Meeting your partner’s parents is an important landmark in any new relationship. However many people worry about this first meeting, concerned that they might say the wrong thing or not be accepted by their partner’s parents. But if your relationship has progressed to the stage where your partner would like you to introduce you to their family, then it suggests your relationship is more than just a casual fling and you won’t be able to put off meeting their family forever.
Here are some tips for ensuring the first meeting with your potential in-laws goes well.
Do Your Research
Ask your partner about their parent’s interests before you meet so that you can find things to talk about. Also remember to ask if there are any topics that should be avoided.
Venue Choice
Where you choose to meet is important. Perhaps you’ve been invited to their home which can be a good place to meet but a neutral bar or coffee shop can be more informal for the first meeting. You’ll probably want to avoid formal restaurants where the pressure to be on your best behaviour is intensified.
Keep it short
It’s often best to limit the first meeting to just an hour or two so that you don’t feel too stressed. Perhaps agree an escape plan with your partner so that you can make your excuses and go – for example, by saying that you have theatre tickets or dinner reservations.
Arrive together
Arriving with your partner (rather than meeting them there) can help put you at ease. If you have no choice but to arrive separately, ask your partner to be there a few minutes early so that you can avoid any awkwardness by arriving before your partner turns up.
Smile
Remember to smile. Even if you’re feeling nervous, a big smile will make people warm towards you. And remember even if the first meeting doesn’t go that well, there will be other chances to get to know your partner’s parents.
Dutch Courage
While a drink or two might calm your nerves before meeting the parents, try not to overdo it – particularly if you are meeting somewhere where more alcohol will be served. Check with your partner in advance whether their parents are big drinkers. If they aren’t, it might be wise to avoid getting tipsy as it will be more noticeable if they are sober. Remember you can always go for a drink with your partner later, if you feel you need one!
A United Front
It’s good to know in advance how your partner feels about you and what your long-term plans as a couple might be. Then if their parents ask probing questions about your future together, you can both give the same answers. It’s worth finding out if you are the first girlfriend or boyfriend to be introduced to the parents – or whether you are one in a long line. There is nothing worse than realising that you both have different views on the future of your relationship while in the company of their parents.
Above all, relax and enjoy yourself. You obviously get on well with your partner and so chances are you will like their parents too. And if not, it doesn’t have to spell the end of your relationship.
