From psychological stress to the development of physically-harmful habits, divorce can wreak havoc on you health. However, an unhealthy marriage is equally damaging, so if you and your spouse do decide to separate, you need to make sure you do it right, and take care of your wellbeing in the process.
1. See change as an opportunity: It may be hard to see the bright side to divorce, but one silver lining is that it can be a great opportunity to begin new routines. You now have more time for you, your kids, your friends and your hobbies, as well as the ability to begin a new wellness programme. You could take up running, try yoga in the mornings, eat more healthy foods or even begin praying or meditating. This is a tricky time period, so choose pursuits that can help keep your mind and body healthy through it.
2. Tell your loved ones how you feel: You might not want to keep banging on about your problems, but you need to let it all out if you’re ever going to rebuild your emotional health. You don’t have to talk about your feelings with every family member or acquaintance to feel better (after all, some things are too private to post on Facebook). Still, you need to seek out close friends and family members whom you love and trust.
3. Seek out community support: While it is important to have the love and support of your family and friends, advice and consolation can be hard to take from people who haven’t been through it themselves. A lot of divorcees appreciate community groups made up of similar individuals, as it gives you a common purpose and reminds you that you’re not alone. Plus, it gives you a safe environment to let off steam to people who don’t know you or your ex. You might like to find a secular support network, but many religious groups also offer meetings for divorcees, so there’s something to suit everyone.
4. Be honest with your kids: You’re probably all too aware of how this change will affect your children’s wellbeing; divorce is hard on kids in terms of both short- and long-term wellness. This is why it’s absolutely crucial that you are 100% honest with them during this time, as well as after the transition. The circumstances of your divorce may determine how discrete you should be with regards to explaining the exact reasons you and your former spouse decided to separate. However, although it sounds like a cliche it’s important that you tell your children that the divorce has nothing to do with them, and everything to do with Mum and Dad. You should never neglect to tell your kids that they’re dearly loved and always will be, but this is especially important during this time. Finally, remember to keep your problems between you and your ex, and don’t try to get your kids to take side. Pitting your children against your ex will just damage their relationship with a parent, and cause them to lose respect for you over time.
5. Get your finances sorted: Spouses tend to divvy up the responsibilities, especially when it comes to financial wellness. If you don’t personally have a head for money and numbers, it’s time to educate yourself about the basics by looking online and talking to friends who know the score. Then, get your financial life sorted. You may have previously shared expenses with your spouse, and now that is obviously not an option. Taking the time to understand the financial implications of your divorce can be difficult, but it’s always worth the effort.
