Losing a child can cause deep grief and sorrow. It gets very difficult for most of the parents to get back to their normal life, post a shocking death, especially of an infant. It is indeed the most devastating experience of your life and can cause a lot of mental stress. But things cannot be reversed. Life must go on and you have to make peace with yourself. No one can take your baby’s place but you need to ask yourself if this hampering your personal life and relationships. Look around yourself, is your spouse doing well? Have you spoken to them about what you are going through mentally? Are you having too many questions in your mind?
Why is no one talking about my baby’s death? What do I do?
It is necessary that you speak up about the tragedy. Nothing can be changed but you got to take care of your health. Speak to your close ones about all that you had planned for you little angel. Cry it out. Find support outside your house. Meet parents who have faced a similar situation and share your thoughts with them. Try to understand how they are coping up with the loss. You can meet them directly or you can also look out for websites on the same topic. Meeting a professional councellor will also help you recover.
How do I make others understand what I am going through, emotionally?
Have a conversation with your near and dear ones who understand you. Let them know about your feelings and thoughts. Your family and friends will lend you the support you need the most right now. Avoid getting into an argument with anyone. If you feel a specific family member does not understand what you are experiencing then avoid having a fight. You can explain them that whatever you are going through, is very difficult for you to make them understand.
If in your case, you continued the pregnancy term knowing that the baby might not survive, or discontinued a life support system for you ill child, don’t be judgmental about it. Don’t be harsh on yourself for taking the heart wrenching decision; it’s not your fault. If anyone else in the family does not understand the intensity of the situation, let them know what you have faced so far. A councellor’s advice would be a great help in situations like these.
I’m emotionally on a roller coaster ride. Am I normal?
A have faced a huge loss in your life. You might be experiencing multiple feelings from anger to guilt. There are hundred questions unanswered. Many parents have memorial service for their late child. You can hold a funeral; assemble all the things that are connected to your baby – favourite toy, a blanket, photographs etc. Remember that you have to leave the trauma behind and look forward to new things in life. All that you are going through is normal but temporary. These emotions cant stay with you forever. Pay attention to your health. Follow a healthy diet and an exercise routine daily. Engage your mind in things that will take of the load, maybe for a little while. Stay around family and friends.
How do I go on with my life? The future is not what I thought.
Certainly you are unable to indulge yourself in any other things besides thinking about why this happened to you. As time will pass by, you need to find solace in different things. Don’t ignore the world. You have to learn to live your life again. When you feel you are ready, participate in family activities and get socially involved in something that will give you peace.
