10 Guilty Pleasures for Hopelessly Boring Couples

When you’re young, you’re desperate to try new things – especially when it comes to your sexual wellness. But once you grow up, get married, have kids etc. you can start pining for those teenage favourites, like soppy, cheesy and uber-romantic dates. Family wellness expert Chaunie Brusie, author of Tiny Blue Lines: Reclaiming Your Life and Preparing For Your Baby, details, ‘When my husband and I were dating, one of our favourite things to do was take a late-night walk around our college campus and hit up the local convenience store for our respective favourite pints of ice cream…Now, officially “grown up,” with a house, a mortgage, careers, kids, and even a fourth baby on the way, it seems like those carefree, ice cream-eating days of dating of old are gone forever. But I was inspired…to create my own list of guilty pleasures for couples, even this hopelessly boring one.’ Why not try one of Brusie’s guilty pleasures on your next date night?

 

1. Late Night Ice Cream Sessions: ‘Because obviously,’ states Brusie. ‘Did you really think this wouldn’t make the list? Bonus points for enjoying your ice cream accompanied by a cheesy movie and/or anywhere outside.’

 

2. Watching The Sunrise Under a Cosy Blanket: According to Brusie, there’s no limit to ‘how beautiful this guilty pleasure can be. If you have to play hooky from work together to make this one happen, all the more romantic.’

 

3. Staying Up All Night Together: ‘I’m not talking about staying up all night together because you have no choice with small, screaming children,’ says Brusie. ‘I’m talking about staying up all night just for fun, and indulge in some crazy, cheesy, calorie-ridden meal because nothing tastes better in the middle of the night.’

 

4. Couples’ Massages: Brusie asks, ‘Need I say more? There’s always the DIY option if your budget does not approve.’

 

5. Sleeping Alone…To Start With: According to Brusie, ‘Maybe this is just a phenomenon of the long-married, but there’s something that makes sleeping alone in your marital bed that feels gloriously guilty. Maybe your husband is out on the town for a boys’ night, or maybe you’re sipping cocktails for a bachelorette party, but starting out alone then slipping underneath the covers can certainly spice things up a bit.’

 

6. Cookie Dough: Brusie asserts, ‘Salmonella warnings, be damned. Heat up the kitchen by mixing up a batch of homemade cookies — and feeding each other the dough. Somehow, I love cookie dough more than the cookies.’

 

7. A Late Night On the Town: ‘I’m going to let my parenting side show here,’ Brusie admits. ‘But is there anything more reckless than a night of drinking with your man when you know you don’t have to get up with kids the next day? Call me crazy, but I can’t properly enjoy a night out if I know I have a morning in the next day. Babysitter + booze = night made.’

 

8. Shameless Netflix Marathons: Brusie points out, ‘We’ve all been there. But if you and your man can get on board with the same show? It’s a match made in sitcom heaven. My husband and I so rarely agree on TV shows, me being more Call The Midwife and he being all Star Trek every season that I don’t even count this one as guilty.’

 

9. Browsing Dream House Plans Together: ‘So you’ll never really be able to build that 4,000-square-foot home with the pool and swim-up bar,’ Brusie allows. ‘But it never hurts to look and dream together, right?’

 

10. Making Out in the Car: Brusie comments, ‘Don’t believe me? Give it a whirl, even if you’re just stopped in the grocery store parking lot. I’m not sure why this can be so exciting, but I guess we can all just be thankful that we are cheap dates these days.’

Categories: brusie, cookie dough, date night, guilty, guilty pleasures, ice cream, late night, long-term relationship, making plans, nbsp, night, night nbsp

Marriage: How to Strengthen and Deepen Your Bond

As the saying goes, families begin because two people fall in love. Therefore, family wellness first begins with a healthy and happy relationship, but how do you give your marriage a spring clean? While some couples believe they need to go on a romantic getaway to rekindle that flame, there are actually small, simple secrets to helping you bond with your partner, and boosting your wellbeing in the process.

 

1. Send him love texts: Wellness writer Holly Corbett, co-creator of LostGirlsWorld.com, notes, ‘When we focus on something, we tend to see it show up more often. So try sending him a text every day this month that acknowledges something you appreciate about him, such as “I love that you get me peanut M&Ms when I have PMS.”’ This certainly worked for Orna Walters, who co-founded Creating Love on Purpose, a relationship coaching service, with her husband, Matthew. ‘My husband did a text appreciation month for me after he forgot to get me a Valentine’s Day card one year, and I was surprised that he found something new to write every single day,’ Walters recalls. ‘It made me feel so cherished.’

 

2. Hang Up Old Pictures: According to Corbett, ‘Research confirms that experiences rather than things increase your happiness levels, and recounting shared moments in your relationship can also boost marital satisfaction. Gather pictures of your favourite times together — such as the camping trip you took sans kids or his surprise 35th birthday party — and place your new collection somewhere he will see it as a happy reminder.’

 

3. Look at the Glass as Half-Full: It’s more fun to be around positive people, especially if you’re married to that person. Brian G. Ogolsky, PhD, assistant professor at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, recently co-authored a study in which, of the most important strategies for overall relationship satisfaction, positivity landed at the top of the list. ‘Our research shows that there are concrete, small moves you can do in your daily life to make your partner like being around you more, and feel more committed to the relationship,’ he says. ‘In terms of relationships, positivity really means those little fun, romantic gestures.’

 

4. Open Up More: You have to create space for openness if you want your relationship to deepen and thrive. Dr. Ogolsky points out, ‘We give as much as we get in terms of disclosure. The more open you are, the more likely your partner is to open up. It leads to deeper conversations and connection.’ After work, carve out time to greet your partner with a glass of wine and see what you end up chatting about.

 

5. Do Chores as a Team: While the most efficient way to clean up the house may be to divide and conquer, doing household chores together can provide a huge boost to your relationship. This is because you’re spending more time together, and can see each other working on this home that you both care about. In fact, Dr. Ogolsky’s research found that taking part in shared tasks was another top-five relationship booster. He explains, ‘It doesn’t mean that you have to vacuum the floor together, but simultaneously doing the chores that keep your household functioning, such as washing the dishes while he fixes the stove, reminds you both that you are working together as a team.’

 

6. Create a Relationship Bucket List: Dreaming and making plans together strengthens your bond, as it reinforces the idea that you’ll be together forever. Dr. Ogolsky comments, ‘You’re effectively boosting commitment by creating a shared future with your partner.’ So whether you want to travel around South America or own your own business one day, start dreaming!

Categories: dr ogolsky, making plans, nbsp, ogolsky, openness, partner, relationship, Research, strong marriage