Getting the Balance: How to Be a Realistic Optimist at Work

When you think of work, “optimism” might not be the first word that comes to mind, but it plays a huge role in your corporate wellness, and overall wellbeing. In his book Learned Optimism, world renowned psychologist Martin Seligman notes that optimistic people:

 

• Are physically healthier and suffer less depression.


• Are persistent, resilient and get better results.


• Are not overwhelmed by adversity.


• Rebound quickly following defeats.


• Cope well with frustration, rejection and stress.


• Do not dwell on or punish themselves over failures.


• Maintain confidence and determination following setbacks.

 

However, Rachel Clements, BSc Hons, M Psych, MAPS, co-founder and Director of Psychological Services and Principal Organisational Psychologist at the Centre for Corporate Health, points out that a balance is needed between seeing the glass as half-full, and overfilling the glass with cheery expectations. According to Clements, being overly optimistic isn’t useful as ‘we may not see a potential problem, not take responsibility for things that we should or rely too much on wishful thinking. The extreme optimist may also view themselves as having no faults and brilliant in every respect. What we aim for instead is a level of “healthy optimism” where the “healthy optimist” is able to balance taking on too much or too little responsibility and balance being pessimistic and optimistic when it is useful, depending on the situation.’

 

So how do you achieve the right balance of optimism and pessimism?

 

1. Take up relaxing activities: Clements explains, ‘Undertaking activities such as regular exercise, yoga, pilates, mindfulness or mediation can provide us with a sense of space whereby we are not processing intellectual information so quickly, we are less distracted by the external world and we are able to tune in to our body and listen to what it is telling us. This assists us in moving our attention from our head to our heart. In making this shift we may be able to more easily detect how we are feeling and what we need to do get back on track.’

 

2. Be conscious of balancing your energy levels throughout the day: ‘If you have had a busy day with long hours and demanding work,’ Clements details. ‘Make sure you do something during the day (such as getting out of the office at lunch time, even if it’s for only 15-30 minutes) or doing something after work (such as exercise, meeting up with a friend or a going to bed early) to replenish your energy levels.’

 

3. Choose your words: Clements warns, ‘Be careful of perfectionistic self-talk such as when using phrases like “I must” or “I should” or “he has to” or “she needs to”. Ask yourself, are implicit expectations and inflexible rules dominating your thinking? How else could you frame your statements so that they are less emotionally charged (for example “I prefer” or “I choose” or “he could consider” or “she may like to know”).

 

4. Be realistic, but notice good things: ‘Learn to set realistic goals and recognise and celebrate your successes,’ Clements advises. ‘Become an expert on knowing what you can control and what you can’t. Save your energy for the things you can influence, such as how you go about your work, and learn to let go of the things you cannot control such as other people’s behaviour. Let’s face it, much of what we actually experience in life is outside of our control.’

 

5. Practise makes perfect: Clements recommends, ‘Practise optimistic thinking by making a conscious effort to think of one positive thing every time you find yourself focused on a negative thought or judgement. Or, keep a diary of the positive things that you did or that happened today, to help develop a broader thinking style.’

Categories: Balance, clements, energy levels, nbsp, optimism, realistic, Thinking, work

Are You Setting Realistic Goals For Weight Loss?

Weight loss can be a hard slog. While the pounds seem to pile on remarkably quickly, taking them back off again is a much tougher task. And for many of us, the failure to see a rapid loss is what makes us lose heart.

So the key to achieving the weight loss you desire is to set realistic goals at the start. It’s too easy to get hung up on the overall weight loss when the only strategy that properly works is eating less and moving more. Don’t get suckered into fads or crash diets that promise instantaneous loss with little effort and no pain – they really do not work.

A realistic goal is a weight loss of 1-2lbs per week. That loss is not only sustainable but is more likely to stay off than any sudden drop because you’ve starved yourself for a month – that weight is likely to go straight back on as soon as you start eating normally again.

So, say you want to lose a total of three stones. Instead of having that figure in your head, looming over every food decision, why not set an initial goal of shedding 7lbs? And when you’ve lost that half a stone, set a new goal of losing another half a stone and so on until you’ve achieved your original desire of losing three stones in total.

Here’s another realistic goal – change your diet and exercise habits. This is for the longer term and one that will hopefully pay off with better health. Bin the unhealthy food, such as ready meals and processed products, and include more fresh fruit and vegetables in your daily diet. Set yourself a goal of doing half an hour of strenuous activity, the sort of cardio that gets your heart rate up, three times a week. It doesn’t have to be in the gym, you don’t have to join a class.

Go swimming, power walk or cycle – all are simple but effective ways to get fit. And saying that you’ll walk or swim is a much more realistic promise to yourself than vowing to the gym five times a week.

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Are You Setting Realistic Goals For Weight Loss?

Categories: Goals, realistic, Weight Loss