Does Positive Thinking Work?

 

Written by Jenny Catton

 

We’re used to everyone from television celebrities to self-help gurus endorsing the benefits of positive thinking. And thinking positively has been linked to everything from becoming successful in business to recovering from a serious illness. But does positive thinking actually work?

 

Yes – Sunita
I’m a firm believer in the power of positive thinking and have used the concept to achieve many great things in my life. When I was made redundant five years ago, I decided not to feel sorry for myself but instead saw the redundancy as an opportunity to change my life for the better. I wrote a list of the goals I wanted to achieve over the next five years and by using positive thinking techniques quickly began to see dramatic changes in my life. I now have a job that I love and have recently moved into my dream home.

The key to positive thinking is to think big – decide what you really want from life without worrying about how you are going to make it happen. For example, if you decided you wanted to be a lawyer but didn’t have the right qualifications it would be easy to think “oh, that will never happen”. But by thinking positively; spending time to clearly visualise yourself as a lawyer and really believing that it will happen, your subconscious mind takes over and finds a way to make your dreams a reality.

One of my goals was to own my own home but I didn’t know how I would be able to afford it. So rather than dwelling on the practicalities I used positive thinking to picture myself in my dream home. Shortly after that, I received a promotion at work which meant I could afford to save for the deposit on a new house. I believe this is all thanks to my positive thinking.

 

No – Andrew
To suggest that you can make things happen just by thinking positively is a load of rubbish. You can’t achieve anything in life just by wishing for it; you have to be practical and work hard to get what you want. There are lots of books and even courses that promise to teach people how to use positive thinking to get the life they dream of but I think these give people false hope and make people lazy. You can spend as much time as you like writing down goals and picturing a better life for yourself but unless you actually get on and take action, you won’t ever achieve the things you want to.

I think promoting positive thinking at the expense of common sense can also be harmful. For example, I’ve heard of cancer patients who have been told that if they use positive thinking techniques, they will get better. This might be useful for some but could be dangerous if it makes people believe they can ‘think themselves better’, rather than accepting the medical treatments that they need.

People who believe in positive thinking often say that being pessimistic won’t get results. But in life, you have to be realistic. If you want a new career, for example, it’s better to focus on the skills you already have rather than wishing you could be a film star or a model. It can be disheartening to constantly strive for the best things in life if they are unattainable.

Categories: catton, dream home, jenny, life, nbsp, people, positive, positive thinking, Thinking, thinking positively, thinking techniques, work nbsp, written

Getting the Balance: How to Be a Realistic Optimist at Work

When you think of work, “optimism” might not be the first word that comes to mind, but it plays a huge role in your corporate wellness, and overall wellbeing. In his book Learned Optimism, world renowned psychologist Martin Seligman notes that optimistic people:

 

• Are physically healthier and suffer less depression.


• Are persistent, resilient and get better results.


• Are not overwhelmed by adversity.


• Rebound quickly following defeats.


• Cope well with frustration, rejection and stress.


• Do not dwell on or punish themselves over failures.


• Maintain confidence and determination following setbacks.

 

However, Rachel Clements, BSc Hons, M Psych, MAPS, co-founder and Director of Psychological Services and Principal Organisational Psychologist at the Centre for Corporate Health, points out that a balance is needed between seeing the glass as half-full, and overfilling the glass with cheery expectations. According to Clements, being overly optimistic isn’t useful as ‘we may not see a potential problem, not take responsibility for things that we should or rely too much on wishful thinking. The extreme optimist may also view themselves as having no faults and brilliant in every respect. What we aim for instead is a level of “healthy optimism” where the “healthy optimist” is able to balance taking on too much or too little responsibility and balance being pessimistic and optimistic when it is useful, depending on the situation.’

 

So how do you achieve the right balance of optimism and pessimism?

 

1. Take up relaxing activities: Clements explains, ‘Undertaking activities such as regular exercise, yoga, pilates, mindfulness or mediation can provide us with a sense of space whereby we are not processing intellectual information so quickly, we are less distracted by the external world and we are able to tune in to our body and listen to what it is telling us. This assists us in moving our attention from our head to our heart. In making this shift we may be able to more easily detect how we are feeling and what we need to do get back on track.’

 

2. Be conscious of balancing your energy levels throughout the day: ‘If you have had a busy day with long hours and demanding work,’ Clements details. ‘Make sure you do something during the day (such as getting out of the office at lunch time, even if it’s for only 15-30 minutes) or doing something after work (such as exercise, meeting up with a friend or a going to bed early) to replenish your energy levels.’

 

3. Choose your words: Clements warns, ‘Be careful of perfectionistic self-talk such as when using phrases like “I must” or “I should” or “he has to” or “she needs to”. Ask yourself, are implicit expectations and inflexible rules dominating your thinking? How else could you frame your statements so that they are less emotionally charged (for example “I prefer” or “I choose” or “he could consider” or “she may like to know”).

 

4. Be realistic, but notice good things: ‘Learn to set realistic goals and recognise and celebrate your successes,’ Clements advises. ‘Become an expert on knowing what you can control and what you can’t. Save your energy for the things you can influence, such as how you go about your work, and learn to let go of the things you cannot control such as other people’s behaviour. Let’s face it, much of what we actually experience in life is outside of our control.’

 

5. Practise makes perfect: Clements recommends, ‘Practise optimistic thinking by making a conscious effort to think of one positive thing every time you find yourself focused on a negative thought or judgement. Or, keep a diary of the positive things that you did or that happened today, to help develop a broader thinking style.’

Categories: Balance, clements, energy levels, nbsp, optimism, realistic, Thinking, work

Why Your Self-Esteem Affects All Areas of Your Wellbeing

Low self-esteem is more than just a problem of emotional health; it influences all areas of your wellbeing. From your relationship wellness and family interactions to your job performance and physical health, low self-esteem can infiltrate your life and make it impossible to be the best version of yourself, so it’s vital that you build your self-esteem up so that you’re in a healthy place.

 

1. Identify conditions or situations that you find troubling.

Everyone has certain things they go through that give their confidence a knock, so take a look at those situations or conditions that seem to deflate your self-esteem. You might not cope well with business presentations, a crisis at work or in your home life, when you’re challenged by the people you love and/or work with, or when there’s a big change in your life, like losing your job or your child leaving home. Before you can overcome these obstacles, you first have to know what you’re up against.

 

2. Identify your patterns of thoughts and beliefs.

Working out the situations that trouble you is great, but you’ve still got a little more poking and prodding to do in your life yet – you also need to think about how you, well, think. What do you tell yourself when these situations arise? What do you interpret these situations to mean? You may have positive, negative or neutral thoughts about the situation, and they could be rational and fact-based or irrational thoughts steeped in a warped sense of reality.

 

3. Challenge negative or inaccurate thinking.

Once you’ve identified the common thought’s you have, you then need to challenge your negative thinking. Though your initial thoughts are personal to you, they might not be the only possible way to view the situation. Test the accuracy of your thoughts by asking yourself if these perceptions are indeed consistent with logic or facts, or whether they might be a more plausible explanation for the situation. Sometimes it’s hard to recognise inaccuracies in your thinking, especially if your though pattern has been ingrained for a long time. This is why it’s helpful to pay close attention to the ways of thinking that tend to erode self-esteem:

 

• All-or-nothing thinking – You think everything is good OR bad, with no grey area. For example, you see yourself as a failure if you don’t succeed in every minor task.


• Mental filtering – You don’t see the positive aspects, you only see and dwell on the negatives, which distorts your view of a person or situation.


• Conversion – You change positive things into negatives by insisting your achievements don’t count because they were too easy to achieve, anyone could have done the same etc.


• Jumping to negative conclusions – With very little evidence, you go from “My friend didn’t text me back” to “she must hate me.”


• Self put-downs – You put yourself down or use self-deprecating humour.

 

4. Adjust your thoughts and beliefs.

Now it’s time to eliminate inaccurate thoughts and replace them with accurate, constructive thoughts. You can do this using certain strategies:

 

• Use hopeful statements –  Pessimism can be a self-fulfilling prophecy so try telling yourself things such as, “Even though it’s tough, I can handle this situation.”


• Forgive yourself – When things go wrong, as they inevitably will (it is life, after all) make statements that assert your mistakes aren’t a permanent reflection on you as a person. Say, “I made a mistake, but that doesn’t make me a bad person.”


• Avoid ‘should’ and ‘must’ statements – You might be putting unreasonable demands on yourself.


• Encourage yourself – Give yourself credit for making positive changes. For example, “My presentation might not have been perfect, but my colleagues asked questions and remained engaged.”

Categories: esteem, life, Low Self-Esteem, nbsp, situation, stressful events, Thinking, Thought Patterns

Could Your Behaviour Cause the End of Your Marriage?

When you are struggling with a difficult time in your relationship, your mental and emotional wellness and wellbeing can be seriously affected. It can be hard to ‘see the wood for the trees’, as they say, meaning that from within the situation, it is often hard to accurately see what is going on, and fix it.

 

Most marriages and relationships go through tough times, but sometimes there can be elements that you are not aware of, and one of those elements is ‘distorted thinking’. This is a newly studied behaviour pattern that psychologists believe can damage, erode and destroy otherwise healthy relationships.

 

Distorted thinking basically means that your way of thinking about situations is not typical, and that you tend to see the worst in a situation. For example, you may blame your partner for every mess up and mistake that occurs. Responsibility should be taken two ways across a relationship, and when one partner sees the other as the reason for all of the problems, this is distorted thinking and it makes things much harder to fix.

 

Distorted thinking can also occur when one person in the partnership thinks that the feeling that their partner has for them is not as strong as the love they have for them. Consequently, they then feel that their partner is less invested in the relationship, and they display anxious or bitter behaviour. Love should not be measured by whose love is deepest or strongest – and this way of thinking can be highly damaging.

 

Jealously is also a form of distorted thinking, and can leave the jealous person feeling anxious and fearful. A distorted thinker may feel that every woman or man that their partner has contact with is in some way a sexual threat. They often can’t tell the difference between natural friendliness and a normal encounter with someone of the opposite sex.

Categories: distorted, distorted thinking, emotional, Marriage, nbsp, nbsp distorted, partner, relationship, Thinking

How to Banish the Negative Thoughts That You Have at Work

When you are at work, it is all too easy to drag yourself down with negative thoughts. Thinking ‘I hate my job’ or ‘I’m bored’ or ‘I never intended to end up in this field’ is normal, but this kind of thinking can drag you down and reduce your emotional wellness and wellbeing. Negative thoughts spiral and become a way of life, and this can eat away at you, reducing your chances of having a good working atmosphere or reaching career goals.

 

Complementary therapy can help you turn those minus signs into plus signs, and start seeing things in a brighter light. This can improve all areas of your life, as business success leads to improved lifestyle or career prospects, and confidence in the workplace can also translate to confidence at home.

 

First of all, you need to be mentally alert, and force yourself to become aware of the negative thoughts. Being conscious about what you are thinking will enable you to spot those little nagging negative voices and quell them as quickly as you can.

 

You do need to be patient with yourself though – not all negative thoughts are avoidable, and you will cause yourself undue stress if you attempt to never have a negative thought.

 

One good tactic for improving your mood and wellbeing is to become very aware of exactly what it is you are feeling. Identifying the feelings that lead to the negative thoughts can help to get at the root of the problems.

 

It may also sound like a cliché, but looking around at your life and appreciating the good things can also be very positive. Use this positive thinking during difficult moments to remind yourself why you want to and deserve to be positive. Keep telling yourself affirming thoughts, too, such as ‘I can do this’ and ‘I’ve succeeded at this before and I can succeed again’.

Categories: life, nbsp, negative, positive, Positivity, Thinking, thoughts

Quick, Active, Effective: The Benefits of CBT

When your wellness is affected by depression, lying on a sofa and going over every dream or childhood trauma you’ve ever had doesn’t appeal – especially if it’s going to be months or even years before you see any improvement to your wellbeing. Many people with depression take antidepressants, but coming off them can be scary as you don’t know if you’ll end up right back at square one. Luckily, there’s a complementary wellness therapy which may work for you.

 

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) includes a number of related talk therapy techniques which can offer a light at the end of the depression tunnel. According to several studies, the treatment is relatively fast and effective, but the effects of the treatment also have excellent longevity. CBT is based on the concept that, if you’re like many sufferers, your depression is cause by the negative way of thinking you have about the world and yourself, rather than any life circumstances or genetic reasons.

 

Therefore, the goal of CBT is simple; to teach you how to break out of that damaging thinking pattern. CBT does this by showing you how to recognise negative thoughts, test their validity, and replace them with more positive or realistic thoughts. According to the evidence, the benefits of the treatment often occur quickly, even being noticeable after one or two sessions. This is because you realise early on that your own negative thinking is the main culprit behind your depression.

 

If you’re thinking that CBT still sounds a lot like traditional talking therapy, here are three reasons why you’re wrong:

 

1. Time – Traditional talk therapy, or psychoanalysis, can last for years. CBT, on the other hands, lasts for an average of 16 sessions. In fact, your doctor will probably determine how long the therapy will take in advance, right at the beginning of the treatment.

 

2. Set Up – Instead of an hour in which you babble on about whatever memory or topic you like, CBT often involves a plan for each session. This includes a list of the specific techniques and goals you have to cover in that session.

 

3. Take Away – CBT gives you homework more than other forms of therapy, as it requires you to actively identify the triggers of your negative thinking and to “practice” alternative responses. You may be required to keep a thought journal, or even actively schedule a challenging situation for yourself.

Categories: Agenda, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), nbsp, negative thinking, Quick, talk therapy, therapy, Thinking

What Everyone Needs to Know about Positive Thinking

Would your mental and emotional health stand up if a challenge came your way right now? It’s true to say that difficulties occur for everybody at some point in their lives, and that how they handle them is a good indicator of their mental wellness and emotional wellbeing. When difficulties occur, it can be all too easy to start thinking negatively and letting things get you down. Instead, why not actively attempt to make yourself an optimistic thinker, so that you can be more ready for anything that life throws at you? After all, optimism benefits not only your mental health but your physical health, too.

 

Optimists tend to think about what the best possible outcome for a situation could be. For example, after an accident they may feel glad that they were not badly hurt, rather than dwelling on the damage to their car. Studies have shown that those who view the glass as ‘half full’ in this way are more likely to be healthy, have good careers and form successful relationships.

 

In addition to this, researchers have found optimism to be directly linked to lower rates of mortality and better immune function and heart health. Other studies suggest that breast cancer patients can improve their odds by being optimistic.

 

Despite all of these benefits, optimism is not easy. Some psychologists think it is possible to learn to be an optimist, whilst others insist that it is something that you are born with (or not). Some even argue that not being optimistic is a defence mechanism to avoid disappointment and letdowns!

 

To be an optimist, you need to work hard at finding the good in every situation. This will not always be easy. You can also try writing down at the end of the day a few good things that have happened during the day.

Categories: difficulties occur, easy, health, mental, nbsp, optimism, positive, Thinking

Shining Positivity into your Negative Corners

We all want to be the best at what we do. The Sherlock in our own brand of expertise – but there is always something stopping you, pulling you back.

From the tedious term “experience” to the deterring “impossibility”, there always seems to be a clause that you’ve missed or disregarded, but always seems to catch up on you. It’s funny however, that the majority of these words often come from yourself.

You’re your life’s biggest critic and ultimately, you can become your own downfall. It goes without saying however that negative thinking is a very serious, but incredibly human, habit that is difficult to kick down once it has made itself known.

It is easy to look in hindsight and think, “I wish that I had done this or that,” – but the truth is that this only holds us back, keeping us in the past, rather than jumping into the future. Of course, the problem then is finding the motivation to do so.

There are 3 ways of overcoming this problem. So, sit back, drink a hot beverage, gnaw on a biscuit and relax:

Ignore that Negative Thinking: It’s easier said than done, but for every negative thought, they are both misleading and untrue. Try to reverse them – experiment and play, as long as you break the cycle of breaking down your confidence. If those negative thoughts come to devour you, turn around and tell them, “Not today.”

Try Out New Things: In the space of 18 months, a man sat down and started drawing for nine hours every day. Each time he practised, the better that he became. It was an entirely new concept, full of possibilities – he is now a very popular artist – all because he attempted something different. The real path to success is not by studying the degree or getting the references, but by doing something that fires up your passion. It is quite common for a lot of people now to be unsure of who they are, what they want to be and why. All it takes is finding what you are truly good at. Take classes, read books, see films – find what grabs you the most within the material. Is it the graphics? The plots? Cookery? Science? The arts? What intrigues you? Find them – maybe your dream career is hiding under your nose.

Internalise the Positive, Use the Negative: Before, it was mentioned that you are your greatest critic. For artists, many take the criticisms as advice – what can you do better, how to improve on what you’re doing and more. Ignore the people that doubt you – reflect upon yourself, write down the negatives if you have to – but then find ways of reversing them.

Everyone makes mistakes – it’s a very human thing to do; but the fear of failure is what tends to drive people down. Believing that you can do something, against all odds, brings respect from your colleagues, the knowledge to survive – and more importantly, trust in yourself.

Shining Positivity into your Negative Corners

Categories: corporate wellness, critic, emotional, ignore, Mental Health, negative, negative thinking, people, positive thinking, Thinking, Wellbeing