10 Guilty Pleasures for Hopelessly Boring Couples

When you’re young, you’re desperate to try new things – especially when it comes to your sexual wellness. But once you grow up, get married, have kids etc. you can start pining for those teenage favourites, like soppy, cheesy and uber-romantic dates. Family wellness expert Chaunie Brusie, author of Tiny Blue Lines: Reclaiming Your Life and Preparing For Your Baby, details, ‘When my husband and I were dating, one of our favourite things to do was take a late-night walk around our college campus and hit up the local convenience store for our respective favourite pints of ice cream…Now, officially “grown up,” with a house, a mortgage, careers, kids, and even a fourth baby on the way, it seems like those carefree, ice cream-eating days of dating of old are gone forever. But I was inspired…to create my own list of guilty pleasures for couples, even this hopelessly boring one.’ Why not try one of Brusie’s guilty pleasures on your next date night?

 

1. Late Night Ice Cream Sessions: ‘Because obviously,’ states Brusie. ‘Did you really think this wouldn’t make the list? Bonus points for enjoying your ice cream accompanied by a cheesy movie and/or anywhere outside.’

 

2. Watching The Sunrise Under a Cosy Blanket: According to Brusie, there’s no limit to ‘how beautiful this guilty pleasure can be. If you have to play hooky from work together to make this one happen, all the more romantic.’

 

3. Staying Up All Night Together: ‘I’m not talking about staying up all night together because you have no choice with small, screaming children,’ says Brusie. ‘I’m talking about staying up all night just for fun, and indulge in some crazy, cheesy, calorie-ridden meal because nothing tastes better in the middle of the night.’

 

4. Couples’ Massages: Brusie asks, ‘Need I say more? There’s always the DIY option if your budget does not approve.’

 

5. Sleeping Alone…To Start With: According to Brusie, ‘Maybe this is just a phenomenon of the long-married, but there’s something that makes sleeping alone in your marital bed that feels gloriously guilty. Maybe your husband is out on the town for a boys’ night, or maybe you’re sipping cocktails for a bachelorette party, but starting out alone then slipping underneath the covers can certainly spice things up a bit.’

 

6. Cookie Dough: Brusie asserts, ‘Salmonella warnings, be damned. Heat up the kitchen by mixing up a batch of homemade cookies — and feeding each other the dough. Somehow, I love cookie dough more than the cookies.’

 

7. A Late Night On the Town: ‘I’m going to let my parenting side show here,’ Brusie admits. ‘But is there anything more reckless than a night of drinking with your man when you know you don’t have to get up with kids the next day? Call me crazy, but I can’t properly enjoy a night out if I know I have a morning in the next day. Babysitter + booze = night made.’

 

8. Shameless Netflix Marathons: Brusie points out, ‘We’ve all been there. But if you and your man can get on board with the same show? It’s a match made in sitcom heaven. My husband and I so rarely agree on TV shows, me being more Call The Midwife and he being all Star Trek every season that I don’t even count this one as guilty.’

 

9. Browsing Dream House Plans Together: ‘So you’ll never really be able to build that 4,000-square-foot home with the pool and swim-up bar,’ Brusie allows. ‘But it never hurts to look and dream together, right?’

 

10. Making Out in the Car: Brusie comments, ‘Don’t believe me? Give it a whirl, even if you’re just stopped in the grocery store parking lot. I’m not sure why this can be so exciting, but I guess we can all just be thankful that we are cheap dates these days.’

Categories: brusie, cookie dough, date night, guilty, guilty pleasures, ice cream, late night, long-term relationship, making plans, nbsp, night, night nbsp

Roommate Rut: How to Put Passion Back in Your Relationship

Things are comfortable between you and your partner – it works – but is your relationship really satisfying your overall wellbeing? You may have been together for years and run a household as smoothly as two people can, but didn’t you sign up for a husband, and not a roommate? Getting too comfortable with each other can impact your sexual health, leading your hot-and-heavy sex life to dwindle to a quickie every two months, and possibly on your anniversary. What happened to your sexual wellness as a couple? Where’s the libido? The passion? Why do you feel so lonely? This is a common scenario that Julie Orlov, psychotherapist and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery, comes across on a regular basis and, luckily, she can help.

 

According to Orlov, ‘If this scenario sounds familiar, you are not alone. Many couples, after some years have gone by, or when the kids have moved out, look at each other as if they are compatible roommates. And for many, there comes a time when that level of complacency is no longer acceptable. Couples hit a crossroad every few years and for most couples, this crossroad will be met at least once, if not more, throughout the lifetime of their relationship.’ However, the good news is that if your partner is more roommate than Romeo, there are things you can do to bring passion back into your relationship:

 

1. Start dating each other again: Orlov advises couples stuck in a rut to re-establish date nights ‘And I mean truly dating,’ she asserts. ‘Plan together, make reservations, pick meaningful, fun and varied activities and begin a flirtation. Pretend that you’re still courting each other, and put that level of attention into your dates.’

 

2. Make out: Be a teenager again, preferably in both public and private spaces! ‘Kissing creates intimacy,’ Orlov explains. ‘Start off slowly and watch the passion and tension build. Most couples stop kissing passionately on a regular basis after many years of being together. Make it part of your daily routine and see what happens. That quick goodbye peck could turn into something better.’

 

3. Do something new together: Whether you start a new hobby, take a class, or join a cause together, get out of that rut by trying something new, meaningful and fun that you can both enjoy. Orlov notes, ‘Doing something out of your comfort zone together creates collaboration and builds connection that might have gone stale.’

 

4. Get playful: Orlov suggests, ‘Tickle, tackle, wrestle, joke, do karaoke — whatever suits your fancy. Just remember to do it with vigour. Leave inhibitions behind and be willing to feel silly and foolish for a while. I promise any feelings of self-consciousness will pass and be replaced with feel-good hormones and enjoyment for one another.’

 

5. Redefine your relationship: Creating a vision together ‘is at the foundation of phase four in The Pathway to Love,’ says Orlov. ‘And is absolutely necessary in order to create a transformational relationship. Take the time and invest in your future. If you need help on how to do this, The Pathway to Love at-home programme shows you the way.’

 

6. Seek the advice of a professional: While the above steps can set you on your way to turning your roommate back into your lover, sometimes there are other factors at play that require professional help. Hormonal shifts, mood disorders, medical conditions, or relationship issues go beyond those of a typical long-term marriage slump, so don’t hesitate to seek professional help if this applies to you.

Categories: Couples, dates, long-term relationship, make out, nbsp, orlov, passion, regular basis, relationship