Having sex again after you’ve had a baby can be a concern for a lot of women, as there are many fears about what the experience will be like. According to sexual health and wellness expert Macki West, founder of Cool Mom Tips, there’s ‘no need to fret, most of us are scared to dive back in [to sex]. Some common thoughts are: Will my vagina feel loose? Will it hurt? I feel gross and unattractive. Being touched is the last thing I want right now. All of these thoughts are all totally normal.’ That said, while it’s normal to have such thoughts, some of them are unfounded. There are many myths surrounding sex after pregnancy, so let’s debunk a few of them:
1. Your Vagina Will Be Loose: ‘No it won’t,’ says West. ‘Your partner will not be “tossing a hot dog down a hallway”. If that were the case then there would never be kid number two. My husband is honest with me and I straight up asked him if there was a difference. He told me I feel just as tight, but that women actually feel differently all the time, from one sexual encounter to the next. I trust my husband and since he keeps coming back for more, I know I’m just fine down there.’
2. You’ve Had A C-section So Sex Won’t Hurt: West asserts, ‘That’s a flat out lie. Ok, I’ve never had a C-section, but plenty of my friends have and they have experienced just as much if not more discomfort post baby.’
3. You Don’t Need Birth Control: West advises, ‘Unless you want to have your babies very, very close together, you do need birth control, even if you are breastfeeding. You will ovulate BEFORE your first period so it could be too late before you decide to use a contraceptive. Talk with your doctor before giving birth about your birth control options. If you are breastfeeding your options are limited to condoms, IUD, or mini pill. Another myth is that you won’t get your period while you are breastfeeding. I did with my first two kids and I’m just waiting for the old period to rear it’s ugly head this time around.’
4. You’ll Be as Dry as the Sahara: Unfortunately, there’s some truth to this one. West explains, ‘Your hormones are all wacked and your oestrogen levels are low which means there’s less natural lubrication in your vagina. Make sure to have lots of foreplay, read: oral sex or use a store bought lubricant. If you are not comfortable buying lubricant, just get some online.’
5. Sex Won’t Be as Good as it was Before: ‘Some women actually have more intense orgasms post baby,’ says West. ‘It’s true. It has been known that some women have sex within a week of giving birth and enjoy it immensely. I’m not one of them and I don’t feel badly about it one bit. It takes me a few months to get back into enjoying it and that’s OK. Once the baby is sleeping through the night you will have the opportunity to get your sexy back.’
6. Touching is Too Much: ‘Many women feel over-touched,’ West admits. ‘Oh yes, we do. Just the other night my husband decided to “enjoy” my breasts. He may have enjoyed it, but I had to stop him and gently tell him that I’ve got my fill of breast touching and nipple sucking. He laughed and totally understood and moved on to something we would both enjoy. With all this baby holding and breastfeeding and intimacy with your baby, sometimes it’s hard to turn that off and turn on the sexual intimacy. Or you are just touched out and would prefer to be in bed with no human contact, I’ve had those nights.’
