Sex Ed for 20-Somethings: What Men Learn with Age

Your experience of sex changes as you get older; hopefully for the better. Sure, you may not be as energetic or eager as you once were, but you learn more as you go along, and all that experience works wonders for your sexual wellbeing. So, as a warning for you younger men, or as a lovely trip down memory lane for you silver foxes, let’s take a look at the sex lessons you learn when you’re in your 20s.

 

1. Girls Can Be Bad at Sex: According to Sexual Health and Wellness Writer Mike Sheppard, ‘This is shocking for most guys. At first, the simple fact that you were both naked was all it took. Then there is that one girl who seems to be dangling from the headboard and shrieking profanities for no reason at all. It’s not you. It’s her. This is a very subtle shift that happens at this stage of our lives when we begin to allow ourselves to have likes and dislikes in bed, and not just gratitude. Well, we should still be grateful. But the bottom line is that she can be equally responsible if a hot date ends up turning into a sexual misfire.’

 

2. You Can Talk About What You Like: ‘You can talk to her during sex?,’ asks Sheppard. ‘Yes. Yes, you can. You can even look her in the eye. Go one step further and you guys can talk about what each of you would enjoy or would rather the other never did again. How else is she supposed to know if she should speed up or slow down? Neither of you are mind readers. And once you open that line of communication in those first years of sexual dalliances, your sex life will get infinitely better. The 20s are about learning what you really like, and this ain’t happening without some talk. Just don’t be a chatterbox.’

 

3. Fantasies Aren’t Always Fantastic: Sheppard notes, ‘Our teen years are spent imagining all the things we would love to do to women and what we would love to have them do to us. Our 20s can be a sobering reminder that these fantasies can actually be painfully awkward – and just plain painful. You have to try things to learn what works, but this is a great example of something that you will start to get a feel for during those formative years. And the only one that will leave you with emotional and physical scarring.’

 

4. Drunk Sex Can Suck: It ‘seems impossible to imagine even being sober when you’re having sex in your 20s,’ Sheppard points out. ‘How am I even supposed to relax? But something changes along the way, and you start to notice that too much booze can make a great encounter quickly turn into an awkward and sleepy event. Many guys learn this after they pass out in the middle of sex and wake up to discover they’re now alone in the bed.’

 

5. You Should Never Sleep With Your Friend’s Ex: Sheppard argues, ‘In our teens, life is like summer camp. People are swapping makeout partners like the cast of Gossip Girl in the span of a single season. But as we enter our 20s, when relationships start to mean a little more, it’s no longer cool to start hooking up with your boy’s ex at the bar two weeks after she dumped him. This is part of growing up.’

 

6. Your Partner Doesn’t Want a Picture of Your Package: ‘To be honest, some guys never learn this – and some women probably know it all too well,’ Sheppard comments. ‘But for the most part, many men have learned the hard way that this can be a huge mistake (or small mistake, depending on the angle). Bottom line here: You will try it and you will learn what works for you.’

 

Categories: 20-Somethings, guys, learn, men, nbsp, sexual, sexual experience, sheppard

Prepared for Puberty: What Changes Should You Expect?

Ok, they’ve probably taught you about this in school, but in case you weren’t listening or were too worried about what your friends were saying to pay close attention, let’s talk about puberty. During your teenage years, your body begins to develop and change more than it will at any other time in your life – except when you were a baby – and this is known as puberty. The important thing to note here is that everyone goes through these changes, and it’s perfectly normal. Still, it’s a good idea to know what to expect, so you don’t get freaked out when these changes occur.

 

At a certain age during your adolescent years (between seven and 13 in girls and nine and 15 in guys), your brain releases a gonadotropin-releasing hormone, or GnRH, which starts the puberty process. The GnRH travels to a gland under your brain known as the pituitary gland, and this releases two more puberty hormones into your bloodstream; luteinizing hormone (LH) and follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH). Although both guys and girls will have both of these hormones in their bodies, your sex will determine how these hormones go to work on different parts of the body. For guys, these hormones signal the production of testosterone and sperm, while FSH and LH stimulate girls’ ovaries to begin producing another hormone called oestrogen. Both of these processes prepare your body for reproduction.

 

Another change that happens during puberty is a growth spurt. For about two or three years, your body rapidly grows – even up to four or more inches in the space of a year. This will be the last time you grow in your life so once your growth spurt ends, this is your new adult height. Your body will also change in shape as well as size. Guys, your shoulders will widen and your body will become more muscular. You’ll also notice that your voice becomes deeper, your testes get bigger and your penis lengthens and widens. Some guys do experience a bit of breast development, but this often goes away by the end of puberty.

 

Girls, you’ll probably become curvier, gaining more weight on your hips and bigger breasts. This begins with a little swelling under your nipple, and you may find that one breast grows more quickly than the other. However, time will soon even things out. It’s perfectly normal to experience occasional soreness under the nipples as your breasts start to enlarge. It’s also completely healthy and common to notice an increase in body fat, so don’t try to go on a diet to go back to your pre-puberty weight – that was a kid’s weight, of course you’re not going to weigh the same! If you ever have questions or concerns about your weight, talk it over with your doctor. About two to three years after your breasts start growing, you’ll have your first period.

 

One change that both guys and girls go through is finding hair in new places. In the beginning, you’ll notice light and sparse hair growing under your arms and in your pubic area (on and around your genitals). As you go through puberty, this hair becomes longer, thicker, heavier, and darker. Eventually, guys also start to grow hair on their faces. Speaking of faces, you may also develop acne, due to the hormonal changes in your body. This normally disappears during adulthood, but until then you may have acne on your face, your upper back, or your upper chest. It helps to keep your skin clean, and your doctor will be able to offer some suggestions for clearing up acne.

Categories: body, change, girls, growth spurt, growth spurts, guys, hormones, puberty