How To Have Better Sex, Starting Now

Fantastic, movie-like sexual experiences tend not to happen in everyday life – in fact, everyday life tends to get in the way of such romance and passion. It’s no-ones fault, but rather part of reality that time runs out and so does our desire to spend hours on romantic gestures and foreplay. You may find yourself questioning, at some point or another, ‘Is this all there is?’. The answer, of course, is no, or at least not all of the time. There is some middle ground between breath-taking sex and no sex at all – it’s just a case of finding it and improving on what you have already. Forget what the movies tell you; good sex requires some work and effort, not just on your partners part but yours as well. You need to take charge of your sex life if you’re not seeing the results you want. The first rule, if you’re single, is that you need to leave your home and meet people.

Great sex, and even great relationships, don’t happen overnight and they don’t happen while you’re spending all of your time indoors. It can be anything from forming a book club to taking up swimming or learning another language. You don’t need to spend every Saturday night dolled up in order to meet the love of your life – simply living your life is often the best way to find that special someone. But that doesn’t necessarily equate to a great sex life and that’s where taking control of your life comes into play. Making time is the first thing you need to do.

 

There are loads of articles and DVDs on the market targeting this very issue which can help you begin learning exactly what feels good. Do you prefer direct pleasure, hours or foreplay or a combination of the two? If you don’t know, find out! You need to know your body before you can even begin to expect someone else to know what to do in order to please you. Knowledge, it seems, is the easiest way to improve your sex life. You can do this with your partner or on your own. But if the concept of self-investigation makes you feel awkward, take it slow – do some research, set some time aside for just yourself and get to know yourself a little better. You may find reading up on the subject really helpful to give you ideas of ways to improve your sexual knowledge – there are plenty of books on the matter which have proven to be very popular and helpful. And sex toys can be really beneficial in helping you work out what you enjoy and what you don’t.

 

It could well be the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself. Learning to climax on your own is the first step towards having a fantastic sex life with your partner. But lust is, after all, essential to a good sex life, so don’t be afraid of slipping into a fantasy and enjoying yourself for a while.Go out, meet likeminded people and have some fun. Alternatively, if you’ve already found them, spend some time together getting to know each other again. Often, in relationships, we get trapped into a routine and it can remove all traces of romance and passion. So don’t be shy in sparking that passion again and taking time out of your day for each other to improve on the sex life you already have.

Categories: everyday life, life, meet, passion, Relationships, Sex, sex life, Sexual Wellness, spend, time

Three Steps To The Happiest Relationship Of Your Life

Everyone wants a happy relationship, but sometimes it can seem like you’re asking for the impossible. Psychologists have done some research into what’s required to create the happy and stable relationship we all want, and they’ve come to the conclusion that you need just three components: passion, shared interests and intimacy. You should think of your relationship as a three-legged stool – if you have all three components, the relationship will be stable. If not, things can get a bit wobbly. If your relationship is based on passion and intimacy, you have a romantic relationship. One which combines intimacy and shared interests but lacks the physical passion is known as a companionate relationship, and a relationship which has passion and shared interests but no intimacy is referred to as a shallow relationship.

The passion side of things comes from the way you see your partner – the excitement you feel at seeing them, at being turned on by them, and by sex. But more than just understanding how you rate the passion with your partner, you also need to remember that they will have a figure in mind for themselves as well – do they match up? If you rate the passion in your relationship as a 3, but they rate it as a 9, that could cause a problem. Passion doesn’t just have to be sex either – it can be a number of things, from holding hands to kissing. Think about the ways you’re passionate with your partner, and the ways perhaps you could increase this to become closer.

 

Shared interests are what make us connect with our partners on a more day-to-day basis. It’s fulfilling to have someone to share your common interests and goals with, as it helps us feel close to them. Try rating where you think you and your love are on a scale of one to ten in terms of shared interests, with one meaning you and your partner have no shared interests and ten meaning you do everything together. Then ask your partner. If you’re on the lower end of the scale, it’s not to say that your relationship is doomed to fail. But it could mean that you may benefit from taking up a hobby or activity together, or becoming more interested in what each of you do – if he likes golf and you like swimming, why don’t you try taking part in these activities as a couple sometimes to share the fun?

 

Lastly, intimacy is important in a relationship. But when people think about intimacy, they invariably think of sex. That’s not the only answer – are you close? Do you enjoy sharing confidences with each other? Do you have an honest, communicative relationship? There are so many ways to be intimate with someone, and it doesn’t have to rely on a great sex life. Enabling yourself to be vulnerable and letting your guard down is important to increase the level of trust, and to share yourself entirely and emotionally with another person. Once again, rate where you are together on a scale of one to ten. If you don’t consider your relationship to be particularly intimate, ask yourself what’s lacking – are you not being honest or communicating much with each other? Do you not feel as though you can share your innermost thoughts and feelings with one another? This may be something your relationship could benefit from if it’s lacking at the moment, and is something both of you can enjoy.

Categories: interests, Intimacy, passion, relationship, Relationships, Romance, shared, shared interests, trust

How to Make Sure You Have Hot, Memorable Sex

When was the last time you had a night of raw, sexual intimacy with your partner? Your sex life may be going along quite nicely, but if you don’t allow for occasional nights of passion, your sexual wellness and wellbeing could fade over time.

 

One such couple were John and Susan. Like most couples, when they first got together they enjoyed a very fulfilling and frequent sex life. They said that they could spend the day together doing chores and exercising, and end it on the sofa planning to watch a DVD, but get sidetracked and end up having passionate sex on the settee instead of watching the film.

 

The couple’s early days were filled with frequent, heart-pounding and noisy sex. Both John and Susan had suffered in nearly sexless previous relationships so were more keen than most to explore their sexuality and enjoy their bodies. The passion extended to late night sexy texts, calls, online sex and many, many hours spent in bed.

 

After a while, however, the couple got more comfortable with one another and life become more busy. Susan got a new job and sex became less frequent and more of a forced occasion. John felt deeply threatened by this change in their relationship, and also felt that, mentally, the couple had become somewhat disconnected. He felt that if they had more sex, things would improve between them, but this led to Susan feeling pressurised to have sex, and actually made things worse.

 

John decided to seek help from a therapist, who invited him to try various things such as exercising together, using lubricant or a vibrator together. John also read a number of self-help books, which detailed various positions to try, and also emphasised the importance of taking the pressure off and making sure you have good sex rather than frequent sex.

Categories: couple, frequent, frequent sex, john, memorable, nbsp, passion, Sex, sex life, susan

Sexual Health And The Difficulties Of Getting Older

Sometimes we associate getting older with a lack of intimacy and sexual passion in our lives. This is for a few reasons – for some reason it is deemed unacceptable to see older people being intimate together in the way that younger people are fine to be and perhaps it also to do with the more private natural of elder generations in society. It could also be related to the fact that sex becomes more difficult as we get older and there are increasing problems surrounding sexual intercourse that can be troublesome.

 

But this does not mean that all sexual feelings completely disappear as we get older – in fact they often still remain, and it is only this judgmental cliché that makes us think that older people cannot be passionate. But the truth of the matter is that of course they can, it can just be a little more difficult because there is a huge range of complications that can make it difficult. So the important this is to find ways to maintain the passion and spark that you have had your whole life. Here are the most important things to remember if you want to keep the passion in your life.

 

The number one thing that you need to remember if you want to keep love and sex as a priority in your life is that you should be regularly communication with your partner. Talking to your partner is the best way to air any doubt, worries or niggles that can eventually develop into something that is much larger. Set aside time to chat now and again and discuss sex. You can talk openly about what you want from your sex life and what they want from you. This can make the embarrassing process a little easier as you are both aware of each other’s desires and needs. And remember that you must be very honesty about the things that you are experiencing both physically and emotionally.

 

People of any age should be aware of how to practice safe sex, and remember that the things that you need to bear in mind will inevitably change as you get older. If you are past the stage of being able to conceive and have been with the same partner for a long time, it is fine to not use a condom as long as you are both free some sexually transmitted infections (STIs). But you must use a condom if you are going to be with a new partner, as you don’t know if they may have STIs and these can be very damaging for older people.

 

For men it is true that testosterone levels naturally take a dip as you get older. Testosterone is one of the most important factors in sex as it is one of the primary stimulants in a man’s body that makes him want to have sex. It is true that as men get older they are more likely to have erectile problems including that the penis may take longer and need more stimulation to get erect, and may only be able to achieve erections for a certain period of time. If this is afflicting you, it’s worth talking to your doctor about it.

 

For women there are many problems surrounding the onset of the menopause. Once again this is an issue that you can talk to your doctor about. For many women, the menopause is actually a good trait in terms of sex for the fact that it means they can have unprotected sex with their partner and not fear getting pregnant once again.

Categories: nbsp, older, older people, partner, passion, people, problems surrounding, remember, Sex

Roommate Rut: How to Put Passion Back in Your Relationship

Things are comfortable between you and your partner – it works – but is your relationship really satisfying your overall wellbeing? You may have been together for years and run a household as smoothly as two people can, but didn’t you sign up for a husband, and not a roommate? Getting too comfortable with each other can impact your sexual health, leading your hot-and-heavy sex life to dwindle to a quickie every two months, and possibly on your anniversary. What happened to your sexual wellness as a couple? Where’s the libido? The passion? Why do you feel so lonely? This is a common scenario that Julie Orlov, psychotherapist and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery, comes across on a regular basis and, luckily, she can help.

 

According to Orlov, ‘If this scenario sounds familiar, you are not alone. Many couples, after some years have gone by, or when the kids have moved out, look at each other as if they are compatible roommates. And for many, there comes a time when that level of complacency is no longer acceptable. Couples hit a crossroad every few years and for most couples, this crossroad will be met at least once, if not more, throughout the lifetime of their relationship.’ However, the good news is that if your partner is more roommate than Romeo, there are things you can do to bring passion back into your relationship:

 

1. Start dating each other again: Orlov advises couples stuck in a rut to re-establish date nights ‘And I mean truly dating,’ she asserts. ‘Plan together, make reservations, pick meaningful, fun and varied activities and begin a flirtation. Pretend that you’re still courting each other, and put that level of attention into your dates.’

 

2. Make out: Be a teenager again, preferably in both public and private spaces! ‘Kissing creates intimacy,’ Orlov explains. ‘Start off slowly and watch the passion and tension build. Most couples stop kissing passionately on a regular basis after many years of being together. Make it part of your daily routine and see what happens. That quick goodbye peck could turn into something better.’

 

3. Do something new together: Whether you start a new hobby, take a class, or join a cause together, get out of that rut by trying something new, meaningful and fun that you can both enjoy. Orlov notes, ‘Doing something out of your comfort zone together creates collaboration and builds connection that might have gone stale.’

 

4. Get playful: Orlov suggests, ‘Tickle, tackle, wrestle, joke, do karaoke — whatever suits your fancy. Just remember to do it with vigour. Leave inhibitions behind and be willing to feel silly and foolish for a while. I promise any feelings of self-consciousness will pass and be replaced with feel-good hormones and enjoyment for one another.’

 

5. Redefine your relationship: Creating a vision together ‘is at the foundation of phase four in The Pathway to Love,’ says Orlov. ‘And is absolutely necessary in order to create a transformational relationship. Take the time and invest in your future. If you need help on how to do this, The Pathway to Love at-home programme shows you the way.’

 

6. Seek the advice of a professional: While the above steps can set you on your way to turning your roommate back into your lover, sometimes there are other factors at play that require professional help. Hormonal shifts, mood disorders, medical conditions, or relationship issues go beyond those of a typical long-term marriage slump, so don’t hesitate to seek professional help if this applies to you.

Categories: Couples, dates, long-term relationship, make out, nbsp, orlov, passion, regular basis, relationship

Sustain The Passion In The Bedroom With These Tips

When a relationship is young, passion is something that comes easy. Because you don’t yet know all the details about your partner and there is still a lot of mystery between you, it is easy to be passionate and spontaneous. But as we get older and the relationship goes on for longer it is not uncommon for that lusty spark to fizzle and passion dissolves into the humdrum of routine. This is a shame because it doesn’t need to be that way and quite often people are still completely passionate about their partner – they have just forgotten how to show it.

 

So given that many people are still able to get passionate but need a little help in order to keep the spark in the bedroom, we’ve prepared a few tips for the worst things that you can do in the bedroom. The following list will show you the best ways to kill off the passion in your relationship and should definitely be avoided.

 

One – Avoid watching the TV in bed

Watching TV in bed is a way that will kill off passion very quickly. While it might seem like a good idea to get all cosy with your partner and watch the TV, it seems that actually this is a very bad thing for your sex life and keeping passion in the relationship. Research by an Italian sexologist even found that couples who have a TV in their bedroom have sex around half as much as couples who don’t. Also, certain programmes are known to be passion killers, especially violent shows and films. So definitely make the effort to avoid these and ideally avoid watching TV in your bedroom – it won’t do your passion levels any good at all.

 

Two – Don’t let the kids sleep in your bed

Some parents find that it is natural to sleep in the same bed as the baby early on in their life. While this may be a bonding session that means the baby is always close to you it can also grow into a habit and your child will want to sleep in the same bed as you as they get older. This means you can go for a long time where there is no real chance to have sex, because there is always a child in the bed with you. Make sure you get into the right habit early and get the child sleeping on their own as early as possible in their life – it will do your sex life wonders.

 

Three – Do not have bad breath in bed

Bad breath is one of the ultimate ways to kill passion stone dead. Even if your partner loves you very much, they won’t be turned on by you having bad breath. It is one thing that you definitely need to avoid if you want to keep the spark alive in your relationship. Regularly brush your teeth to keep your breath smelling fresh, but if you find that you still have an ongoing problem it might be worth going to the doctor about it as there may be ways they can help you.

 

Four – Avoid smoking before bed

Smoking is bad for you for a number of reasons and it is definitely something that is never sexy. As it was noted before bad breath is an unpleasant problem for keeping passion in the bedroom, and smoking will definitely worsen this. But that’s not the worst of it, you’ll also smell from the cigarette smoke and that is never a turn on in the bedroom.

Categories: avoid, avoid watching, bedroom, keeping passion, nbsp, passion, relationship, sex life, Smoking, watching tv

Lacking Passion? Try These Tricks to Bolster Your Sex Life

Every relationship loses its spark eventually where things in the bedroom are concerned, but you don’t need to accept this as fact and settle for a mediocre love life. With a few thoughtful additions to your love life, you can maintain the passion and enjoy a fulfilling sex life for many years. Here are some ideas that you could try to integrate into your sex life with your partner.

 

Surprise your partner with sex

Sex can become a little routine if you’re not careful to keep things interesting. Surprising your lover with sex will keep things passionate and exciting between you both. Why not try talking dirty to them when you’re in bed together, or make an unexpected visit to his workplace for a sneaky sex session on their lunch break? You could turn a regular night in watching the TV into something more exciting by masturbating next to your partner to get them in the mood for sex. Your creativity is limitless here – you can be as adventurous as you want to be.

Greet your lover at the door wearing nothing at all

This one speaks for itself – there’s no better way of getting your partner excited about the prospect of sex than surprising them after a long day of work wearing nothing at all. If you’re nervous about being so bold, you could make it a little tamer by wearing sexy underwear instead.

Take the lead

If you want something more exciting from your sex life, ask for it! Take some time out with your lover to be bold and make yourself heard. Tell them what you want from them during sex, speak up about your fantasies and give them directions on how to really please you. It doesn’t have to be an awkward conversation – take it slow, relax and simply strike up a flirty conversation about how you feel about your sex life to get the communication going. Be sure not to use criticism to get your point across though. Using praise is a far nicer and kinder way to make yourself heard.

Mimic a sexy film scene

Porn is great but it can seem a little unrealistic and full-on, particularly if you’re nervous about taking the lead in your sex life. So why not tone it down a little and recreate a sexy scene from a film instead? This can be easier to introduce as well – simply put the film on, and then start to touch your partner when the scene begins. It can happen more naturally and be quite sexy for the both of you. It might even give you some ideas for ways to spice up your sex life later on as well, with a new position or location where you could have sex. Be more open to new things and try to be bolder with your sexual experimentation – you may find you enjoy it more than you thought you would!

Start things outdoors and finish when you get home

If you want to make things a little more exciting, try starting something sexual when you’re out with your lover to make things more passionate when you get home. Why not try whispering something sexy to your partner when you’re out at dinner to get them aroused? You could try texting them with things you want to do to them when you see them as well, so that they’ll be thinking of you all day.

Categories: exciting, life, lover, partner, passion, Relationships, sex life, Sexual Wellness, sexy

Regain the Spark and Passion in Your Sex Life

Everyone longs to retain the early stages of a relationship, where everything is exciting and passionate. It’s natural for some of that excitement to dissipate when you’ve been together for a long time, but you don’t have to wave goodbye to all of the passion – there are ways to ensure that the spark you once enjoyed so much stays put well into your relationship. Staying sexy is the first trick to keeping the spark alive in your relationship, as this is key to retaining the romance. It’s easy to fall into the trap of getting too comfortable with your partner and giving up on things you did when you were first together, but don’t forget these – these are things which will ensure you don’t lose the passion. Try leaving your partner a love note for them to find during the day or when they get home – it’s a quick and easy way to remind your lover that you are thinking of them. You could either write them a note for them to find in their coat pocket, or leave them a steamy message on the bathroom mirror.  You don’t have to become a poet overnight for this trick to work – a simple “I can’t wait to see you tonight” or “Thinking of you” can prove to be very effective. Along these lines, why not surprise your partner with a romantic dinner. Opt out of the ritual Friday night takeaway and make something a little more special – light some candles, put some wine on to chill and enjoy some time together.

Fancy making an effort with your underwear? You could offer your lover a sexy lingerie fashion show, either in one night or a sneaky preview of each outfit throughout the week. There’s nothing better than seeing your partner in a skimpy, sexy outfit and this can be a fun way to spark some passion into your love life. Don’t wait for a special occasion to do something special for your loved one, though – surprising them is the best way to make them feel special and thought of. Why not make them their special meal one evening when they’re least expecting it or surprise them with a small but thoughtful gift.  If you’d rather surprise them with something a little sexier, there are plenty of toys and sexual enhancers on the market which can really ignite the passion into your sex life.

Your attitude towards sex and your relationship may be what needs to shift though. You need to start thinking about your relationship as a third party – you, your partner and your relationship all need to participate in order for you to be healthy. This means taking time to slow down and spend time together, without your kids and without talk of bills or work. Spend time together without being sexual and just be. These moments ensure that your relationship stays a happy one, and that you don’t get bogged down with the mundane aspects of a life together. This may be in the form of a date night once a week to keep the romance alive, making time to say goodbye or greet each other when you get home from work. These things may seem small and insignificant, but they make all the difference when you’ve been with someone a long time. Making the effort will mean the difference between losing the passion early and keeping that spark alive for years to come.

Categories: long time, partner, passion, relationship, sex and relationships, sex life, sexual health, spark alive, special, spend time, time