How Do Your Beliefs Shape Your Child’s Sexual Development?

When it comes to developing your child’s sexual health and wellness, you need to take an approach that integrates and harmonises the body, mind, and spirit. However, while reading articles like this one is a good idea to give you a starting point, it’s critically important that you tailor whatever you read to your child’s precise needs. No two children are the same, and your child’s wellbeing, sexual or otherwise, depends on your sensitivity to their age, personality and life experience. That way, you’re equipped for much more than “the talk”, you’re able to enter a lifelong mentoring relationship with your child.

 

So how do you define sexual health and development? Firstly, let’s look at how you define sexual integrity. Do you ascribe to the “boys will be boys” or “good girls don’t” mentality? Is this embedded in your family value or culture? We all have different definitions of what is appropriate and inappropriate, but seeking the root of these definitions is vital, as it has a major impact on how you treat and teach your children. Many variables have shaped your idea of sexual integrity, such as your total experience as a male or female, where you lived, what you were taught, your sexual history, and what you caught from your friends.

 

For Rob Jackson, a father of two young children and as a therapist specialising in sexual health, ‘The single most important question for us to ask is, “How does God define sexual integrity?” As Christians, we affirm that He created us and knows how we function best. He has fashioned us to acquire numerous age-appropriate tasks throughout life, and, likewise, He also designed our sexual development to occur sequentially in an integrated physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual manner.’

 

Jackson explains, ‘I believe that our strategy toward our kids’ sexual development needs to be comprehensive.’ Jackson has created a list of questions to help you process your thoughts and questions about sexuality, including choices and circumstances:

 

• Is it biblical?


• Is it Christ-affirming?


• Is it timeless?


• Is it equally sensitive to both males and females?


• Is it service oriented?


• Is it grounded in authentic intimacy?


• Is it purposeful?


• Is it connected to one’s faith and spirituality?


• Is it inspired by direction?


• Is it visionary for future generations?

Categories: beliefs, origins, Sexual Development

Sexpert Explains India’s Attitude towards Masturbation

If you live in a secular family, masturbation is seen as a natural part of sexual health; albeit with a tendency to be associated with hormonal teenage boys. But what about those who live in a different culture or have religious beliefs; how do they see masturbation’s role in sexual wellbeing?

According to Dr Vijaysarathi Ramanathan, a Sexual Health Physician and Sexuality Therapist and the founding director/CEO of SSS Centre for Sexual Health, ‘Masturbation seems to have many, many myths attached to it. We’ve been told among other things that it can make one infertile, impotent, go blind, grow hair on the back of your palm, cause pimples, make you weak and leads to mental problems! Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that sex and particularly masturbation is such a taboo topic in India and is seen as something that’s sinful or bad.’

Dr Ramanathan comments, ‘As far as I know the ancient Indian society didn’t legislate any sexual matters other than abortion and adultery. It is also suggestive from the texts and sculptures that ancient India had a very liberal sexual attitude. In contrast, modern India has a deeply conservative attitude towards sex, perhaps due to its long British rule which passed on many chauvinist, conservative Victorian values to Indians.’

‘Another key reason might be the belief that semen is a precious and irreplaceable commodity which mustn’t be wasted,’ he adds. ‘The two key traditional beliefs that are relevant to the topic of discussion, are (1) well-preserved semen produces a male child and (2) a male child will release a man from reincarnation (birth-re-birth cycle). Traditional medicine equates semen to fertility (able to give birth) and masculinity (be able to make good love with wife and be a good and strong man in general).’

So, then, is Dr Ramanathan saying that masturbation is wrong or bad for your wellness? Quite the opposite. ‘It really is an individual choice. It is a healthy and safe sexual practice for those have adequate knowledge and know the facts. But, if someone masturbates without understanding the facts and carry guilt and fear, then it is important for them to be educated and manage the anxiety and stress first. Thus, it is not the behaviour but the feelings toward masturbation that could determine whether masturbation is healthy or a problem.’

Categories: beliefs, India, masturbation