If you’re interested in fitness trends, you’ve probably heard of CrossFit. If not, the official description goes that the exercise craze involves ‘constantly varied functional movements executed at high intensity across broad modal and time domains.’ However, according to wellness expert Eleanor Robertson, this is CrossFit speak for ‘running, jumping, and lifting things until you vomit or make it through to a higher astral plane based on the mind-cleansing properties of extreme pain.’ So is CrossFit harmful to your wellbeing?
‘Back in the day if you wanted to get fit, all you had to do was throw on some Howard-style trackie dacks and take the dog down the park to scare some children,’ Robertson asserts. ‘But since the exercise revolution of the 1970s and 1980s, we’ve seen a succession of hilarious fitness trends. These have ranged from the spiral-permed aerobics workouts that singlehandedly supported the legwarmer industry all the way through to hardcore bodybuilding, which is just one of many things that Arnie will have to answer for in the afterlife. None have been more all-encompassing and more ridiculous than Crossfit, which is famous for its extreme workouts and lax commitment to keeping participants alive.’
Robertson details, ‘One of the activities CrossFitters participate in is heavy barbell-based weightlifting, with an emphasis on lifts like the thruster. Throwing a loaded barbell over your own head is a technically demanding move that should be taught by an experienced professional, which is why it’s concerning that you can become a CrossFit coach in as little as two days. This limited instructor certification, combined with CrossFit’s super-macho culture, could go some way to explaining why one small study found an injury rate of 73.5%.’ But, then again, a lot of sports are dangerous. How is CrossFit any more dangerous than say rugby or Trampolining?
‘The captivating part of CrossFit is that the injuries and the exertion vomiting are used as a marketing tactic,’ Robertson laments. ‘The shoulder reconstruction goes with the rippling abs, like matching your shoes to your belt.’ She adds, ‘There’s a huge crossover between CrossFitters and people who follow the paleo diet, another extreme health trend which inspires excessive devotion and constant evangelising (you’re pretty much legally required to start a lifestyle and recipe blog, too). For the dedicated CrossFit family, there are even CrossFit classes for kids.’ Clearly, then, the demand for CrossFit is there, but why are people getting on board with such a brutal method of fitness?
Robertson notes, ‘CrossFit has a lot to tell us about life in late western capitalism. People with physically demanding blue-collar jobs are not CrossFit’s primary demographic, and the online subculture, at least as far as I can see, skews heavily toward post-industrial knowledge workers. Why would you pay $200 a month to throw weights around in a garage if you already do that as a day job? The exploding popularity of CrossFit and other “xtreme exercise” trends like Tough Mudder suggests a kind of atavistic revolution, where sit-down office workers can feel the thrill of an increased heart rate and a few soft tissue injuries without having to become a bricklayer.’
So are all CrossFitters hum-drum office workers looking to let off some aggressive steam, Fight Club style? ‘There are of course plenty of fit, lovely people who enjoy CrossFit, some of whom even have all their original limbs,’ Robertson admits. ‘To those people, I say: get out now! Go for a run, lift some weights, and do some pull-ups without giving your hard-earned money to a nebulous trend that manages the risk of muscle death using a decrepit-looking cartoon clown named Uncle Rhabdo.’
