Your mates may have a few tips to help you bolster your sexual wellbeing, but do you really trust what they have to say? When it comes to sexual health and performance, it’s better to ask the experts. We’ve rounded up the best of the best, so you can be the best of the best in the bedroom – you’re welcome.
1. Tell Her She Looks (and Tastes) Great: According to Debra Lynne Herbenick, PhD, of Indiana University, ‘It’s been proven that women who feel confident about the appearance of their genitals are more open to different kinds of sexual activity, and are more likely to orgasm because they feel relaxed… When a man goes down on his partner, he should be enthusiastic, tell her how beautiful she is and how great she tastes. Don’t treat it like a chore.’
2. Use Your Ears: ‘The only difference between a gigolo and a regular guy is that a gigolo listens to what a woman wants in bed,’ asserts Dr. Helen Fisher, Department of Anthropology, RutgersUniversity. ‘So, ask. I would also advise that you to ask her while not in the bedroom — raise the discussion while out walking or doing some other casual yet intimate thing together.’
3. Touch Her Everywhere: Carol Cassell, PhD, former president of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, points out, ‘Sensual touching releases a powerful sex hormone called oxytocin, which increases a woman’s testosterone levels and ignites her sex drive. The seductive silky feel of oil being rubbed on skin is a turn-on for more passionate sex — for both of you.’
4. Eat Right: ‘Arginine is the basis for Viagra, so men should stick with foods high in it — such as oysters, fish, and other lean proteins,’ advises Lynn Edlen-Nezin, PhD, co-author of Great Food, Great Sex. ‘Everything that’s good for you above the waist is good for you below the waist as well: greens and beans; high protein/low-fat foods; and brightly coloured fruits and vegetables, high in antioxidants.’
5. Undress Slowly: Take Your Time Undressing: Behaviour Therapist and Consultant Andrea Kuszewski notes, ‘There is a degree of manipulation when it comes to the amount of neurotransmitter released… Looking at a nude picture will trigger a quick and strong release of dopamine and possibly oxytocin, but it fades quickly… Let her work for it a little; she’ll enjoy the prolonged neurological orgasm more.’
6. Take a Shower: ‘There’s no proven human pheromone to make you irresistible,’ warns Dr. Tristram Wyatt, Department of Zoology, University of Oxford. ‘So, until one is found, wash well — you can have too much of a good thing. (But why not leave a worn T-shirt at her house? It will keep you always in her mind.)’
7. Turn the Lights Down: Ian Kerner, PhD, FAACS, author of She Comes First: the Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman, details, ‘For women to get aroused, parts of their brains associated with stress and anxiety need to de-activate, according to neurological studies in the Netherlands. If women aren’t relaxed, they’re not going to enjoy sex. So dim the lights and share a fantasy. A Harvard study found that when you hug a woman longer than thirty seconds, it increases her oxytocin levels and anticipation of sex.’
8. Reverse Cowgirl Position: ‘Find out what position of intercourse is most stimulating to her — it’s usually woman on top, facing away, also known as the reverse cowgirl,’ comments Beverly Whipple, PhD, Professor Emerita at Rutgers University and co-author of The Science of Orgasm. ‘The angle of the penis through the anterior/front wall of the vagina stimulates the area of the G-spot.’
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