When you first start seeing someone new it is an exciting time and you may find you want to spend every minute with that person. It’s natural to want to share every free moment together and immerse yourself in your new partner’s hobbies and interests. And whilst this approach can help you create a strong foundation for your relationship, after a few months you might begin to feel that you’ve lost a little of your own identity. As time goes on, you may find you’ve given up many of your own pastimes and have lost touch with your own close friends. This can lead to resentment and depression and is not a good basis for a healthy relationship. So it’s important to maintain your own personality and identity in any relationship.
Make Time for Your Own Interests
When you’re in the heady first few months of a new relationship it’s easy to be fascinated by everything your partner is interested in. And whilst it’s great to support your partner in their own passions, this doesn’t have to mean giving up your own time to take part too. For example, if you hate football, be honest – you don’t have to spend your Saturday afternoons shivering at the side of the pitch just to please someone else.
It’s equally important to keep taking part in your own hobbies. When you start a new relationship, every minute is precious and you may be tempted to give up certain activities to create more time for your loved one. But your hobbies and interests are a large part of your own identity and it’s important that you don’t give up the things you love to make time for someone else. This is particularly important when it comes to maintaining relationships with your own friends. We all know how annoying it is to be dropped by a friend when they find a new love in their life. But friends are important and when the initial excitement of your relationship dies down, you’ll be eager to spend time with them again so be sure not to ditch them in the meantime.
Don’t feel that you have to spend every spare evening or weekend together. Spending time apart can be healthy and makes getting together more enjoyable and gives you things to talk about when you meet up again.
Don’t change to please someone else
If you’ve always had short hair and love it, don’t be tempted to grow it just because your new partner says he likes long hair. If he can’t accept you as you are, perhaps the relationship isn’t right. Equally, don’t expect someone else to change. If your new partner has personality traits you’re not too keen on, perhaps they are not the right person for you. Although they might be eager to change their behaviour to please you in the short-term, if you’re trying to turn them into someone they’re not, it’s bound to cause friction later.
For more information about healthy relationships, visit: www.thecoupleconnection.net
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