Why All Couples Have These Holiday Fights

The holidays are a stressful time for family wellness and wellbeing, and nearly all couples have fights during the holidays. What you need to do is just take a step back and think about the bigger picture, as it’s much better in the long run if you can keep your stress levels low.

 

If you look around you, you’ll see holiday stress and relationship dramas everywhere you look – not just with your friends and family but also at work and in the news. Unfortunately, being bombarded with these kinds of negative messages can make you feel nervous and anxious about your own relationship. If you start thinking negatively, it’s far too easy to let all the little things turn into major fights.

 

Instead, you need to totally transform your mindset. Start thinking that the holidays are going to be great, and you are much likely to find that this comes true. Stay connected with your partner, and you are more likely to avoid those holiday blowups that everyone is so susceptible to.

 

One reason why many people fight during the holidays is that it is a time when you are obligated to spend time with family members. You may find that one half of the partnership is looking forward to seeing a long-lost family member whilst the other person in the relationship is resentful about having to spend the holidays with them.

 

A great way to avoid this is to make sure that you don’t plan to spend 24 hours a day with your family. Of course you want to spend time with them, but you don’t need to spend all the time possible with them, especially if you want to keep a happy, healthy balance in your marriage. When making plans for the holidays, make sure that you build in time to escape, just you and your partner, for a bit of one-on-one time together. You can go for a coffee and just have a chance to chat, clear the air and keep on track with your relationship.

Categories: couple, Family, Fight, holiday, holidays, nbsp, spend, spend time, time

Regain the Spark and Passion in Your Sex Life

Everyone longs to retain the early stages of a relationship, where everything is exciting and passionate. It’s natural for some of that excitement to dissipate when you’ve been together for a long time, but you don’t have to wave goodbye to all of the passion – there are ways to ensure that the spark you once enjoyed so much stays put well into your relationship. Staying sexy is the first trick to keeping the spark alive in your relationship, as this is key to retaining the romance. It’s easy to fall into the trap of getting too comfortable with your partner and giving up on things you did when you were first together, but don’t forget these – these are things which will ensure you don’t lose the passion. Try leaving your partner a love note for them to find during the day or when they get home – it’s a quick and easy way to remind your lover that you are thinking of them. You could either write them a note for them to find in their coat pocket, or leave them a steamy message on the bathroom mirror.  You don’t have to become a poet overnight for this trick to work – a simple “I can’t wait to see you tonight” or “Thinking of you” can prove to be very effective. Along these lines, why not surprise your partner with a romantic dinner. Opt out of the ritual Friday night takeaway and make something a little more special – light some candles, put some wine on to chill and enjoy some time together.

Fancy making an effort with your underwear? You could offer your lover a sexy lingerie fashion show, either in one night or a sneaky preview of each outfit throughout the week. There’s nothing better than seeing your partner in a skimpy, sexy outfit and this can be a fun way to spark some passion into your love life. Don’t wait for a special occasion to do something special for your loved one, though – surprising them is the best way to make them feel special and thought of. Why not make them their special meal one evening when they’re least expecting it or surprise them with a small but thoughtful gift.  If you’d rather surprise them with something a little sexier, there are plenty of toys and sexual enhancers on the market which can really ignite the passion into your sex life.

Your attitude towards sex and your relationship may be what needs to shift though. You need to start thinking about your relationship as a third party – you, your partner and your relationship all need to participate in order for you to be healthy. This means taking time to slow down and spend time together, without your kids and without talk of bills or work. Spend time together without being sexual and just be. These moments ensure that your relationship stays a happy one, and that you don’t get bogged down with the mundane aspects of a life together. This may be in the form of a date night once a week to keep the romance alive, making time to say goodbye or greet each other when you get home from work. These things may seem small and insignificant, but they make all the difference when you’ve been with someone a long time. Making the effort will mean the difference between losing the passion early and keeping that spark alive for years to come.

Categories: long time, partner, passion, relationship, sex and relationships, sex life, sexual health, spark alive, special, spend time, time

Is Your Sex Drive at Odds with Your Partner’s?

Desire disparity can put an enormous amount of stress on couples, creating a gap in the relationship that can be difficult to repair. Feeling rejected is tough on anyone’s self esteem, but this is especially the case then the person doing the rejecting is your own partner. When you are in a relationship, it is assumed that you are always intimate and sexual with one another, but this is not always the case for many couples. For people trying to get their partner to engage in sexual activity, it can seem as though they are under a lot of pressure to get their partner to perform, sometimes feeling as though they are harassing them to face the issue. It’s often difficult to find a healthy balance between not wanting to feel pressured but also making your partner happy. When we seek fulfillment from another person, we are always going to be disappointed – not because that person is bound to fail us, but because our fulfillment should first and foremost come from ourselves. Once you’re able to find sexual and sensual pleasure for yourself, you won’t rely quite so heavily on your partner. And once that stress has been lifted, your partner might then feel more able to initiate sex without feeling pressured into it.

 

Firstly, discover what it is you want from your sexual relationship – is it intimacy you’re craving, or passion? Do you want to live out fantasies or try new experiences? Once you’re clear on what you want, how much you want it and where, sex with your partner will have more of a direction. Take some time to note down the feelings and emotions you attribute to sex, as well as fantasies and desires you have – searching for the answers to these questions may take some time but it will be well worth it. Find methods of pleasuring yourself that don’t involve your partner too, within the boundaries of your relationship. Perhaps you may want to buy a vibrator or sex toys so that you can spend time exploring your sexuality and what you do and don’t like. Practice makes perfect, after all, so this time is really crucial. Don’t just masturbate and hope that that will solve the issue; you really need to get to the emotional route of why you’re desiring what you are. This discovery is really helpful in you deciphering what you want out of sex. You can then start to include your partner.

Naturally, some areas of your sexual fulfillment can’t be achieved with your partner, but a healthy sexual relationship is important for any happy couple. Discuss with them your findings from your sexual discovery, and how you want them to be involved. Make a list if you find this to be an easier way of communicating, or you can spend time sharing stories and desires as a couple. However you decide to do it, be clear and honest about your feelings. Agree on a sexual culture and way of making you both happy – perhaps you could switch between having the kind of sex you each like, so that both partner gets to have a sexually satisfying experience without making the other feel like their thoughts on the matter have been excluded. Sex should be a happy and intimate time, but it should also be fair on each party – constantly having one type of sex means one member of that couple is being ignored and their ideas rejected which can be difficult to get over. Spend time making each other feel happy and satisfied, and this will translate into a happier relationship and a better sex life.

Categories: Couples, feel, partner, relationship, Relationships, Sex, sexual, sexual relationship, spend time, time