There aren’t many things that affect your mental wellness more than being naked in front of someone else. You’ve got no clever clothes to distract or hide the bits you don’t like, which means another person is going to see everything. Not only does this have an impact on your emotional wellbeing, but also your sexual health. After all, how often are you going to want to get intimate with your partner if you know they’re going to see you completely naked? If you’re insecure about how you look naked, even the smallest comment can result in a psychological detonation and a devastated evening (not to mention a lot of confusion), so how do you get comfortable in (nothing but) your own skin?
1. Walk around naked: Before you can feel comfortable with yourself, you need to feel comfortable with yourself. Although this is easier said than done, making yourself get naked more often can help to get you started. Whenever you have the house to yourself, strip off and walk around naked. Try looking at yourself in the mirror as though you’re not looking at yourself, but someone else for the first time. If this image of nakedness was presented before you in the bedroom, would you turn it down? Of course not. When there’s a naked person willing to have sex with you, who cares if they have a bit of cellulite, one breast or testicle that’s lower than the other, or a bit of hair in an odd place? You don’t need to be Ryan Gosling or Scarlett Johansson to be sexually desirable – in real life, even they don’t look like Ryan Gosling or Scarlett Johansson! The fact is that someone wants to have sex with you, just as you are, so take pride in that and leave the lights on; confidence is sexy.
2. Get to know yourself better: It’s perfectly normal to masturbate, whether you’re male or female, and it also has the added bonus of teaching you what makes you feel good. Knowing thyself in the carnal sense helps you to can better guide someone who wants to please you, so get exploring!
3. Talk to your doctor: Sexual insecurities can sometimes stem from a medical problem, so talking to a medical health professional about it might help. If sex is painful for you, for example, someone can talk you through it, give you advice and might be able to fix it. Don’t keep schtum just because your problem is a bit weird; any health care professional has pretty much heard it all. Other problems that you should talk to your doctor about include unusual discharge or smell, or if you’re having trouble getting erect, having an orgasm or staying lubricated.
4. Sort out your priorities: Let’s just sort this out now; it’s a myth that all men want sex all the time, and that what all women truly desire is someone who lasts for hours. It’s common to worry about your sexual performance, whether you’re a woman who worries she takes too long to orgasm – or that you won’t be able to – or you’re a man who’s concerned that he’ll ejaculate too quickly or not get hard enough. No one’s denying that orgasms are great, but making that the only focus of a sexual experience means that you are missing out on a lot of other things, and shredding your nerves from all that pressure. Sexual mishaps happen, whether you can’t get it up, can’t orgasm or you do it all far too quickly. Maybe you’re not comfortable with the person, maybe you have other stuff going on in your mind, or maybe you’re both drunk. Regardless, there’s more to sex than those few seconds, so focus on each other.
