Blow Him Away: How to Give Your Partner Amazing Oral Sex

Oral sex can be seen as somewhat of a chore by both men and women. Men aren’t really into foreplay – unless they’re on the receiving end – and women often fear the daunting task of a “blow job.” However, oral sex can be a wonderful part of your sexual health and wellbeing. If done right, it can be satisfying for both of you, so stop thinking of it as a “job” and take up these hot tips for blowing your partner away.

 

1. Take Control: According to Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson, authors of Bedded Bliss, oral sex ‘can be one of the most empowering things to do because you’re taking charge of his pleasure. That can amp up your own arousal.’ You also have the opportunity to be adventurous, playful and fun. Wellness writer Anna Davies instructs, ‘Do what feels best for you—and by all means request that he return the favour. Once you’re ready, start slowly and maintain eye contact as you begin to move your hand up and down his shaft. If you’d like, prep the area by adding a bit of flavoured lube that’s safe for consumption, like Babeland’s Babelicious line, which can make the act a little more palatable and help any initial hand actions go more smoothly.’

 

2. Linger: Davies notes, ‘Nothing about a blowjob should be fast—he wants to savour it, and you’ll love making him squirm. So start slow by grazing your mouth against his penis as you continue moving your hand up and down his lubricated shaft. One more thing: At this point, it’s all right if he’s not entirely erect. In fact, it’s normal for his erection to ebb and flow during oral sex, and it’s not indicative of his pleasure.’

 

3. Ask About It: California-based sexologist Amy Marsh points out that asking him to tell you when a move really turns him on adds to the mood, and will make it even better next time. ‘Being honest about how it feels will boost enjoyment on both sides,’ says Marsh.

 

4. Take It an Inch at a Time: Marsh warns, ‘Gagging takes you both out of the moment, and you and he will enjoy oral sex much more when you’re both having fun.’ Davies outlines, ‘To simulate deep throating, you want to use some combination of your mouth, tongue and hands…Move your mouth and hand in a rhythmic motion. Always let him know what you don’t like when you’re going down on him, whether it be holding your head or thrusting strongly.’

 

5. Take a Lipstick Break: ‘Awkward angles and jaw pain can make it hard to enjoy oral sex, so take some breaks,’ Davies advises. ‘You could try the “lipstick technique” for a bit: Use your hand to brush the head of his penis against the outline of your lips, taking the head in your mouth between outlines for added lubrication.’

 

6. Focus on the Frenulum: There’s a bundle of nerves in the frenulum, so flick it with the tip of your tongue. Davies recommends, ‘Circle the head of the penis slowly, stopping each time you hit this pleasure spot.’

 

7. Lick It: Davies explains, ‘Licking his penis like you’re licking an ice cream cone is a guy-pleaser for a reason: Not only does a regular rhythm help get him even more worked up, but it gives you a chance to get into a groove.’ Marsh adds, ‘Creating a steady rhythm is what builds and sustains excitement.’

 

8. Commit: Michaels and Johnson note, ‘Conveying your genuine enthusiasm is the biggest turn-on. The more pleasure you feel, and the more you can get across that you’re enjoying the act, the more pleasure your partner will receive in turn.’

Categories: control, davies, frenulum, hand, nbsp, oral, oral sex, pleasure

Blow Him Away: How to Give Your Partner Amazing Oral Sex

Oral sex can be seen as somewhat of a chore by both men and women. Men aren’t really into foreplay – unless they’re on the receiving end – and women often fear the daunting task of a “blow job.” However, oral sex can be a wonderful part of your sexual health and wellbeing. If done right, it can be satisfying for both of you, so stop thinking of it as a “job” and take up these hot tips for blowing your partner away.

 

1. Take Control: According to Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson, authors of Bedded Bliss, oral sex ‘can be one of the most empowering things to do because you’re taking charge of his pleasure. That can amp up your own arousal.’ You also have the opportunity to be adventurous, playful and fun. Wellness writer Anna Davies instructs, ‘Do what feels best for you—and by all means request that he return the favour. Once you’re ready, start slowly and maintain eye contact as you begin to move your hand up and down his shaft. If you’d like, prep the area by adding a bit of flavoured lube that’s safe for consumption, like Babeland’s Babelicious line, which can make the act a little more palatable and help any initial hand actions go more smoothly.’

 

2. Linger: Davies notes, ‘Nothing about a blowjob should be fast—he wants to savour it, and you’ll love making him squirm. So start slow by grazing your mouth against his penis as you continue moving your hand up and down his lubricated shaft. One more thing: At this point, it’s all right if he’s not entirely erect. In fact, it’s normal for his erection to ebb and flow during oral sex, and it’s not indicative of his pleasure.’

 

3. Ask About It: California-based sexologist Amy Marsh points out that asking him to tell you when a move really turns him on adds to the mood, and will make it even better next time. ‘Being honest about how it feels will boost enjoyment on both sides,’ says Marsh.

 

4. Take It an Inch at a Time: Marsh warns, ‘Gagging takes you both out of the moment, and you and he will enjoy oral sex much more when you’re both having fun.’ Davies outlines, ‘To simulate deep throating, you want to use some combination of your mouth, tongue and hands…Move your mouth and hand in a rhythmic motion. Always let him know what you don’t like when you’re going down on him, whether it be holding your head or thrusting strongly.’

 

5. Take a Lipstick Break: ‘Awkward angles and jaw pain can make it hard to enjoy oral sex, so take some breaks,’ Davies advises. ‘You could try the “lipstick technique” for a bit: Use your hand to brush the head of his penis against the outline of your lips, taking the head in your mouth between outlines for added lubrication.’

 

6. Focus on the Frenulum: There’s a bundle of nerves in the frenulum, so flick it with the tip of your tongue. Davies recommends, ‘Circle the head of the penis slowly, stopping each time you hit this pleasure spot.’

 

7. Lick It: Davies explains, ‘Licking his penis like you’re licking an ice cream cone is a guy-pleaser for a reason: Not only does a regular rhythm help get him even more worked up, but it gives you a chance to get into a groove.’ Marsh adds, ‘Creating a steady rhythm is what builds and sustains excitement.’

 

8. Commit: Michaels and Johnson note, ‘Conveying your genuine enthusiasm is the biggest turn-on. The more pleasure you feel, and the more you can get across that you’re enjoying the act, the more pleasure your partner will receive in turn.’

Categories: control, davies, frenulum, hand, nbsp, oral, oral sex, pleasure

Buying Condoms: How to Know What to Choose

There are many good reasons to use a condom: as well as protecting you against unplanned pregnancies, they also protect your sexual wellness and wellbeing from sexually transmitted diseases and infections. With so many different types of condoms on the market, however, it can be very hard to know which is the best type to choose.

 

Fortunately, a recent survey has been conducted into the different types of condoms and how they rate against one another, and we have the results of that survey right here.

 

Rated as the best all round condom, the Trojan Ultra Ribbed Ecstasy topped the poll from the lucky testers, who said that this was their all-round favourite out of all the different types. This is shaped like a baseball bat which allows more movement inside it and it has two sets of ribs, as well as being lubricated both inside and out. Testers said that the lube lasted a long time and that women loved the sensation of the ribs.

 

Specifically for male pleasure, the LifeStyles X2 rated at the top of the poll. These are lubricated both inside and out, and they contain a special supplement called L’arginine, which is intended to heighten the sensation for men, and testers said that they could tell the difference. Some testers described the sensation as a ‘cool, tingly feeling’ but others felt that it was too cold and made them lass less long than they would have liked.

 

For female pleasure, the Trojan Here Pleasure Ecstasy was (unsurprisingly perhaps) the highest rated condom. This one is shaped like a slim version of a lightbulb and contains ribs around the base which are intended to enhance the pleasure for women. Some men felt that it was too roomy as they were worried it would slip off but women reported that they loved the sensation and that it had a natural feel to it too.

Categories: buy, choose, Condoms, nbsp, pleasure, sensation, testers, types

Take Things Slow: Having Sex Should Be Savoured

We think of sex as the most passionate act that we are capable of – emerging from the history of animal lust, sex is one of the most instinctive and primal things that we do. So perhaps the leads us to believe that sex needs to be a passionate affair – slightly aggressive and fast. Certainly this idea is often show to us in film and TV; it’s rare to see sex as something that happens slowly and calmly, instead it’s all about being lost in a moment and acting on instinct. It some ways this can be a very good thing – after all spontaneity is a vital role in keeping sex interesting. But spontaneity doesn’t have to mean rushing things; there is the increasing belief that we are beginning to take sex too quickly.

 

In the search for the sometimes elusive orgasm, it is true that we sometimes lose sight that often the quickest way is not the best way and that we would do well to slow down our love making and focus on enjoying the act itself, not just the finish. After all if you are only thinking about the payoff at the end of the sexual intercourse, you can miss out on all of the fun and pleasure that it actually takes to get there.

 

Indeed some people who equate sex only with orgasm and not see the value of sex beyond it. It’s also true that if we fail to orgasm during intercourse it can be seen as a failure or a waste, when in reality a lot of sex does not need to end in orgasm. We too often buy into the myth that sex is orgasmic and should always be, but it is not the case. Sex is a very complicated act and there are many ways to derive pleasure from it – not just the obvious one. According to one statistic only around 30 per cent of women reliably and regularly orgasm through sex – and women can find it very difficult to achieve orgasm. This leads to another statistic that probably will not come as a surprise – around 45 per cent of women admit to sometimes faking an orgasm when making love.

 

These kinds of statistics clearly show that sex is about more than just the orgasm at the end. The unfortunate problem is that because women feel the need to fake the orgasm, they can then get stuck in a cycle where their partner believes they are doing the right thing, so the woman never manages to orgasm. This can lead to resentment and a lack of enjoyment during sex. So rather than faking enjoying it, it’s a much better idea to look at what needs to change so that you can get the most pleasure out of your time in bed.

 

The best plan, of course, is to focus on what you really enjoy when having sex and that often means slowing things down and doing them more often. Getting more of the things that you like during sex makes you feel more turned on and enjoy your time in bed a lot more. It also means you are more likely to be able to achieve orgasm which would be a nice end to your sexual experience. But it’s also key to remember that this doesn’t have to feel like something you need to have every time. If you don’t, just enjoy it for what it was and be sure to talk to your partner about how you can improve things next time around.

Categories: achieve orgasm, nbsp, orgasm, pleasure, Sex, slow, time, Women

Does Circumcision Make Sex Better or Worse?

Circumcision has a big impact on men’s sexual health and wellness. While some research suggests that the practice of surgically removing the foreskin reduces your risk of STDs, HIV and other infections, circumcision has been suggested to negatively affect your sexual wellbeing; reducing the pleasure you feel during sex. Let’s take a look at some of the questions surrounding circumcision.

 

1. How does circumcision affect the sensitivity of your penis?

According to Men’s Health Physician and Medical Sex Therapist Dr Vijaysarathi Ramanathan, “Circumcision in infants and youngsters (who’ve never experienced having a foreskin) shouldn’t be much of a problem because they’ve programmed their mind and penis to be sensitive without the foreskin. However, if a person has experience having a foreskin and has to lose it later in life, they may feel it’s different and they are not getting the same pleasure as before.” Dr Ramanathan adds that, for the same reason, there’s nothing to suggest that circumcision makes oral sex any different.

 

2. Does circumcision prevent or cause STIs?

‘There is some protection against infections but there is still a big debate on whether it adds more benefit than wearing a condom,’ Dr Ramanathan explains. However, he warns that hygiene is a key concern for men who are not circumcised. Dr Ramanathan advises, ‘if they can retract and clean with water, then it shouldn’t make any difference. Remember, cleaning with water is more than adequate and DO NOT use soap as it alters the pH and can cause some fungal infections.’

 

3. Is there ever a medical reason to get a circumcision?

Dr Ramanthan says that circumcision is only warranted if your foreskin is infected and you’re unable to pass urine, but a routine medical procedure it doesn’t have much value. He adds, ‘The history of circumcision goes long back and one of the key reasons to do circumcision was to discourage boys from masturbating. This was a time when medical professionals were convinced that masturbation is the cause for infections like syphilis and that circumcision is the cure. [This] is now seen as unethical and it breeches the sexual rights of that person. Each individual must be able to make an informed decision whether or not they want to circumcise.’

Categories: circumcision, dr ramanathan, foreskin, Infections, Medical, pleasure, ramanathan, STI

The Condom Con: Sex is Just as Satisfying with a Condom

Condoms really aren’t that inconvenient, and don’t make sex any less satisfying. This is according to a study published in January by the Journal of Sexual Medicine, which found that the ease of men’s erections based on condom and lubricant use had no significant impact on their sexual pleasure.

The study’s lead author Debby Herbenick, associate research scientist and co-director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University in Bloomington, explained, ‘There’s this commonly held belief that condom use makes sex feel less natural or pleasurable, but when people use them, sex happens to be great.’ The study was based on data from the 2009 National Survey of Sexual Health, including responses from 5,865 men and women ages 18 to 59 on their latest sexual encounter.

The maker of Trojan Brand condoms, Church & Dwight Co, Inc., funded the study. Lee Heerten, sexual health coordinator for the University Health Centre, commented, ‘I’ve met some of the researchers at Trojan’s. They do take ethics really seriously. That’s important when you have a company funding this research.’ He added, ‘The Centres for Disease Control probably funds the majority of research related to sexual health, and it’s very negative-focused. I’m glad there are companies like Trojan out there funding research on a pleasure basis, because I think that’s important to people.’

So how do a couple come to the decision to use a condom or not? Heerten noted condom availability and ability to find the “right condom for them” were two of many reasons that factor into a couple’s condom use. According to Heerten, ‘A lot of pleasure and condom usage comes down to having the right fit. People don’t understand condoms come in different sizes. They might try one condom and not like it, and decide condoms are not for them, when really that might not be the case.’

He commented that the reason why you may choose not to use a condom might be because of your religious beliefs, or because you’ve had too much to drink and simply forgot – which, if you have no other method of contraception, could put your wellbeing at risk to STIs and unintended pregnancy. Heerten concluded, ‘I think often times when we talk about sexual health, we think about negative outcomes that can occur. We don’t think about the positive things it brings to peoples’ lives. Pleasure is one of those things.’

Categories: Condoms, pleasure, Research

But Condoms Make Sex Less Fun, Right? Study Busts Myth

Condoms are vital to sexual health, as they guard your wellness against STIs as well as pregnancy. However, you might be tempted not to use condoms, as many believe that they limit the pleasure of sex – which is another significant, albeit less crucial, aspect of sexual wellbeing. Yet a new study, published in the peer-reviewed Journal of Sexual Medicine, has found that this is all a myth, and condoms don’t decrease sexual pleasure at all.

For the study, researchers from Indiana University, US, surveyed 1,645 men and women aged 18 to 59. Participants were asked to report on their most recent sexual event with a partner in the past year, as well as the sexual behaviour associated with this event (such as giving or receiving oral sex, vaginal intercourse, receptive or insertive anal intercourse). Of those surveyed, a disappointing 27.5% of men (237) and 22.3% of women (175) reported using a condom.

The results of the study showed that women knew less about condoms than men, as 26.6% of women, and only 11.4% of men, were unsure whether the condom was lubricated, and a similar proportion did not know which material the condom was made out of. This has important implications, as some types of lubricants (oil-based) should not be used with certain types of condoms (such as latex). However, when it came to using the condom, participants consistently rated sex as arousing and pleasurable regardless of whether they used condoms or lubricant. The study also didn’t find any significant differences in men’s ratings of the ease of maintaining their erection based on condom and lubricant use.

While most of the results of this survey appear to undermine the widespread belief that condoms can interfere with sexual pleasure, you should also be aware that the study only provided a limited snapshot of sexual behaviour based on an online questionnaire about one sexual encounter. The group was a predominantly white, heterosexual sample, and the results are only based on people who reported having penile-vaginal intercourse in their last ‘event’, and not those who reported same-sex encounters. Yet, the takeaway message remains the same: condoms are one of the best ways of protecting against STIs and unwanted pregnancy, and a perceived lack of pleasure shouldn’t prevent you from using them.

Categories: Condoms, pleasure, Research