So your sex life may not need a massive overhaul, but there’s no harm in throwing something new into the bedroom every once in a while. If you want to give your sexual health and wellness a little boost – without going over the top – why not try one of our simple-yet-spicy sex tips?
1. Keep Your Pants On: When you were a teenager, the odds are that you had rules for how far you’d go – under the shirt, over the pants, etc. – and it turns out you were on to something. According to sex coach Patti Britton, PhD, ‘It can be pleasurable torture to play with each other over your underwear, teasing and stroking through the fabric. You’re building up the anticipation, so when you finally do have skin-on-skin contact, it’ll be that much more explosive and exciting.’
2. Make the Missionary More Fun: ‘Frankly, the missionary position is the position least likely to bring a woman to climax,’ says Barbara Keesling, PhD, author of Sexual Pleasure: Reaching New Heights of Sexual Arousal & Intimacy. ‘But there is a subtle adjustment you can make that can increase your chances of having an orgasm: the coital alignment technique, or CAT. Have your partner move his entire body up about two inches. Your partner’s pubic bone will rest on top of yours so that the base of his penis presses on your clitoris. This position provides continuous stimulation of your clitoris during intercourse, increasing your chances of having an orgasm.’
3. Change the Context: You may not want to sound demanding, but that shouldn’t stop you from asking for what you want during sex. Sex expert Emma Taylor, co-author of Buh Bye: The Ultimate Guide to Dumping and Getting Dumped, advises, ‘Try broaching the subject in a different setting where you can express your desires in a more relaxed way. Cuddle up to him while watching a sexy scene on TV and whisper, “I hope we’ll try that tonight.” He’ll be receptive to your feedback, no matter when you offer it.’
4. Get Wild in the Wild: Gynaecologist Suzanne Merrill-Nach, MD, details, ‘In 25 years of practice, I haven’t seen a patient with any sex-in-the-grass-related complaints.’ That said, Suzanne Merrill-Nach, MD, warns, ‘If you’re considering sex on the beach, watch out for friction burns from the sand.’ Sandor Gardos, PhD, founder of mypleasure.com, also cautions, ‘Almost every state has laws against indecent exposure, though it really depends on how flagrant it is, and it’s fairly easy to talk your way out of arrest or a summons. Use your judgment.’
5. Reach Out and Touch: Mabel Iam, author of Sex and the Perfect Lover, instructs, ‘Start massaging your partner’s hands and wrists. Then move up the arms and shoulders until you reach the chest. Next, starting from the feet and ankles, work your way up the legs and thighs until you reach the belly.’ A full-body massage helps stimulate his seven energy centres, or chakras, so he’s aroused from head to toe. Have him reciprocate, and your energies will be in tune. Not only does this help to create a sense of union; it’s also feels pretty damn good.
6. Vacation Sex: Reader Francine, a 36-year-old mother of two from New York City, recalls, ‘My husband and I had the best vacation sex recently in Hawaii. We were on the top floor of the resort, so we knew no one was above us to see or hear us. And the room had these huge floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the ocean. It felt like we were having sex outdoors, but without the nuisance of the sand going up our butts!’
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