015
Arre kya yaar
? Salman Khan (@BeingSalmanKhan) January 21, 2015
And here’s when Salman nailed it:
Jst saw happy new year ka promo , its Kick ass .
? Salman Khan (@BeingSalmanKhan) August 14, 2014
Happy New Year is Kick-ass. Get it?!
Abhishek Bachchan:
Junior B’s Twitter style is relaxed and informal. We like to imagine that’s what he’s like in person as well, unencumbered by the trappings of being Bachchan. Here’s a sample:
Is it ok if we still don’t give it back? I mean…. Just asking.
? Abhishek Bachchan (@juniorbachchan) March 26, 2015
Dekh Apun ki farah behen ko bhi nandu ka ishtyle pasand hai. Chaska lag gaya #SnakesDance@TheFarahKhan#HNYpic.twitter.com/5T7nq0xDeQ
? Abhishek Bachchan (@juniorbachchan) October 28, 2014
Almost 52hrs without sleep! Eyes shutting… and the Mrs. Shows up looking like this!! Ok.. Eyes wide open now! pic.twitter.com/r8zIUTsBV0
? Abhishek Bachchan (@juniorbachchan) May 21, 2014
