Climax Clues: How to Tell If Your Partner is Faking It

 

If you’ve ever seen When Harry Met Sally, you’ll know how easy it is for a woman to fake an orgasm – but did you know that it’s a tactic women take on a regular basis? In fact, 64% of women have pretended their sexual wellness was better than it was, and actually faked an orgasm. When you rock your partner’s world, it can be a major boost to your sense of sexual health and wellbeing, but, statistically speaking, it’s likely that you’re not rocking it as hard as you think you are. All the screaming, thrashing and “Oh, gods” could have all been an attempt just to get it over with quickly, so how do you know if you’ve ever even given her an orgasm?

 

There are actual signs of an orgasm that your partner simply cannot fake, all you need to be able to do is spot them. A real man can tell if a woman is faking it, and he won’t be satisfied until his partner is too. Therefore, it’s well worth knowing the biological signs of the female orgasms. However, before we continue, it’s worth noting that if you’re not seeing these telltale signs, it’s likely that you’ve got as much explaining to do as she does. Chances are that your partner is faking it so that she doesn’t hurt your feelings, so if the signs below aren’t live and kicking in the bedroom, it might be time for a frank discussion about how you can really please her for a change.

 

1. Her Walls Contract: Just as your little friend gets stiff when he’s aroused, the walls of your partner’s vagina will begin to tighten when she’s really feeling it. You’ll be able to tell if your finger or something else is in there. If the walls noticeably contract for a few seconds before relaxing again, it means the moment is right for you to really bring her all the way.

 

2. Her Eyes Change: While the missionary position may seem a little tired, it does have one unique advantage; eye contact. When you’re right up in each other’s faces being all romantic, you can take a look at her eyes as she experiences the fiery peak of the heat of the moment. While it’s possible that you might not have the presence of mind to focus on this detail, you can tell if she’s having a real orgasm because her eyes will become unfocused momentarily.

 

3. Her Skin Changes: After an orgasm, most women experience a “sex flush” on their skin. No, that’s not some term used in strip poker; it means that your partner’s skin reddens slightly due to her amped-up blood flow. After you collapse onto the bed next to her, take a look at her skin. If it’s still as exquisitely pale as ever, the odds are that you weren’t doing it for her the way she was doing it for you.

 

4. Her Breathing Changes: Slow and steady may be the way to beat a hare, but a steady breathing rate is a sure-fire sign that she’s not winning that race any time soon. If you’re really pleasing your partner, her breathing will become spastic and short in the last few moments of lead-up. Otherwise, she might be having a pleasant time – but that’s it.

 

5. Her Body Gets Tense: You may be thinking that sex is meant to relax you all over, rather than tense you up, but this is actually a very good thing. Temporarily, your partner’s body will get tense and, rest assured, this tension is no bad thing. If your partner is having an orgasm, her muscles will be contracting, which means her body will temporarily turn rigid as the pleasure courses through her.

Categories: eye changes, faking orgasm, nbsp, orgasm, partner, signs, skin, skin changes

Mutual Orgasms: Do You Climax at the Same Time?

Having an orgasm at the same time as your partner can be an amazing experience, but some women feel bad that they can’t achieve it every time. Is mutual climaxing key to sexual wellness? Or is there more to sex than that? We spoke to sexual health columnist Candy Kane for her answers on the elusive dual orgasm. The key things to remember are lubrication, focus, foreplay, communication and taking note of any health problems you might have. If you sort out these things, you’ll be having more mutual satisfaction in no time. It’s not going to be perfect every time, but you can take these steps to try to make it so.

 

1. What Gets in the Way of Mutual Climaxing? ‘A number of factors can affect how sex goes,’ says Kane. ‘Maybe you or your partner are too stressed because of a busy schedule. The brain plays a role during sex, as well as the genitals. It registers the sensations and interprets them for you. If you’re lying there thinking about a homework assignment, you will lose the mood and you might not get it back until you let go and ignore it. You have time to do your homework later. During sex, think about sex. Focus on your body, your partner’s body, the way he or she feels. Change positions if you need to. It can bring you back to thinking about the act, and some positions are better for stimulation, anyway.’

 

2. What Role Does Foreplay Play in Mutual Climaxing? According to Kane, ‘If you are a female and you wonder why you don’t orgasm all the time, perhaps it’s because you’re not being properly primed during foreplay. An article on Cosmopolitan.com quoted a sexologist who stated, “Most women need about 20 minutes of arousal time to reach the ‘orgasmic platform.’” Ask your partner if he or she will spend 20 minutes on just you. They’re most likely going to enjoy themselves, as well, if they can have their way with you (with consent, of course!). My boyfriend certainly enjoys getting to tease me.’

 

3. What Do You Do When Your Lack of Orgasm Gets Frustrating (In More Ways than One)? ‘Always be aware of the other factors like stress, proper lubrication and the position before you get frustrated and place blame,’ Kane advises. ‘But remember, it’s nobody’s fault if one or both of you can’t orgasm. Be sensitive to the man in the partnership, as well. Men might be subconsciously worrying about their performance. Tell them when they’re doing something for you. Communication is key during sex. It’s not a silent act where one position always makes something happen. This is real life, not the movies. Everybody is different. You have to experiment and find out what works for you, and it could be different in every relationship you have. Just don’t worry about being perfect the first time or every time. Everyone should be comfortable telling their partner what’s going on for them and you can work out how to help it from there. Don’t get mad at your partner or yourself. Try again.’

 

4. Could a Health Problem Be at Play? ‘Some other things that could be affecting your performance are health problems,’ says Kane. ‘If you have a cold, if you have an orgasmic disorder or if you take birth control pills or other medicine that affects sexual stimulation, see a doctor or do some research. There are some reliable sources online that can give you a general idea of your problem so you know what to ask your doctor about.’

Categories: Foreplay, health conditions, health problems, kane, mutual, mutual climaxing, mutual orgasm, orgasm, partner, time

10 Simple Steps to Achieving the Best Orgasm Of Your Life

It’s incredible pleasurable and exciting when you reach orgasm – particularly if it happens during an intimate moment with your partner. However, sometimes that lovely moment eludes your sexual wellbeing, or you find that your orgasms aren’t as strong and intense as you would like them to be. While you may not have had to do anything in the past to improve your orgasms, if they’re not so hot and heavy now there are still things you can do to fine-tune your sexual wellness, and have the best orgasms you’ve ever had. With that in mind, we spoke to sexual health expert Ruth Olurounbi for her “Big O” tips:

 

1. Never Fake It: According to Olurounbi, ‘Sometimes women (and even men!) fake orgasms because they don’t want to hurt their partners’ feelings. Though this deception comes from a place of love, it is still deception and can be destructive. Your partner won’t learn how to truly pleasure you, and you will likely become resentful if you continually miss out on your sexual bliss.’

 

2. Ask For What You Want: ‘Instead of faking orgasm, why not be up front and let your partner know what types of positions and touches you enjoy?,’ Olurounbi says. ‘Hate missionary? Go ahead and tell him! Or, hop on top and show him what you like.’

 

3. Stay Fit: Olurounbi points out, ‘Along with keeping your communication tight, you also need to make sure that your physical health is up to par. Get plenty of exercise and eat a healthy diet. Plus, steer clear of too much wine on date night (a glass or two is fine, but any more and you might kill the sensations and pleasures of sex).’

 

4. Dress for Success: ‘If you want a great orgasm, dress the part!’ Olurounbi enthuses. ‘Leave the granny panties and old sweats in the closet where they belong. Instead dress with seduction in mind. Not only will it get your partner thinking along amorous lines, but it will also help you tap into your inner vixen all day long.’

 

5. Focus on Your Hot Spots: Olurounbi notes, ‘Only 30% of women have an orgasm from intercourse alone, so rest assured that there is nothing abnormal about your inability to reach orgasm instantly during sex. Most women need a little extra stimulation, whether it’s manual stimulation of the clitoris or oral stimulation before or after the act itself.’

 

6. Make Time for Foreplay: ‘It’s true that there will be some days when you simply won’t have time for sex,’ Olurounbi admits. ‘However, most of the time, you can always finagle a few moments to bond and be intimate. You just have to be creative: Hop in the shower for a little loving at the end of a long day, or set your alarm for 15 minutes earlier and free up time for early morning intimacy.’

 

7. Just Do It: ‘Even if you aren’t in the mood at first, sexual pleasure can sometimes pop up after a few moments of touching and foreplay,’ Olurounbi asserts. ‘Don’t say no off the bat, give your body time to wake up and respond.’

 

8. Use Sex Toys: Olurounbi explains, ‘Sex aids can bring a whole new level of enjoyment and intimacy into your bedroom, especially if you have hit a rough patch or you want to spice things up. You can use a simple clitoral vibrator during intercourse to help increase your arousal, or you can get even more intense by using a G-spot vibrator or a dildo.’

 

9. Kiss More: ‘Sounds simple, yet many couples stop kissing once in a long-term relationship,’ Olurounbi laments. ‘Get those kisses back by making it a point to kiss every day for at least ten seconds. It will bring intimacy and eroticism back to your bedroom and to your relationship.’

 

10. Masturbate: Olurounbi comments, ‘Self-stimulation is a great way to get in touch with your sexual response and inner desires. Make it a habit to fantasise and self-stimulate on a regular basis to keep your circulation flowing and your libido pumping!’

Categories: Foreplay, masturbation, nbsp, olurounbi, orgasm, reach orgasm, sexual, time

The Ins and Outs: How Well Do You Know Your Vagina?

How acquainted are you with your vagina? When it comes to sexual health, guys get an easier time of it – their junk is hanging out there, just waiting to be experienced. However, as a woman, most of your parts are internal, so you can’t exactly see what we’re working with. Nonetheless, the more you take control of your vaginal wellness, the better it will be for your sexual wellbeing. According to wellness writer Theresa O’Rourke, Editorial Director at Victoria’s Secret, in a ‘study published in the International Journal of Sexual Health, scientists found that women who had a positive view of their genitals were more comfortable in their skin, more apt to orgasm, and more likely to experiment in bed.’ So maybe it’s time that you got to know your vagina…

 

1. The Ins and Outs: O’Rourke explains, ‘If you’re standing naked in front of a full-length mirror, you’re actually seeing your vulva, the exterior portion of your privates, which was covered in hair before your aesthetician went hog wild with the wax and muslin. Think of your privates as an award-winning cast: You have your supporting actors (the vulva) and your marquee stars (the clitoris and G-spot). Every part is there to entertain your sexual needs, but to milk the best performance out of each one, you have to show them all a little love and attention.’ Debby Herbenick, PhD, a research scientist at Indiana University and the author of Because It Feels Good, notes, ‘Rubbing the pubic mound and outer lips readies the clitoris for stimulation.’

 

2. The Pleasure Centre:  Herbenick points out, ‘We see only the head of the clitoris.’ This pleasure centre actually has the shape of a wishbone, with two legs that reach three inches into your vagina, just under the pubic mound and straight into G-spot territory. Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First, asserts that this makes the clitoris ‘the powerhouse of the orgasm. It connects with every single structure in the genitals.’ In order to tap into that powerhouse, Herbenick recommends woman-on-top and a twist on missionary called the coital alignment technique, as this ‘creates more friction against the clitoris.’ However, Diana Hoppe, MD, author of Healthy Sex Drive, Healthy You, warns that as you head toward climax, ‘the clitoris swells in size, which can make friction painful.’ If this occurs, try lightening up the stimulation a bit, and it should feel good again.

 

3. What Lies Beneath: O’Rourke details, ‘The G-spot is a spongy area about the size of a nickel, and it’s located an inch or two into the anterior wall of the vagina, just under the pubic mound—and you’ve got to feel it to believe it. It has bumpy, knotty striations similar to a walnut, and it demands a hands-on, tough-love approach…G-spot stimulation also calls for a tag-team approach. You can hit it by having your guy enter you from behind, but the best bet is to have him go down on you with his tongue and fingers.’ Kerner comments, ‘The G-spot’s nerves are contained in fattier tissue, so you have to provide deeper, firmer pressure to stimulate it…With his mouth on your clitoris, have him use his fingers in a come-hither motion to apply firm, rhythmic pressure to the G-spot.’ If you’re worried you haven’t had a G-spot orgasm, don’t stress about it. Kerner points out, ‘Many women wouldn’t isolate it and say, “Wow, I just had a G-spot orgasm.” It’s more like, “I just had an orgasm, and what he was doing felt really good.” That’s why most vibrators come with a clitoral stimulator and a G-spot stimulator. They work in tandem to create what’s commonly referred to as a blended orgasm.’

Categories: clitoris, G Spot, orgasm, pleasure centre, pubic mound, sexual, sexual health, spot, spot orgasm, vagina

Why Do Men Love Watching Women Have Orgasms?

One of the hottest sexual experiences for a man is watching a woman have an orgasm. It may be a common misconception that for men it’s all about their own end game, but their confidence, and sexual wellness and wellbeing is actually deeply rooted in whether their partner has a good time.

 

A new study has proved that men really enjoy it when their partner has an orgasm. There are many reasons for this. One is that men like the feeling of a job well done, and get a strong sense of achievement when their partner has an orgasm. In the same way that men like the accomplishment of receiving a promotion at work or winning a game, they crave that sense of achievement between the sheets too.

 

Men also finds that orgasms bring themselves and their partners closer after sex. When you have an orgasm (male or female), your brain is flooded with a hormone called oxytocin, which makes you feel bonded and connected with your partner. When both partners experience an orgasm, it can help them to feel closer together.

 

Men also find it very sexy to watch women have an orgasm. Mostly, when they have an orgasm, women lose control a little bit – arching their back or biting their lip or flushing. Men enjoy seeing women enjoy themselves like this, and find it a big turn on. The ‘sex flush’ where a woman’s chest turns pink due to the flood flow is also very sexy to a man.

 

One of the sweeter reasons that men like women to have orgasms is that they want them to be happy. Cheaper than giving jewellery, giving an orgasm feels pleasurable for a man as he is helping a woman that he cares about (perhaps even loves) to feel happy and satisfied.

 

Categories: feel, men, nbsp, nbsp men, orgasm, partner, Women

The Four Female Orgasms: Which One Will You Try Having Next?

You know that women can have orgasms, but did you know that you can have different ones? According to a recent study published in the journal NeuroQuantology, there are four distinct types of female orgasm; clitoral, vaginal, blended, or multiple – so which one will you try having tonight?

 

1. Clitoral Orgasm: Sari Cooper, a certified sex therapist in New York City and a columnist for Psychology Today, points out that if your partner touches, caresses, or massages other parts of your genitals before heading for the clitoris, you’ll have a more pleasurable orgasm than if he homes straight in on that hot spot. Copper advises, ‘Have him make big circles with his fingers that include the shaft, labia, and upper part of the clitoral hood.’ To increase your chances of having a clitoral orgasm, sexual health and wellness expert Faye Brennan recommends, ‘Try having him use a fingertip vibrator like the Hello Touch Wearable Fingertip Vibrator ($65, jimmyjane.com). The more vocal you are about the speed, intensity, and pressure you prefer, the better the end result will be.’

 

2. Vaginal Orgasm: Brennan notes, ‘Though there is still some debate as to whether the G-spot exists, 30% of women claim they can have a big O from having the famous erogenous zone stimulated through penetration alone. First, locate the hot zone. On a solo night, explore the front wall of your vagina with your finger until you feel an area that’s rippled and spongy in texture. Touching it directly should feel pretty darn good. Then, during intercourse, have your man target his thrusting there. Try lying on your sides while facing each other, with your legs intertwined comfortably—think of two pairs of crisscrossed scissors. Keep your parts aligned and make sure his rubs against the front wall of your vagina.’ Michael Alvear, author of Not Tonight Dear, I Feel Fat, adds that changing positions after 15 minutes or so ‘reduces the chance of your man “closing the deal” too soon and helps your body experience new and fresh sensations.’

 

3. Blended Orgasm: By combining the clitoral and vaginal orgasm, ‘You’re getting the best of both worlds,’ says Cynthia Lief Ruberg, a certified sex therapist in Columbus, Ohio. ‘A blended orgasm is easier if the woman becomes very aroused before she has intercourse.’ So make sure you go full-throttle with the foreplay. When it comes to intercourse, Brennan comments, ‘The girl-on-top position is popular for a reason—it’s perfect for the double-whammy finish. But you can also try sitting on your partner’s lap facing away from him (he can stimulate your clitoris while you control the thrusting). Or, for a twist on missionary, have your guy inch his body up so your hips are aligned, and tilt your pelvis upward so that the base of his penis is on your clitoris but the rest of him is inside you.’

 

4. Multiple Orgasms: ‘Multiple orgasms happen one right after the next, not at different times in one session (although those are great too),’ Brennan explains. ‘Starting in foreplay, have your guy get you to your first clitoral climax using his hands or mouth (or a vibrator). Immediately afterward, he should continue to stimulate your C-spot in a slower manner for about 30 seconds, and then resume a normal pace to get you to a repeat performance.’ Amy Levine, a sex coach in New York City and founder of IgniteYourPleasure.com, notes, ‘He’s playing with your level of arousal from a heightened orgasmic state by giving your erogenous area a rest, as it may be overly sensitive to stimulation, and then increasing arousal again.’

Categories: blended orgasm, certified sex, clitoral orgasm, clitoral orgasms, female orgasm, fingertip vibrator, multiple orgasms, orgasm, sex therapist, vaginal orgasm, york city

The Ins and Outs: How Well Do You Know Your Vagina?

How acquainted are you with your vagina? When it comes to sexual health, guys get an easier time of it – their junk is hanging out there, just waiting to be experienced. However, as a woman, most of your parts are internal, so you can’t exactly see what we’re working with. Nonetheless, the more you take control of your vaginal wellness, the better it will be for your sexual wellbeing. According to wellness writer Theresa O’Rourke, Editorial Director at Victoria’s Secret, in a ‘study published in the International Journal of Sexual Health, scientists found that women who had a positive view of their genitals were more comfortable in their skin, more apt to orgasm, and more likely to experiment in bed.’ So maybe it’s time that you got to know your vagina…

 

1. The Ins and Outs: O’Rourke explains, ‘If you’re standing naked in front of a full-length mirror, you’re actually seeing your vulva, the exterior portion of your privates, which was covered in hair before your aesthetician went hog wild with the wax and muslin. Think of your privates as an award-winning cast: You have your supporting actors (the vulva) and your marquee stars (the clitoris and G-spot). Every part is there to entertain your sexual needs, but to milk the best performance out of each one, you have to show them all a little love and attention.’ Debby Herbenick, PhD, a research scientist at Indiana University and the author of Because It Feels Good, notes, ‘Rubbing the pubic mound and outer lips readies the clitoris for stimulation.’

 

2. The Pleasure Centre:  Herbenick points out, ‘We see only the head of the clitoris.’ This pleasure centre actually has the shape of a wishbone, with two legs that reach three inches into your vagina, just under the pubic mound and straight into G-spot territory. Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First, asserts that this makes the clitoris ‘the powerhouse of the orgasm. It connects with every single structure in the genitals.’ In order to tap into that powerhouse, Herbenick recommends woman-on-top and a twist on missionary called the coital alignment technique, as this ‘creates more friction against the clitoris.’ However, Diana Hoppe, MD, author of Healthy Sex Drive, Healthy You, warns that as you head toward climax, ‘the clitoris swells in size, which can make friction painful.’ If this occurs, try lightening up the stimulation a bit, and it should feel good again.

 

3. What Lies Beneath: O’Rourke details, ‘The G-spot is a spongy area about the size of a nickel, and it’s located an inch or two into the anterior wall of the vagina, just under the pubic mound—and you’ve got to feel it to believe it. It has bumpy, knotty striations similar to a walnut, and it demands a hands-on, tough-love approach…G-spot stimulation also calls for a tag-team approach. You can hit it by having your guy enter you from behind, but the best bet is to have him go down on you with his tongue and fingers.’ Kerner comments, ‘The G-spot’s nerves are contained in fattier tissue, so you have to provide deeper, firmer pressure to stimulate it…With his mouth on your clitoris, have him use his fingers in a come-hither motion to apply firm, rhythmic pressure to the G-spot.’ If you’re worried you haven’t had a G-spot orgasm, don’t stress about it. Kerner points out, ‘Many women wouldn’t isolate it and say, “Wow, I just had a G-spot orgasm.” It’s more like, “I just had an orgasm, and what he was doing felt really good.” That’s why most vibrators come with a clitoral stimulator and a G-spot stimulator. They work in tandem to create what’s commonly referred to as a blended orgasm.’

Categories: clitoris, G Spot, orgasm, pleasure centre, pubic mound, sexual, sexual health, spot, spot orgasm, vagina

As Easy As Breathing: 3 Kundalini Techniques for Better Sex

There are many ways in which fitness improves your sexual health, but is there such a thing as sexual fitness? According to wellness expert Susan Crain Bakos, author of The Daily Sex Bible: Inspirations and Techniques for the Best Year of Sex Ever, ‘You, too, can become a sex goddess. I’m perfectly serious: By investing a little time, less effort and no money, you can become a powerful erotic force, a woman capable of reducing your partner to a state of gasping, spent gratitude. All you have to do is become sexually fit – and I swear you won’t have to set foot in a gym.’ However, before you start imagining all sorts of weird, kinky exercises, fear not; achieving your sexual fitness and wellbeing is as easy as breathing.

 

Crain Bakos notes, ‘Like Kegels, breathing exercises are easy to learn and practice, and require only a few minutes…You don’t have to do breathing exercises every day or every time you make love. Some women use them only when they’re having trouble focusing on lovemaking or sustaining arousal during sex.’ The following breathing exercises have been adapted from Kundalini yoga, often described as sexual yoga because the exercises target your pelvic and genital areas.

 

1. The Breath of Fire: Crain Bakos advises, ‘Use this before or during lovemaking to get you in the mood or increase arousal, especially if you’re having trouble reaching orgasm. There’s no simpler way to oxygenate the blood, a process that increases sexual energy and elevates desire. Take rapid, rhythmic and shallow breaths through the nose. Keep your mouth closed. Breathe this way for one to three minutes.’

 

2. Fire Breathing: Although this has a similar name to the first breathing exercise, it involves a very different technique. Before you incorporate it into lovemaking, you should practice the fire breathing exercise alone. Crain Bakos instructs, ‘Lie on your back, knees bent, feet spaced well apart. Start by taking deep breaths: Pull each breath into your body so deeply that you feel your diaphragm expanding. Imagine this huge intake of air going all the way down into your genitals. When you exhale, pull that air all the way up from your genitals and out of your body. After a dozen or so deep breaths, pant by breathing rapidly from your belly with your mouth open. Do this 10 or 20 times, then breathe deeply, inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth. Make the breathing a continuous circular motion. Imagine a circle of fire, beginning as a small circle, composed at first only of nose and mouth, then expanding to include chest, belly and finally genitals. Feel the erotic heat moving in a circle throughout your body as you breathe. And feel your arousal growing with every breath.’

 

3. The Fire-Breathing Orgasm: Crain Bakos directs, ‘While you’re making love, flex your PC muscles in the same pattern as you perform your Fire Breath, squeezing as you inhale and releasing as you exhale. Start by flexing with the panting, then deep breathing and finally Fire Breathing. This may sound a little complicated, but it really isn’t; Fire Breathing becomes a reflex action after you’ve practiced it a half dozen times. Your orgasm will be stunning in its intensity.’

 

Hot stuff (pun intended) but does it work? Reader Jill, 34, reports, ‘I had problems with focus during lovemaking. I worried about whether he would come too soon, or would I come at all—and lost my momentum. Fire Breathing helps me regain sexual focus. The breathing and flexing get me very excited. I can make myself have an orgasm this way, even if he’s already come. I can hold him inside me and sustain his erection for a little while by the sheer force of my PCs. I have an explosive orgasm. And he loves it too.’

Categories: bakos, better sex, Breathing, breathing exercise, breathing exercises, crain bakos, deep breaths, kundalini yoga, orgasm, sexual, sexual fitness

Moregasms: How to Climax Over and Oh-Oh-Over Again

You can never have too much of a good thing, especially if that thing involves your sexual health. For some women, achieving one orgasm during sex can be tricky, but we’re here to tell you that you can experience more than one climax in a single sack session! According to Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD, co-author of The Multi-Orgasmic Woman, ‘The average woman is built to come again and again.’ So that means mastering the first peak isn’t the end of the climb; you can achieve higher heights. Dr. Abrams explains, ‘Women don’t require a refractory period like men do, so we’re able to stay aroused for longer and have an orgasm a second and third time with little effort.’ So how can you boost your sexual wellbeing and have more orgasms?

 

1. Don’t Be Single-Minded: Dr. Abrams advises, ‘After you’ve gotten there for the first time, rather than switching off mentally and sexually — which is what you do when you assume you’ve reached the finale — you need to remain expectant and open to further arousal. ‘It’s all about knowing that your body is fully capable, even built, to experience deeper, longer, and more frequent orgasms…One of the biggest misconceptions women have about multiple orgasms is that they happen by chance or that they’re some sort of fluke, but like anything else, they require a little effort and planning that you don’t get from on-the-fly quickies…Tell him that tonight you want to feel the slow burn. And to get that, you really want to draw out foreplay, and you have a few ideas for the main event too.’

 

2. Get Sexercising: Beverly Whipple, PhD, co-author of The G Spot: And Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality, asserts that, to have multiple orgasms, you need strong PC or Kegel muscles. Laura Berman, PhD, author of The Passion Prescription, adds, ‘Since your orgasm is essentially an intense contraction of your PC and pelvic floor muscles, strengthening them increases blood flow to the area and enables you to experience a deeper pleasure sensation and a repeated series of pulses.’ Kegel exercises can help you to get more PC, so stop putting them off and just do them! Then, the moment you feel that first contraction of orgasm, ‘don’t let it slip away,’ says Dr. Abrams. ‘Keep pumping your muscles in small bursts to draw out the wave and create momentum for the next series of orgasmic contractions.’

 

3. Max Out Foreplay: ‘For most women, clitoral stimulation from oral sex is the easiest way for them to climax,’ notes Dr. Abrams. ‘And having your guy help you get there before intercourse means that your body will be geared up to come again and respond to the added vaginal stimulation during sex, rather than still struggling to orgasm for the first time.’ Make sure he takes it slow. Dr. Abrams points out, ‘If you’re aroused slowly, then you’ll stay aroused for longer, and unlike manual stimulation, his tongue is flexible, soft and strong — the perfect tool for making that happen.’ Let your partner tease you with his tongue, pull away for a few seconds, and then dive back in. Dr. Abrams explains, ‘Oral teasing techniques prime the body to expect that after each peak of sensation, another one is coming. And it remembers that lesson when you orgasm — after one, it’ll stay in that prepped state for more stimulation, putting you on the track to come again.’

 

4. Take a Mini Time-Out: Whipple details, ‘After an orgasm, a lot of nerve pathways have been stimulated, and there’s been a tremendous surge in blood flow. So it’s completely natural for some women to want to take a break from stimulation in those moments immediately following.’ Dr. Abrams advises, ‘Give the vaginal area a break for a minute, and have your partner suck your fingers, kiss you or caress your breasts. The stroking in other regions will keep your nerves and sensual energy on high alert while your nether regions cool off just enough to take his caresses all over again.’

Categories: abrams, abrams advises, blood flow, dr abrams, Foreplay, Kegel Exercises, ll stay, multiple orgasms, orgasm, stay aroused, stimulation

Men"s Common Sex Questions Answered

We’ve long heard of female queries regarding sex and it’s many surrounding topics, but rarely do we hear what men have to say on the matter. Men, it seems, have just as many questions and worries about sex, from what they look like to the opposite sex when they’re in the nude to how to navigate those sexual fantasies that are a little more difficult to fulfil. There aren’t issues to be worried about though, so here are a few of the more common questions the male portion of the human race have regarding sexual antics.

How do I minimise my chances of getting caught having sex in public?

Sex in public may be one of the more common sexual fantasies, but that’s not to say it’s easy or particularly safe, legally speaking. While it would be less of a risk to stay cooped up indoors every time you want to have sex, that’s not always the fun option so combining the two is the best option for a fun-filled sex life. Choosing your location wisely is the most important factor of sex outdoors, so don’t choose anywhere busy or where you’ll be caught in broad daylight. You need to choose somewhere quiet, unseen and more private – preferably, in a place with some cover so you can react quickly if you do get interrupted by a passer by!

Do women find the male member aesthetically pleasing?

People have always been of the opinion that men are more visually stimulated than women, but it’s a common question as to whether or not the penis is something that actually turns women on from a visual perspective. But studies show that that’s not actually true – women are more stimulated by visual cues than men. Women get turned on by basically anything sexual, and that goes for the male body as well. So men don’t need to worry that their naked body will be a turn-off – research suggests that the opposite is true!

Why does a woman’s mouth taste different after she’s had an orgasm?

Around 80 per cent of what we interpret as taste is actually smell, and research shows that smell changes along with one’s physiological state. Sexual arousal actually dulls your sense of smell, but post-orgasm your sense of smell and taste becomes keener. Furthermore, panting also makes a difference to a person’s breath, as there are anaerobic bacteria living on the back of the tongue which produce fumes naturally. Even in a healthy mouth, there may be some of these bacteria hanging around. Another theory is that certain hormones, such as oxytocin and cortisol, get released during orgasm and these can change taste sensitivity. It’s also been found that certain levels of arousal can change taste sensitivity, so these things combined can make a person’s mouth taste different pre and post-orgasm.

 

Does a woman’s orgasm get more intense if she has her feet in the air?

This may be a myth in terms of the female body, but it’s not been proven by science just yet. Certain positions don’t reduce or increase your risk of cutting off circulation, so there isn’t any proof that putting your feet in the air during sex makes orgasms more likely. However, certain positions do increase the stimulation to the nerve pathways in your pelvic region so this may be where the myth has stemmed from. There’s certainly no harm to this way of having sex though, so if it works for some then that’s great!

Categories: change taste, men, mouth taste, orgasm, post orgasm, questions, Sex, sexual, sexual fantasies, taste, taste sensitivity, Women

Orgasm Omniscience: What You’ve Always Wanted to Know

Orgasms make up an important part of sexual health and wellness, so why are they so confusing? Why do some women climax easily, while others struggle to reach that point? Not understanding orgasms can lead to further problems with your sexual wellbeing, so let’s take a look at some of the facts.

 

1. What is an orgasm?

On a physiological level, when you have an orgasm, your body suddenly discharges accumulated sexual tension, which causes rhythmic muscular contractions in your pelvic area. As you’re probably aware, this produces intensely pleasurable sensations followed by rapid relaxation. However, there is also a psychological experience that comes with orgasms in which your mind is focused solely on the personal experience and gives way to pleasure and abandon.

 

2. When do orgasms occur?

If you’ve seen Masters of Sex, you may have picked up on the fact that there are four stages in the sexual cycle. Masters and Johnson’s original research of the human sexual response cycle shows that orgasm is the third stage, preceded by a plateau and followed by the resolution phase. However, Helen Singer Kaplan, MD, PhD, has provided another, widely accepted model of the sexual response cycle that involves just three stages: desire, excitement and orgasm.

 

3. Are all orgasms the same?

Not only do orgasms vary from person to person; they also diverge for you as an individual at different times. You alone can experience an explosive, amazing rush of sensations, and, at another time, have a milder, subtler, and less intense orgasm. There are physical factors that can affect the intensity of orgasm – such as fatigue and the length of time since your last orgasm – and psychosocial factors – including mood, your relationship, activity, expectations, and feelings about the experience – also play a role.

 

4. What are the physical features of an orgasm?

First of all, your orgasms don’t only happen in your pelvis, but all over your body. Research has shown that, during an orgasm, your brain wave patterns distinctly change and muscles all over your body contract. During this phase of sexual response, you might find that your facial muscles involuntarily contract so that it looks like you’re grimacing or expressing displeasure. However, contrary to appearances, this expression indicates that you’re highly aroused. Without a doubt, the most characteristic physical feature of an orgasm is the sensation you feel. For women, this comes from contractions of the anal sphincter, rectum, perineum, uterus and outer third of the vagina (the orgasmic platform), while men experience contractions of the anal sphincter, rectum, perineum, ejaculatory ducts and muscles around the penis.

 

5. How do the contractions work?

In most orgasms, your first few contractions are intense and occur close together, at about 0.8-second intervals. However, these contractions diminish in intensity and duration as the orgasm continues, and they also occur at less frequent intervals.

 

6. Is there a gender difference?

Even though you and your partner are anatomically very different, there are great similarities between male and female orgasms, both physiologically and psychologically speaking. In fact, researchers have put sexual health experts to the test to see whether or not they could determine the difference with all the anatomical references removed, and the experts have come up wanting. That said, when it comes to the subjective experience of orgasms, men and women describe it differently:

 

• Women: A sense of suspension, quickly followed by an intensely pleasurable feeling usually beginning at the clitoris and spreading throughout the pelvis. Warm, electric or tingly feelings begin in the genitals and spread through some portion of the body. Most women also feel muscle contractions in their vagina or lower pelvis, described as “pelvic throbbing”.


• Men: A sensation of deep warmth or pressure that corresponds to ejaculatory inevitability, or the point when ejaculation cannot be stopped. This leads to sharp, intensely pleasurable contractions involving the pc muscles, anal sphincter, rectum, perineum and genitals, often described as a “pumping” sensation. This ends with a warm rush of fluid travelling through the urethra during ejaculation.

Categories: anal sphincter, intensely pleasurable, men and women, orgasm, Orgasms, physiological, rectum perineum, response cycle, sexual health, sexual response, sphincter rectum

Fuse Blower: How to Get the Orgasm You’re After

The problem with female sexual health and wellness is that even the smallest thing can set you off course. As Nicole Beland, author of Sex, The Whole Picture: The Ultimate How-To for Lovers, details, ‘When I’m this close to orgasm—eyes squeezed shut, lips twisted in a Billy Idol sneer, cheeks glowing—the most descriptive word wouldn’t be “passionate” or “erotic.” It would be “determined.” Because right then, at the edges of my fading consciousness, I’m worried that the phone will ring, my knees will lose their traction on the sheets, or my boyfriend will change position, and suddenly I’ll be sliding away from that elusive peak instead of moving toward it. For the 75% of women who don’t always reach orgasm during intercourse, this happens all the time.’

 

What you need is a fuse blower, or a last shot of stimulation to send you over the edge. According to sex therapist Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First, ‘Calling it a fuse blower is pretty appropriate. Recent studies show that in order for a woman to achieve orgasm, the part of her brain associated with stress, emotion, and anxiety has to shut down.’ If your partner is able to do something that makes you feel so good that you relax and let go, it’s very likely that you will reach that all-important climax. So, take a look at Beland’s list of orgasm triggers, share them with your partner, and get him to try one out once you reach the point at which you’re sweaty and breathing fast.

 

1. The Double Grip: ‘Despite all the attention her booty may attract when she’s walking down the street in tight jeans or bending over a file cabinet, a woman’s butt is too often sidelined during sex,’ says Beland. ‘And that’s why grabbing both of her cheeks when she’s on top may be just the unexpected turn-on a girl needs to get off.’ New York sex therapist Gilda Carle, PhD, explains, ‘The buttocks are packed with nerve endings. To give her a surprising jolt of pleasure, spread your fingers wide and squeeze both buttocks firmly.’ However, before you give your partner a good spanking, just make sure you have a conversation about it first!

 

2. The Up Shift: Beland provides the following tip courtesy of her friend Rachel: ‘When a guy is on top of you in the missionary position, have him shift his body slightly forward so that, every time he thrusts, his penis rubs against your clitoris.’ However, you can make this tactic even more orgasmic if your legs are together and your man is straddling you. Ellen Friedrichs, MA, an adjunct professor of human sexuality at RutgersUniversity, notes that this variation ‘increases clitoral stimulation.’ Or, if he’s on top, get your partner to prop himself up on his elbows so that his abdomen is in closer contact with your sweet spot.

 

3. The Ultimate: If in doubt, try foreplay, recommends Kerner: ‘Going down on a woman allows [men] to get a real sense of the stimulation she likes at every stage of arousal, especially the final one.’ Getting off when he’s going down also eliminates any performance anxiety you might have during intercourse, so you can potentially get more bang for your buck (pun intended). To get the experience you need, have your partner take note of Beland’s instructions. ‘Learn what she likes,’ she asserts. ‘Get between her legs and give her a solid base of lips, tongue, gums, and even chin to rub against. At first, use your hands to guide her hips to let her know you want her to do the grinding. When she takes over, note how hard she’s pushing and in what direction. Use that information later when using your fingers or giving her a more aggressive tongue bath.’

Categories: beland, clitoral stimulation, female orgasm, fuse blower, nbsp, oral sex, orgasm, partner, reach, sex therapist

Achieve Stronger Orgasms Faster with 5 Everyday Habits

One sexual health problem that always seems centred on women is that of achieving better orgasms. Although men do need adequate stimulation and attention before climax, their process is pretty much fool-proof in this area. We, on the other hand, are a little more complex, but does that mean you have to cope with a life of hit-and-miss sexual experiences? Of course not. You can take control of your sexual wellbeing simply by changing or adding a few everyday habits, and achieve stronger, faster orgasms as a result.

 

1. Relax: According to award-winning wellness writer Hope Gillette, ‘Relaxing does not mean heading to the spa and de-stressing from the day (though that will certainly help an orgasm, too!), it means learning to let go of the worry women tend to have regarding having an orgasm. Because not all women can climax through vaginal intercourse, and because it sometimes takes a very specific combination of moves and caresses to bring a woman to orgasm, women tend to feel a certain amount of anxiety that they won’t peak before or with their partner. This will prevent women from relaxing and enjoying sex. It is also one of the most common reasons women fake orgasms.’

 

2. Communicate: ‘Just because you have a great relationship with your partner doesn’t men he understands what you need in bed,’ says Gillette. ‘Men aren’t mind readers, and they can only help you achieve a stronger orgasm, faster if you tell them what you like and what you don’t like…Men want direction, and if you aren’t comfortable communicating that in words, try just making encouraging noises or guiding them along. Just keep in mind your man wants to please you and if he is not, he would certainly appreciate your help.’

 

3. Understand your own body: How are you going to know what you like if you haven’t experimented by yourself? Gillette advises, ‘Masturbation is a great way for women to explore their bodies before they get into a sexual situation with a partner. Once you know what you like, you’ll be able to communicate that to your partner. Similarly, you can take time on your own to do Kegel exercises. These will strengthen your pelvic flood muscles and help you achieve a stronger orgasm, faster. Kegel can also help pleasure your partner as you can control your “grip” during vaginal intercourse. Masturbation also helps you discover different moves and poses that increase your pleasure.’

 

4. Don’t skip foreplay: ‘If you’re skipping foreplay just to hop into vaginal intercourse because your man is ready to go, you’re short-changing yourself on a very important part of the female orgasm,’ Gillette warns. ‘Orgasms are more intense for a woman if she is adequately aroused.  Arousal increases blood flow to sensitive areas and helps increase sexual stimulation. Foreplay can also include sexual fantasy; remember, the brain is responsible for arousal, too. Sexual fantasy can mean bringing toys into the mix or watching a sexy movie with your partner. Don’t rely on your partner only though. Fantasizing with whatever arouses you will help you reach an orgasm faster. Don’t feel guilty about thinking about something else if that helps you enjoy sex.’

 

5. Breathe: Although it sounds simple, breathing in the right way has a huge impact on your orgasms. Gillette instructs, ‘Contrary to what you may be thinking, you do not want to slow your breathing down or try to hold it in; you want to breathe fast, which will throw the body into a state of heightened senses. Letting go will also help you – instead of breathing out silently, don’t be shy about making noises and moaning – you’ll be surprised how much it excites you and your partner.’

Categories: achieve stronger, Communication, everyday habits, orgasm, Orgasms, partner, sexual fantasy, stronger orgasm, vaginal intercourse, Women, women tend

What Is The Purpose Of Ejaculation During Sex?

Ejaculation occurs as a part of the male sexual response cycle, and is the release of semen from the penis. During sex or masturbation, semen collects in the ejaculatory ducts, situated at the ends of the vas deferentia where they join the seminal vesicles in the prostate gland. When the man reaches close to orgasm, a spinal reflex causes rhythmic contractions in the urethra, penis and prostate gland to begin, propelling semen through the urethra and out of the tip of the penis. Once a man reaches a point of sexual arousal, he can’t prevent ejaculation. This feeling that passes the point of control is known as ejaculatory inevitability. The contractions of the prostate, perineal muscles and shaft of the penis begin at 0.8 second intervals, the same as in women, and account for the spurting action that happens during ejaculation. The intervals between contractions become longer and the intensity begins to decrease and taper off after the first three or four contractions. The semen doesn’t actually appear until a few seconds after the ejaculatory inevitability begins, because of the distance the fluid needs to travel through the urethra. As the man is ejaculating, the internal sphincter in the urinary bladder is tightly sealed so that urine and the seminal fluid don’t mix as the semen moves out of the body.

Orgasm and male ejaculation aren’t the same process, though in most men the processes occur at the same time. Orgasm specifically refers to the sudden and rhythmic muscle contractions in the pelvic region, as the release of sexual tension begins and a pleasurable sensation occurs. Ejaculation can sometimes occur during sleep for men and is an involuntary process. This is known as nocturnal emissions or ‘wet dreams’, and commonly occurs in adolescents. There are several types of ejaculation, with some resulting in this fine-tuned process being disrupted. The first is retrograde ejaculation where the bladder’s sphincter doesn’t close properly and semen spurts back into the bladder. This is often found in men who have diabetes, multiple sclerosis and after some forms of prostate surgery. It also sometimes occurs in men who don’t have serious problems though. This isn’t physically painful but it does leave the man infertile and the sensation during ejaculation may be different. It’s often referred to as a ‘dry come’ because there is an orgasm but no seminal fluid is released.

 

Premature ejaculation is a condition where the man comes too quickly, and has no control over the timing of the build-up of ejaculation. Retarded ejaculation is also known as delayed ejaculation, and is a conditioned where the sexual response is a problem. It’s sometimes known as ejaculatory incompetence, in which a man is unable to ejaculate even when he is highly aroused. Lastly, there is female ejaculation which has sparked much debate among researchers. Some people believe it is possible for a woman to expel fluid from the urethra at the time of orgasm through G Spot stimulation. It’s thought that the fluid released comes from the female prostate, which are rudimentary glands that surround the urethra. The composition of the fluid has also been debated, with some researchers claiming it’s not urine and others stating that it is. Not all women experience an ejaculatory response to G Spot stimulation, with research suggesting that between 10 and 40 per cent of women have ever experienced ejaculation. However, for those who do find it occurs, it is perfectly normal and not harmful in any way.

Categories: Ejaculation, ejaculatory inevitability, fluid, man reaches, orgasm, prostate gland, Semen, seminal fluid, Sex, sexual response, spot stimulation

What Is The G Spot And How Do You Find It?

Having caused much debate among researchers as to whether its real, the G Spot (or Grafenberg spot) is a small area of especially high sensitivity situated underneath the surface of the vagina, on the wall towards the front of a woman’s body. The location varies from woman to woman, but it’s typically situated halfway between the pubic bone and the cervix – around three inches into the vagina. Researchers have discovered that some women experience sensitivity more generally along the upper vaginal wall, rather than in any definable spot. But because of the location of the G Spot being beneath the surface of the vaginal wall, it needs to be stimulated indirectly through the wall. Many women notice that they have an urge to urinate when this spot is stimulated but continued stimulation (with an empty bladder) can be very pleasurable. Some women even go on to experience orgasms and even expel fluid as part of their contractions. But this area of the body has been a great source of debate among researchers, with many people believing that it doesn’t exist. Researchers Alice Ladas, John Perry and Beverly Whipple named the spot in honour of Ernst grafenberg who discovered it. They argue that the area is located higher up along the vagina, whereas Israeli sexologist Dr Zwi Hoch states that the entire anterior of the vaginal wall is filled with nerve endings that are capable of creating an intense state of arousal.

Naturally, orgasmic function is highly individualised among women and this means that women vary vastly in how and if they achieve orgasm. Where her G Spot is and whether it can influence her orgasm varies and depends on the woman in question. Recent research shows that orgasmic function and how women orgasm is highly genetically based, so whether a woman has an orgasm through oral sex alone or direct clitoral stimulation, or a combination of intercourse and stimulation, is something that is determined by their genetic make-up. For women who have the potential to orgasm with intercourse as well as direct clitoral stimulation, stimulation to the G Spot can be useful. It’s not, however, useful to be worrying about it’s location, not is it useful in looking for the same spot in a man as this only exists in women. The other area of debate with this issue is the composition of the fluid which is sometimes expelled by women during orgasm from G Spot stimulation. Some researchers claim that it’s urine, whereas others state that this is a substance corresponding to seminal fluid in men, but without the sperm. Not every woman will ejaculate with G Spot stimulation though, not do they necessarily ejaculate with every G Spot orgasm.

 

It’s quite difficult for a woman to explore her own G Spot because most women don’t have fingers long enough to reach it. However, inserting a safe, clean, appropriate object such as a vibrator, into the vagina is probably the safest way for self-exploration. Alternatively, the help of a trusted partner during sex can work effectively as well. Through experimentation, a woman can learn the type of stimulation that works best for her during sex. Penile stimulation is often more effective when done through steady and prolonged pressure, rather than the usual thrusting, because the G Spot needs an intense and localised pressure to be stimulated. Gradually increasing the pressure with help to identify the optimal pressure for erotic arousal without causing any pain. For some women, this pressure is enough to help them achieve orgasm whereas others may find that it simply heightens their pleasure. Rear entry and female-on-top positions during sex can be effective ways to produce more direct stimulation to this area.

Categories: orgasm, stimulation, Women

Struggling To Climax? You May Have Female Orgasmic Disorder

In the final phase of sex, a woman often achieves an orgasm. But for some women this isn’t always feasible – some women can’t achieve an orgasm at all. In the absence or persistent delay of an orgasm, a woman may become distressed and may well be diagnosed with female orgasmic disorder or FOD. This can be labelled as primary, where a woman has never reached orgasm, or secondary, where a woman can no longer achieve orgasm. Primary is the most challenging of all female sexual dissatisfactions to treat, but there are a number of reasons why a woman can find themselves in this situation. One of these reasons is emotional trauma, or sexual or physical abuse. If a woman has a history of abuse, it leads to her having a higher risk of emotional and physical problems, one of those being the inability to achieve orgasm. Depression and anxiety can greatly affect your ability to reach climax, and that in itself can run your sex life. Feelings of guilt, anger fear, shame or isolation can be common in women who have experienced abuse in the past.

For some women, these feelings may be expressed in the inability to be present when making love, while in others it may be finding yourself on the verge of orgasm then hitting a wall. Medications and surgery can also contribute to this problem, with excessive amounts of alcohol or drugs reducing your blood pressure. Antidepressants are known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors and anti-anxiety drugs such as Xanax and sedatives can inhibit the engorgement of your genitals, which is a precondition for building to a climax. Sexual techniques do, of course, play a part as well though. You can’t talk about orgasms without mentioning the method you use to get there, and for some people this could contribute towards their inability to reach a climax. Making love isn’t something anyone is born knowing how to do, so it may be that you’ve never learnt how to give and receive sexual stimulation properly. There are a number of reasons why this may be the case, from cultural to religious, along with the embarrassment some women feel in talking about sex. These may lead to problems when it comes to orgasms, and are common in men and women alike, but could be causing you problems in the bedroom.

 

Another problem which could be to blame is pelvic floor prolapse which is a condition which could be affecting your ability to reach orgasm. This occurs when the muscles which support the internal pelvic orgasms loosen; this can happen with childbirth, with ageing, surgery or spinal cord injury. Women suffering with this problem often experience an urge to urinate and complain of pressure in the vagina or rectum. There are ways to overcome all of these problems, however. We are conditioned to believe that sex has to end with an orgasm, but there are ways to enjoy sex without worrying about the end result. Add that high level of pressure to love making affects the end result in itself, so try to relax first of all and enjoy sex without thinking about the orgasm at the end. You may find counselling sessions useful if you struggle to unwind and focus on the sex itself. If you’re concerned about your ability to reach climax, speak to your GP who may be able to offer a treatment to your problem.

Categories: achieve orgasm, climax, female orgasmic, orgasm, orgasmic disorder, problems, reach climax, Sex, woman, Women

The Female Orgasm & its Importance to Human Race

The question regarding female orgasms and their necessity in the process of evolution is one which has been asked many times. And for many people, the concept of questioning it seemed mildly unnecessary in itself – they’re worthwhile to women so who cares about their necessity for the human race? But the topic is a tough one to explore from an evolutionary standpoint. Many biologists do suggest that male non-human primates experience something similar to intercourse, usually judging from a marked change in their body language during ejaculation. So the rationale behind the male orgasm is obvious. For men, orgasm and ejaculation go hand in hand, and with such pleasure preceding the ejaculation, a man is effectively encouraged to spread his seed. A man who experiences orgasm through ejaculation is far more likely to put extra effort into finding sexual partners, than men who ejaculate without any accompanying pleasure. But the physical process of the female orgasm is altogether different. In women, the orgasm isn’t connected to the release of an egg into the uterus, and women can only get pregnant once in any given period of time, so the number of partners is less of an issue in terms of the evolution of a species and its survival.

So why is the orgasm a part of the female sexual experience? It may well be a part of evolutionary adaptation, or it may just be a lucky break. But if it’s down to evolution, what is it offering in terms of survival of a species? Men and women experience very similar physiological changes during orgasm, which usually lasts around a minute. In both sexes, the rectum contracts at intervals of around 0.8 seconds, where lots of muscles in other areas of the body also spasm. There are a number of chemicals which are released at this time, from serotonin to oxytocin. In women, the muscles in the vagina and uterus contract too. These contractions are the basis for one of the evolutionary explanations of the female orgasm – known as the sperm retention theory. Many researchers hypothesise that when the vagina contracts, it is aiming to retain more sperm, to increase the likelihood of getting pregnant. Another theory in keeping with this idea is that orgasm tires a woman out, causing her to lie on her back after sex – it is during this time, researchers say, that more sperm can stay within the body and make its way towards the egg.

 

Currently, the big theory is that women have orgasms for no reason at all – there is no adaptation, it’s simply a wonderful accident which stems from the initial phase of foetal development. This was a popular theory in the ‘70s and has recently seen a revival. In the initial development hypothesis, women simply have orgasms because men do. In the early stages of development within the uterus, the foetus isn’t gendered, and the hormones which determine the gender haven’t yet kicked in. So when the gender is decided, it still has the nerve pathways that create the orgasm. But if this theory is correct, what does that mean for the state of the orgasm in women? If it’s not vital for survival of the species, will it be phased out? What we can determine is that there is still a long way to go before we know the real reason for the female orgasm – its cryptic purpose still baffles researchers to this day.

Categories: Ejaculation, evolution, female, female orgasm, orgasm, Sex, theory, Women

These Sexy Secrets Could Help Improve Your Love Life

At any one time, 4,000 people around the world are having sexual intercourse. Sex is not all about what you can do in bed, however. It is about a more rounded picture that includes your physical and emotional wellness and wellbeing. In order to have a good sexual relationship with a woman, you need to focus on the skills of caring, communication and confidence (otherwise known as the three cs).

 

The best news of this article is possibly the fact that sweatiness is a turn on. Men who sweat are actually oozing testosterone, and this is a biological turn on for many women. Therefore, if you find that you work up a bit of a sweat during a sex session, there is no need to worry.

 

When you are having sex, you should also consider the temperature of the room. A warm room is better than a cold one. If necessary, turn off the ear conditioner (or at least turn it down low) in the summer, or turn up the heating in the winter. Heat can cause the blood vessels to dilate and make the penis and vagina more likely to dilate and swell, leading enhanced arousal.

 

If you are having sex for reproductive purposes rather than purely for pleasure, try to ensure that the woman has an orgasm. If a woman has an orgasm she is more likely to become pregnant because the muscles in the pelvis contracting helps to draw the sperm up into the birth canal, where fertilsation can occur.

 

In order to make sure that an orgasm occurs make sure that you don’t rush into the main act. Foreplay such as stroking, sucking, licking and touching can help to start the process towards orgasm. You can then gradually build up the momentum until the grand finale.

Categories: intercourse, men, nbsp, orgasm, Sex, sweat, turn, woman

Men: How to Give a Woman an Amazing Orgasm

Female orgasms are linked to many different senses. Unlike men, it is not simply a case of pressing the right buttons (so to speak!) – women need an overall sexual experience to help them achieve orgasm, it is far more sensual and far less mechanical.

 

Orgasm is great for the wellness and wellbeing, though, as it increases blood flow and releases ‘feel good’ hormones in the brain which fight against stress, anxiety and depression, and also help to cement a bond between partners.

 

If you want to make a woman have the best orgasm of her life, think about the senses and how they relate to orgasm. For example, women are sexually influenced by what they hear. As well as indulging in a little sexy talk, you should also be vocally expressive when you are having a good time together. Gasping at the right moment or moaning when you feel pleasure help to increase her arousal.

 

Sight is also very sexy for women – that doesn’t mean that she’ll be up for looking at porn together (although don’t rule it out!) but one thing you could also try is having sex in front of a mirror. Being able to watch what you are doing as you are doing it will be very arousing for her, and can help to create a great orgasm.

 

Smell is another sense that can turn her on – if you’ve started using a new cologne since you met, get hold of the old one and spray a little bit of it on, just occasionally. The smell will trigger feelings of arousal in her as she remembers the early days when you were at it like rabbits.

 

Taste is another one – introducing certain sweet foods as part of your sexual routine can lead to heightened sensuality and arousal, and a mindblowing orgasm at the end of it.

Categories: arousal, nbsp, orgasm, Sex, smell, Women

Sex Headaches: Are You Dreading Your Next Orgasm?

Everyone’s heard of the “Sorry, I have a headache” gambit when you’re just not in the mood, but did you know that a special kind of headache could affect your wellness after you have sex? Any kind of sexual activity can negatively impact your wellbeing, but orgasms are especially well-known for causing sex headaches. These headaches can be a serious dampener on your sexual health; after all, would you want to get intimate if you knew a nasty headache was to follow? Let’s take a closer look at the causes of sex headaches, and what you can do to prevent and treat them.

 

Most sex headaches are nothing to worry about, but if you don’t understand the signs as they’re happening, you may be a bit concerned. Sometimes, sex headaches begin as a dull ache in your head and neck, often on both sides. You might also find that your neck and jaw muscles might tighten up. Then this pain builds over several minutes as your sexual excitement increases. However, the most common form of sex headache is a sudden, severe pain just before or during orgasm. Though this can hurt, sex headaches are usually no more than a general annoyance. However, some sex headaches can be a sign of something serious, such as problems with the blood vessels that feed your brain.

 

Generally speaking, a sex headache will last for a few minutes, but some can linger for a few hours. For most people, sex headaches will occur in clusters over a period of a few months, and then they’ll disappear for a year or more. While we’ve already established that sex headaches aren’t usually a cause for concern, if you do experience a headache during sexual activity, you should consult your doctor as soon as possible. This is especially true in the case of headaches that begin abruptly, or if it’s your first headache of this type. No matter the kind of sexual activity – be it masturbation, anal sex, oral sex or intercourse – you should speak to your doctor.

 

If your sex headache comes on abruptly, it may be associated with:

• Intracranial aneurysm: This is a widening or bubble in the wall of an artery inside your head.


• Arteriovenous malformation: This is an abnormal connection between the arteries and veins in your brain that bleeds into the spinal fluid-filled space in and around the brain


• Dissection: This is a case of bleeding into the wall of an artery leading to your brain.


• Stroke


• Coronary artery disease


• Use of some medications: This includes birth control pills


• Inflammation from certain infections

 

As well as these underlying medical conditions, there are some nasty side effects that can come along with sex headaches. Accompanying symptoms of sex headaches include loss of consciousness, vomiting, stiff neck, other neurological symptoms and severe pain lasting more than 24 hours. If these occur alongside your sex headache, this means that it is more likely to be due to an underlying cause. You’re also more likely to get a sex headache if you’re a man or your generally prone to having migraine headaches. However, sex headaches can affect anyone. If you want to prevent sex headaches, stopping sexual activity before you reach orgasm can help, as can taking a more passive role during sex. For those who have a history of sex headaches and there’s no underlying cause, your doctor may recommend that you take preventive medications regularly. These may include daily medications, such as beta blockers, or occasional medications like indomethacin (Indocin) or one of the triptans.

Categories: Brain, headache, headaches, Medications, orgasm, severe pain, sex headache, sex headaches, sexual, sexual activity, Underlying Conditions