As women, it can sometimes be difficult to take the lead in the bedroom. Many women feel as though it would be unfeminine to be assertive and initiate sex, but they couldn’t be further from the truth. There are a number of ways to make yourself heard in the bedroom and make your sex life more compatible with your needs – here are some of the ways to be a little more forthright with your partner and get the kind of sex life you’re looking for.
Be more creative with your ideas
Men are known for being more imaginative when it comes to sex, but that doesn’t mean that it is a true representation of what women are like in the bedroom. If your sex life has become a little routine, it’s easy to jazz it up a bit. It’s all about confidence. You need to tell your partner exactly what you want from sex, what you think is missing, and what you want to do about it. Expressing your sexuality isn’t a bad thing, it simply means you know what you want from your sex life and you’re making changes to ensure that you get it. Men often find it a turn on to find that their partner is being bolder and more assertive – it puts you both on more of an equal playing field where sex is concerned.
Be expressive
The best way to communicate effectively is to have a good understanding beforehand of what it is you want to say or do. Spend some time beforehand thinking about what you want from your sex life, such as more intimacy or passion, then what it is you’d want from your partner in order to achieve that. You need to be at ease with what you’re asking for before you speak to your partner about it. Being expressive isn’t limited to just your likes though – if there is an aspect of your sex life you aren’t happy with, or something your partner does which you don’t enjoy, tell them. Speaking about these issues is the only way to change them.
Give feedback
On that note, giving feedback is a great way of airing any issues between you both which have arisen in the bedroom. Men, in particular, are renowned for not being great at taking hints, so if you’re trying to be subtle its most likely failing. You don’t need to be rude or derogatory about their sexual style – a simple talk about what you both want more or less of is often quite effective. You can also use your body language to show them what you enjoy and don’t, so that they have a better understanding of how to please you.
Share your fantasies
Everyone has sexual fantasies, yet we very rarely share them with our partners. This can be a great bonding session to increase the intimacy between you both, as well as being a fantastic way of spicing up your relationship. Set the mood, perhaps by having a romantic evening together, then you’ll both feel relaxed to share your innermost sexual desires. You may even be inclined to act on some of them, helping to increase the bond between you and improve your sex life. This is a simple way to be more assertive and tell your partner exactly what you want from them out of your sex life, without feeling as though you have to do it on your own. By sharing together, you’re both as vulnerable as each other so the trust is equal.
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