As well as being a fun activity, sex is good for your physical health. According to award-winning wellness writer Hope Gillette, ‘The act of engaging in sexual contact with a partner can lead to the production of a number of hormonal and other biological changes, which can in turn ease pain, boost immunity, offset menopausal symptoms, and even reduce the risk for certain cancers.’ However, beyond this, there is a link between your sexual health and a number of mental health benefits.
Laurie Mintz, Professor of Psychology at the University of Florida and the author of the self-help book A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex, explains, ‘Sex has very potent emotional health benefits. Sex has important mood boosting properties and it also enhances relationship health and satisfaction, which itself is related to mental wellbeing.’ Sex helps you to sleep better, connect more deeply with your partner, develop a more positive outlook and zest for life and be more serene, patient and happy.
Another mental health benefit of sex is that it can boost your self-esteem. Sex, marriage, and family therapist, Gina Ogden, notes, ‘One of the reasons people say they have sex is to feel good about themselves. Great sex begins with self-esteem. If the sex is loving, connected, and what you want, it raises it.’ Sex also enhances the trust and intimacy you have with your partner, giving you a special way to express love and create shared memories and special secrets. However, that is not to say that you and your partner approach sex in the same way.
Gillette details, ‘Research indicates that men have stronger sex drives when compared to women, and they also have more straight-forward inclinations. Men are driven by the physical desire to have sex whereas women tend to have sex to increase relationship status and the emotions which go along with it.’ Mintz agrees, ‘Research consistently shows that women’s sexuality is strongly linked to a close relationship, with an important goal of sex being intimacy and the best context for pleasurable sex being in a committed relationship. This is less true for men.’
However, regardless of the reason for it, both men and women experience mental health rewards due to the chemical release of dopamine and oxytocin during sex, which are the same chemicals responsible for linking two people in “love.” Deborah Anapol, PhD, a seminar leader and relationship coach who offers training in Pelvic Heart Integration, clarifies, ‘The physiology of love depends upon what kind of love we’re talking about. When we first “fall in love” with a romantic partner our brains release endorphins – natural opiates that create a feeling of euphoria. What exactly triggers this response is a bit of a mystery but theories range from detecting a match with the personality of parental figures to identifying someone carrying DNA, which would combine with ours to make the best babies.’
Gillette points out, ‘A 2012 study reported by The Atlantic found men experiencing frequent oxytocin release were more likely to remain monogamous during a relationship. What’s more, oxytocin boosts feelings of generosity toward a significant other, another relationship-strengthening benefit of sex. Overall, past research links sexual satisfaction in a relationship to that of general happiness, suggesting that people with healthy sex lives feel more fulfilled in other areas of their lives as well.’ Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH, sexual health educator at the Kinsey Institute and author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction, adds, ‘Sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction are closely linked. When people feel happy and satisfied in their relationships, that may in some ways protect them from depression, anxiety or other health risks.’
