Sexual Slump? How to Avoid These Boring Scenarios

 

A little slump in the bedroom department is perfectly normal, but seeing as sex is good for your wellbeing, why should you settle? You can bounce back from your sex life with these tips from wellness experts.

 

1. Waning Attraction: According to sexual health expert Nicole Yorio Jurick, ‘You’ve seen your husband on the toilet, wearing boxers and socks, and picking his nose too many times to count. That sort of routine stuff is enough to make you forget what about him so turned you on in the early days, so remind yourself—and him. Nothing brings back feelings of desire more than talking about what attracted you to your partner in the first place…Next time it’s just the two of you, reminisce about how you first met and what you think made you fall in love.’

 

2. Too Much Going On: Yorio Jurick notes, ‘Between work, kids, and your mile-long to-do list, sex is the last thing on your mind. While it may sound counterintuitive, you could find your libido spiked just by eyeing and fantasizing about a handsome stranger. Notice the barista’s cute smile or the biceps on the guy next to you at the gym.’ Barbara Keesling, PhD, the author of The Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl Sex, adds, ‘Checking out other men puts sex on the brain and gets you thinking about the next time you’ll get hot and heavy with your guy.’

 

3. Never in the Mood: ‘Sometimes we just have to do it to make ourselves ask, “Why haven’t I been having sex more often?”’ says clinical sexologist Sonia Borg, PhD, the author of Marathon Sex. ‘Think about it; have you ever regretted having an orgasm?’

 

4. Roommate Mode: ‘Conversations about kids, chores, and finances have made you feel more like housemates than lovers,’ Yorio Jurick explains. ‘One thing you likely didn’t do with your roommates? Make out—so lock lips to remind yourself of the basis of your relationship. The amount that couples passionately kiss often decreases as they settle in to long-term relationships…To regain those early relationship butterflies, kiss your guy for a full 10 seconds every time you walk in or out the door. His saliva transfers testosterone, which fuels your desire, and all that lip service releases oxytocin, which makes you feel more connected to each other.’

 

5. Bedroom Boredom: Yorio Jurick details, ‘After all these years, you can practically do a play-by-play of his moves before he makes them. To change things up, play a little game. Here’s how it works: Each of you is allowed three sex wishes that the other person must make come true…Tell your partner that over the next three months, each of you gets one wish per month that the other needs to grant (within limits, of course). Not only does this setup give you permission to try new and exciting things in the bedroom, it also gives you the opportunity to think about what would really turn you on.’

 

6. Opposing Schedules: Terri Orbuch, PhD, the author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great, warns, ‘Many couples think that they have to wait until their schedules naturally align, but that could mean waiting forever.’ Instead, Yorio Jurick recommends that you both ‘put sex on your calendar. It may sound unromantic, but scheduling a romantic rendezvous can build anticipation and make the main event hotter…Even scheduling a weekly sex session can give your love life a major boost—the more of it you have, the more you’ll want.’

 

Categories: Attraction, bedroom, hectic schedule, jurick, low libido, nbsp, time, yorio, yorio jurick

Why Can Going on a Double Date Benefit Your Relationship?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, the sex can suffer. Not only does life get in the way of your libido, but a lack of intimacy can cause problems with your emotional health and wellbeing. However, a new study, appearing in the book Two Plus Two: Couples and Their Couple Friendships, has found that a double date could be the life-jacket you need if your relationship is on the rocks.

 

Group outings are generally believed to be less intimate than one-on-one dates, so why are double dates so beneficial to your relationship wellness? According to researchers from the University of Maryland School of Social Work, double dates act like an aphrodisiac by increasing your desire for your own partner. Researchers Kathleen Holtz Deal and Geoffrey L. Greif found that couples who plan romantic dates and are friends with other couples experience an intimacy boost in their own relationship, as this makes these couples more attracted to each other, and strengthens their relationships.

 

When you’re in a long-term relationship – the researchers explained – you tend to stop ‘keeping up appearances’ because they don’t see why it’s necessary to bring your ‘A game’. After all, you’ve both parties decided to love each other for better or for worse. However, having an attitude of bringing less than your best means that you may grow indifferent to one another, or you may feel irritated or upset by your partner for not making the effort. Yet, according to Pamela Madsen, a sex and intimacy coach and founder of the Back to the Body sensuous retreat for women, ‘On double dates, our energy’s higher, because we’re performing for the group.’

 

You try harder to be at your best in front of other couples because you have more people to appreciate your efforts – and not people who have to love you no matter what. Plus, double dates give you the opportunity to have a close look at another couple’s relationship, and to appreciate your relationship more. You can see how your friends do it, and learn the behaviours and communication strategies that work and don’t work. Madsen added, ‘Our partner sees our desirability through the eyes of other people [and vice versa]. It makes us more wanted, more exciting and more desirable to him or her.’

Categories: Attraction, Double Dates, Research

It’s Official: Men can’t Help Checking Out other Women

It’s a classic scenario: a man checks out another woman, and the woman he is with becomes angry with him for looking. It can lead to problems with emotional wellbeing and sexual health, as women feel that their man is liable to stray to another female, but now scientists have found that there may be a simple biological reason that men look at other women.

The study was carried out by researchers at the University of Glasgow and the University of Stirling and discovered that women are drawn to male faces that look familiar to them, whilst men are drawn to female faces that they have not seen before. This may be due to the way that men have evolved, to ensure that they achieve reproductive success. Men are biologically programmed to maintain the wellness of their genetic line by mating with as many different partners as possible. Thus, being drawn to unfamiliar faces could be a natural instinct, to ensure that men mate with women that they have not mated with before.

During the study, women were shown pictures of men’s faces, and had to rank them based on how attractive they seemed to them. It was discovered that the more times a woman saw a man’s face, the more attracted she became to him. Men who participated in the study were shown photos of women’s faces and they were asked to rank them on attractiveness. Unlike the women, men were found to rate women as less attractive when they saw them for the second time.

Participants included 83 women and 65 men. Researchers also found that men, like women, rated other men as more attractive the more times they saw them. This study seems to show that women find familiar faces trustworthy and, in turn, find this trustworthiness sexy. Men, however, find unfamiliarity sexy.

 

Categories: Attraction, looking, men

What is The First Thing That a Man Notices About a Woman?

Attraction is a normal, fun part of sexual health, but how much do you really know about it? When a man and a woman first meet, they will both instantly draw an impression about how attractive the other one is, based on a quick glance. You may have some stereotypical ideas about what they look for in the opposite gender, but you may be surprised to learn the result of a recent survey.

This survey indicated that a strong 89 percent of men notice women’s hair before anything else. If a woman has nice hair, they are more likely to be attracted to her, and if she is having a bad hair day they are more likely to write her off as unattractive. This may be due to the fact that lustrous hair reflects a good level of wellness and wellbeing, and, in primitive terms, men are biologically programmed to look for a healthy mate that will be able to bear children for him.

Over three quarters of men surveyed also said that they would compliment a woman on her hairstyle, whereas the remaining 13 percent of the group said that they would not compliment a woman on her hairstyle – but only because they did not know what the right thing to say would be!

Nearly a quarter of the women surveyed said that they expect men to make some kind of compliment about their hair, if they have spent a long time on the style. The remaining 71 percent said that they did not expect men to notice their hairstyle but were pleased if they did.

Men also revealed that the number one sexiest hairstyle was down and straight, with down and curly coming in in second place. Sophisticated hairstyles and ponytails took a back seat.

 

What is The First Thing That a Man Notices About a Woman?

Categories: Attraction, hair, sexual

Did you know that we’re all little liars when it comes to our romantic lives? Most of us don’t even know it either, we actually think we’re telling the truth and maybe consciously we are but at our subconscious and primal core we’re all about a very different thing. What am I talking about you ask? Why, what we go for in perspective partners of course. Many of us will say that looks aren’t as important as personality; we’ll tout our desire for an emotional connection and our partner needing to be good or intelligent but what we really want is a “hotty with a body”. It’s in-built and not something that we can control. Think about how many people end up with partners who’re nothing like them, the only thing they have in common is physical attraction and I’m telling you now it’s not always a bad thing. Sex is a cornerstone of a good romantic relationship; you’re never closer to your partner emotionally and of course physically than during intercourse and this can very easily supersede all other requirements. Ask yourself, would you rather be with a partner with whom the sex was terrible but the connection was good, or a partner with whom the sex was outstanding but the connection wasn’t really there? A relationship without sex is a friendship, and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. Scientists have been working to prove this very point through the use of a flash card type computer program which monitors subjects reaction to certain words and images. These reactions are subconscious and occur before we’ve had time to process the information and allow the researchers to get a good read on what we actually want in a partner. They found that what people say they want and what they actually go for tend to be two separate things and we’re often not even aware that we’re doing it! Little liars, all of us! Why we’re all little liars when it comes to romance

Did you know that we’re all little liars when it comes to our romantic lives? Most of us don’t even know it either, we actually think we’re telling the truth and maybe consciously we are but at our subconscious and primal core we’re all about a very different thing. What am I talking about you ask? Why, what we go for in perspective partners of course.

Many of us will say that looks aren’t as important as personality; we’ll tout our desire for an emotional connection and our partner needing to be good or intelligent but what we really want is a “hotty with a body”.  It’s in-built and not something that we can control. Think about how many people end up with partners who’re nothing like them, the only thing they have in common is physical attraction and I’m telling you now it’s not always a bad thing. Sex is a cornerstone of a good romantic relationship; you’re never closer to your partner emotionally and of course physically than during intercourse and this can very easily supersede all other requirements. Ask yourself, would you rather be with a partner with whom the sex was terrible but the connection was good, or a partner with whom the sex was outstanding but the connection wasn’t really there? A relationship without sex is a friendship, and there’s nothing wrong with that at all.

Scientists have been working to prove this very point through the use of a flash card type computer program which monitors subjects reaction to certain words and images. These reactions are subconscious and occur before we’ve had time to process the information and allow the researchers to get a good read on what we actually want in a partner.
They found that what people say they want and what they actually go for tend to be two separate things and we’re often not even aware that we’re doing it! Little liars, all of us!

Why we’re all little liars when it comes to romance

Categories: Attraction, Information, Romance

Ladies, or certain gentlemen, I’d like for you to picture your perfect man for me. Keep him in your head for a moment, drink in that perfection with your minds eyes and sigh just a little bit on the inside. Is he rugged and deep voiced? Chiselled and well-toned? Is he an Adonis whose handsomeness sets your heart aflutter? If you’ve nodded along to any of those questions then I’ve got some bad news for you, especially for the ladies, that man may not be all that you expect when it comes to fertility. That’s right, your perfect man may actually have a lower sperm count and as such be less fertile than a fellow with a higher pitched voice and non-chiselled but rather, “malleted” features. Researchers in Australia have conducted into voice pitch and attractiveness when compared to sperm count. It’s long been assumed that handsome and generally all around attractive men are more fertile as it’d make sense from an evolutionary standpoint. It would be logical for women to be biologically drawn to men with a more powerful fertility so as to ensure the continuance of our race. This is certainly true in the animal kingdom, the red deer with larger and more complex antlers (the factor which attracts lady-deer) tend to have larger testicles and as such be much more fertile than those with smaller antlers. The study involved male volunteers with voices from low to relatively high pitched (for men) being recorded making vowel sounds. They were then asked to give a semen sample which was tested for its sperm count and relative level of fertility. Ladies were then asked to rate the voices in terms of attractiveness and then in terms of masculinity. It was found that the voices which they found less attractive and less masculine had a higher sperm count on average than the more traditionally masculine and lower pitched voices! So, next time you’re out on the pull or trying to find the father of your future babies, think before you act! Mr Right might be Mr Average! Do ladies find infertile men more attractive?

Ladies, or certain gentlemen, I’d like for you to picture your perfect man for me. Keep him in your head for a moment, drink in that perfection with your minds eyes and sigh just a little bit on the inside. Is he rugged and deep voiced? Chiselled and well-toned? Is he an Adonis whose handsomeness sets your heart aflutter? If you’ve nodded along to any of those questions then I’ve got some bad news for you, especially for the ladies, that man may not be all that you expect when it comes to fertility. That’s right, your perfect man may actually have a lower sperm count and as such be less fertile than a fellow with a higher pitched voice and non-chiselled but rather, “malleted” features.

Researchers in Australia have conducted into voice pitch and attractiveness when compared to sperm count. It’s long been assumed that handsome and generally all around attractive men are more fertile as it’d make sense from an evolutionary standpoint. It would be logical for women to be biologically drawn to men with a more powerful fertility so as to ensure the continuance of our race. This is certainly true in the animal kingdom, the red deer with larger and more complex antlers (the factor which attracts lady-deer) tend to have larger testicles and as such be much more fertile than those with smaller antlers.

The study involved male volunteers with voices from low to relatively high pitched (for men) being recorded making vowel sounds. They were then asked to give a semen sample which was tested for its sperm count and relative level of fertility.

Ladies were then asked to rate the voices in terms of attractiveness and then in terms of masculinity. It was found that the voices which they found less attractive and less masculine had a higher sperm count on average than the more traditionally masculine and lower pitched voices!

So, next time you’re out on the pull or trying to find the father of your future babies, think before you act! Mr Right might be Mr Average!

Do ladies find infertile men more attractive?

Categories: Attraction, Infertility, Information