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Showing posts with label sexual. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexual. Show all posts
Sex not only helps decrease stress levels and burn away calories, but boosts your intelligence too!
Love-making proved to greatly increase the creation of new neurons located within the hippocampus – an area of the brain that is responsible for the formation of long-term memory, say researchers.
‘We discovered that even though there had been the production of new neurons, the cognitive abilities acquired during the experiment decreased once the mice were subjected to long periods without sexual activity,’ psychologists from the University of Maryland in the US were quoted as saying. Read more about reasons why your sex life may have fizzled out.
Increased sexual activity floods an individual’s brain cells with oxygen, they noted. Another study by Konkuk University in Seoul, South Korea, provided further substantial evidence. According to the Korean study, sex increases intellectual functions. Sexual activity buffers the creation of neurons in the hippocampal region of the brain, which acts against detrimental functions caused by extreme stress. Older couples that are more sexually active have less odds of getting dementia which is due to a variation of complicated reasons, said a report in Glamour magazine.
Other health benefits of sex
Besides making you intelligent, sex has some other health benefits too that you probably didn’t know about.
1. Makes you look younger
Yes! Believe it or not, sex can make you look younger. According to a study conducted by Dr David Weeks of Royal Edinburgh Hospital, people who had sex more than 4 times a week, felt as much as 10 years younger. Besides having sex, you can do the following things to look younger.
2. Boosts your immunity
While eating fruits and vegetables are known to boost your immunity, having sex can have a similar effect. A research conducted at Wilkes University, Pennsylvania, revealed that people who had more sex had 30% higher levels of the antigen immunoglobin A, as compared to people who didn’t. The higher levels of antigen improves our body’s defence against cold and flu. Read more about the health benefits of sex.
You may think sexual health is linked to emotional wellbeing, but in actual fact just about every aspect of your health is improved by a passion session between the sheets. Let’s take a look at how making love can benefit your wellness:
1. Boosts Intelligence: Wellness writer Dominic Midgley details, ‘Sex-mad people are getting brighter not madder, according to a new survey. Psychologists at the University of Maryland have discovered that love-making greatly increases the production of neurons in the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for long-term memory. Their research conducted on mice showed that when the randy rodents were denied sexual partners it led to a fall-off in their intelligence.’ The researchers commented, ‘We discovered that even though there had been the production of new neurons the cognitive abilities acquired during the experiment decreased once the mice were subjected to long periods without sexual activity.’ Sex can also prevent dementia. According to Midgley, ‘The process of neuron creation outlined above is known as neurogenesis and is also thought to restore brain function lost through ageing.’
2. Reduces Pain: ‘A feigned headache is one of the most common excuses given by women to avoid sex,’ Midgley points out. ‘But the fact is that sexual intercourse is actually good for relieving pain whether it be a headache or a bad back. A study conducted by Southern Illinois University’s headache clinic found that one in two female migraine sufferers reported relief after climaxing. This is attributed to the fact that endorphins released during an orgasm closely resemble morphine. Others point to the fact that orgasms are associated with an upsurge of blood flow from the brain, another possible source of pain relief.’
3. Burns Calories: Midgley notes, ‘Half an hour of love-making can burn more calories than walking on a treadmill, according to a Canadian study. Twenty-one couples aged between 18 and 35 were fitted with armbands that monitored how many calories they burned during sex and the intensity of the activity. The results showed that in a typical session lasting 25 minutes the men burned an average of 100 calories and the women 69. Women came top when measuring the intensity of the activity, however. Measured in METs (the metabolic equivalent of a task) the average reading for men was six METs while for women it was 6.6. The findings endorse a previous study by the British Heart Foundation that found that 30 minutes of sexercise a day is as good for you as walking the dog.’
4. Improves Sleep: ‘Men are notorious for rolling over and nodding off as soon as the deed is done – and with good reason,’ says Midgley. ‘Brain scans have shown that the pre-frontal cortex, the area of the brain associated with consciousness, alertness and mental activity, “switches off” after orgasm. One study said the tension-relieving effects of climaxing were the equivalent of taking 2mg of the sedative diazepam. The cocktail of hormones released during orgasm – including melatonin, oxytocin, vasopressin and prolactin – also aid sleep. Contrary to myth this applies to both sexes.’
5. Relieves Stress: Midgley outlines, ‘People who have sex at least once every two weeks are better at handling stressful situations such as public speaking, according to a report from the University of the West of Scotland. It attributes this to the endorphins and oxytocin released during the sexual act. These feel-good hormones activate pleasure centres in the brain that stave off anxiety and depression and create feelings of intimacy and relaxation.’
6. Cuts Male Cancer Risk: ‘A study of 29,000 men in the US found that those who had the most orgasms reduced by a third their chances of contracting prostate cancer, the most common form of cancer among British men,’ Midgley explains. ‘This research by the National Cancer Institute was later supported by a NottinghamUniversity survey. After asking 840 men in their 50s about their sexual histories the Nottingham team found that those who engaged in regular sex – defined as more than 10 times a month – reduced their chances of prostate cancer.’
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You may think sexual health is linked to emotional wellbeing, but in actual fact just about every aspect of your health is improved by a passion session between the sheets. Let’s take a look at how making love can benefit your wellness:
1. Boosts Intelligence: Wellness writer Dominic Midgley details, ‘Sex-mad people are getting brighter not madder, according to a new survey. Psychologists at the University of Maryland have discovered that love-making greatly increases the production of neurons in the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for long-term memory. Their research conducted on mice showed that when the randy rodents were denied sexual partners it led to a fall-off in their intelligence.’ The researchers commented, ‘We discovered that even though there had been the production of new neurons the cognitive abilities acquired during the experiment decreased once the mice were subjected to long periods without sexual activity.’ Sex can also prevent dementia. According to Midgley, ‘The process of neuron creation outlined above is known as neurogenesis and is also thought to restore brain function lost through ageing.’
2. Reduces Pain: ‘A feigned headache is one of the most common excuses given by women to avoid sex,’ Midgley points out. ‘But the fact is that sexual intercourse is actually good for relieving pain whether it be a headache or a bad back. A study conducted by Southern Illinois University’s headache clinic found that one in two female migraine sufferers reported relief after climaxing. This is attributed to the fact that endorphins released during an orgasm closely resemble morphine. Others point to the fact that orgasms are associated with an upsurge of blood flow from the brain, another possible source of pain relief.’
3. Burns Calories: Midgley notes, ‘Half an hour of love-making can burn more calories than walking on a treadmill, according to a Canadian study. Twenty-one couples aged between 18 and 35 were fitted with armbands that monitored how many calories they burned during sex and the intensity of the activity. The results showed that in a typical session lasting 25 minutes the men burned an average of 100 calories and the women 69. Women came top when measuring the intensity of the activity, however. Measured in METs (the metabolic equivalent of a task) the average reading for men was six METs while for women it was 6.6. The findings endorse a previous study by the British Heart Foundation that found that 30 minutes of sexercise a day is as good for you as walking the dog.’
4. Improves Sleep: ‘Men are notorious for rolling over and nodding off as soon as the deed is done – and with good reason,’ says Midgley. ‘Brain scans have shown that the pre-frontal cortex, the area of the brain associated with consciousness, alertness and mental activity, “switches off” after orgasm. One study said the tension-relieving effects of climaxing were the equivalent of taking 2mg of the sedative diazepam. The cocktail of hormones released during orgasm – including melatonin, oxytocin, vasopressin and prolactin – also aid sleep. Contrary to myth this applies to both sexes.’
5. Relieves Stress: Midgley outlines, ‘People who have sex at least once every two weeks are better at handling stressful situations such as public speaking, according to a report from the University of the West of Scotland. It attributes this to the endorphins and oxytocin released during the sexual act. These feel-good hormones activate pleasure centres in the brain that stave off anxiety and depression and create feelings of intimacy and relaxation.’
6. Cuts Male Cancer Risk: ‘A study of 29,000 men in the US found that those who had the most orgasms reduced by a third their chances of contracting prostate cancer, the most common form of cancer among British men,’ Midgley explains. ‘This research by the National Cancer Institute was later supported by a NottinghamUniversity survey. After asking 840 men in their 50s about their sexual histories the Nottingham team found that those who engaged in regular sex – defined as more than 10 times a month – reduced their chances of prostate cancer.’
The post Love Doctor: How Sex Improves Every Aspect of Your Health appeared first on .
Chlamydia is on the rise but there’s been no dramatic increases or decreases in the rate of other sexually transmitted diseases among Manitoba teens. Provincial health officials have released their latest report card on the sexual health of Manitoba teens.
Chief Public Health Officer Dr. Michael Routledge told 680 CJOB’s Dahlia Kurtz you also shouldn’t just talk about teens.
“The bottom line is if you’re talking about sexual health whether a teenager or adult, there are people who are practising sexual health behaviors that are not ideal for their health. While it’s good to have a conversations about teens, we can’t not talk about adults.”
Manitoba’s rate for teen pregnancy remains among the highest in the country. The highest rate of sexually transmitted infections is still found in the poorest areas.
Sex education should be imparted to children as young as 10 in order to curb unwanted early pregnancies, unsafe abortions, maternal deaths and STDs across the world, a new study suggests.
According to researchers at the Georgetown University, parents should shed their inhibition and talk to their young adolescents about sexual matters as young as age of 10.
Researchers say that sexuality begins emerging in ‘younger adolescents’, defined as those between 10 to 14 and this is the time when a kid may first experience changes in their body and start experimenting with sexual behaviours, ‘wallstreetotc.Com’ reported.
In case these the kids are not well informed about safe sex, they may take uncalled for and fatal risks, researchers said.
They said most of the sexual health programmes are not customised to target this age group.
According to the study, much more can be done to make younger adolescents aware about their sexual and reproductive health.
“If programmes are implemented at a time when adolescents are still malleable and relatively free of sexual and reproductive health problems and gender role biases, very young adolescents can be guided safely through this life stage, supported by their parents, families and communities,” researchers said.
The BDSM bestseller, 50 Shades of Grey, titillated the interest and expanded the sexual imaginations of millions of American women. Yet the results of a new sex survey reveal that many of those very women, in their own lives, in their own beds, are saying no: “Not tonight.” “I’ve got a headache.” “I’m just too f-ing tired.”
According to the 450-women survey, 27% of premenopausal women and 34% of postmenopausal women are very dissatisfied with their current level of sexual desire. And while more than 70% of those women say their relationships have suffered as a result, very few have sought help for it.
“The women in the survey didn’t even know [low desire] was an actual thing,” says Sheryl A. Kingsberg, PhD, professor of both reproductive biology and psychiatry at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine in Cleveland and author of an upcoming Journal of Women’s Health article on the survey. “They didn’t realize that low sexual desire is a medically recognized condition with a name—Female Sexual Interest and Arousal Disorder—and that there are places to go for treatment.”
It is and there are, stresses Kingsberg—sort of.
Yes, Female Sexual Interest and Arousal Disorder is in the latest edition of the diagnostician’s Bible—the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, or DSM for short—and by all indications, it’s alarmingly prevalent. And while psychotherapy can be very helpful for women for whom flagging desire is psychological in origin, there are no FDA-approved drug treatments for low female sexual desire that’s biologically driven—no pink Viagras. And Kingsberg says, that makes many family docs loathe even to bring up sexual health during a routine exam. “They don’t have anything to offer patients, so the attitude is, ‘Why talk about it?’ ” she says. “Often, they don’t.”
Which means it’s up to you to bring it up.
“Low sexual desire truly is a silent epidemic among women,” says Louann Brizendine, MD, founder and director of the Women’s Mood and Hormone Clinic at the University of California, San Francisco and author of The Female Brain. “Women feel they will be rejected by their partners and even judged by their friends if they tell the truth. They live in deep, deep shame.” The only answer for them personally, says Brizendine, and for women’s health in general is to break the silence. “Talk to your doctor, talk to your friends,” she says. “The problem deserves the attention—and you do, too.”
Brizendine recalls when Viagra hit the market 15 years ago: “Droves of men went to their GPs—doctors whom they had been seeing for 20 years or more—asking them for Viagra. The GPs had no idea their patients were having erectile dysfunction, because they had never asked and the guys had never volunteered the information—the fact that there was a solution broke their silence.” Brizendine says we need to break our silence now so that the FDA knows there’s demand for a solution.
Your first step: Stop by eventhescore.org—a website created by numerous women’s-sexual-health-concerned nonprofits to alert the FDA to the fact that there are now 26 drugs on the market to address male sexual dysfunction and not a single one for women. Your second: pop in to see your own doctor, and, if you need to, raise the issue. This is not something you need to suffer in silence.
In the meantime, these 20 just-for-women tips can help you start to want sex again.
You may think your partner is pretty simple when it comes to sex, but men actually have a lot more going on behind that “wham, bam, thank you mam,” façade. Here is everything your guy wishes you knew about his sexual wellbeing:
1. He Responds to Praise: According to sexual health and wellness writer Brendan Tapley, ‘It’s believed that men are so consumed by our libido that we have no self-consciousness surrounding sex. But men are no different from women when it comes to compliments as catalysts for sexual confidence. This praise can be delivered before reaching the bedroom (give us the once-over and tell us how buff we look), and after (give us the once-over and tell us how buff we look naked). Along those lines, men worry about the size of their guts (and other measurable organs), their hair (or lack thereof) and other attributes. Try to be extra affirming about those sensitivities.’
2. He Fears Intimacy…But Not for the Reason You Think: Tapley details, ‘Studies have shown that boys are more affectionate, even more expressive, than girls until they reach school age. At that time, social repression begins—of words, thoughts, feelings—and our desire for human connection goes underground. So taboo is this desire for intimacy that its possibility can terrify men—not because it’s smothering, but because we realise how desperate we are for it. What’s a woman to do? First, understand that your guy’s hasty retreat post-sex may be about his own shock at how much he craves a connection with you (and how much he’s denied it in life). Then, retreat a little yourself. This gives him time to see that his boyhood habits are, in fact, perfectly manly.’
3. He Appreciates Sex for Sex’s Sake: Psychotherapist and sexologist Joe Kort, PhD, notes, ‘Men want their wives to enjoy raw sex, not just endure it or take it personally. For men, it’s not about dominating a woman, but ravishing her.’
4. He’s Not Just His Penis: Men have ‘many erogenous zones,’ says psychologist Melodie Schaefer, PsyD. ‘Men tend not to correct women because they’re afraid women will shut down and not touch them at all. But there are many places a woman should touch.’ Tapley advises touching ‘the chest, the inner thighs and face. Two other key areas: Gently gripping a man’s testicles can be a real turn-on, as it blends control with release. Also, stimulating the perineum, the area between the scrotum and anus, will heighten pleasure during oral sex.’
5. He Encourages Fantasies: Dr. Kort points out, ‘Men want to share their fantasies but worry their wives will shame or judge them.’ Tapley adds, ‘Men wish women would reveal their imaginings. Want to open yourself to these possibilities? Try making a game of it. First, and most important, promise not to judge the other; then, privately write out scenarios that have tantalized you and place them in a box. When you are next intimate, pull one out. If you’re both comfortable, give it a shot. If not, [ask] the author a key question: What about this fantasy do you like? Sometimes, its themes can be addressed in different, more comfortable scenarios.’
6. He Likes It When You Talk: ‘Talking during sex stimulates more than our ears,’ Tapley explains. ‘What kind of talk? Dirty, praising and instructive are great starts. As amusing as it may sound, a woman’s words can make a guy feel as potent and virile as a Roman gladiator, even if he’s a suburban banker.’
7. He Needs Your Honesty: Tapley comments, ‘Sex can solve the stresses of a relationship, but it’s often where the stresses show up. If we complain about a lack of sex (or your doing certain things only on our birthday), we may be overlooking serious issues that underpin such withholding. We need you to enlighten us. The male ego is often tied to sex, so it’s easy for us to dismiss bedroom problems as female disinterest rather than issues we have a part in. Avoiding these problems, however, only perpetuates your feeling unseen and our frustration.’
Middle aged women are often thought to be beyond their sexual prime, but a recent study has shown that the sexual wellness and wellbeing of this age group is likely to far exceed that of younger women. Those who are sexually active during middle age are also likely to keep having sex as they get older, even if they have been diagnosed with some form of sexual dysfunction.
Based at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Centre, the team of researchers looked at data from a group of 602 women aged between 40 and 65 which reported on their sex lives, how sexually active they were and how important they felt sex was to their lives.
The lead author of the study, Dr. Holly Thomas, said that there was a popular preconception in the public that when women get older, sex becomes less important, and also that women stop having sex as they get older. Based on the study, it appears that most women continue to have sex during middle age.
Sexual dysfunction is a label that is frequently applied to women in this age group, but doctors and psychologists have long debated how useful it is to use this label at all. There is a test called the Female Sexual Function Index which is meant to test women’s sexual problems. There are 19 questions in the test, centring around orgasm, arousal, vaginal lubrication and any pain felt during sex.
As part of the recent study, the middle aged women who were sexually active took the test and then took it again four years later. Over 85 percent of the women who reported that they were sexually active when they first took the test, were still sexually active when they took the test again the second time.
There’s a reason why the term “food porn” exists; food is sexy. Whether it’s the way you eat it or the flavours that excite something within you, the right foods can give your sexual health and wellbeing the boost you need. According to wellness expert Julie Upton, RD, ‘If you want to put some sizzle back into your sex life, food can help you set the mood. There’s nothing better than a romantic, home-cooked dinner, featuring some R-rated foods to help turn up the heat.’ Jennifer R. Berman, MD, the director of the Berman Women’s Wellness Centre, asserts, ‘There’s a growing body of evidence that some of the vitamins and components in foods can enhance sexual function and sexual experience.’ So which frisky foods have modern-day science, as well as aphrodisiac history and lore, to back up their claims?
1. Avocados:Upton details, ‘The Aztecs referred to avocados as, ahem, testicles, because of their physical shape. But the scientific reason why avocados make sense as an aphrodisiac is that they are rich in unsaturated fats and low in saturated fat, making them good for your heart and your arteries. Anything that keeps the heart beating strong helps keep blood flowing to all the right places; in fact, men with underlying heart disease are twice as likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction (ED).’
2. Almonds: ‘Topping my list of feisty foods, almonds have long been purported to increase passion, act as a sexual stimulant, and aid with fertility,’ Upton notes. ‘Like asparagus (another one of my favourite sexy foods), almonds are nutrient-dense and rich in several trace minerals that are important for sexual health and reproduction, such as zinc, selenium, and vitamin E.’ Dr. Berman explains, ‘Zinc helps enhance libido and sexual desire. We don’t really understand the mechanisms behind it, but we know it works.’
3. Strawberries: ‘The colour red is known to help stoke the fire,’ says Upton. ‘A study found that men find women sexier if they’re wearing red, as opposed to cool colours such as blue or green. Strawberries are also an excellent source of folic acid, a B vitamin that helps ward off birth defects in women and, according to a University of California, Berkley study, may be tied to high sperm counts in men. Try making dark-chocolate-dipped strawberries. And while we’re on the subject, there’s a reason we give chocolate on Valentine’s Day: It’s full of libido-boosting methylxanthines.’
4. Seafood:Upton points out, ‘Despite their slippery and slimy texture, oysters may be the most well-known aphrodisiac. They’re also one of the best sources of libido-boosting zinc. But other types of seafood can also act as aphrodisiacs. Oily fish—like wild salmon and herring—contain omega-3s, which are essential for a healthy heart.’
5. Arugula: ‘Arugula has been heralded as an arousal aid since the first century,’ Upton comments. ‘Today, research reveals that the trace minerals and antioxidants packed into dark, leafy greens are essential for our sexual health because they help block absorption of some of the environmental contaminants thought to negatively impact our libido.’
6. Figs:Upton outlines, ‘These funny-shaped fruits have a long history of being a fertility booster, and they make an excellent aphrodisiac because they are packed with both soluble and insoluble fiber, which is important for heart health. Plus, high-fibre foods help fill you up, not out, so it’s easier to achieve that sexy bottom line—or belly.’
7. Citrus: ‘Any member of this tropical fruit family is super-rich in antioxidants, vitamin C, and folic acid—all of which are essential for men’s reproductive health,’ says Upton. ‘Enjoy a romantic salad that incorporates citrus, like pink grapefruit or mandarin oranges, or use a dressing made with lemon and lime.’
Everyone enjoys sex, but is that where the benefits to your wellness end? Absolutely not! Let’s take a look at some of the scientifically proven ways in which sex is good for you:
1. Exercise: Sexual health expert and private GP Dr Arun Ghosh argues that sex is ‘not emphasised enough as a really good form of exercise.’ If you make it last long enough, Graham Jackson, a consultant cardiologist and president of The Sexual Advice Association, asserts that sex could form part of your overall, varied fitness programme. ‘A typical game of tennis or squash is around 40 minutes of sustained cardiovascular activity,’ he points out. ‘So to compare these to sex in fitness benefits you would need to perform your peak periods of sex for around the same amount of time.’ A vigorous 30 to 40 minutes means ‘you could get a good cardiovascular workout during sex,’ Dr Jackson adds. ‘Sexual activity is meant to compliment other more sustained forms of exercise. You can’t say, “I have sex, I won’t exercise”.’
2. Brain Function: Scientists at the University of Maryland found that rats’ brain function improved after long periods of sexual activity, specifically in the hippocampus area where new memories are formed. According to Dr. Ghosh, ‘A huge amount of brain stimulus occurs during intercourse. It’s why we feel so overtaken when we orgasm. When researchers do MRI scans on people in orgasm, they observe both sides of the brain being stimulated, including parts of the brain we wouldn’t normally use.’ However, as the study was done on rats, we still don’t know if the same results would be found in people. Dr Simon Ridley, of the Alzheimer’s Research Council, notes, ‘Plus, any improvements in brain power were lost once the animals’ sexual activity stopped, so we can’t assume any benefits to their brains will be long-term…There’s as yet still no compelling evidence to support the idea that regular sex can help stave off dementia or cognitive decline in humans.’
3. Stronger Pelvic Floor: Not only does a strong pelvic floor make sex itself more enjoyable; Andrew Hextall, a consultant who specialises in genito-urinary medicine at Spire Bushey Hospital, points out that, a stronger pelvic floor can help reduce your risk of prolapse of the womb, which affects half of women over 50, and your risk of stress incontinence, which affects one in four women over 40. Mr Hextall explains, ‘During intercourse, the muscles in a woman’s pelvic floor naturally contract and squeeze. This increases muscle tone in the area, as the pelvic floor is like any other muscle, it responds to use by getting stronger. The recommendation for exercises to strengthen the pelvic floor are to squeeze the pelvic floor only eight times at any one time. It’s likely that during sex you will be contracting your pelvic floor at least that many times, so there’s no need for prolonged sex sessions to get these benefits.’
4. Lower Anxiety and Depression: A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour discovered that young women felt more depressed the longer they hadn’t had sex. Stuart Brody, professor of psychology specialising in sexual behaviour at the University of the West of Scotland, surmises that this could be because of the vaginal absorption of hormones in semen such as prostaglandins, testosterone and luteinizing hormone, which improves women’s moods. Dr Ghosh details, ‘Routinely now, when our patients – male or female – are diagnosed with depression or anxiety we encourage them to maintain their sex lives because it’s so beneficial for mental wellbeing’.
It’s incredible pleasurable and exciting when you reach orgasm – particularly if it happens during an intimate moment with your partner. However, sometimes that lovely moment eludes your sexual wellbeing, or you find that your orgasms aren’t as strong and intense as you would like them to be. While you may not have had to do anything in the past to improve your orgasms, if they’re not so hot and heavy now there are still things you can do to fine-tune your sexual wellness, and have the best orgasms you’ve ever had. With that in mind, we spoke to sexual health expert Ruth Olurounbi for her “Big O” tips:
1. Never Fake It: According to Olurounbi, ‘Sometimes women (and even men!) fake orgasms because they don’t want to hurt their partners’ feelings. Though this deception comes from a place of love, it is still deception and can be destructive. Your partner won’t learn how to truly pleasure you, and you will likely become resentful if you continually miss out on your sexual bliss.’
2. Ask For What You Want: ‘Instead of faking orgasm, why not be up front and let your partner know what types of positions and touches you enjoy?,’ Olurounbi says. ‘Hate missionary? Go ahead and tell him! Or, hop on top and show him what you like.’
3. Stay Fit: Olurounbi points out, ‘Along with keeping your communication tight, you also need to make sure that your physical health is up to par. Get plenty of exercise and eat a healthy diet. Plus, steer clear of too much wine on date night (a glass or two is fine, but any more and you might kill the sensations and pleasures of sex).’
4. Dress for Success: ‘If you want a great orgasm, dress the part!’ Olurounbi enthuses. ‘Leave the granny panties and old sweats in the closet where they belong. Instead dress with seduction in mind. Not only will it get your partner thinking along amorous lines, but it will also help you tap into your inner vixen all day long.’
5. Focus on Your Hot Spots: Olurounbi notes, ‘Only 30% of women have an orgasm from intercourse alone, so rest assured that there is nothing abnormal about your inability to reach orgasm instantly during sex. Most women need a little extra stimulation, whether it’s manual stimulation of the clitoris or oral stimulation before or after the act itself.’
6. Make Time for Foreplay: ‘It’s true that there will be some days when you simply won’t have time for sex,’ Olurounbi admits. ‘However, most of the time, you can always finagle a few moments to bond and be intimate. You just have to be creative: Hop in the shower for a little loving at the end of a long day, or set your alarm for 15 minutes earlier and free up time for early morning intimacy.’
7. Just Do It: ‘Even if you aren’t in the mood at first, sexual pleasure can sometimes pop up after a few moments of touching and foreplay,’ Olurounbi asserts. ‘Don’t say no off the bat, give your body time to wake up and respond.’
8. Use Sex Toys: Olurounbi explains, ‘Sex aids can bring a whole new level of enjoyment and intimacy into your bedroom, especially if you have hit a rough patch or you want to spice things up. You can use a simple clitoral vibrator during intercourse to help increase your arousal, or you can get even more intense by using a G-spot vibrator or a dildo.’
9. Kiss More: ‘Sounds simple, yet many couples stop kissing once in a long-term relationship,’ Olurounbi laments. ‘Get those kisses back by making it a point to kiss every day for at least ten seconds. It will bring intimacy and eroticism back to your bedroom and to your relationship.’
10. Masturbate: Olurounbi comments, ‘Self-stimulation is a great way to get in touch with your sexual response and inner desires. Make it a habit to fantasise and self-stimulate on a regular basis to keep your circulation flowing and your libido pumping!’
A study has found that teenagers who are not embarrassed about sending sexual texts are far more likely to protect their sexual wellness and wellbeing. Researchers said that using technology is a great way to get teenagers talking about potentially embarrassing topics, such as their sexual health. Teenagers who sent text messages about condoms were around four times more likely to have protected sex than those who did not, according to the study.
In addition, the study found that students who used technology to talk about sexual limits or pregnancy were doubly likely to use a condom when they had sex. This also applied when high school students talk about another form of birth control rather than condoms.
The study’s lead author uses the data to point out that not all use of technology is harmful. Most of the media attention points towards the risks and harms associated with technology use (for example, sexting) but in this case students who used their electronic tools to discuss sexual health were actually better prepared for real life scenarios.
Researchers think that it may be that technology allows teenagers to talk about subjects that would be embarrassing or awkward face to face.
The study was carried out on a group of 176 high school teenagers. Of the group 64 claimed to be sexually active, with more than half of them admitting that they consistently failed to use a condom.
These numbers, whilst shocking, are actually in line with statistics from the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which reports that 47 percent of U.S. high school students are having sex, and 40 percent are not using condoms.
Unsurprisingly, this leads to a very high teen pregnancy rate. If talking about condom use via text or IM on their mobile phones helps teens to take better precautions, then it is something to be celebrated.
According to psychotherapist Joyce Marter, ‘A client once said to me, “I’m nervous to talk with my wife about my sexual needs, because you are the only person who knows that part of my life.” This statement struck me as wildly paradoxical. How could I, a person with whom my client has a strictly professional relationship, know more about his sexual life than the woman with whom he has sex?’ Most of us are embarrassed to talk to our partners about sex. You might divulge a few tid bits to your friends, or speak to a professional, but to actually discuss sexual health with the person you’re having sex with? No thank you! However, talking about sex won’t only improve your sexual wellbeing; it may also save your relationship wellness.
Marter explains, ‘After nearly 20 years of counselling individuals and couples, it is clear that there is also a “chicken and egg” relationship between sex and relationship problems. Sometimes it’s hard to tell which came first. Some couples are sexually disconnected because of a relationship issues and others have interpersonal conflict that stems from sexual problems. Perhaps it doesn’t really matter which is addressed first, as long as there is a shared, open and courageous attempt to resolve their issues.’ But how do you actually do that? Luckily, Marter has shared her top tips for improving your sex life:
1. Stop, Meditate and Listen: Marter recommends, ‘Quiet your mind via meditation and ask the deeper self within what you desire sexually. Notice any negative thoughts or beliefs that induce fear, guilt or shame – breathe them out and let them go. Replace them with a mantra such as, “I am a sexual being and deserve a gratifying sexual life.”’
2. Write it Down: ‘Write down the issues that are preventing you from having the sexual life you want,’ Marter instructs. ‘Create a plan for how to address and resolve those issues. (For example, talk with your doctor about your medication side effects, hit the gym to feel sexier, get in couples therapy about your relationship issues, seek individual therapy about your addiction to porn, carve out time for coupling, etc.)’
3. Connect Your Mind and Body: Marter advises, ‘Because many people are overly focused on their minds, connect with your body through exercise, stretching, progressive muscle relaxation and mindfulness techniques to increase body awareness and subsequently improve your sexual experiences. Take care of yourself so you feel desirable and confident.’
4. Accentuate Your Relationship: ‘Detach from the imperfections we all have physically and focus on your sense of aliveness within’ says Marter. ‘And the passionate energy exchange between you and your partner. Avoid magazines and media with harmful messages about body image.’
5. COMMUNICATE: ‘Find your voice and dig up the courage to talk with you partner(s) about your sexual feelings, needs and desires,’ Marter encourages. ‘Be open and honest. Ask your partner what he or she wants (detach from judgment and defensiveness). Be open in your communication and aim to be a good lover (like karma, this will come back at you). Use “I” statements, rather than “you” statements to decrease defensiveness (e.g., “I desire more oral sex” vs. “You never go down on me.”) Similar to parenting and management, sexual communication requires that you give three positive statements for every piece of negative feedback (“I love when you do this, this and this, but am not really loving that…”).’
6. Experiment Together: Marter suggests, ‘Connect with your partner through music, art, dance, poetry, nature, food, and other shared sensual experiences that will set the tone for intimacy and connection. Be open to new experiences and talk openly without judgment.’
Most people find talking about sex really difficult and embarrassing, and healthcare providers are no exception to the rule. It’s no surprise that we often avoid the subject entirely, as it is considered to be a sensitive and potentially awkward conversation – especially if you don’t know the person you’re talking to, as is the case with healthcare providers. But learning about the sexual behaviour of patients is becoming a vital part of the process now, as part of creating a high quality, patient-focussed and more efficient form of health care. In a survey of 500 men and women over the age of 25, 85 per cent of the participants expressed an interest in discussing sexual topics with their doctor, although 71 per cent stated that their GP would most likely dismiss their concerns. The knowledge a GP has of their patient’s sexual history gives them the opportunity to educate and counsel them about STDs, HIV and viral hepatitis. But without this knowledge, they’re unable to know which tests and vaccinations are needed. Such diseases are mostly ‘silent’ and unnoticed so they can lead to more serious illnesses, as well as spreading to partners which increases the prevalence of the disease within the community. So when a GP doesn’t ask the question about sex, they aren’t just affecting the patient themselves – they’re also affecting the health of the people in the wider community as well. The new initiatives aim to greatly lower the risk of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases, which have risen significantly in recent years.
Studies show that gathering information about a patient’s’ sexual behaviour can be done in a very simple and effective way by asking three basic sexually-related questions regarding ones behaviour and risk:
- Have you been sexually active in the last year?
- Do you have sex with men only, women only, or both?
- How many sexual partners have you had in the last six months?
These questions help to give a really broad sense of a person’s sexual behaviour and their level of risk, which makes it easier for a GP to tailor a deeper discussion about their needs. It’s vital that GPs ensure that they assure their patients that this is something that they do with all their patients so that the individual doesn’t feel as though they are being singled out for their behaviour. This is especially the case for high-risk populations who have been marginalised or oppressed historically, such as transgender men or women, homosexual men and women, groups at high risk for HIV and STDs, and viral hepatitis. In order to help these groups, it’s important that their sexual history is described to their GP. This means asking questions such as:
- How often should people be tested for HIV and STDs?
- What vaccinations should be offered to whom?
- Why are some MSM at higher risk for HIV and STDs?
It may take time for GPs to feel comfortable speaking to their patients about sexual matters, their health, identities and desires. But once this becomes more routine, the stigma surrounding sex and sexual behaviour will also become less of an issue. This is important both in and out of a health care setting to make honest conversations about sex a more common occurrence. There are plenty of services available to provide education and help to people who need advice on sexual matters, as well as STD testing and advice on unplanned pregnancies – if you’re concerned, you should speak to your GP who can offer more information on the services in your local area.
As you reach your 50s and beyond, you may notice a few changes to your physical wellbeing. Sure there are a few creaky joints and wrinkles that weren’t there before, but that doesn’t mean your physical needs have changed – not to mention your emotional needs. The need for intimacy is ageless, and sexual health has actually been linked to good wellness overall and a longer lifespan!
According to Arthur Hayward, MD, a geriatrician and the clinical lead physician for elder care with Kaiser Permanente’s Care Management Institute, Many women are surprised by the impact menopause has on their sex life. Some women enjoy sex more after menopause while others feel a drop in interest. Men may feel a decline in their sex drive and may want to learn about treatment for erectile dysfunction. Whatever the situation, be honest and open with your doctor about your concerns, so you can get the help you need to improve your sexual health.’ So how can you continue to enjoy a physically and emotionally fulfilling sex life as you age?
1. Communicate: This is a top tip regardless of age, but communication is key when changes occur to your body. As people age, you lose oestrogen while your partner loses testosterone. These hormonal changes may lead to changes in libido, but your partner won’t know what’s going on in your body until you tell him. Not only can openly discussing your concerns and what you’re experiencing emotionally and physically help you both to find a solution; the sheer act of open, vulnerable communication can bring you closer and help you both enjoy sex and intimacy all the more.
2. Spend Time Together: Sex and sexuality communicate a great deal: affection, love, esteem, warmth, sharing and bonding. These gifts are as much the right of older adults as they are of those who are younger, so why not take a leaf out of young peoples’ book? Go out on a date to the movies or to dinner, or just suggest you go for a walk. Quality time helps you to focus on intimacy and physical touch, so hark back to your younger selves and hold hands, hug and show affection.
3. Experiment: If you find that you’re too tired to have sex at night anymore, try trying it on with your partner in the morning or the afternoon when you have more energy. A low libido can make you want to get things over with quickly, but taking your time and spending longer on foreplay can increase vaginal lubrication and boost your level of desire. If uncomfortable sex is putting you off, try using a lubricant. There are loads of sexual factors to play with, such as mood, lighting and sensual exercises – so try something new to get in the mood.
4. Practice Safe Sex: Research shows that rates of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) such as chlamydia, gonorrhoea and syphilis have doubled for people in their 50s, 60s and 70s in the past decade, due to the lack of fear of pregnancy. However, condoms are vital for protecting you against STDs, so it’s important to practice safe sex with every new partner.
5. Know When to Seek Help: If you suffer from physical limitations or the effects of certain illnesses or medications, you may need to make a few accommodations. Talk with your doctor about any changes that concern you, and he or she can help you make the necessary changes. Some health niggles can be the first sign of a medical problem, so it’s always worth bringing them up.
Did you know that testosterone has as much to do with your physical wellness and wellbeing as it has to do with your sexual health? If you have started to feel old recently, it could be that a dip in testosterone is to blame.
At some point, most people have a sudden feeling of being old. It often follows on from a physical challenge, where they realise that they are unable to maintain the kind of physical strength or challenge that they used to, or their recovery takes longer than they expected. It could be something as simple as a bit of DIY in the house which is much harder work than you expected, or it could be that you don’t feel that you are living up to expectations in the bedroom anymore.
You probably don’t feel old in your mind, but the realisation that your body feels old is a startling one. The issue could well be that you no longer have enough free testosterone. There are two types of testosterone in the bloodstream – bonded testosterone and free testosterone. The free testosterone plays a very important role in strength, stamina, libido and vitality, all of which feel very important to a man.
Over the past few years, the supplements market has been absolutely flooded with options that claim to boost a man’s free testosterone. In other areas, such as the illegal medical treatments sector, potentially dangerous treatments are also offered. Now a group of scientists in Boston have developed a safe dietary supplement that helps to trigger the body to produce its own free testosterone in a natural way.
This new supplement is called Nugenix and comes from the rare Fenugreek plant. It has been proved in clinical trials to increase sex drive and improve libido by boosting the body’s natural free testosterone levels.
The newest sexual survey reveals that Britons are having more and more sexual partners than ever. Whilst the issue of ‘how many people you’ve had sex with’ is something that we tend to avoid when starting a new relationship, these worries about seeming promiscuous are failing to deter Britons from having more sexual partners than ever before. Whether this is a sign of our increasing confidence in our sexual wellness or in fact a lack of sexual wellbeing is yet to be determined.
Women who are aged between 16 and 44 reported an average of around 7.7 sexual partners, which is a great increase from the 3.7 average that was reported just 20 years ago, according to the recent survey. Men who were in the same age group reported that they were now sleeping with an average of 11.7 partners each, an increase from the previous claim of 8.6 20 years ago.
If you’re reading this and feeling a little hard done by in the sexual partner department, you can take comfort from the fact that although the numbers of sexual partners may have risen, the actual number of times that people report having sex has fallen, from more than six times per week in the 1990s to less than five today.
There is also a much darker side to the survey, as it revealed that around ten per cent of women say that they have been raped. Chillingly, only 13 percent of those victims said that they had reported the crime to the police.
The Charity Rape Crisis said that they are unsurprised by the findings, as they see large numbers of victims in their support centres who have not reported the crime to the police, and previously knew their attacker. They say it represents a problem with the criminal justice system and with victim blaming.
Are you a pervert? Psychologist Jesse Bering says you are! In his new book, Perv: The Sexual Deviant In All Of Us, Bering claims that we all have deviant carnal urges; we just keep our masturbatory mental aids to ourselves. That said, it turns out that some of us are more deviant than others.
Those with more exotic kinks are considered to have a condition called paraphilia, and sometimes these are thought to be mental disorders. Transvestic fetishism, masochism, exhibitionism, frotteurism (rubbing your own genitals or touching strangers in public), sadism and voyeurism are all considered to be mental disorders of some kind, but there are hundreds more innocuous paraphilias that, while unusual, aren’t harmful. Bering argues that, instead of judging people about their sexual preferences, we should instead judge how harmful that deviance is. Bering has come to this conclusion following 18 months of research, and he admits even he wasn’t expecting to come to such a moral perception of sexual deviance or perversion.
‘We’ve all spent far too long dawdling over the irrelevant questions of what’s “normal” and “natural”,’ says Bering. ‘We must abandon the rhetoric of righteousness and instead turn our efforts to clarifying – using science rather than scripture, laws or even (and especially) our own gut feelings – how a sexual act or orientation is harmful to those involved. In my book, at least, doing harm is the only thing that makes a person a pervert. We do a lot of harm just by judging others’ sexuality.’ For Bering, this means that with, say, homosexuality, the homophobe – rather than the gay person who has consensual sex with a person of their own sex – is actually the pervert.
So could it one day be perfectly acceptable to be a sexual deviant? According to Bering, it’s all down to a matter of education. ‘Wouldn’t it be a shame if, after all our laughing and pointing at others due to their sexuality, it turns out that people have as much say over what arouses them as they do over the colour of their skin?’ he asks. ‘One day we’ll all be embarrassed for having waged so cruel a campaign against the erotic outliers among us.’ So what perceptions about perversion might you one day be embarrassed that you had? In the name of learning more about sexual deviance, your questions were put to Bering, and we rounded up the best of his responses:
1. @Trackercat: How much of sexuality is fixed? ‘The answer is different for men and women,’ notes Bering. ‘The best evidence suggests that male sexuality is largely a “done deal” by the time a boy reaches puberty. Even fetishes in men are thought to have their origins in childhood experiences. Women, by contrast, are said to have more “erotic plasticity” and are able to lose and acquire kinks more easily throughout the life course.’
2. @d79Jones: Do particular forms of deviancy arise in particular societies or cultures? Bering comments, ‘If a deviancy is common enough in a particular culture, it’s not, by definition, deviant in that society. But the major clinical types – exhibitionism, fetishism, sadomasochism, frotteurism and so on – are found the world over, regardless of a society’s attitudes about sex.’
3. @elasticbishop: Do you think homosexuality will ever be completely normalised, akin to different hair colour or different tastes in ice cream? ‘Only if people make the effort to educate themselves about human sexuality,’ Bering asserts. ‘Encouraging people to think objectively – and humanely – about human sexual variation is an uphill battle, as I learned while writing Perv.’
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