Researchers from the USA and Spain have found that the sexual health of husbands who help out with household chores may be at risk, as they tend to have less sex than men in so-called “traditional” marriages where housework is done exclusively by the wife. Reporting in the journal American Sociological Review, the authors added that in faithful relationships, the sexual wellness of the wife whose husband is involved in housework obviously also suffers, as clearly this means she has less sex too.
Previous studies have indicated that married men generally have more sex in exchange for doing housework, but these results were based on studies that did not take into account which chores the husbands did. According to the researchers of this study, who are all sociologists, sex is not a bargaining chip in marriage, but it is associated with the kinds of chores each partner completes.
Married couples had sex more often when women did the cooking, cleaning and shopping and the men did the gardening, electrics and plumbing, car maintenance and paid the bills. According to co-author Julie Brines, professor of sociology at the University of Washington, ‘The results show that gender still organises quite a bit of everyday life in marriage. In particular, it seems that the gender identities husbands and wives express through the chores they do also help structure sexual behaviour.’
However, if you think you can ditch the marigolds, sprawl out in front of the TV and still get lucky, think again. According to lead author, Sabino Kornrich, men should not assume from these findings that they should not become involved in traditionally female household tasks, such as shopping, cleaning or cooking. Kornrich warned that if you do this, the wellbeing of your marriage can suffer, as ‘men who refuse to help around the house could increase conflict in their marriage and lower their wives’ marital satisfaction.’
Brines, an expert in family and household dynamics, commented that it’s no surprise that there was more sex among the traditional couples. ‘If anything surprised us, it was how robust the connection was between a traditional division of housework and sexual frequency,’ she said. ‘Marriage today isn’t what it was 30 or 40 years ago, but there are some things that remain important. Sex and housework are still key aspects of sharing a life, and both are related to marital satisfaction and how spouses express their gender identity,’ she added.
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Husbands Who Share Housework Aren’t Rewarded in the Bedroom
