How to Take the Lead and Be More Assertive With Sex

 

 

As women, it can sometimes be difficult to take the lead in the bedroom. Many women feel as though it would be unfeminine to be assertive and initiate sex, but they couldn’t be further from the truth. There are a number of ways to make yourself heard in the bedroom and make your sex life more compatible with your needs – here are some of the ways to be a little more forthright with your partner and get the kind of sex life you’re looking for.

 

Be more creative with your ideas

Men are known for being more imaginative when it comes to sex, but that doesn’t mean that it is a true representation of what women are like in the bedroom. If your sex life has become a little routine, it’s easy to jazz it up a bit. It’s all about confidence. You need to tell your partner exactly what you want from sex, what you think is missing, and what you want to do about it. Expressing your sexuality isn’t a bad thing, it simply means you know what you want from your sex life and you’re making changes to ensure that you get it. Men often find it a turn on to find that their partner is being bolder and more assertive – it puts you both on more of an equal playing field where sex is concerned.

Be expressive

The best way to communicate effectively is to have a good understanding beforehand of what it is you want to say or do. Spend some time beforehand thinking about what you want from your sex life, such as more intimacy or passion, then what it is you’d want from your partner in order to achieve that. You need to be at ease with what you’re asking for before you speak to your partner about it. Being expressive isn’t limited to just your likes though – if there is an aspect of your sex life you aren’t happy with, or something your partner does which you don’t enjoy, tell them. Speaking about these issues is the only way to change them.

Give feedback

On that note, giving feedback is a great way of airing any issues between you both which have arisen in the bedroom. Men, in particular, are renowned for not being great at taking hints, so if you’re trying to be subtle its most likely failing. You don’t need to be rude or derogatory about their sexual style – a simple talk about what you both want more or less of is often quite effective. You can also use your body language to show them what you enjoy and don’t, so that they have a better understanding of how to please you.

Share your fantasies

Everyone has sexual fantasies, yet we very rarely share them with our partners. This can be a great bonding session to increase the intimacy between you both, as well as being a fantastic way of spicing up your relationship. Set the mood, perhaps by having a romantic evening together, then you’ll both feel relaxed to share your innermost sexual desires. You may even be inclined to act on some of them, helping to increase the bond between you and improve your sex life. This is a simple way to be more assertive and tell your partner exactly what you want from them out of your sex life, without feeling as though you have to do it on your own. By sharing together, you’re both as vulnerable as each other so the trust is equal.

 

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Categories: assertive, bedroom, life, nbsp, partner, sex life

How to Take the Lead and Be More Assertive With Sex

 

 

As women, it can sometimes be difficult to take the lead in the bedroom. Many women feel as though it would be unfeminine to be assertive and initiate sex, but they couldn’t be further from the truth. There are a number of ways to make yourself heard in the bedroom and make your sex life more compatible with your needs – here are some of the ways to be a little more forthright with your partner and get the kind of sex life you’re looking for.

 

Be more creative with your ideas

Men are known for being more imaginative when it comes to sex, but that doesn’t mean that it is a true representation of what women are like in the bedroom. If your sex life has become a little routine, it’s easy to jazz it up a bit. It’s all about confidence. You need to tell your partner exactly what you want from sex, what you think is missing, and what you want to do about it. Expressing your sexuality isn’t a bad thing, it simply means you know what you want from your sex life and you’re making changes to ensure that you get it. Men often find it a turn on to find that their partner is being bolder and more assertive – it puts you both on more of an equal playing field where sex is concerned.

Be expressive

The best way to communicate effectively is to have a good understanding beforehand of what it is you want to say or do. Spend some time beforehand thinking about what you want from your sex life, such as more intimacy or passion, then what it is you’d want from your partner in order to achieve that. You need to be at ease with what you’re asking for before you speak to your partner about it. Being expressive isn’t limited to just your likes though – if there is an aspect of your sex life you aren’t happy with, or something your partner does which you don’t enjoy, tell them. Speaking about these issues is the only way to change them.

Give feedback

On that note, giving feedback is a great way of airing any issues between you both which have arisen in the bedroom. Men, in particular, are renowned for not being great at taking hints, so if you’re trying to be subtle its most likely failing. You don’t need to be rude or derogatory about their sexual style – a simple talk about what you both want more or less of is often quite effective. You can also use your body language to show them what you enjoy and don’t, so that they have a better understanding of how to please you.

Share your fantasies

Everyone has sexual fantasies, yet we very rarely share them with our partners. This can be a great bonding session to increase the intimacy between you both, as well as being a fantastic way of spicing up your relationship. Set the mood, perhaps by having a romantic evening together, then you’ll both feel relaxed to share your innermost sexual desires. You may even be inclined to act on some of them, helping to increase the bond between you and improve your sex life. This is a simple way to be more assertive and tell your partner exactly what you want from them out of your sex life, without feeling as though you have to do it on your own. By sharing together, you’re both as vulnerable as each other so the trust is equal.

 

The post How to Take the Lead and Be More Assertive With Sex appeared first on .

Categories: assertive, bedroom, life, nbsp, partner, sex life

How to Take the Lead and Be More Assertive With Sex

 

 

As women, it can sometimes be difficult to take the lead in the bedroom. Many women feel as though it would be unfeminine to be assertive and initiate sex, but they couldn’t be further from the truth. There are a number of ways to make yourself heard in the bedroom and make your sex life more compatible with your needs – here are some of the ways to be a little more forthright with your partner and get the kind of sex life you’re looking for.

 

Be more creative with your ideas

Men are known for being more imaginative when it comes to sex, but that doesn’t mean that it is a true representation of what women are like in the bedroom. If your sex life has become a little routine, it’s easy to jazz it up a bit. It’s all about confidence. You need to tell your partner exactly what you want from sex, what you think is missing, and what you want to do about it. Expressing your sexuality isn’t a bad thing, it simply means you know what you want from your sex life and you’re making changes to ensure that you get it. Men often find it a turn on to find that their partner is being bolder and more assertive – it puts you both on more of an equal playing field where sex is concerned.

Be expressive

The best way to communicate effectively is to have a good understanding beforehand of what it is you want to say or do. Spend some time beforehand thinking about what you want from your sex life, such as more intimacy or passion, then what it is you’d want from your partner in order to achieve that. You need to be at ease with what you’re asking for before you speak to your partner about it. Being expressive isn’t limited to just your likes though – if there is an aspect of your sex life you aren’t happy with, or something your partner does which you don’t enjoy, tell them. Speaking about these issues is the only way to change them.

Give feedback

On that note, giving feedback is a great way of airing any issues between you both which have arisen in the bedroom. Men, in particular, are renowned for not being great at taking hints, so if you’re trying to be subtle its most likely failing. You don’t need to be rude or derogatory about their sexual style – a simple talk about what you both want more or less of is often quite effective. You can also use your body language to show them what you enjoy and don’t, so that they have a better understanding of how to please you.

Share your fantasies

Everyone has sexual fantasies, yet we very rarely share them with our partners. This can be a great bonding session to increase the intimacy between you both, as well as being a fantastic way of spicing up your relationship. Set the mood, perhaps by having a romantic evening together, then you’ll both feel relaxed to share your innermost sexual desires. You may even be inclined to act on some of them, helping to increase the bond between you and improve your sex life. This is a simple way to be more assertive and tell your partner exactly what you want from them out of your sex life, without feeling as though you have to do it on your own. By sharing together, you’re both as vulnerable as each other so the trust is equal.

 

The post How to Take the Lead and Be More Assertive With Sex appeared first on .

Categories: assertive, bedroom, life, nbsp, partner, sex life

How to Take the Lead and Be More Assertive With Sex

 

 

As women, it can sometimes be difficult to take the lead in the bedroom. Many women feel as though it would be unfeminine to be assertive and initiate sex, but they couldn’t be further from the truth. There are a number of ways to make yourself heard in the bedroom and make your sex life more compatible with your needs – here are some of the ways to be a little more forthright with your partner and get the kind of sex life you’re looking for.

 

Be more creative with your ideas

Men are known for being more imaginative when it comes to sex, but that doesn’t mean that it is a true representation of what women are like in the bedroom. If your sex life has become a little routine, it’s easy to jazz it up a bit. It’s all about confidence. You need to tell your partner exactly what you want from sex, what you think is missing, and what you want to do about it. Expressing your sexuality isn’t a bad thing, it simply means you know what you want from your sex life and you’re making changes to ensure that you get it. Men often find it a turn on to find that their partner is being bolder and more assertive – it puts you both on more of an equal playing field where sex is concerned.

Be expressive

The best way to communicate effectively is to have a good understanding beforehand of what it is you want to say or do. Spend some time beforehand thinking about what you want from your sex life, such as more intimacy or passion, then what it is you’d want from your partner in order to achieve that. You need to be at ease with what you’re asking for before you speak to your partner about it. Being expressive isn’t limited to just your likes though – if there is an aspect of your sex life you aren’t happy with, or something your partner does which you don’t enjoy, tell them. Speaking about these issues is the only way to change them.

Give feedback

On that note, giving feedback is a great way of airing any issues between you both which have arisen in the bedroom. Men, in particular, are renowned for not being great at taking hints, so if you’re trying to be subtle its most likely failing. You don’t need to be rude or derogatory about their sexual style – a simple talk about what you both want more or less of is often quite effective. You can also use your body language to show them what you enjoy and don’t, so that they have a better understanding of how to please you.

Share your fantasies

Everyone has sexual fantasies, yet we very rarely share them with our partners. This can be a great bonding session to increase the intimacy between you both, as well as being a fantastic way of spicing up your relationship. Set the mood, perhaps by having a romantic evening together, then you’ll both feel relaxed to share your innermost sexual desires. You may even be inclined to act on some of them, helping to increase the bond between you and improve your sex life. This is a simple way to be more assertive and tell your partner exactly what you want from them out of your sex life, without feeling as though you have to do it on your own. By sharing together, you’re both as vulnerable as each other so the trust is equal.

 

The post How to Take the Lead and Be More Assertive With Sex appeared first on .

Categories: assertive, bedroom, life, nbsp, partner, sex life

How to Improve Disappointing Sex With Your Partner

 

 

There are many happily married couples out there, but how many of them are enjoying equally happy sex lives? Marriage is about far more than just sex, but there’s no denying that it does play an important role. If your sex life leaves a lot to be desired, it could end up putting a strain on other areas of your relationship – it’s the kind of thing that affairs are made of. There are several ways to improve your sex life though, without you needing to stray from the bonds of your marriage. The first one is simple – be honest.

If you aren’t enjoying the bedroom antics with your partner, you need to tell them and explain what it is that is not doing it for you. Nobody wants to hear that they are a lousy lover, and the number of people wanting to tell someone that kind of news is equally low. However, no-one can improve if they don’t know what they’re doing wrong. Lying to your partner about your sex life is only making the issue worse. Be open with them and explain that while you aren’t enjoying the sex at the moment, you are willing to work at it to improve and better your relationship. While they may be sad to hear it initially, the silver lining is that you’ve communicated it honestly and are willing to try and work things out. Try to soften the news with compliments and praise outside of the bedroom, so that they know you aren’t disappointed in every aspect of your marriage.

Be honest about what turns you on and explain this to them – perhaps you may want to share some fantasies together to get each other in the mood and broach the subject in a flirty way. If the way they kiss you doesn’t do it for you, tell them. Be honest if you’ve never been able to orgasm with them, or if something they do during sex really turns you off. It’s embarrassing, but no more so than lying to your partner about something as vital to a relationship as sex. Educate each other about how to turn each other on, so that you can both do a better job of making each other sexually satisfied. Criticism is only constructive when you offer advice and alternatives, so don’t tell your partner they’re a bad lover without offering ways they can improve.

You need to verbalise and show them exactly how to touch you and the ways that you want them to turn you on. Most importantly, during this early stage in the game, be supportive. It’s never easy to hear that something you’ve been doing for so long isn’t actually working. It’s vital that you express pleasure when they do something even slightly close to what you want, so that they know when they’re getting it right. It’s likely that at this stage they are dealing with a new set of insecurities on top of any they already have, so don’t make it worse by leaving them in the dark about what they’re doing. Maintain the intimacy between you and be sure to spend time together, romantically, outside of the bedroom too. Your relationship is about more than just what goes on in the bedroom, so don’t forget that. If all else fails, and you’ve given it time to try and work things out, there’s also professional help. There are many couples therapists available to help you work through any rough patches, so don’t be worried about speaking to someone if you’re finding things difficult.

 

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Categories: bedroom, disappointing sex, improve, improve disappointing, partner, relationship, sex life, work

Too Wired to Sleep?

 

Written by Jenny Catton

 

Creating a relaxing bedroom environment is one of the best ways to ensure a good night’s sleep. So whether it’s lavender oil on your pillow, comfy blankets or soft colours, it’s a good idea to make your bedroom a sensual and tranquil area.

 

However, many of us are ignoring one thing which could be spoiling our relaxed bedroom environment – electrical equipment. Whether you have a television, computer or simply an electric alarm clock in your bedroom, they may be giving off signals that could be disruptive to natural sleep patterns.

 

This is because electrical appliances create EMFs – electromagnetic fields – which may be harmful to health and have been linked to everything from cancer to depression. And because we spend a large chunk of our time in bed and it’s a place where we should be able to fully relax, it may make sense to try and reduce the number of EMFs in your bedroom.

 

Here are some things to try:

 

Replace Old Appliances

It’s thought that older appliances emit more EMFs than new ones so make sure yours are up-to-date.

 

Keep Your Distance

Make sure all electrical devices are at least 6 feet from where you sleep. In particular, don’t place electrical equipment close to your head.

 

Avoid Unnecessary Gadgets

Swap electric blankets for hot water bottles and keep computer equipment out of the bedroom.

 

Remember to Switch Off

Unplug devices when not in use.

 

Move the Charger

Keep telephone, razor, and toothbrush chargers in other rooms.

 

For more information about EMFs, visit: www.emfsafehome.com

 

 

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Categories: bedroom, bedroom environment, bedroom nbsp, Electrical, electrical equipment, emfs, nbsp, sleep

Is Your Bedroom Environment Causing Sleepless Nights?

 

Written by Jenny Catton

 

How did you sleep last night? Did you get a solid eight hours rest, or did you struggle to get to sleep, leaving you feeling exhausted the next day? Well, if you didn’t sleep as well as you hoped to, you’re not alone. According to research 25% of the UK population suffer from some form of sleep disorder and people are increasingly dissatisfied with the quality or quantity of their sleep.

Of course, getting enough sleep is vital for good health. A lack of good quality sleep can cause all manner of health problems from depression and irritability to weight gain and recurring colds.

If you’re struggling to get a good night’s rest – making some simple changes to your bedroom environment could make all the difference. A calm, restful environment is much more conducive to sleep than a cluttered, bright or noisy one. Here are some tips:

 

Easy on the Lighting
If your bedroom is too bright; it will be difficult to get to sleep and to stay asleep. In summer months, it may be worth investing in black-out blinds to keep the room dark enough. Also ensure that lights from clocks and electronic devices are out of sight.

 

Clear the Clutter
A messy bedroom can make it difficult to relax before going to sleep. Make sure your bedroom is as clean and uncluttered as possible.

 

Check Your Temperature
Make sure your bedroom is neither too hot nor too cold and deal with any annoying drafts.

 

Colour Consideration
Avoid bright colours or busy patterns in your bedroom and instead choose muted shades to create a cosy and restful environment.

 

For help and advice about sleep problems, visit: www.insomniacs.co.uk

 

Categories: bedroom, bedroom environment, environment, problems, quality, restful environment, sleep

Sexual Slump? How to Avoid These Boring Scenarios

 

A little slump in the bedroom department is perfectly normal, but seeing as sex is good for your wellbeing, why should you settle? You can bounce back from your sex life with these tips from wellness experts.

 

1. Waning Attraction: According to sexual health expert Nicole Yorio Jurick, ‘You’ve seen your husband on the toilet, wearing boxers and socks, and picking his nose too many times to count. That sort of routine stuff is enough to make you forget what about him so turned you on in the early days, so remind yourself—and him. Nothing brings back feelings of desire more than talking about what attracted you to your partner in the first place…Next time it’s just the two of you, reminisce about how you first met and what you think made you fall in love.’

 

2. Too Much Going On: Yorio Jurick notes, ‘Between work, kids, and your mile-long to-do list, sex is the last thing on your mind. While it may sound counterintuitive, you could find your libido spiked just by eyeing and fantasizing about a handsome stranger. Notice the barista’s cute smile or the biceps on the guy next to you at the gym.’ Barbara Keesling, PhD, the author of The Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl Sex, adds, ‘Checking out other men puts sex on the brain and gets you thinking about the next time you’ll get hot and heavy with your guy.’

 

3. Never in the Mood: ‘Sometimes we just have to do it to make ourselves ask, “Why haven’t I been having sex more often?”’ says clinical sexologist Sonia Borg, PhD, the author of Marathon Sex. ‘Think about it; have you ever regretted having an orgasm?’

 

4. Roommate Mode: ‘Conversations about kids, chores, and finances have made you feel more like housemates than lovers,’ Yorio Jurick explains. ‘One thing you likely didn’t do with your roommates? Make out—so lock lips to remind yourself of the basis of your relationship. The amount that couples passionately kiss often decreases as they settle in to long-term relationships…To regain those early relationship butterflies, kiss your guy for a full 10 seconds every time you walk in or out the door. His saliva transfers testosterone, which fuels your desire, and all that lip service releases oxytocin, which makes you feel more connected to each other.’

 

5. Bedroom Boredom: Yorio Jurick details, ‘After all these years, you can practically do a play-by-play of his moves before he makes them. To change things up, play a little game. Here’s how it works: Each of you is allowed three sex wishes that the other person must make come true…Tell your partner that over the next three months, each of you gets one wish per month that the other needs to grant (within limits, of course). Not only does this setup give you permission to try new and exciting things in the bedroom, it also gives you the opportunity to think about what would really turn you on.’

 

6. Opposing Schedules: Terri Orbuch, PhD, the author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great, warns, ‘Many couples think that they have to wait until their schedules naturally align, but that could mean waiting forever.’ Instead, Yorio Jurick recommends that you both ‘put sex on your calendar. It may sound unromantic, but scheduling a romantic rendezvous can build anticipation and make the main event hotter…Even scheduling a weekly sex session can give your love life a major boost—the more of it you have, the more you’ll want.’

 

Categories: Attraction, bedroom, hectic schedule, jurick, low libido, nbsp, time, yorio, yorio jurick

How to Improve Your Partner’s Performance in the Bedroom

When your man underperforms in the bedroom, you can be left wondering what to do. According to sexual health and wellness writer Holly C. Corbett, Talking about his bedroom problems can be incredibly awkward, but for the sake of your relationship—and for maximum personal pleasure—it’s worth it…Working through these situations will help you turn a mortifying moment into a mind-blowing sex life.’ So which of his little issues are impacting your sexual wellbeing, and how do you fix them?

 

1. He Comes Too Soon: Sex therapist Bill Bercaw, co-author of the upcoming From the Living Room to the Bedroom: The Modern Couple’s Guide to Sexual Abundance and Lasting Intimacy, explains, ‘His fear of coming too soon causes him to clench his pelvic muscles, which accelerates him toward the point of no return. The key to getting more in sync is to help him learn how to relax…Try experimenting with different positions to find the ones that make him last longer. Female on top is great for women because there’s direct clitoral stimulation, which most women need to orgasm, and you get to control the thrusting.’ Corbett adds, ‘Press pause on the thrusting action when he’s nearing his peak to give him a break as he keeps stimulating you with his fingers or tongue. Then start up again and keep pausing intercourse until you both are ready to finish. Not only will this help sex last longer, it will also help him develop more control over his ejaculatory response.’

 

2. His Size Kind of Does Matter: Corbett points out, ‘The average erect penis is between 5.1 and 5.8 inches long. If your guy comes up a little short, try doing it doggie style: It will make you feel fuller because his penis will be hitting your G-spot, and he can also stimulate your clitoris with his hand to help you get there.’ Ginger Bercaw, wife of Bill and the other co-author of From the Living Room to the Bedroom, suggests, ‘On your end, the vagina is a muscle that can be tightened to help increase your arousal, so try strengthening your pelvic floor by doing kegels.’

 

3. He Can’t Get (or Keep) It Up: ‘Many women feel inadequate or rejected when their man can’t get it up, but his erection or lack thereof is not about you,’ says Bill. ‘Tell him what you want him to do with you that does not require an erection. This demonstrates that having a satisfying sex life is not solely dependent on his erection, which could help shift his focus away from what his penis is doing.’

 

4. He Suffers Low Libido: Ginger asserts, ‘The best kept sex secret in America is male low desire. Women are ashamed to talk about it because they feel inadequate, and men also feel ashamed out of fear that they’re not keeping up with their lover’s expectations. Many of us think we shouldn’t have to talk about sex because we want it to work naturally, but talking about it is the only way to improve your sex life. Tell him you love making love to him and want to find a number or a range that you both can agree upon. Flexibility is key, so say you’re shooting for two to three times a week, with the lower number being the minimum of what you’re okay with and the max number being an excellent week.’

 

5. You’re Uncomfortable with His Sex Fantasy: Corbett comments, ‘Few things are more awkward than when your guy makes like Adam from HBO’s Girls and asks you to do kinky things, like pretending to be an underage girl. If he springs an idea that feels degrading or makes you uncomfortable, wait a second…Talking about fantasies before playing them out is key. Because it’s a risk to share what’s going on inside your head, that shared vulnerability can bring you closer. Of course talking doesn’t mean you have to play out the fantasy, but you may consider meeting in the middle.’

Categories: bedroom, corbett, Fantasies, feel inadequate, living room, low libido, nbsp, sex life, sexual performance, talking, Women

Sex School: What Does It Teach You?

Carrie Bradshaw did it, sexual researchers have done it, and now you can do it. ‘It’ refers to sex classes to improve your skills on everything from hand jobs to erotic massage. In today’s sexual revolution, grown-up sex education is becoming increasingly popular. They give you the chance to refine your technique and improve your skills in the bedroom for a better sex life overall. And it’s not just sexy singles opting for this form of education; couples are taking the leap at working on their sex life in a proactive way. These classes are popping up in major cities all over the place, and they’re causing quite a stir. People feel more confident when they’re informed, and there’s nowhere where that counts more than in the bedroom. Sex school could be the answer to every question you’ve ever had about sex, or even as just a way to stay abreast of the latest trends and tricks in sex. Learning about sex can also be embarrassing for people, so this creates a neutral and unbiased environment for your sexual education. But what are the best tips to take from this kind of class? We’ve compiled three of the best to begin your journey into the (not so) unknown.

Tap into all your senses

Exploring your partner and your own body sensually is important for pleasure in the bedroom. Try blindfolding yourself to take the emphasis off the visual, and then let them touch and talk to you while you’re blindfolded. You may find it useful to touch them with something other than your hand, such as a feather or a silk scarf. Becoming a sensory explorer and seeing your partner in a different way, and having them explore your body in more ways than just looking at it, makes for a more intimate and arousing experience. It’s important to take the importance off of looks and place it on other more sensory experiences, which is what sex boils down to after all.

Touch “everything but”

Imagine being incredibly aroused but not being able to act on your urges – the sexual tension would be through the roof. That’s what some of these classes teach – to do this deliberately and experience a heightened orgasm as a result of your efforts. Begin by touching everything except your partner’s genitals, starting with a feather-light touch and lightly touching parts of the body to heighten the sensitivity. Keep going until your partner can’t wait anymore, then move on to sex – you’ll be amazing by the reaction.

Use both hands

When you’re giving your partner a handjob, you shouldn’t be afraid to use both hands. Get your hands well lubed up and slippery, then experiment with different sensations such as using your palms to apply light but firm pressure, and stroking up and off in one swift motion then immediately sliding your palms downwards slowly. You want to mimic penetration as best you can. Try lubing up your hands and lightly gripping both hands around the penis, gently turning them in opposite directions as you slide them up and down. There are multiple ways to arouse your partner in this way; in fact, you shouldn’t be afraid to ask your partner what they like and then practice it with them.Take a little class of your own in your bedroom and talk about what turns each of you on, then act on it – it could be the best bit of education you’ve ever had!

Categories: Advice, bedroom, Couples, Education, hands, partner, Sex, sex life, sex school, sexual

Important Ways to Kickstart the Action in the Bedroom

Has your sex life become dull and boring? Perhaps it’s fine, but just no sexual spark or energy happening in the bedroom. Whatever the problem is, rest assured that there are lots of different tips and tricks that you can try to help restore your sexual wellness and wellbeing.

 

Repetition is never a good thing when it comes to sex – don’t stick to the same old tried and tested methods in the bedroom. In fact, don’t stick to the bedroom at all. If you normally  make love in bed at night time, throw a curve ball and try out the kitchen, the living room, the bathroom, or even a fancy hotel room somewhere else altogether! With your bodies in a new space, things will feel different and sex will feel more exciting.

 

Doing something dangerous together as a couple can also help to reinvigorate your sexual energy. Do something like canoeing or hiking, as these stimulate the hormone dopamine in your brain, which makes you feel more sexual.

 

If that all sounds too outgoing and daring for you, then you could try staying home – with a big bag of black liquorice. Studies have recently shown that this seemingly innocuous sweet treat can actually increase blood flow to the genitals but around 40 percent.

 

When you do make it to the bedroom, don’t stick to the same old erogenous zones either – try new ones. The old classics are good – and work well as part of the finale – but try exploring a region that you have not visited in a while, such as the back of the neck. There are dozens of nerve endings on sensitive areas such as this, which can really vamp up the sexual excitement.

 

You can try all of the above suggestions or just the ones that suit you best, but you are sure to find that they bring the thrill back to your sex life in no time.

Categories: action, bedroom, feel, nbsp, Sex, sex life, sexual, stick, track

How to Improve Disappointing Sex With Your Partner

There are many happily married couples out there, but how many of them are enjoying equally happy sex lives? Marriage is about far more than just sex, but there’s no denying that it does play an important role. If your sex life leaves a lot to be desired, it could end up putting a strain on other areas of your relationship – it’s the kind of thing that affairs are made of. There are several ways to improve your sex life though, without you needing to stray from the bonds of your marriage. The first one is simple – be honest.

If you aren’t enjoying the bedroom antics with your partner, you need to tell them and explain what it is that is not doing it for you. Nobody wants to hear that they are a lousy lover, and the number of people wanting to tell someone that kind of news is equally low. However, no-one can improve if they don’t know what they’re doing wrong. Lying to your partner about your sex life is only making the issue worse. Be open with them and explain that while you aren’t enjoying the sex at the moment, you are willing to work at it to improve and better your relationship. While they may be sad to hear it initially, the silver lining is that you’ve communicated it honestly and are willing to try and work things out. Try to soften the news with compliments and praise outside of the bedroom, so that they know you aren’t disappointed in every aspect of your marriage.

Be honest about what turns you on and explain this to them – perhaps you may want to share some fantasies together to get each other in the mood and broach the subject in a flirty way. If the way they kiss you doesn’t do it for you, tell them. Be honest if you’ve never been able to orgasm with them, or if something they do during sex really turns you off. It’s embarrassing, but no more so than lying to your partner about something as vital to a relationship as sex. Educate each other about how to turn each other on, so that you can both do a better job of making each other sexually satisfied. Criticism is only constructive when you offer advice and alternatives, so don’t tell your partner they’re a bad lover without offering ways they can improve.

You need to verbalise and show them exactly how to touch you and the ways that you want them to turn you on. Most importantly, during this early stage in the game, be supportive. It’s never easy to hear that something you’ve been doing for so long isn’t actually working. It’s vital that you express pleasure when they do something even slightly close to what you want, so that they know when they’re getting it right. It’s likely that at this stage they are dealing with a new set of insecurities on top of any they already have, so don’t make it worse by leaving them in the dark about what they’re doing. Maintain the intimacy between you and be sure to spend time together, romantically, outside of the bedroom too. Your relationship is about more than just what goes on in the bedroom, so don’t forget that. If all else fails, and you’ve given it time to try and work things out, there’s also professional help. There are many couples therapists available to help you work through any rough patches, so don’t be worried about speaking to someone if you’re finding things difficult.

Categories: bedroom, improve, partner, relationship, Sex, sex life, work

Talk Dirty to Me: Discussing Turn-Ons and Turn-Offs

As a nation, we may be more comfortable with seeing sex displayed in the media, but we still don’t like to talk about it. Communication is intrinsic to your sexual wellbeing, not to mention your relationship wellness! Not only is it important to cover sexual health issues like using contraception, you also need to talk to your partner about what you like and don’t like in the bedroom department. If you don’t discuss your turn-ons and turn-offs, things are never going to improve. Plus, believe it or not, talking about sex can, itself, be very sexy, and even enhance your relationship.

 

Talking about your turn-ons is a great way to get the sex conversation rolling. It can be tough to open up about the things you don’t like, or more boring-but-essential topics like protection and testing, so sharing sexy chat helps to get things started – and it could improve your experience of sex together. Many people seem to have the notion that everyone is the same when it comes to sex, but this simply isn’t true. Every individual has their own likes and dislikes in the bedroom, and it can take a long time – and a few mistakes – to figure out what works for you and your partner. If you’re committed to one another, no one is going to walk out when the other makes mistakes, and exploring and learning about each other is part of the fun. However, the problem comes when your partner continues to do something you don’t like, and you suffer in silence.

 

Your partner is not a mind-reader, and so may be going along for years thinking he’s getting you hot-and-heavy, when really you’re counting down the minutes until it’s over. In a similar vein, there may be something you’re dying to try, but your partner isn’t going to magically guess the things you want and start doing them. You can save a lot of time by just telling your partner what you want, and asking them if there’s anything they might like you to do. The best way to approach the conversation is to ask them about their turn-ons first, and then tell them something you’d be interested in trying. Just stick to one or two things during each conversation, as otherwise it could all get a bit much.

 

The good thing about opening up about your turn-ons in a conversation outside of the bedroom – rather than trying to get things going during sex – is that you can cover any worries you or your partner might have about the thing in question. Trying new things, although exciting, may be daunting, so talking about things beforehand will reassure you both about what will happen during sex and it’ll stay exciting. This may sound like a bit of a mood killer, but it’s actually quite the opposite! Instead of killing the romance of spontaneity, talking about sex can be quite a turn-on itself and a good way to get in the mood.

 

As well as talking about turn-ons outside of the bedroom, it’s better to talk about turn-offs before you start having sex than having to deal with them during sex. After all, would you like your partner to start criticising when you’re naked and vulnerable? Again, you may think this kills the romance, but even talking about your turn-offs can be quite saucy and a good laugh. Make sure you approach this subject from a place of love, non-judgement and good humour. Listing the things you both dislike may be hard to hear at first, but it will ultimately help you grow closer together – both in and out of the bedroom.

Categories: bedroom, Communication, nbsp, partner, talking, turn, turn-offs, turn-ons

Sustain The Passion In The Bedroom With These Tips

When a relationship is young, passion is something that comes easy. Because you don’t yet know all the details about your partner and there is still a lot of mystery between you, it is easy to be passionate and spontaneous. But as we get older and the relationship goes on for longer it is not uncommon for that lusty spark to fizzle and passion dissolves into the humdrum of routine. This is a shame because it doesn’t need to be that way and quite often people are still completely passionate about their partner – they have just forgotten how to show it.

 

So given that many people are still able to get passionate but need a little help in order to keep the spark in the bedroom, we’ve prepared a few tips for the worst things that you can do in the bedroom. The following list will show you the best ways to kill off the passion in your relationship and should definitely be avoided.

 

One – Avoid watching the TV in bed

Watching TV in bed is a way that will kill off passion very quickly. While it might seem like a good idea to get all cosy with your partner and watch the TV, it seems that actually this is a very bad thing for your sex life and keeping passion in the relationship. Research by an Italian sexologist even found that couples who have a TV in their bedroom have sex around half as much as couples who don’t. Also, certain programmes are known to be passion killers, especially violent shows and films. So definitely make the effort to avoid these and ideally avoid watching TV in your bedroom – it won’t do your passion levels any good at all.

 

Two – Don’t let the kids sleep in your bed

Some parents find that it is natural to sleep in the same bed as the baby early on in their life. While this may be a bonding session that means the baby is always close to you it can also grow into a habit and your child will want to sleep in the same bed as you as they get older. This means you can go for a long time where there is no real chance to have sex, because there is always a child in the bed with you. Make sure you get into the right habit early and get the child sleeping on their own as early as possible in their life – it will do your sex life wonders.

 

Three – Do not have bad breath in bed

Bad breath is one of the ultimate ways to kill passion stone dead. Even if your partner loves you very much, they won’t be turned on by you having bad breath. It is one thing that you definitely need to avoid if you want to keep the spark alive in your relationship. Regularly brush your teeth to keep your breath smelling fresh, but if you find that you still have an ongoing problem it might be worth going to the doctor about it as there may be ways they can help you.

 

Four – Avoid smoking before bed

Smoking is bad for you for a number of reasons and it is definitely something that is never sexy. As it was noted before bad breath is an unpleasant problem for keeping passion in the bedroom, and smoking will definitely worsen this. But that’s not the worst of it, you’ll also smell from the cigarette smoke and that is never a turn on in the bedroom.

Categories: avoid, avoid watching, bedroom, keeping passion, nbsp, passion, relationship, sex life, Smoking, watching tv

Bored of Your Bedroom Ambience? Feng Shui Can Do Wonders

Do you feel your bedroom needs a makeover? The bedroom is your personal area and has to give you the positive vibes. It should bring peace when you are back home. It is important that you pay detailed attention to the furniture, the layout and the colours you use in your private room.

 

Here’s providing some interesting Feng Shui tips that will bring the charm and make your bedroom a peaceful area to live in.

 

Make it clutter-free

First and foremost, you need to keep your bedroom clean. The books in the book rack, clothes in the closet and things should look neat and tidy. A messy room brings in unnecessary anxiety and thus can make you feel drained. If you have something on your mind that isn’t allowing you to sleep, keep a diary next to you bedside in order to note down the important stuff. This will enable your mind to free itself and take rest.

 

Call for the nature

It’s a known fact that looking at nature can give your mind peace and can also lower down the blood pressure. Pick a plant or a flower pot that you like and place it in your room; this will bring in positive thoughts. A beautiful scenic picture, a mini fountain or a fish tank can also be a good idea.

 

Pamper your senses

By pampering your bodily senses, you can feel fresh and free always. Opt for a nice aroma scent like lavender or rose for your bedroom. Aromatherapy too can be useful. You can also try adding an incredibly plush rug or a chenille throw.

 

Paired up things look good

Any item that you keep in your room can bring in harmony if it’s paired with something else, like a matching pair of lamps or picture frames.

 

Include a metal element

Metal elements bring in qualities of sharpness, clarity, efficiency and precision. A balanced metal presence in your room will allow you to live with clarity and lightness. Feng Shui element of metal should be placed in the north area of your room. The metal can be in the colours of grey and white.

 

Colours do the trick

Colour plays a huge role in Feng Shui. Different colours represent different energy. Each colour is an expression of five elements i.e. fire, earth, metal, wood and water. Each element is used in a specific part of the area as per the Feng shui map. Pick a colour according to the energy you want to flow in your room for any specific part of the room. Play with different colours to spice up the space. Any décor items that go well with the wall color will bring in the vibrancy. Don’t shy away from bright colours. Experiment with different things and place your furniture where it looks good like around a contrasting colored wall.

 

Your electronics

It is noted that the electromagnetic fields from televisions, wireless devices, computers etc. while off, can interfere with the brain and nervous system signals, disturbing your harmonious sleep. The machines can keep you up late night and spoil your body system. Hence choose wisely.

 

A well planned strategy

Move your bed facing opposite the door. Place it against a solid wall painted with your favourite colour. Lock the door before you go to sleep so that your pet doesn’t disturb you in the middle of the night. Choose your bed linen smartly, a circular design works well. Pick bed sheet colours that are soothing to the mind.

 

Soothing piece of furniture or art

Pick a few little things like a pottery barn or anything that brings a smile on your face. A photo frame of your loved ones can also do the wonders.

Categories: bedroom, bring, change, Colours, feng shui, metal, nbsp, room

How to Take the Lead and Be More Assertive With Sex

As women, it can sometimes be difficult to take the lead in the bedroom. Many women feel as though it would be unfeminine to be assertive and initiate sex, but they couldn’t be further from the truth. There are a number of ways to make yourself heard in the bedroom and make your sex life more compatible with your needs – here are some of the ways to be a little more forthright with your partner and get the kind of sex life you’re looking for.

 

Be more creative with your ideas

Men are known for being more imaginative when it comes to sex, but that doesn’t mean that it is a true representation of what women are like in the bedroom. If your sex life has become a little routine, it’s easy to jazz it up a bit. It’s all about confidence. You need to tell your partner exactly what you want from sex, what you think is missing, and what you want to do about it. Expressing your sexuality isn’t a bad thing, it simply means you know what you want from your sex life and you’re making changes to ensure that you get it. Men often find it a turn on to find that their partner is being bolder and more assertive – it puts you both on more of an equal playing field where sex is concerned.

Be expressive

The best way to communicate effectively is to have a good understanding beforehand of what it is you want to say or do. Spend some time beforehand thinking about what you want from your sex life, such as more intimacy or passion, then what it is you’d want from your partner in order to achieve that. You need to be at ease with what you’re asking for before you speak to your partner about it. Being expressive isn’t limited to just your likes though – if there is an aspect of your sex life you aren’t happy with, or something your partner does which you don’t enjoy, tell them. Speaking about these issues is the only way to change them.

Give feedback

On that note, giving feedback is a great way of airing any issues between you both which have arisen in the bedroom. Men, in particular, are renowned for not being great at taking hints, so if you’re trying to be subtle its most likely failing. You don’t need to be rude or derogatory about their sexual style – a simple talk about what you both want more or less of is often quite effective. You can also use your body language to show them what you enjoy and don’t, so that they have a better understanding of how to please you.

Share your fantasies

Everyone has sexual fantasies, yet we very rarely share them with our partners. This can be a great bonding session to increase the intimacy between you both, as well as being a fantastic way of spicing up your relationship. Set the mood, perhaps by having a romantic evening together, then you’ll both feel relaxed to share your innermost sexual desires. You may even be inclined to act on some of them, helping to increase the bond between you and improve your sex life. This is a simple way to be more assertive and tell your partner exactly what you want from them out of your sex life, without feeling as though you have to do it on your own. By sharing together, you’re both as vulnerable as each other so the trust is equal.

Categories: assertive, bedroom, confidence, life, partner, Relationships, Sex, sex life, share

Just Great Sex: Eight Sex Tips that Never Go Out of Style

Whenever you read about sexual health and wellness, the article or book in question always seems to be outlining a hot new position or even hotter new erogenous zone. However, sometimes all you need to give your sexual wellbeing a boost is to go back to basics. With that in mind, we turned to Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey, co-authors of six books on the topics of sex and love, including Sex: How to Do Everything and The Big Bang: Nerve’s Guide to the New Sexual Universe, for eight sex tips that have stood the test of time.

1. Take it slow: Think about it; would you rather your partner say ““More, harder, oh god, faster,” or “Whoa! Slow down there, cowboy.” Erring on the side of going slow is a much simpler and sexier thing to fix.

2. Provide positive reinforcement: ‘Your partners will welcome praise and feedback like Jessica Simpson would a good review,’ say Taylor and Sharkey. ‘Plus, it’s an easy way to dabble in dirty talk. If you can’t find the words, appreciative noises work just as well.’

3. Love and down-and-dirty sex are not incompatible: Just because you’re in a loving, committed relationship, doesn’t mean you can’t get wild and dirty with your partner. Taylor and Sharkey note, ‘The idea that marriage, monogamy or even good manners is the end of dirty, throw-me-against-the-wall, taboo-busting sex is a tired, old myth that you should debunk on a regular basis.’ However, before you try something adventurous with your partner or give them a money shot in the face, do ask their permission – that’s just good manners.

4. Let your imagination run wild: According to Taylor and Sharkey, ‘Talking and fantasising together about an orgy with your hottie mail carrier, your local news anchor, and Notre Dame’s co-ed cheerleading team is usually infinitely more exciting than a real orgy with your hairy, alcoholic, depressed neighbours. Include your partner in your fantasies when it’s appropriate.’ However, if you’re thinking about someone else while having sex with your partner, it’s probably not a good idea to mention this – unless they’re dressed up as that someone else!

5. Do unto others as you would have done unto you: Practicing reciprocity is only fair when you’re in a relationship, but, then again, you should not do unto to others with the expectation that they must do unto you in return. Still, Taylor and Sharkey warn, ‘You should assume that when your partner tickles your back, it is not just because they’re being nice, but because they would like you to tickle their back, too.’

6. Don’t tar all your partners with the same brush: If things aren’t too hot in the bedroom with your new partner, don’t assume that you can spice things up again using the same bag of tricks you’ve used with a previous partner. Everyone is different and likes different things in the bedroom department, so get to know what your partner likes, instead of arrogantly assuming you know it all.

7. Be honest about your likes: Just as you should get to know what your partner wants in the bedroom, it’s important that you tell them what you like too. However, Taylor and Sharkey add, ‘Don’t expect them to like it, too. There is a difference between having a preference and being a fascist.’

8. Don’t literally rip each others’ clothes off: According to Taylor and Sharkey, ‘Bodice ripping may be sexy in romance paperbacks, but it only works in real life when you’re confident the item of clothing is easily replaceable and not considered a luxury item by your partner.’

Categories: bedroom, dirty, healthy sex life, imagination, partner, sex tips, sharkey, slow, taylor

More Problems, More Solutions: Seven Sex Tips to Try

Your sexual health is affected by a number of factors and, while that can be infuriating when you come across problems in the bedroom, the fact that there are a number of factors at play in your sexual wellness means you have a whole load of solutions to try. If your sex life is on life support, try one, two or all of these sex-life-boosters – and have fun while you’re doing it!

1. Embrace the quickie: We all love a long and slow session in the bedroom, but there’s still something very appealing about a dirty, five-minute romp. Plus, in your busy schedule, there isn’t always time for a whole night of passion. So, when time is scarce, go for it in an unusual location – like the shower or kitchen – and you may find yourself more turned on than usual. If that doesn’t appeal, try to synchronise you schedule with your partner’s, so that there’s more time for sex.

2. Pay attention to your weight: If you and/or your partner are obese, the condition can alter the balance of your hormones, which may have a dampening effect on your sexual desire. Obese people often have clogged arteries, which can also contribute to conditions like erectile dysfunction. Fast food can add to clogged arteries, so try cutting out the chips and choosing healthier alternatives. Even if you lose just five pounds, you can absolutely jump-start your sex drive.

3. Run, Forrest, Run: As well as helping in your weight loss efforts, running benefits your sexual wellbeing in other ways. Running increases your circulation, which therefore enhances blood flow to your genitals. This makes sex more pleasurable for you and your mate, so lace up those running shoes! If running isn’t your thing, you’ll find the same benefits from any kind of cardiovascular activity, so why not try a new class? You can do it with your partner so that you both reap the benefits.

4. Phone it in: If you’re in a long distance relationship or one of you goes on a business trip, phone sex can help you to keep things steamy, even if you’re miles apart. Even if you live together your phone can help your sex life. Texting (or, as the cool kids call it, sexting) your partner dirty messages throughout the day can help get you both revved up for when you come home from work – just make sure your colleagues don’t read the messages over your shoulder!

5. Keep the fun alive: When you’re trying to get pregnant, sex often becomes more like hard work than anything else. Sure, you have a certain objective, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun getting there. Take the pressure off conception by making sex fun, and focusing on non-penetrative activities like massage and touch.

6. And, relax: Any kind of stress can make it hard to enjoy sex or conceive, so try setting aside a little more relaxation time with your partner to bring back the fireworks. A great way to do this is by doing yoga together. As with running, yoga helps to get your blood going, however, it also improves your flexibility and allows you to see each other in a whole new, ahem, light. Combined, these factors will lead to better sex.

7. Talk about it: As with any relationship issue, communication is key. You can feel a bit weird talking about sex but, if you want more passion or something new in the bedroom, you need to let your partner know or else they’ll never guess what you want! Some couples find that counselling can help them to talk about sex, and grow closer both in and out of the bedroom.

Categories: bedroom, Clogged Arteries, Communication, life, partner, relaxation, Running, sex life, time

How to Make Sure You Perform Well in the Bedroom

If you are a man, your sexual health and wellbeing is likely tied up in how you perceive your performance in the bedroom to be. For a man to experience good sexual and emotional wellness, he has to feel that he is doing all the right things to keep his partner happy. There are plenty of male enhancement supplements and pills on the market, but there are actually some far easier ways to keep an erection for longer, without having to pay a visit to the pharmacy.

 

Did you know, for example, that heart health is linked to sexual performance? It stands to reason, of course, because your penis functions on blood pressure. When your brain sends the signal to your penis to get an erection, the blood vessels in the genitals become engorged and of course it is the heart that pumps that blood. When there is a problem with heart function or blood pressure, this blood is not pumped as strongly and the penis can go limp too far ahead of time. It could even mean that you struggle to get a proper erection.

 

One of the best ways to achieve this is to stay active, as cardiovascular exercise will keep your heart strong and healthy and this will keep the blood pumping and flowing to every area of the body. Exercise that increases your heart rate and keeps it up (so to speak!) for a period of time is the best kind, and experts advise that you take 30 minutes per day of an exercise that makes your break into a sweat.

 

There are also some foods that are reputed to help with your sexual performance, by keeping the blood flow healthy. They include bananas, chillies and peppers, onions and garlic. In addition to these, any food that has omega-3 fatty acid is great for your heart, along with vitamin B1.

Categories: bedroom, Blood, blood pressure, exercise, heart, Man, performance, sexual, sexual performance