When your wellbeing is affected by a low libido, you can feel like you’re the only one, or that something is wrong with you. However, according to sexual health and wellness expert Celia Shatzman, ‘If you’ve lost that frisky feeling, you’re not alone. Research shows that nearly a third of women and 15% of men lack the desire to have sex regularly. But there are things you can do to put the sizzle back into your sex life.’ So, which lifestyle changes can give your sex drive a boost?
1. Plan More Date Nights: ‘If a fun Saturday night with your hubby means watching Showtime in sweatpants, it could be killing your sex drive,’ warns Shatzman. ‘Rekindle your romance by getting out of the house for an old-fashioned date. Your dates don’t need to be grand romantic evenings; just going to the movies or out to dinner can reignite the spark you felt when you first met.’ Leah Millheiser, MD, director of the Female Sexual Medicine Programme at Stanford Hospital & Clinics, suggests, ‘If it’s too expensive to hire a nanny, ask your friends with kids to watch yours for the night and offer to return the favour.’
2. Choose a Different Birth Control Pill: ‘Hormonal changes take a big toll on your sex drive,’ Shatzman notes. ‘Birth control pills can be one of the biggest perpetrators: they can reduce your body’s production of testosterone, and in turn, your desire to get down. Certain varieties may even cause pain during sex. And even if you’re not on birth control, being aware of your hormonal status can help you dial in your libido. Prolactin, the nursing hormone, decreases estrogen and testosterone in breastfeeding women, which can wreak hormonal havoc. Additionally…menopause can bring a decrease in testosterone and estradiol, a type of oestrogen.’
3. Check Your Other Meds, Too: Shatzman instructs, ‘Take a look at your medicine cabinet—your prescriptions could be behind your lower libido. Aside from birth control pills, common offenders include drugs for high blood pressure, gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), anxiety, and depression.’ Dr. Millheiser advises, ‘If a medication is the most likely culprit, discuss your concern with the prescribing doctor. It’s possible that another treatment may be used with fewer side effects.’
4. Divide Household Chores Equally: Dr. Millheiser points out, ‘After the kids go to bed, there’s often cleanup followed by work that you’ve brought home. As a result, intimacy gets pushed to the background.’ Shatzman comments, ‘If you and your partner are both working full-time, keeping the division of household labour equal and ensuring one partner doesn’t shoulder the whole burden will make both of you happier in the bedroom and out.’
5. Set Your Room Up for Romance: ‘It’s easy to get in the habit of letting your kids crawl into bed with you after they’ve had a bad dream, or sharing cuddle time with your cat or dog,’ allows Shatzman. ‘These are major mood killers. [Keep] the kiddos and pets out by simply locking the bedroom door at night. It may take some time to break these habits, but making the bed sexy again will make you more relaxed and ready for romance.’
6. Add Sex to Your To-Do List: Shatzman asks, ‘We schedule doctor’s appointments, work meetings, and drinks with friends—so why not sex? It’s not the most romantic approach, but setting aside a specific time with your significant other means you’re making a commitment to having an active sex life. This way, you’ll feel compelled to keep the appointment and be less likely to make excuses.’
