Family wellness begins when two people fall in love, but how do you know if the Big L has called your name? Let’s take a look at some of the potential signs that you’re loved up:
1. You Want to Talk About Not Dating Other People: According to Joy Browne, author of Dating For Dummies (3rd Edition), ‘The issue isn’t a willingness to be exclusive. It’s a willingness to talk about and explain being exclusive. A surprisingly large number of men and women are surreptitiously monogamous, feeling that their willingness to forgo all others gives power to the partner. But when you’re willing to admit that you’re willing to share the power and admit your vulnerability (I really like you and hope you like me as much), not only are you in love, but you sound like a rational, fairly adult soul in the bargain.’
2. You’re Willing to Go Somewhere You Hate: ‘The willingness to go someplace you actually hate with someone you actually love — and not be a pain in the neck about it — is one of the hallmarks of love,’ says Browne. ‘When you first start to date, you’re tempted to do whatever it takes to get the date off the ground because you’re blinded by the possibilities. During the next phase of dating, you stand up for yourself and don’t do the activity you hate. This is a necessary evolution because if there is to be true love, it has to be based on who you are, not who you think your beginning-to-be-significant other will like. But once you actually get to love, your need to constantly assert yourself is softened by your beloved’s influence and the sense that you can give because your love will reciprocate your generosity.’
3. You’re Open-Minded to Other Beliefs: Brown points out, ‘Any good relationship changes us. If being around your beloved makes you examine or change some fundamental part of yourself, it may not be love in and of itself, but it does indicate respect, a willingness to learn from another, and a relationship in which you feel safe enough to try something foreign and scary. Forget about flattery or hypocrisy. Rather, you have the courage, strength, and energy to examine and experiment with a fundamental belief system, be it religion, politics, gun control, abortion, Chinese food, travel, having children, gardening, money, or any other position you used to consider inviolate.’
4. You Like the Idea of Doing Nothing Together: ‘Even though the stakes aren’t very high at the beginning, you might feel that they are, so you play at dating, and one of the easiest ways to play is to do something at all times — either publicly or privately,’ Browne explains. ‘The dating ritual is about finding places to go and things to do. Once a couple is sexual, the thing to do is sexual, and everything else seems just a holding action until the couple can hit the sheets. Then when the initial flurry of sexual activity is over, there is a tendency to want to show each other off because you’re feeling connected and proud. When the idea of doing nothing together is the coolest thing either of you can come up with, you’re very likely in love, because you’ve gone through the other stages of terror, sex, and showing off.’
5. You Can Be Yourself: Browne asserts, ‘When you truly love someone, you want them to know who you are and love you for all that you are, not just for who you pretend to be. When you’re in a truly loving relationship, you can be honest and direct and take chances. The tricky part of being in love is that it can encourage you to be yourself but ups the ante that you might make someone whom you really want to stay change their mind and leave if you show the real you. You want your beloved to be happy now and forever, and the only way to do that is to be who you really are.’
