Some sex tips come from sexual health experts, and some come from people who have tried them first-hand – but why settle for one or the other when you can have both? Surely it makes sense to get the best of both worlds, so we asked sexual wellness expert Susan Crain Bakos to outline two of the best sex moves to drive men wild, and then spoke to real-life couples who actually tried them.
1. Let Him Watch: According to Crain Bakos, ‘Men are erotic visualists, more intensely aroused by visual stimulation than women are. Some men say that watching a woman climax is the ultimate form of arousal for them. Many women touch themselves discreetly during intercourse to facilitate orgasm. Few realise they can use this little move with a theatrical flourish to arouse their men. Next time you’re ready to make love and he isn’t particularly interested, put on a sexy shirt and nothing else (except maybe black thigh-high stockings and a pair of heels) and assume a provocative position, with your back against the headboard, legs open and bent at the knees. Place two fingers in an inverted V straddling your clitoris.’
What He Says: ‘She looks at me while she’s doing it,’ details husband Jeff, 35. ‘She takes long, slow strokes; and I go from zero to a 90-degree erection in no time. When her hips start moving faster and her eyes get heavy, I have to have her now.’
What She Says: ‘I feel so powerful when I have that kind of immediate and intense effect on him,’ explains wife Lisa, 34. ‘The electricity we generate from eye contact would light a room. If you can’t be a shameless exhibitionist with your husband, then with whom?’
2. Stand Up Your Man: ‘Men love to be stroked, fondled and handled with authority by expert female hands,’ says Crain Bakos. ‘And they love watching a woman take manual erotic control of them. If he’s having trouble getting a firm erection, rub a small amount of oil or lubricant onto your palms and put one hand firmly around the base of his penis. Work the other hand from the base up to the head in a circular, twisting motion, as if you were following a winding staircase up his appendage. Caress the head with your palm. Then start at the bottom again. This staircase goes only one way: up.’
Crain Bakos adds, ‘If he’s sensitive around his perineum (the space between his testicles and anus), adjust the hand gripping the base of his penis so you’re free to massage the perineum with a finger or your thumb. Or pay attention to his testicles if he likes that. When he has a full and firm erection, guarantee his stamina by using this stroke: Open your hand and form a V with your thumb and index finger. Slide his penis between the V so the flat of your palm caresses the shaft, and move upward from the base to the head. Again, only move up.’
What He Says: ‘The women I knew before I met my wife held me the way a wimpy guy shakes hands,’ husband Michael, 37, recalls. ‘You don’t want that. You don’t want a crusher, either. Tessa has the perfect touch; I let her take charge. When she starts that little twisting move with her hand, I spring to life.’
What She Says: Wife Tessa, 30, notes, ‘If you really like something, you’re probably good at it. And I love knowing I can get him really aroused simply by using my hands.’
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