Keep Sex Simple but Amazing with These 8 Underrated Moves

Whether you’re relatively new to the game or you’ve mastered the Kama Sutra, we have some simple sex tricks worth remembering. So much of sexual wellness advice is overrated (food in the bedroom? That will never end well) but what about the most underrated sex tips and tricks? They may sound simple, and even a little vanilla, but these tips – courtesy of sexual health expert Sarah Jordan – could lead to the best sex of your life!

 

1. Do it Quick and Dirty:Jordan asserts, ‘Who says hard and fast sex can’t be intimate and romantic? The fact that you want each other so bad you’re willing to rip clothes right off, buttons be damned, is surely a sign of your sexual devotion?! Whenever the mood takes you skip the foreplay and try loads of different positions one after the other until you reach a dizzying height. Be spontaneous, fast and dirty…the adrenaline will take you over the edge.’

 

2. Find the Hidden Erogenous Zones: According to Jordan, ‘A quick scalp massage is an easy way to send shivers down his spine (and yours). Gentle kisses to your bare collar bones, the back of your knees and gentle tickles across your toes will send electric signals across your entire body.’

 

3. Give Him an Erotic Massage: ‘A sensual massage is one way to get his blood pumping during long, slow (and very sexy) foreplay,’ says Jordan. ‘Amazingly, giving your partner a massage after sex can increase his readiness for round two and prepare you for an endless stream of orgasms.’

 

4. Snog:Jordan explains, ‘Not only does this simple passionate act bring you closer together but it can also release massive amounts of feel-good chemicals in your brain, like dopamine and serotonin. Your lips are your most sensitive erogenous zone, so make the most of them.’

 

5. Give Him an Amazing Hand Job: ‘Shake up your hand job skills (pun intended) by trying out the two handed waterfall technique on your lucky boy,’ Jordan instructs. ‘Take your right hand and lightly cup the top of his penis in your palm. Twist your palm slightly as you move your hand down, stroking from the top to the base of his penis. When you reach the bottom, release him and bring your left hand up and do the same. Make sure you are only using one hand at a time, but start to build up the pace slowly so it becomes one fluid movement. Change the firmness and pressure of your grasp and speed to bring him to the edge and back again.’

 

6. Do a Seductive Striptease: Jordan advises, ‘Don’t start wildly dancing out of your underwear, it’s time to channel Dita Von Teese instead. Slowly take off each item, maintain eye contact and either stalk out of the room before you’ve taken off your knickers (towards the bedroom) or allow him to do it…he’ll be on cloud nine before he’s even touched you.’

 

7. Hold Hands During Sex: ‘Intertwine your fingers together when you’re going at it for a massive jolt of intimacy,’ recommends Jordan. ‘The same can be said for wrapping your legs around each other and pulling his head into your chest. The closer your bodies get, the more intense the whole experience will feel.’

 

8. Touch Yourself: Jordan points out, ‘He’s not a mind reader and he’s not born with an inherent ability to pleasure you with oral sex. You might need to teach him a few of your favourite moves until he’s an expert. What better way to do this than by touching yourself? He’ll get a kick out of watching you and then pick up a few tricks, like speed, pressure and angle – especially if you grab his hand for a little “join me” action.’

Categories: hand, hand job, jordan, massage, masturbation, nbsp, simple, snog, strip tease

10 Simple Steps to Achieving the Best Orgasm Of Your Life

It’s incredible pleasurable and exciting when you reach orgasm – particularly if it happens during an intimate moment with your partner. However, sometimes that lovely moment eludes your sexual wellbeing, or you find that your orgasms aren’t as strong and intense as you would like them to be. While you may not have had to do anything in the past to improve your orgasms, if they’re not so hot and heavy now there are still things you can do to fine-tune your sexual wellness, and have the best orgasms you’ve ever had. With that in mind, we spoke to sexual health expert Ruth Olurounbi for her “Big O” tips:

 

1. Never Fake It: According to Olurounbi, ‘Sometimes women (and even men!) fake orgasms because they don’t want to hurt their partners’ feelings. Though this deception comes from a place of love, it is still deception and can be destructive. Your partner won’t learn how to truly pleasure you, and you will likely become resentful if you continually miss out on your sexual bliss.’

 

2. Ask For What You Want: ‘Instead of faking orgasm, why not be up front and let your partner know what types of positions and touches you enjoy?,’ Olurounbi says. ‘Hate missionary? Go ahead and tell him! Or, hop on top and show him what you like.’

 

3. Stay Fit: Olurounbi points out, ‘Along with keeping your communication tight, you also need to make sure that your physical health is up to par. Get plenty of exercise and eat a healthy diet. Plus, steer clear of too much wine on date night (a glass or two is fine, but any more and you might kill the sensations and pleasures of sex).’

 

4. Dress for Success: ‘If you want a great orgasm, dress the part!’ Olurounbi enthuses. ‘Leave the granny panties and old sweats in the closet where they belong. Instead dress with seduction in mind. Not only will it get your partner thinking along amorous lines, but it will also help you tap into your inner vixen all day long.’

 

5. Focus on Your Hot Spots: Olurounbi notes, ‘Only 30% of women have an orgasm from intercourse alone, so rest assured that there is nothing abnormal about your inability to reach orgasm instantly during sex. Most women need a little extra stimulation, whether it’s manual stimulation of the clitoris or oral stimulation before or after the act itself.’

 

6. Make Time for Foreplay: ‘It’s true that there will be some days when you simply won’t have time for sex,’ Olurounbi admits. ‘However, most of the time, you can always finagle a few moments to bond and be intimate. You just have to be creative: Hop in the shower for a little loving at the end of a long day, or set your alarm for 15 minutes earlier and free up time for early morning intimacy.’

 

7. Just Do It: ‘Even if you aren’t in the mood at first, sexual pleasure can sometimes pop up after a few moments of touching and foreplay,’ Olurounbi asserts. ‘Don’t say no off the bat, give your body time to wake up and respond.’

 

8. Use Sex Toys: Olurounbi explains, ‘Sex aids can bring a whole new level of enjoyment and intimacy into your bedroom, especially if you have hit a rough patch or you want to spice things up. You can use a simple clitoral vibrator during intercourse to help increase your arousal, or you can get even more intense by using a G-spot vibrator or a dildo.’

 

9. Kiss More: ‘Sounds simple, yet many couples stop kissing once in a long-term relationship,’ Olurounbi laments. ‘Get those kisses back by making it a point to kiss every day for at least ten seconds. It will bring intimacy and eroticism back to your bedroom and to your relationship.’

 

10. Masturbate: Olurounbi comments, ‘Self-stimulation is a great way to get in touch with your sexual response and inner desires. Make it a habit to fantasise and self-stimulate on a regular basis to keep your circulation flowing and your libido pumping!’

Categories: Foreplay, masturbation, nbsp, olurounbi, orgasm, reach orgasm, sexual, time

10 Ways to Create a Healthier Attitude Towards Sex

When tending to your wellbeing, your sexuality might not be the first thing you think of. However, there’s more to health than exercise or nutritional wellness; your sexual health is a great natural source of energy, and prevents many seemingly unrelated health problems. According to Pepper Schwartz, PhD, professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle and author of The Lifetime Love & Sex Quiz Book, ‘Sex doesn’t always have to be an act of love — it can be a kind of play, a celebration.’ A healthy sex life makes you feel resilient, vibrant and ready for the rush of life – no matter your age or lifestyle. So how can you have a healthier attitude towards sex?

 

1. Think Like a Man Every Now and Then: Online wellness coach Liz Brody advises, ‘Every time you see a half-decent guy on the street, in an elevator, in a Gap ad, mentally undress him and imagine how great he looks naked.’ Just think of it as sexy window shopping!

 

2. But Don’t Assume You Always Know What He’s Thinking: ‘Assume for a day — radical as this thought might be — that your partner is not as critical of your body as you are,’ Brody instructs. Mehmet Oz, MD, director of the Cardiovascular Institute at Columbia-Presbyterian Medical Centre and host of The Dr. Oz Show, explains, ‘For men there’s one goal besides eating: sex. We’re very focused. Whether or not you have an extra pound or two, whether or not a nose is crooked, these issues are not first on our minds.’

 

3. Unplug the TV for a Week: That way, instead of flopping on the sofa for the evening, you and your partner will have to think of something else to pass the time.

 

4. Split the Chores: Brody advises, ‘Try this on your partner: Tell him it’s really hard to work all day, cook, do homework with the children, straighten up, and then feel like having sex. Suggest that if he’d take the kids out for dinner or ice cream one night, you’d probably be more in the mood.’ That said, Brody also comments, ‘Pick a day of the week for you and your partner to come home from work early, and don’t use the time to do chores.’

 

5. Treat Yourself: ‘For Valentine’s Day, buy yourself a new vibrator,’ Brody recommends. Not only does this mean you can have fun during your alone time; you can pass on your self-loving techniques to your partner so that he can do things just how you like them. Alice Domar, PhD, director of the Mind/Body Centre for Women’s Health at Boston IVF and assistant professor at Harvard Medical School, adds, ‘Have a glass of wine if you need help getting in the mood.’

 

6. Get Wet: ‘Take a shower or bath with your partner,’ Brody suggests. ‘See where it leads.’

 

7. Reminisce: Brody directs, ‘Think back to your courting days. Did you neck during concerts? Talk forever in coffeehouses? Go Rollerblading? Do one of those things again together.

 

8. Prepare Your Mind: If you decide sex is on the menu in the evening, call your partner at least once during the same day and flirt. This means both of you will be raring to go once you get home.

 

9. Get Away: Brody notes, ‘Go away one weekend without the kids. If you can’t afford a hotel and a babysitter, switch houses with another couple and take turns caring for each other’s children.’

 

10. Mix Things Up: ‘Try a little change of pace, something sensual,’ says Brody. ‘Wear a different colour than you normally do, put on cashmere instead of flannel, listen to music instead of the news, burn a scented candle, get a luscious massage.’

Categories: brody, brody advises, chores, Flirting, health, healthier attitude, masturbation, nbsp, partner, time

How to Make The Most of Your Masturbation Sessions

Masturbation is an area of sexual wellness and wellbeing that is still somewhat of a taboo. It is not generally talked about and even sex advice columns often steer clear of the sensitive subject. This is really unnecessary, however, as masturbation is normal, common and healthy. It can help to relieve stress and can also help to teach you about what you enjoy, sexually, so that you can gain confidence in your body’s ability to orgasm, which can then translate to sex with a partner.

 

Here are some of the things that women enjoy whilst masturbating, which they would never talk about with their friends, but which could be fun to try out some time.

 

Some think that glass toys are the best ones to use, because they are hard and they transfer heat. You can also pop them in the fridge beforehand and enjoy the cool sensation. They also look pretty classy too, and can cause fantastic orgasms.

 

Another top tip is to use rechargeable batteries. If you enjoy sex toys during masturbation, the experience of your battery going flat on you could be quite frustrating! Many women also find that the showerhead makes a great alternative, and this one never runs out of batteries. An adjustable showerhead can cause fantastic pressure on the clitoris, and it can be combined with a waterproof dildo for a really good time in the bath.

 

Some women prefer a smaller vibrator that can actually fit inside them, and this then leaves their hands free to explore their clitoral area or anywhere else that they fancy.

 

The rampant rabbit is a bigger vibrator and is one of the most popular ones on the market. It has a clitoris tickling area on it, as well as the main bit that fits inside the vagina, meaning that the pressure is available on the inside and outside at the same time, increasing the likelihood of an orgasm.

 

Categories: area, masturbation, nbsp, Sex, time, Toys, Women

Are Your Bedroom Insecurities Damaging Your Wellness?

Often, your state of mental wellbeing is the biggest culprit for interfering with your sexual health. Whether you’re stressed, worried or feeling insecure, your brain can put a damper on sex – but how do you let go and relax?

 

According to award-winning wellness writer Hope Gillette, ‘It is possible to overcome insecurities, and the first step along that road is realising we all have them. Everyone is insecure about something; some of us just hide it better than others…You need to get a grip on your lack of confidence, however, because being insecure can do a number on your sex life…Being preoccupied and insecure with how you look can affect how much you enjoy sex. People who are insecure about their bodies, appearance, or abilities can have intense feelings of shame or shyness–emotions which are not conducive to the freedom of intimacy.’

 

Ann Kearney-Cooke, PhD, director of the Cincinnati Psychotherapy Institute, comments, ‘Women with poor body image don’t initiate sex as often, and they’re more self-conscious. Sexual intimacy involves the sharing of your innermost essence with another person, and being able to pay attention to yourself as well as to your partner.’ Insecurities can also lead to a number of health issues, as well as damaging your relationship. The stress and anxiety associated with insecurities can cause:

 

• Erectile dysfunction


• Inability to orgasm


• Vaginal dryness


• Loss of libido


• Substance abuse


• Depressed fertility

 

So how do you overcome your insecurities, and have a better sense of overall wellbeing as a result?

 

1. You’re Not Alone: Gillette advises, ‘Don’t forget: everyone has something they are insecure about.’ While this doesn’t mean it will be any easier for you to get over your insecurities, it is nice to know that you’re not in this alone. It may be helpful to talk to your partner about his or her insecurities, so you know you’re not the only one who’s worried. Gillette points out this can help you ‘overcome insecurities in bed by building real intimacy.’

 

2. Get Naked: While it may be the last thing you want to do, Gillette recommends walking around the house naked, as this can help you ‘to be comfortable in your own skin.’

 

3. Get the Right Mindset: Gillette notes, ‘Remember that people like different things; not everyone is attracted to rail-thin models or voluptuous women or muscular guys…Also remember, appearance is not as important when it comes to sexuality and pleasure. Don’t buy into this myth.’ She adds, ‘Don’t worry about the orgasm. Too much pressure is on climax; sex is about enjoyment and intimacy, and it is possible to enjoy another person without having an orgasm.’

 

4. Play Up Your Good Points: ‘Have great feet?’ asks Gillette. ‘Pamper them and buy some great nail polish. What matters is how good you feel with yourself – as you are.’

 

5. Masturbate: ‘Don’t be afraid to masturbate,’ Gillette asserts. ‘This will reassure you about feeling pleasure and can help you instruct a partner about the things that work for you.’

 

6. Ask Your Doctor: Gillette warns, ‘Don’t assume painful sex is normal. If pain is causing your insecurities you need to seek medical advice.’

 

7. Communicate: ‘Accept what you need to enjoy sex,’ says Gillette. ‘This means if you need dirty talk to enjoy yourself, ask your partner how they feel about it. Don’t wait for in-the-moment. Talking about sex as adults in a neutral atmosphere can be much less stressful than springing something on a partner during the act.’

 

8. Choose the Right Partner: Gillette recommends, ‘Wait until you trust someone fully before you have sex. This may sound like a no-brainer, but many people feel pressured to be intimate early in the relationship and don’t wait to feel comfortable with their partner. When you trust someone, you overcome insecurities easily.’

Categories: Communication, gillette, gillette recommends, insecure, insecurities, intimacy nbsp, masturbation, nbsp, overcome insecurities, partner, sexual insecurities

Myth Busters: The Truth About Masturbation

Masturbation still seems to be of a taboo topic, with many people believing that pleasuring yourself is bad for your mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing. Some myths assert that masturbating makes you crazy, turns you blind, and even worsens your sexual health, but is there any truth in these claims? Does masturbation pose a threat to your wellness, or could it actually be good for you?

 

Let’s start with the positives, shall we? According to award-winning wellness writer Hope Gillette, ‘Masturbation actually has health benefits and many experts believe not masturbating is a sign of issues. Masturbating is good and natural for both men and women. One of the best things about masturbation is that it is safe; there is no concern about sexually transmitted diseases. Masturbation is an ideal way for individuals to learn and explore their sexuality before they enter into sexual relationships. Masturbating can teach a person how they like to be touched, improving their confidence and increasing their chances of experiencing sexual pleasure with a partner.’

 

In fact, the State Government of Victoria’s Better Health Channel list several health benefits that come from masturbation, including:

 

• Increased sense of wellbeing.


• Enhanced physical and emotional bonding with your partner.


• Increased ability to have orgasms.


• Improved relationship satisfaction


• Better sleep.


• Improved body image.


• Sexual dysfunction treatment.


• Stress reduction.


• Sexual tension relief.


• Menstrual cramp relief.


• Reduced risk for incontinence.


• Prostate health.


• Male immunity.


• Resistance to yeast infections.


• Chronic back pain relief.

 

These benefits apply to both solo and mutual masturbation – just so you know – but what about the downside of self-pleasure? Is masturbating ever bad for you? ‘Historically, masturbation was seen as a sign of mental illness, and children were taught they would go blind, experience sexual dysfunction and become sexual deviants if they indulged in such an activity,’ Gillette details. ‘In some religions, people are taught that masturbation is a sin, and this can often lead to feelings of guilt or shame. Belief systems aside, there is no physical or mental reason why a person should not masturbate. Masturbation causes no physical harm to the body…aside from skin irritation if proper lubrication is overlooked.’

 

Here are a few masturbation myths that are absolutely not true:

 

1. Masturbation causes hair to grown on the palms of your hands.

 

2. Masturbation causes you to become gay.

 

3. Masturbation causes addiction.

 

4. Masturbation causes infertility.

 

5. Masturbation causes mental illness.

 

6. Masturbation causes stunted growth.

 

7. Masturbation causes sexual organs to turn color or change shape.

 

Gillette points out, ‘The only real dangers associated with masturbation are linked to mental health–but not in the way traditional thinking would have you believe. Most people who experience mental issues related to masturbation are feeling shame or guilt because of their behaviour.’ In fact, Planned Parenthood estimates that roughly half of all men and women experience feelings of guilt after masturbation, which, in turn, has a negative impact on your overall wellness.

 

Gillette admits, ‘For some people, masturbation can be the manifested symptom of a serious condition, such as obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), where the same activity must be repeated over and over again. This does not mean these individuals are addicted to sex; it is no different than if the OCD symptom was something non-sexual, like repeatedly brushing your teeth.’ She adds, ‘The average person masturbates anywhere from several times a day to never at all–the range for “normal” is very broad. Keeping that in mind, if masturbation interrupts normal daily activity, replaces sexual intercourse as a choice, or causes reclusive habits, counselling should be sought from a professional.’

Categories: Benefits, health, Health Benefits, masturbation, mental, mental illness, Myths, nbsp, nbsp gillette, sexual, sexual dysfunction

Doctor’s Orders: Why You Need to Have Great Sex More Often

There’s no denying it; we like sex. It’s good for your sexual health – not to mention your overall wellbeing – to have sex or masturbate on a regular basis, and most of us are all-too willing to oblige our wellness in this way. By having sex often, you can boost your immune system, enhance your fertility, stave off depression and even lengthen your life span. But how satisfied are you with the sex you’re having, and how can you increase that sense of satisfaction? Let’s look at how you can have more sex – and more satisfying sex.

 

1. Sex with yourself: Some people make the mistake of thinking that masturbation means you desire your partner less, but this simply isn’t true. In fact, flying solo on occasion can help you understand how your body responds to different types of touch, which is information that you can pass on to your partner, and make sex with him or her all the better for it. There’s no right or wrong way to masturbate, nor is there any rule as to how often you should or shouldn’t do it. Plus, there’s something quite sexy about having sex alone, together. Mutual masturbation can be very intimate, and give your partner new ideas about how to touch you in a way you’d like.

 

2. Feeling sexier: Your thoughts are a right nuisance in the bedroom, often getting in the way of having a good time. If you don’t like your body, you can get distracted by hiding your wobbly bits or worrying about turning off your partner, which will only make sex worse for both of you. Regular exercise can help you to shed your negative body and boost your sex life, but not just in the way you think. While exercising can help to tone your body, it also gives you better stamina and circulation, both of which translate to better sex. Good orgasms rely on blood flow to the genitals, and more stamina means you can go all night. Plus, exercise releases feel-good hormones, meaning you’ll feel better about yourself when the clothes come off. If the exercise you choose is yoga, you get extra points for improved flexibility!

 

3. Play: What comes to mind when you think about role-playing and sex games? Maybe you’d like to don a costume and try some sort of sexy secretary scenario, or maybe you want to try out a blindfold or handcuffs. Some people want something as simple as pretending to be strangers and flirting with your partner during a night out. Whatever you’re into, be as creative as you like and make sure that both of you are comfortable. The aim of role-playing is to spice up your experience and loosen your inhibitions. This is especially helpful if you have been in a monogamous relationship for a long time, as it gives you the chance to see a side of your partner you’ve never seen before.

 

4. Work on those muscles: If you want to strengthen your heart, do cardio; if you want to build your bones, do resistance training. If you want better sex, do Kegel exercises. Not only do Kegel exercises relieve urinary incontinence, but they also enhance your orgasms (and for men they may also enhance an erection). While you shouldn’t practice Kegel exercises while relieving your bladder, you’ll know you’re working the correct muscles if you can stop (or slow down) and start your urine stream. Contract these muscles and hold this for five to ten seconds, and then release them for the same amount of time. Repeat this five times. Take five minutes out of your day, two to three times a day, and practise your Kegel exercises for better, more satisfying sex.

Categories: better sex, body, exercises, kegel, Kegel Exercises, masturbation, nbsp, partner, role playing, satisfying sex

The Naked Truth: How to Feel Comfortable in Your Own Skin

There aren’t many things that affect your mental wellness more than being naked in front of someone else. You’ve got no clever clothes to distract or hide the bits you don’t like, which means another person is going to see everything. Not only does this have an impact on your emotional wellbeing, but also your sexual health. After all, how often are you going to want to get intimate with your partner if you know they’re going to see you completely naked? If you’re insecure about how you look naked, even the smallest comment can result in a psychological detonation and a devastated evening (not to mention a lot of confusion), so how do you get comfortable in (nothing but) your own skin?

 

1. Walk around naked: Before you can feel comfortable with yourself, you need to feel comfortable with yourself. Although this is easier said than done, making yourself get naked more often can help to get you started. Whenever you have the house to yourself, strip off and walk around naked. Try looking at yourself in the mirror as though you’re not looking at yourself, but someone else for the first time. If this image of nakedness was presented before you in the bedroom, would you turn it down? Of course not. When there’s a naked person willing to have sex with you, who cares if they have a bit of cellulite, one breast or testicle that’s lower than the other, or a bit of hair in an odd place? You don’t need to be Ryan Gosling or Scarlett Johansson to be sexually desirable – in real life, even they don’t look like Ryan Gosling or Scarlett Johansson! The fact is that someone wants to have sex with you, just as you are, so take pride in that and leave the lights on; confidence is sexy.

 

2. Get to know yourself better: It’s perfectly normal to masturbate, whether you’re male or female, and it also has the added bonus of teaching you what makes you feel good. Knowing thyself in the carnal sense helps you to can better guide someone who wants to please you, so get exploring!

 

3. Talk to your doctor: Sexual insecurities can sometimes stem from a medical problem, so talking to a medical health professional about it might help. If sex is painful for you, for example, someone can talk you through it, give you advice and might be able to fix it. Don’t keep schtum just because your problem is a bit weird; any health care professional has pretty much heard it all. Other problems that you should talk to your doctor about include unusual discharge or smell, or if you’re having trouble getting erect, having an orgasm or staying lubricated.

 

4. Sort out your priorities: Let’s just sort this out now; it’s a myth that all men want sex all the time, and that what all women truly desire is someone who lasts for hours. It’s common to worry about your sexual performance, whether you’re a woman who worries she takes too long to orgasm – or that you won’t be able to – or you’re a man who’s concerned that he’ll ejaculate too quickly or not get hard enough. No one’s denying that orgasms are great, but making that the only focus of a sexual experience means that you are missing out on a lot of other things, and shredding your nerves from all that pressure. Sexual mishaps happen, whether you can’t get it up, can’t orgasm or you do it all far too quickly. Maybe you’re not comfortable with the person, maybe you have other stuff going on in your mind, or maybe you’re both drunk. Regardless, there’s more to sex than those few seconds, so focus on each other.

Categories: comfortable, feel, feel comfortable, masturbation, naked, nbsp, ryan gosling, scarlett johansson, sexual, sexual insecurities

How to Give Yourself a Better Sex Life in Four Simple Steps

A good sex life is important for your emotional health, as well as all areas of your wellbeing, but as we’re British, it can be difficult to talk about sex, or get the help we need to make it better. There’s no shame in trying to better understand your needs or those of your partner, and there are plenty of simple solutions to physically and emotionally enhancing your sexual wellness.

 

1. Understand your sexual needs, and communicate them to your partner.

If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you’ll have realised just how vital communication is. This is no less true when it comes to sex, but it can be embarrassing to talk about what you want, or you may be worried about your partner’s feelings. You might assume your partner knows what you like in the bedroom, or you might not want to mention it if something doesn’t feel as good. This means you’ll have the same dreary sex life for years to come – unless you talk about it. Be honest about what works for you and what doesn’t, but do it in a way that will make you feel comfortable. This often involves using humour to ease the tension, as well as being honest and open to new ideas.

 

2. Try kegel exercises.

The pubococcygeus (PC), which controls urine flow and contracts during orgasm in both men and women, is a muscle that works like any other; strengthening exercises will improve its function. There is a link between having a toned PC muscle and more intense orgasms, and performing kegel exercises can get you there. To find this magical muscle, see if you can start and stop the flow of your urine next time you’re on the loo (the PC muscle is the one that stops the flow). Then, try to tighten and hold this muscle for a slow count of three, or mix it up and try quick kegels by tightening and relaxing the muscle as rapidly as you can. This will gradually help you to gain more control and, as a result, better orgasms.

 

3. Masturbate.

Masturbating will help you to understand your body, which is information you can pass on to your partner. Plus, as a woman, you’re more likely to have an orgasm from self-pleasuring than intercourse. Start by masturbating until you feel your breathing increase, want to go very fast and want to thrust your pelvis. At this point, don’t aim for an orgasm but instead, stop and experience things for one or two minutes. After this, use light stroking and the kegels you have learned to stimulate yourself again, and then let yourself do whatever you wish!

 

4. Let your imagination run wild.

You may not think you have any sexual fantasies but everyone is capable of them, and they are the most common form of sexual expression. According to their wealth of research, psychologists Harold Leitenberg and Kris Henning have noted the most popular sexual fantasies around, so why not consider these sexy scenarios?

 

• Your current partner: It sounds weird but this is the most common fantasy! Just thinking about sex and feeling aroused is a fantasy, so why wouldn’t you imagine what you’d get up to with your current partner – you might be able to bring that fantasy into reality!

 

• A stranger or imaginary lover: This involves a sexual partner who will do wonderful things to you without being asked and with no strings attached.

 

• Romance novel sex: A lot of women fantasise about being taken against their will – in a way of being “won over” by a strong, passionate man rather than violent abuse. The force used is just enough to get a high level of excitement.

 

• Different locations: A new place, be it in the great outdoors or at the office, gives you the excitement of being naughty.

Categories: current partner, Fantasies, Kegel Exercises, masturbation, Muscle, nbsp, partner, pc muscle, sex life, sexual, sexual fantasies

The Truth About Masturbation: What Everyone Should Know

Masturbation is an important part of sexual health. There are all kinds of strange claims made about masturbation, including that it can be damaging for your wellness and wellbeing by causing blindness, acne, insanity and even unusual hair growth!

 

Masturbation is a normal process wherein both men and women sexually arouse themselves by touching their genitals. It is usually done alone but can be done with or to a partner.

 

Masturbation is entirely normal and can help people to learn about their own bodies and their own sexuality. Women can learn, through masturbation, how to reach orgasm, and men could learn how to delay their orgasm so that they last longer in bed.

 

There is no right or wrong way to masturbate. Men usually do it by holding and rubbing their penis, whilst women tend to touch their vagina and clitoris. The clitoris is a soft bump at the front of the vagina and it is very sensitive. Most women need some form of clitoral stimulation in order to have an orgasm during either masturbation or sexual intercourse.

 

Men usually ejaculate when they orgasm; ejaculation is when semen shoots out of the penis at the moment of climax. There is usually around 5ml of semen but there can be more if a man has not ejaculated for a while.

 

Masturbation is entirely safe, and does not cause insanity, blindness, acne or excessive hair growth. There is also no risk of pregnancy when you masturbate, and no risk of catching a sexually transmitted infection, either.

 

There is a small risk of infection, however, if you use sex toys to masturbate with, and if somebody who has an STI has used the toys before you. For this reason, any object that you use to masturbate should be solely used by you and not shared with anyone else, or if you must share sex toys then put a condom over them when using them.

Categories: blindness acne, Facts, hair growth, masturbate, masturbation, nbsp, nbsp masturbation, orgasm, Sex, Sex Toys, Women

Testing Testosterone: Hormone Not Actually Key to Desire

Testosterone is often viewed through the lens of male sexual wellness; it bestows virility and is the reason why men are often in the mood, but a new sexual health study has turned our view of testosterone on its head. The research, published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behaviour, has found that testosterone actually isn’t linked to sexual desire in healthy men at all. And, if you’re a woman, the hormone may be a dampener to your relationship, causing you to experience less interest in sex with a partner. Testosterone is, however, linked to greater interest in masturbation in healthy women.

According to study researcher Sari van Anders, a behavioural neuroendocrinologist at the University of Michigan, healthy individuals are rarely studied for sexual desire and hormones, which make the findings of this research so unique. Usually, such studies are based on animal subjects or people with abnormally low or high testosterone who come into clinics for treatment. ‘People have argued that sex research focuses too much on dysfunction and pharmaceutical treatment as opposed to questions like pleasure or relationships or stress,’ van Anders says. ‘There is a whole scope of factors that go unstudied.’

Even when factors such as stress and body image are studied with regards to how they affect people’s sexual wellbeing, researchers rarely, at the same time, look at hormonal influences, and this is where van Anders differed. For her study, 196 volunteers (105 men and 91 women) were asked to fill out questionnaires on their relationships, their stress and moods, and their own feelings about their bodies and sexuality.  The participants also reported how frequently they had partnered sex and masturbated, and how frequently they had the desire to masturbate or to have sex with a partner.

van Anders comments that while you tend to think of desire as a single phenomenon, the desire to have sex may come from a different place than the desire to masturbate. ‘When you’re feeling sexual desire for a partner there might be other factors that play into that,’ she notes. ‘For example, how you felt about that partner that day, how attracted you feel to that partner, how attractive you feel to that partner, your relationship and things like that.’ The desire to masturbate, on the other hand, may be less influenced by social factors like relationship satisfaction, and more by internal reasons.

The study results revealed that women with higher testosterone reported less desire for partnered sex. van Anders surmised that partner desire relates to a need to be close and connected, whilst masturbation is simply a need for pleasure. Solitary sexual desire was higher in the higher-testosterone women, with 27 of the women involved in the study reporting they had no desire to masturbate at all – and these women had lower testosterone than the women who said they sometimes felt desire to masturbate.

When it came to gender differences – i.e. why men, on average, want sex more often than the average woman – again, testosterone was not the culprit. The only factor that did link to gender differences was masturbation. Women masturbated less often than men and correspondingly reported less desire. That said, this research does not give us a way to tell whether the desire or the masturbation comes first. However, van Anders points out that there are intriguing hints that perhaps the difference in masturbation habits could explain the desire gap. She explains, ‘The idea is that if women don’t feel comfortable with their genitals and masturbating, and if they don’t think it’s okay and refrain from doing it and don’t express their desires, after a while, the desire might change as well.’

Categories: desire, gender differences, higher testosterone, masturbation, partnered sex, Research, sexual, sexual desire, Testosterone, van anders, Women

Does Your Husband Prefer Masturbation to Having Sex?

One of the least-discussed areas of sexual health, wellness and wellbeing is masturbation. Most women know that their male partner is likely to masturbate at times, especially if they are going through a period of being unwell or tired, and this is generally accepted. It can, however, become a problem, if you start to realise that your partner seems to prefer masturbation to actually having sex with you.

 

It is actually well known in psychoanalytic and medical circles that men often prefer masturbation to intercourse as they get older. This is generally because masturbation is about getting a simple, straightforward release, rather than being about any kind of performance. Older guys often suffer from erectile dysfunction to some extent, so masturbation allows them to get the release of orgasm without the pressure of getting and maintaining a good, solid erection, and the associated risk of perceived failure and humiliation.

 

Although men can try Cialis or Viagra to help defeat their erectile dysfunction, these drugs do have risks, especially in men who have any kind of underlying health condition, such as a heart problem.

 

It’s worth bearing in mind, however, that just because your partner seems to prefer masturbation does not mean that he no longer finds you sexually attractive. It also does not mean that your partner does not want to share sexy and intimate moments with you, and masturbation does not have to be a solo endeavour either.

 

If you suspect that your partner is enjoying a little (or a lot!) more solo pleasure than he has in the past, it can’t hurt to sit down with him and have a conversation about it. Be sure to be tactful and gentle – don’t risk humiliating him or driving a wedge between you. It may be a relief to him to express his sexual feelings and needs to you. If he agrees to let you take part in his solo sessions, you can join in by either pleasuring yourself or helping to pleasure him.

Categories: Erectile, erectile dysfunction, masturbation, nbsp, partner, prefer, prefer masturbation, Sex, solo

Sexpert Explains India’s Attitude towards Masturbation

If you live in a secular family, masturbation is seen as a natural part of sexual health; albeit with a tendency to be associated with hormonal teenage boys. But what about those who live in a different culture or have religious beliefs; how do they see masturbation’s role in sexual wellbeing?

According to Dr Vijaysarathi Ramanathan, a Sexual Health Physician and Sexuality Therapist and the founding director/CEO of SSS Centre for Sexual Health, ‘Masturbation seems to have many, many myths attached to it. We’ve been told among other things that it can make one infertile, impotent, go blind, grow hair on the back of your palm, cause pimples, make you weak and leads to mental problems! Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that sex and particularly masturbation is such a taboo topic in India and is seen as something that’s sinful or bad.’

Dr Ramanathan comments, ‘As far as I know the ancient Indian society didn’t legislate any sexual matters other than abortion and adultery. It is also suggestive from the texts and sculptures that ancient India had a very liberal sexual attitude. In contrast, modern India has a deeply conservative attitude towards sex, perhaps due to its long British rule which passed on many chauvinist, conservative Victorian values to Indians.’

‘Another key reason might be the belief that semen is a precious and irreplaceable commodity which mustn’t be wasted,’ he adds. ‘The two key traditional beliefs that are relevant to the topic of discussion, are (1) well-preserved semen produces a male child and (2) a male child will release a man from reincarnation (birth-re-birth cycle). Traditional medicine equates semen to fertility (able to give birth) and masculinity (be able to make good love with wife and be a good and strong man in general).’

So, then, is Dr Ramanathan saying that masturbation is wrong or bad for your wellness? Quite the opposite. ‘It really is an individual choice. It is a healthy and safe sexual practice for those have adequate knowledge and know the facts. But, if someone masturbates without understanding the facts and carry guilt and fear, then it is important for them to be educated and manage the anxiety and stress first. Thus, it is not the behaviour but the feelings toward masturbation that could determine whether masturbation is healthy or a problem.’

Categories: beliefs, India, masturbation

Ready to Romp? How to Have Great Sex with a New Partner

According to new research published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, your first time having sex may set the tone for the rest of your sexual life. When the researchers interviewed 331 men and women about losing their virginity and their current sex lives, those who had a positive first-time experience has better sexual health, in terms of emotional and physical satisfaction, later on in life. But does this mean your sexual wellbeing is forever determined by your first awkward fumble?

‘First-time sex for anybody can go wrong,’ explains Gloria Brame, PhD, a sex therapist and the author of Come Hither: A Commonsense Guide to Kinky Sex. However, there are steps you can take to make sure your first time with a new partner won’t be a disaster. For example, if you’re concerned you may not last long enough, Brame notes ‘masturbating before the date can help take the edge off.’ This helps to stop your body from becoming overly excited and raging with hormones, and instead puts you in control.

Brame also advises taking your time; even though you may be ready to romp after a few minutes of foreplay, she may not be there yet. Before you go for a home-run, stop at all the bases. Brame recommends beginning with kissing her mouth, then kissing down her neckline, past her breasts, and down her stomach to her inner thighs – exploring her breasts with your hands in the meantime. ‘Take time to focus on her nipples with your fingers and tongue,’ she says. ‘Don’t just assume she wants you to thrust inside her.’ Good sex is all about communication, so pause to ask her what she wants you to do next.

Finally, if you’ve had previous partners, that doesn’t mean that the same moves and techniques will work the same way. Brame notes, ‘Every new person requires new exploration,’ and will have different preferences when it comes to technique, speed, and foreplay, among many other factors. Also, she won’t exactly be thrilled if sex with her is exactly the same for you as it was with your ex. Again, remember to communicate and take it slow – you may develop some new moves that put those tired old techniques to shame.

Categories: Communication, First time, masturbation

Masturbation: How Does it Impact your Health?

There are many myths surrounding the facts of masturbation, such as it leading to infertility, impotence and even blindness. In order to understand any risks attached to this sexual act, it’s important to first know more about what masturbation involves and the effect it has on your body – whether harmful or helpful. Masturbating is a healthy process, which is perfectly natural and doesn’t need to have shame or anxiety surrounding it. Here are some of the facts around this issue.

 

Semen is one of the most common misunderstandings when it comes to masturbation – many people don’t know the facts about it, which leads to irrational beliefs. Semen contains proteolytic enzymes, citric acid and lipids, as well as acid phosphatase – these ingredients allow the sperm to travel on its journey throughout the female body. There are myths surrounding semen, such as that men lose testosterone through ejaculating and that semen in itself creates a child. These are not true, as there is no testosterone in semen.

 

There are no health problems associated with masturbating. In fact, the only issues one may feel are those which are psychological – fear and guilt are often linked to this act, as are feelings of nervousness, worry and stress. Masturbating doesn’t affect your sexual ability or cause any health concerns, though. It’s an individual choice if you masturbate or not – doing it or abstaining won’t affect you in any way. You may even notice benefits to this act! It is the safest way to control your sexual urges, as there is no risk of unplanned pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease, as well as it helping you to learn about your own body and your sexual likes and dislikes. However, it is important to note that masturbating compulsively may be a sign of a problem. If it is affecting your work or social life, or other aspects of your life, then you may want to seek medical advice in case you have a compulsive disorder. Your GP will be able to offer advice on this if you are concerned.

Masturbation: How Does it Impact your Health?

Categories: anxiety, body, masturbating, masturbation, myths surrounding, Semen, sexual, Sexual Wellness