Six Worries Women Have About Sex After Pregnancy

Having sex again after you’ve had a baby can be a concern for a lot of women, as there are many fears about what the experience will be like. According to sexual health and wellness expert Macki West, founder of Cool Mom Tips, there’s ‘no need to fret, most of us are scared to dive back in [to sex]. Some common thoughts are: Will my vagina feel loose? Will it hurt? I feel gross and unattractive. Being touched is the last thing I want right now. All of these thoughts are all totally normal.’ That said, while it’s normal to have such thoughts, some of them are unfounded. There are many myths surrounding sex after pregnancy, so let’s debunk a few of them:

 

1. Your Vagina Will Be Loose: ‘No it won’t,’ says West. ‘Your partner will not be “tossing a hot dog down a hallway”. If that were the case then there would never be kid number two. My husband is honest with me and I straight up asked him if there was a difference. He told me I feel just as tight, but that women actually feel differently all the time, from one sexual encounter to the next. I trust my husband and since he keeps coming back for more, I know I’m just fine down there.’

 

2. You’ve Had A C-section So Sex Won’t Hurt: West asserts, ‘That’s a flat out lie. Ok, I’ve never had a C-section, but plenty of my friends have and they have experienced just as much if not more discomfort post baby.’

 

3. You Don’t Need Birth Control: West advises, ‘Unless you want to have your babies very, very close together, you do need birth control, even if you are breastfeeding. You will ovulate BEFORE your first period so it could be too late before you decide to use a contraceptive. Talk with your doctor before giving birth about your birth control options. If you are breastfeeding your options are limited to condoms, IUD, or mini pill. Another myth is that you won’t get your period while you are breastfeeding. I did with my first two kids and I’m just waiting for the old period to rear it’s ugly head this time around.’

 

4. You’ll Be as Dry as the Sahara: Unfortunately, there’s some truth to this one. West explains, ‘Your hormones are all wacked and your oestrogen levels are low which means there’s less natural lubrication in your vagina. Make sure to have lots of foreplay, read: oral sex or use a store bought lubricant. If you are not comfortable buying lubricant, just get some online.’

 

5. Sex Won’t Be as Good as it was Before: ‘Some women actually have more intense orgasms post baby,’ says West. ‘It’s true. It has been known that some women have sex within a week of giving birth and enjoy it immensely. I’m not one of them and I don’t feel badly about it one bit. It takes me a few months to get back into enjoying it and that’s OK. Once the baby is sleeping through the night you will have the opportunity to get your sexy back.’

 

6. Touching is Too Much: ‘Many women feel over-touched,’ West admits. ‘Oh yes, we do. Just the other night my husband decided to “enjoy” my breasts. He may have enjoyed it, but I had to stop him and gently tell him that I’ve got my fill of breast touching and nipple sucking. He laughed and totally understood and moved on to something we would both enjoy. With all this baby holding and breastfeeding and intimacy with your baby, sometimes it’s hard to turn that off and turn on the sexual intimacy. Or you are just touched out and would prefer to be in bed with no human contact, I’ve had those nights.’

Categories: Baby, Birth Control, c-section, feel, giving birth, Myths, nbsp, post baby, sex after pregnancy, sex won, west, Women

Back to Sex: Four Ways to Get Physical After Pregnancy

Once you’ve given birth, getting back to the peak of sexual health might not be the first thing on your mind. However, after four to six weeks – depending on how you are feeling – you can resume sexual activity and the idea might not be such a turn-off. Still, a lot of couples find that sex just doesn’t fit into their new lifestyle or they’re just too tired to do it – but sex can be amazing after having a baby, and it’s good for your wellbeing as well as your relationship. Make sure you get the go-ahead from your doctor, and then try our tips for getting back in the saddle.

 

1. Exercise: According to noted wellness writer Maria Trimarchi, ‘When you get your body moving, you get your blood flowing, and that includes to the genital region. Lower body exercises such as lunges as well as core-building moves like plank position all help to tone and strengthen muscles used during sex, with the added benefit of feeling good about boosting your energy, losing weight and sculpting those sexy abs.’

 

2. Kegels: As well as an all-over body workout, you need to work that pelvic floor. Trimarchi explains, ‘Pelvic floor muscles support your uterus, bladder and bowels, and pregnancy and childbirth weakens them. Kegel exercises will help. The stronger your pelvic floor muscles are, the more strongly they’ll contract during an orgasm. First, find your pelvic floor muscles – one of the most common ways is to try to stop the flow of urine as you go to the bathroom (don’t make this a habit, though, because fiddling with your urine flow may put you at risk for urinary tract infections). The muscles that allow you to do this are the muscles you want to work out.’ Once you’ve found those muscles, Trimarchi instructs, ‘Squeeze those muscles for about 10 seconds, rest for 10 seconds and repeat. If 10 seconds is too long, try three or five to begin with – practicing a set of 10 Kegels three times a day will have your pelvic floor muscles in shape in about six to 12 weeks.’

 

3. Sleep: In 2007, the National Sleep Foundation found that about 84% of postpartum women experience a sleep problem at least a few nights a week and about 72% wake up feeling un-refreshed – and it’s not hard to see how this can put a dampener on your sex life! Trimarchi notes, ‘People who feel tired, stressed, sad or angry – all common when we don’t get about seven to eight hours of sleep a night – are unlikely to be in the mood for sex.’ Kristen Chase, who is also known as the Mominatrix, publisher and COO of Cool Mom Picks, adds, ‘Your kids really deserve the happiest, most fulfilled mom they can have. And moms all want to do the best for their children. Taking care of ourselves and our relationships are the best things we can do. You’re modelling a positive relationship and what a happy mom looks like.’

 

4. Don’t Have Sex: Ironically enough, you can spice up your sex life by not having sex. Eliza Holland, CNM, MSN, and chairperson of the Connecticut Chapter of the AmericanCollege of Nurse Midwives, recommends, ‘Take turns making requests until you’re ready for intercourse. Today you get to decide. And you might just want a massage. Then it’s his turn. Intercourse happens when you both agree it’s time.’ Trimarchi suggests, ‘Instead of sex, build the anticipation for sex. Touch, tease and explore each other’s bodies. Or revisit old favourites. Remember what it was like to just kiss? Maybe making out in the backseat of your car will make you feel like teenagers again, without a care in the world.’

Categories: exercise, floor, floor muscles, kegels, muscles, pelvic, pelvic floor, sex after pregnancy, sex life, sleep, trimarchi

Having Sex after Pregnancy: Are You Prepared?

Now you’ve got a new little person’s wellbeing to watch out for, sex after pregnancy might be the last thing on your mind. However, at some point you will start to think about your sexual health again, and you need to understand what to expect and how to renew intimacy with your partner.

 

When can you start? Unfortunately, sex after pregnancy can be a little harmful to your wellness in the early stages, thanks to vaginal soreness and sheer exhaustion. Whether you have had a c-section or given birth vaginally, your body will need time to heal and so jumping back in bed is perhaps not the best idea. Most wellness experts will agree that you need to wait for four to six weeks before having sex again, as this will give your body time for your cervix to close, postpartum bleeding to stop, and any tears or repaired lacerations to heal. However, there’s another important timeline to consider; your own. While some women are jumping at the bit to have sex again, others need a few months or even longer to move past the fatigue, stress and fear of pain that all take a toll on your sex drive.

 

Will it hurt? You go through a lot of hormonal changes after pregnancy – especially if you’re breast-feeding – which means your vagina will most likely be dry and tender. This means you need to take things slow to help ease any discomfort during sex. Start with some cuddling, kissing or massage before you gradually move on to a greater intensity of stimulation. Lubricants and gels can help with vaginal dryness, as can trying different positions to take pressure off any sore areas and control penetration. As is always the case with sex, communication is crucial, so you need to tell your partner what feels good — and what doesn’t. If sex continues to be painful, consult your health care provider about possible treatment options.

 

Will it feel different? If you delivered vaginally, the muscle tone in your vagina will have decreased, meaning that the pleasurable friction you normally experience during sex may be missing. This can have an influence on your arousal and enjoyment of sex, albeit temporarily. Kegel exercises can help you to tone your pelvic floor muscles more quickly, and, as a result, get back to that amazing arousal you used to experience. To locate the right muscles, stop your flow while peeing. The muscles that you use to do this are the ones you need to contract, exhaling as you do so and inhaling when you release. Try it for five seconds at a time, four or five times in a row, and then work up to keeping the muscles contracted for 10 seconds at a time, relaxing for 10 seconds between contractions. Eventually, you should be aiming to do at least three sets of 10 Kegel exercises a day.

 

What birth control do you need? Even if you’re breast-feeding, sex after pregnancy requires a reliable method of birth control – unless you’re eager to go through childbirth again! Barrier methods such as condoms and spermicides are available over-the-counter and are safe to use at any time. Birth control methods that contain only the hormone progestin, such as the minipill or Mirena, a hormonal intrauterine device (IUD), are also OK to use immediately after childbirth, but any method that contains oestrogen – such as combined birth control pills or the vaginal ring – may increase your risk of blood clots. If you want to return to combined birth control pills or other types of combined hormonal birth control, it is recommended that you wait until six weeks after childbirth.

Categories: birth, Birth Control, Breast Feeding, combined birth, control, control pills, Kegel Exercises, Pain, pregnancy, sex after pregnancy, time