We all love a good make out session, as it often leads to mind-blowing sex. However, you can sometimes forget how important kissing is to your sexual health. Once you’ve moved beyond kissing and onto, ahem, other things, you tend to focus on the more overtly sexual stuff as your goal. Yet kissing is a hotter form of foreplay than you realise, and can work wonders for your sexual wellbeing. Therefore, we’ve spoken to sex therapist Sonia Borg, PhD, author of Marathon Sex: Incredible Lovemaking Experiences Hotter and Longer Than You’ve Ever Done It Before and sexologist Jessica “Dr. Jess” O’Reilly, PhD, founder of sexwithdrjess.com, for their hottest tips for improving your kissing wellness.
1. Play with Your Positions: ‘How you angle your bodies affects the mood of your make-out sesh,’ say Borg and O’Reilly. ‘If you feel like being in charge, sit on his lap and wrap your legs around him so you’re kissing him from above. Want him to take the reins? Stand up so he towers over you (if he’s taller). A hot horizontal option is to kiss him while spooning—push your butt into his pelvis and grind against him.’
2. Sense His Breath: Though it sounds weird out of context, when you’re in the moment and you feel your partner’s breath on your mouth, there’s something very sensual about that. Borg and O’Reilly instruct, ‘Lightly brush your lips against his, letting the sensation of his exhales linger on your skin.’
3. Change Up Your Technique: Borg and O’Reilly note, ‘Changing up your technique builds excitement, so alternate between different mouth moves: Slide your tongue back and forth between his lips or against his gums. Swirl your tongue around his, then take his tongue into your mouth and suck on it the way you would his penis. Gently nibble his lower lip.’
4. Get in Sync: Borg and O’Reilly recommend, ‘For an incredibly soulful kiss, put your hand on your man’s heart and smooch in rhythm with his heartbeat.’
5. Get Your Hands in the Game: ‘Kissing isn’t just about the lips,’ Borg and O’Reilly point out. ‘Get creative with your hands, too. Seductively play with his fingers as though you were giving his digits a hand-job, passionately rub and grab at his inner thighs, or drag your fingers through his scalp and tug on his hair.’
6. Use Everything You’ve Got: Why stop at lips and hands, when you’ve got a whole body that can turn your partner on even more? ‘Pulsate your groin against his,’ Borg and O’Reilly advise. ‘Try straddling him, undoing a couple of his shirt buttons, and then pressing your breasts against his chest. Or stroke yourself in tandem with your kisses, so he can see you getting aroused.’
7. Don’t Knock Dry-Humping: ‘There’s a reason every teenager in the book does it,’ Borg and O’Reilly argue. ‘Simulating sex (and watching each other get off in the process) makes actually doing it way steamier. While making out, thrust your hips into his, or grind your way up and down his leg.’
8. Pay Attention to His Ears and Eyes: Tell your partner just how badly you want him, and what you’re about to do to him. Even just a moan can make things feel naughtier, but if you’re feeling adventurous, something along the lines of, “I want you to plow inside of me,” is practically guaranteed to make him blow his load. With his eyes, Borg and O’Reilly point out, ‘Couples often neglect to make eye contact while getting it on. It’s the quickest, easiest way to instantly intensify things.’
