How NOT to Use a Condom: 6 Ways You’re Doing it Wrong

 

While condoms are great for protecting your wellbeing against STIs, using them incorrectly means you’ll reap none of the sexual health benefits. We spoke to sexual wellness expert Tracy Wilson about the ways in which you’re using a condom wrong.

 

1. Get the Wrong Size: According to Wilson, ‘There are three big problems with using condoms that are too big, especially when they’re too wide. Ever worn a pair of shoes that’s just a shade too big and suffered the consequences later? Then you already know one of them – friction. Fortunately, blisters aren’t the problem here, but condoms can break when there’s too much friction. Since they don’t fit as snugly, too-big condoms can also leak. And, worst of all, a condom that’s too loose may come off completely during sex. Then, the whole scenario moves from protected to unprotected – and possibly very awkward and uncomfortable – in one fell swoop.Latex condoms are stretchy and should fit snugly, so, while it’s fine to comparison shop for a favourite, in most cases, standard sizes do the job.’

 

2. Storing it in the Wrong Place: Wilson notes, ‘Walking around with a wallet full of condoms isn’t smart. Especially if they’re in a back pocket, wallets are also home to friction, heat and pressure. All three make latex weaker, so wallet-stored condoms are some of the least reliable. This rule goes double for glove compartments (and anyplace else that’s subject to extreme temperatures). Just like candles, red wine and oral contraceptives, condoms should be stored in a cool, dry place.’

 

3. Using an Old Condom: ‘Condoms have expiration dates for a reason,’ Wilson explains. ‘Old latex becomes brittle, even if it’s been stored somewhere with much better climate control than a back pocket. First step: Check the date on the package. If it’s in the past, pitch it. Second step: Look at the condom itself. If it’s dried out, sticky or brittle, it’s too old to use. Throw it away.’

 

4. Tearing It Open:Wilson points out, ‘Latex is a good barrier against semen and pathogens, but not against teeth. Even if it’s not visibly punctured or torn, a bitten condom may still be damaged enough to break. Aside from all of those actual risks, lube can taste gross. Don’t look for anything sharp as a substitute for canines and incisors: Scissors, knives, long fingernails and basically anything else that’s sharper than fingertips are also on the “Do Not Use” list. It’s a little like that rule about not putting anything in your ear that’s smaller than your elbow. A run-of-the-mill condom wrapper has serrated edges to make it easier to open, and the foil or plastic material tears easily once it’s started. It’s a two-handed – but zero-toothed – operation.’

 

5. Putting it On Wrong: ‘Here are the right-way basics,’ Wilson advises. ‘Carefully remove the condom from the package and check for damage. Make sure it’s right-side up, with the tip of the condom poking up from the centre (not wrapping around from the outside). Squeeze the air out of the tip, leave about a thumb’s width of space, and place it on the penis (or toy, if that’s what’s being sheathed up in this scenario). Unroll it all the way down, squeezing out any air bubbles.’

 

6. Using the Wrong Lube: Wilson details, ‘Lots of rubbers are pre-lubricated to compensate for their annoyingly high coefficient of friction, but many people need (or want) things to be slipperier, or want a different lube than the ones that go on at the condom factory. But most of the slick substances likely to be around the house – like petroleum jelly or vegetable oil – don’t mix well with condoms. There are almost as many lubes to choose from as there are condoms, but water-soluble lubricants are the only ones that team up well with latex. Lubricants made with oil or petroleum products will weaken latex condoms, making them likelier to break.’

Categories: Condom, Condoms, latex, latex condoms, Lubricant, nbsp, wilson, wrong size

How to Make Sex with Your Partner Safer AND More Fun

With everything from genital herpes to hepatitis threatening your sexual health today, safer sex has never been more important. However, while you can make sex safer, an important distinction to make is that you cannot completely guard your wellbeing against the dangers of sex. That said, without abstaining, there are ways you can make sex safer from infections, sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and unplanned pregnancy. Still, that doesn’t mean that safe sex has to be less fun or feel less good than you’re used to. Let’s discuss how to make sex safer and still fun.

 

1. Use condoms: According to wellness writer Maria Trimarchi, ‘Condoms reduce the risk of transmitting sexually transmitted diseases, but no form of contraception can offer 100% protection. They reduce transmission of HIV by 85% and genital herpes by about 30%. Studies vary on how effective (or not so effective) condoms are at protecting you from syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia, but those studies do show that condoms offer some level of protection.’ So get out there and choose a condom that works for you! There are flavoured, coloured, ribbed and lubricated varieties, and you can even cut open condoms and use them as dental dams for safe oral sex with women.

 

2. Use a Lubricant: Trimarchi notes, ‘Wetter is better, especially when it comes to sex. Vaginal lubrication is key to sexual pleasure for both men and women, and sometimes there just isn’t enough. If sex is too dry, it can cause irritation and pain. Enter lube. Lubricant comes in a few forms: water-based, silicone-based and oil-based. Water- and silicone-based lubes are the best with condoms. Never use an oil-based lubricant with a condom – the oil will interact with the latex and cause it to break down. You can purchase lubricants in a variety of flavours, from spicy to sweet; there are options for the chocoholics out there, too. Some cause warming sensations, some make you tingle, and if you’re looking for an icy blast, pick up a cooling lube.’

 

3. Build the Anticipation: The things that lead up to sex can be just as exciting as intercourse, oral or anal sex. Trimarchi advises, ‘Use your seduction skills by leaving a sexy voicemail or text message for your partner, detailing what you have in store for him or her after work, or what you’d like to have done to you. Also, take the time to set the mood – both the mood of the room and your partner’s mood. Light candles or unwind with a massage. Take the time to enjoy your partner’s body by exploring and teasing – put an emphasis on foreplay.’

 

4. Try New Positions: Trimarchi asserts, ‘There’s nothing wrong with a favourite, go-to position that makes your toes curl, but there’s also nothing wrong with breaking out of your habit and spicing things up with a new position. Maybe not all of the 64 sexual activities described in the Kama Sutra are your taste, but something as simple as switching who gets to be on top (or side or behind) can increase pleasure and sensation. The angle of penetration that a new position may offer might just add to your enjoyment, and trying something new with your partner may increase your intimacy with each other.’

 

5. Get Out of the Bedroom: ‘Add a little bit of naughtiness to your sex life by trying out new locations for your sexual exploits,’ Trimarchi recommends. ‘In 2004, an ABC News “Primetime Live” poll found that 57% of Americans have had sex in a public place or outside, and 12% have had sex where they work…Whether it’s in the shower, on the couch or in a secluded but still public spot – make sure it’s secluded or risk an indecent exposure charge – sex can be more fun when you feel like you’re misbehaving.’

Categories: based, Condoms, genital herpes, Lubricant, nbsp, oil based, safe sex, sex safer, sexually transmitted, silicone based, transmitted diseases

8 Mistakes People Make When Using Condoms

The condom has done a lot for sexual health and wellness, not only protecting your wellbeing against unwanted pregnancies, but also sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Wellness writer Tracy V. Wilson, site director for HowStuffWorks.com, explains, ‘Condoms are cheap, easy to get and pretty good at their jobs…Male latex condoms, used consistently and correctly, are up to 94% effective at preventing the transmission of HIV and other STIs. And as long as they’re used consistently and correctly, they’re also up to 98% effective at preventing pregnancy.’ The key words Wilson uses are “consistently” and “correctly”. It’s incredible that, for such a simple piece of latex, so many people have found a plethora of ways to use a condom wrong.

 

1. The wrong size: According to Wilson, ‘There are three big problems with using condoms that are too big, especially when they’re too wide.’ The friction that occurs from too-wide condoms can cause the condom to break; the non-snug fit can cause the condom to leak; and – worst of all – a condom that’s too loose may come off completely during sex.

 

2. The wrong storage: While storing an emergency condom in your wallet is a good idea, this is not a good place to keep your whole stash. Wilson notes that wallets are ‘home to friction, heat and pressure. All three make latex weaker…This rule goes double for glove compartments (and anyplace else that’s subject to extreme temperatures).’ Always store your condoms in a cool, dry place.

 

3. The wrong date: You may not fancy stopping to check the expiration date on your condoms in the heat of the moment, but you’ll be glad that you did. ‘Condoms have expiration dates for a reason,’ Wilson warns. ‘Old latex becomes brittle, even if it’s been stored somewhere with much better climate control than a back pocket.’

 

4. The wrong opener: Using your teeth to open the condom packet seems cool and/or time-efficient, but you should NEVER do it. Wilson points out, ‘Even if it’s not visibly punctured or torn, a bitten condom may still be damaged enough to break…Scissors, knives, long fingernails and basically anything else that’s sharper than fingertips are also on the “Do Not Use” list.’

 

5. The wrong fix: Whether your condom breaks, is too tight or you put it on the wrong way, the worst thing to do is ignore it and keep going. The second worst thing is to flip it inside out and carry on. If something goes awry, just throw it away and get a new one.

 

6. The wrong lube: Wilson comments, ‘There are almost as many lubes to choose from as there are condoms, but water-soluble lubricants are the only ones that team up well with latex. Lubricants made with oil or petroleum products will weaken latex condoms, making them likelier to break.’

 

7. The wrong time: ‘Somewhere between 17 and 50% of people wait even later than the last possible minute, putting a condom on after starting sex,’ says Wilson. ‘That unprotected contact increases the risk of pregnancy and STI transmission. The right time to put a condom on is before sex, not during.’ Moreover, you shouldn’t wait too long before you take the condom off, as the rubber can go saggy as soon as the man does, meaning that semen can leak out of the condom. The man should remove his penis immediately after ejaculation, and remove the condom carefully to avoid spilling its contents.

 

8. The wrong recycling: Reusing condoms is an absolute no-no – I cannot stress this enough. It won’t work, it will be completely gross and it’s just not worth the bother. Throw it away, get a new one, every time.

Categories: Condom, Condoms, latex, latex condoms, Lubricant, nbsp, storage, wilson

How to Take Your Orgasms to a Whole New Level

Whether you’re yet to have one, or you can do it just by thinking about it, everyone could use some tips for having amazing orgasms. The female orgasm is becoming more and more a part of sexual health and wellness research and, luckily, we’re passing the findings on to you! So, if you want to give your wellbeing a little boost, try our tips for achieving the best orgasm you’ve ever had.

 

1. Toys and tools: Lengthening foreplay sessions with sex toys like vibrators can help to make your orgasm more intense – especially if you create anticipation. Patty Brisben, founder of PureRomance, notes, ‘When your mind is aroused, it’s much easier for your body to be stimulated.’

 

2. Lube: According to sexologist Shanna Katz, ‘For some reason women are reluctant to use lubrication. Natural lubrication is not an indication of how aroused you are and many factors can lower this lubrications, like birth control pills, antihistamines, and stress.’ Most sexual wellness experts will tell you to embrace the bottle of glycerin-free, water-based lubricant and just go for it. Brisben echoes, ‘There’s a misconception among people in their 20s and 30s that lubrication is only necessary when there is a problem that needs to be resolved, like vaginal dryness, that is connected to ageing. But that’s not true, lubrication is for any age. In fact, 65% of women have said that the use of lubrication has lead to incredible sex.’

 

3. Strengthening: Doing Kegel exercises strengthens your pelvic muscles. Lynn Wolfbrandt, product specialist for www.vibrators.com, explains, ‘Doing Kegels regularly will result in stronger contractions during orgasm.’ To locate the right muscles, stop your flow while peeing. The muscles that do these are the ones you need to contract, exhaling as you do so and inhaling when you release. The good thing about these exercises is that you can do them anytime, anywhere without anyone knowing, making Kegels just that little bit naughty. For the best results, do ten repetitions three times a day.

 

4. Heat: Although it’s an important variable in reaching the big O, temperature is often overlooked. However, relationship coach Dylan Thrasher points out, ‘A Danish study showed that women have 30% more probability of reaching orgasm is their feet are warm rather than cold. Although it’s very strange, putting socks on during sex will help you obtain more powerful orgasms or, better yet, try a foot massage using warming body oils to heat things up.’

 

5. Mental connection: ‘People say that the brain is the most important sexual orgasm and they’re right,’ Thrasher asserts. ‘It’s important to silence all those bothersome thoughts that interrupt intimacy.’ Moreover, a strong emotional connection can, in turn, strengthen your orgasms. Thrasher continues, ‘Having a strong connection with your partner strengthens the quality of the sex, specifically orgasms. A woman should feel appreciated, desired, understood and accepted by her partner.’

 

6. Spices: Getting down to business straightaway can seem like a passionate way to have sex, but there’s something to be said for delayed gratification, especially if you prepare your nerve endings by playing a game with your senses. Katz says, ‘Be it with a fragrance oil massage or some spanking, playing with the senses can arouse some people more than an hour of oral sex. Consider using blindfolds, feathers, satin, skin and candles to create a sensorial game as foreplay.’

 

7. Fake it: Just to clarify, you don’t need to fake an orgasm; you simply need to pretend you know what you’re doing. Katz comments, ‘The more confidence you have, the sexier you will be, and the more sexy, the more you and your partner will enjoy it. So if you’re not sure about trying a new move or position, or trying something completely new, remember to breathe and go for it as if it was the best thing in the world.’

Categories: Kegel Exercises, Lubricant, lubrication, nbsp, orgasm, Orgasms, Sex Toys, Women

Fertility Familiarity: Five Facts You Need to Know

You think that conceiving a baby is going to be easy; after all, enough happy accidents occur these days that you should get knocked up as soon as you go off the pill, right? In actual fact, fertility is a big sexual health issue, not because it’s all-too easy to conceive, but actually because we humans are worse of in terms of fertility wellness than we think. According to Medica IVF’s Dr David Knight, ‘If you are between 18 and 34 and you and your partner are generally healthy, doctors say more often than not some simple problems – with easy fixes –may be standing in your way.’ Unfortunately, myths and old wives tales can get in the way of you falling pregnant, as well as your sense of wellbeing when you don’t conceive, so let’s take a look at the facts about fertility:

 

1. When to have sex: You don’t necessarily need to have sex on the day you ovulate. In fact, this may decrease your chances of conceiving as waiting until ovulation means you bypass your most fertile time. Once you’ve ovulated, your egg is only viable for the next 24 hours. Moreover, sperm can live in your reproductive tract for 3-4 days, so having sex two to three times a week means that when you do ovulate there will be sperm waiting! Dr Knight notes, ‘I tell my patients to have regular intercourse, meaning two to three times a week generally starting after your period stops. Specifically I encourage couples NOT to monitor ovulation or use temperature graphs.’

 

2. It’s never too much: When you’re trying to conceive, don’t worry about having too much sex. Research has shown that having sex every day makes you slightly more likely to conceive than if you had sex every other day – it’s simple maths really. However, don’t put sex on a schedule, as experts warn that this can actually lower your chances of conception. Data suggests that love making on a schedule has a negative effect on your hormones.

 

3. How position affects conception: Most people believe that the position you use affect conception. The theory goes that lying on your back for 20 minutes after having sex ensures that the sperm stays in the neck of your uterus for longer. However, regardless of the position you take, if you have sex sufficient sperm are deposited in the neck of the womb and are able to begin their journey towards the egg. Position is irrelevant, as is staying on your back.

 

4. Saving up sperm doesn’t improve potency: The testicles produce millions of sperm every day, which are stored in a tiny sac at the top of each testicle known as the epididymis. Abstaining from sex in order to accumulate a giant sperm load will not up your chances of conception. In fact, storing up sperm may mean the old stuff is of an inferior quality and may even hinder the newly produced, healthier sperm from reaching the egg.

 

5. Lubricant does more harm than good: You might try lube to help sperm slip, slide and get inside but not only is this ineffectual, it could actually prevent you from getting pregnant. Dr Knight explains that most lubricants change the pH or acid balance inside the vagina, which can affect the motility of sperm and ultimately prevent or reduce your chances of conception. If you still find you need to use a lubricant, avoid petroleum jelly like the plague. Instead, use natural vegetable products, such as olive oil, as these are far less likely to cause any serious problems for the sperm.

Categories: chances, conceive, conception, dr knight, Fertility, Lubricant, nbsp, positions, sperm

The Big Finish: How to Have More Amazing Orgasms

When it comes to your sexual health, you can get a bit obsessed with “the orgasm.” Still, while it’s true that sexual wellness is about more than reaching an end goal, that doesn’t mean if you have trouble climaxing that you should simply go without. I mean, your wellbeing doesn’t depend on an orgasm, but they’re still pretty enjoyable! Knowing more about the elusive Big O can help to unlock the path to reaching it, so let’s see if you can finish your bedroom experience with a bang.

 

First and foremost, if you don’t feel aroused, you won’t have an orgasm. This is a simple fact that can really change how you approach orgasms. Arousal begins in the section of your brain where your sense of smell intersects with your emotions, memory and sexuality. Therefore, triggering this limbic area with stirring smells can kick-start the arousal process throughout your body, which eventually leads to orgasm. The olfactory scents that turn you on may be different to what other people like. Napoleon was known to request his wife not to wash for a week before he came home, whereas a friend of mine loves the smell of men’s aftershave so much she sprays it on her pillow! Whatever does it for you, find a way to sniff it out more often.

 

It may seem like stating the obvious, but another important aspect of arousal is movement. A lot of people tense up and stop moving around during sexual activity, but you need to get those hips moving. You can also experiment with moving all of your limbs, rolling your neck and stretching into new positions to trigger points of arousal you never even knew about. It might be helpful to try strengthening your core as part of your exercise routine, as the ability to hold onto someone you love from the inside will make you feel both strong and sexy.

 

As you’re probably aware from any sex scene in any film ever, people express their arousal through breathing. When you’re aroused, do you tend towards long and slow breaths or do you experience short, fast inhalations? How does your breathing impact your connection to your body, your partner and your orgasmic possibilities? If the answer is “not much,” perhaps changing your breathing pattern can transform your sexual experience. With your partner, try to synchronise your breathing and movement. Although it’s a simple step, refocusing your breathing to come together will deepen your connection to each other, as well as expanding your idea of orgasm.

 

While communication and working with your partner is a key part of reaching orgasm, doing your own solo experiments can help you learn about your body without embarrassment or reservation. When you know the sensations and build-up that lead you to the point of no return, try pulling back and introducing a different form of touch or breath before you try to reach it again. If you struggle climaxing, you may be desperate to reach that point for fear that you won’t have another opportunity, but the longer you wait to surrender to your orgasm, the more power and energy you build up and eventually release. Not only does this enrich your experience with know-how you can pass on to your partner, but it makes each orgasm all the sweeter.

 

Finally, a small application of great, clean lubricant can get you aroused and orgasming in no time, as your body expresses arousal messages as genital secretions. Lubricant isn’t only great for painless friction and more time to experiment; it also helps to trick your brain into feeling aroused if you’re not naturally producing lubricant yourself (which a third of women struggle with).

Categories: arousal, aroused, Breathing, Lubricant, nbsp, orgasm, Orgasms

Could Using Lubricant Help to Improve Your Sex Life?

One of the best kept secrets of the sex industry is lubricant. This slippery substance can really improve your wellness in the bedroom in terms of your enjoyment and confidence, which can be a great boost to your sexual health and wellbeing.

 

Whether you are using a sex toy on your own or having full intercourse with a partner, lubricant can make a really positive difference to the sensual experience.

 

Most lubricants are made with a water, petroleum or silicone base but the exact formulas can vary. When you are looking to choose a lubricant, you should look for something that is light and clean and that isn’t too oily or sticky. Also, if you are using a sex toy that is made from silicone, then don’t use a lubricant that has a silicone base. It’s also very important that when you use condoms, you steer clear of anything oily and stick to a lubricant with a water base, as some lubricants can weaken the structure of condoms and lead to them breaking. Steer clear of anything that isn’t a proper lubricant, like Vaseline and baby oil.

 

A water-based lubricant can also be easier to clean up afterwards, as all you have to do is rinse off any toys used with warm water, whereas silicone-based lube is harder to wash off (but this can make it a great choice for using if you plan to have sex in water.

 

Lubricants are a fantastic way of enhancing your sexual experience, because they make sex more sensual and more comfortable. In addition to this, there are many lubricants on the market which bring additional benefits, such as those that make the area tingling or warm, and there is even one called Utopia which contains and amino acid known as L’argine, which can promote blood flow and increase sensitivity.

Categories: lube, Lubricant, lubricants, nbsp, Sex, sex toy, silicone, silicone base, steer clear, Water

Could Sexual Lubricants Be Doing More Harm than Good?

Lubrication isn’t only a vital part of sexual health and wellness, but of all aspects of wellbeing. In any relationship where working parts are at play, whether it is an engine, a dinner party or an evening of love, everything works better when it is “well oiled.” It’s the kind of thing you don’t even notice or think about when it’s working well, but when lubrication fails, you know it immediately; without oil an engine locks up in minutes.

 

There are many reasons why you may lack lubrication during intimacy; ageing, childbearing, nursing and even common medications like anti-histamines and anti-depressants often contribute to vaginal dryness and pain during sex. Out of this, your sex drive can suffer as natural lubrication is a primary signal of arousal. Your early sexual memories, which often include moments of vaginal wetness, are stored deep within your body, but finding the right lubrication can help to trigger those libido-boosting memories.

 

There are a whole host of lubricants on the market, but over 95% of OTC and adult lubricants are made with petrochemical ingredients. This includes propylene glycol, which is used in such products as anti-freeze, brake fluid, laxatives and oven cleaner. According to Wendy Strgar, founder of Good Clean Love, ‘When I first began making lubricants and learning about the petrochemical ingredients that were my competition and were making me sick, I thought that my burning reactions was due to a sensitivity or allergy that was exacerbated by other issues like vaginal dryness or pain with sex.’

 

Strgar explains, ‘The petrochemical lubricants that dominate the market are damaging the genital and rectal tissue they intended to protect. The problem is a bio-physics issue, not an allergic sensitivity. Human skin tissue cells weigh around 300 isomoles, whereas KY warming jelly’s cellular weight was 30 times that of skin cells. Hyperosmolar lubricants literally squeeze human tissue cells to death. The warming sensation you feel is actually the skin cells shriveling up and falling off the tissue, causing small tears and compromising the natural immune functions of the genital walls.’ However, many brands of organic and all-natural products are entering the market to replace the dangerously toxic effects of bad chemistry, so read your lubricant labels carefully and take note of your body’s adverse reactions.

Categories: chemicals, libido, Lubricant