Make Sex Normal: Are You Comfortable Talking About It?

Is sex still a taboo subject today? Absolutely. While you may think that sex is prominent in the media, we still seem to have trouble talking or even thinking about it. Enter Debby Herbenick, PHD, a sexual health educator at the Kinsey Institute who has created a new website called Make Sex Normal, in order to get us talking comfortably about sex. According to Herbenick, when you can talk about sex, you’ll see major wellness benefits in your relationships, health, and of course, desire.

 

Herbenick, who is the author of books such as Sex Made Easy and Great In Bed, is used to bringing up the bedroom on a daily basis. ‘My colleagues and I joke about how normal and mundane all of this stuff is in our lives,’ she says. ‘What that does for all of us is we’ve become more comfortable over time and it impacts our personal lives. It’s easier for us to talk about sex with our partners and bring up sex issues that we might have with our doctors.’ Herbenick points out that many physical and psychological issues impact your sex life, and so voicing bedroom problems to your doctor can help you find a diagnosis and a solution. But what are her top tips for making sex normal?

 

1. Baby Steps: Herbenick asserts, ‘There’s a whole menu out there when it comes to sex…Everyone has to figure out where their starting place is and push themselves just a little outside their comfort zone.’ To help you figure out your starting place, Casey Gueren, Associate Editor at Womens Health, suggests, ‘Make a list of all the sexual things you’re curious about, interested in trying, or already know that you like…If you know what gets you off, it’ll be way easier to communicate that to your guy.’

 

2. Read Erotica…In Public: Gueren notes, ‘If the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon taught us anything, it’s that lit-erotica is a great way to get women thinking and talking about sex. So don’t let the trend end with Christian Grey—pick up a few sex books…and read them on the train or in the coffee shop.’ Herbenick explains that reading sex books in public ‘may help you feel more comfortable and confident in your sexual skin, and it also sends a message to everyone around you that sex is a regular part of life.’ However, if that’s a little too scary for your liking, try putting a different cover on your sex book or read it on your kindle – you’ll still feel that little bit naughty.

 

3. Shop Sexier: ‘Even though you can purchase sex toys and find porn from the privacy of your computer, there’s something to be said for visiting a sex shop,’ Gueren comments. ‘You can go solo, with girlfriends, or with your partner—whatever you’re most comfortable with. The important thing is just to set foot in the store. Not only will it put you in a sexual space that you might normally shy away from, but it also gives you the opportunity to explore new things and learn from sex educators who often work at the shops.’

 

4. Plan a Sexy Date: Herbenick advises finding ways to talk to your partner about sex before you even get to the bedroom, such as emailing him an article about a hot new position or visiting a sex museum together. She asserts, ‘It gives you a chance to talk about it so you’re not just whipping out a sex toy.’ Moreover, according to a study in the Journal of Sex Research, experimenting sexually leads to greater relationship satisfaction and intimacy.

Categories: comfortable, Communication, erotica, herbenick, nbsp, sex books, sex normal, sex shop, talk, talking

How to Use Erotica to Help Spice Up Your Sex Life?

Erotica is sexual literature, designed to arouse your interest. It can be used as part of a healthy sex life and can even have a beneficial effect on your wellness and wellbeing, if used well. Sometimes erotica enhances a sexual experience, and it can be used alone or in couples.

 

Erotica generally refers to a loving interaction rather than a purely sexual one. It is generally the term that is used to refer to written materials that are sexually explicit in nature, or to visual images such as films, drawing or photographs based around a sexual subject. Sometimes sex toys (devices used during intercourse to enhance the sexual experience) can be considered erotica, too.

 

Erotica – especially the sexually explicit visual and written form – dates back to ancient times and exists across a number of different cultures. With the modern legal system arriving, some sexually explicit material can now be classed as obscene, depending on just how explicit it is and how the interpreter can view it.

 

There are standards for legal obscenity that have been set with the US Supreme Court, but they can be very difficult to apply on a case-by-case basis. There is no specific formula that can be used to decide whether something is erotica or obscenity and so these things are often decided by individuals or communities.

 

Viewing or reading erotica can help to provide the person in question with a sound knowledge or understanding of sexual anatomy and behaviour. Sometimes, erotic materials can be used to help spark sexual arousal as quickly as possible. Some people use these types of materials to help accompany masturbation.

 

Erotica triggers the imagination and allows people to give in to forbidden or difficult areas of their sexuality within a controlled and safe environment.

Categories: erotica, explicit, materials, nbsp, nbsp erotica, sex life, sexual, sexual experience, sexually explicit, visual, written

The Best Kept Sexual Secrets That Most Men Don’t Know

There are a lot of things that men don’t know about female sexuality and sexual wellness. To safeguard their own wellbeing through self-confidence and self-esteem, women often don’t reveal their deepest sexual secrets to men – and of course some women are not even aware of how much men don’t know about how they tick!

 

First of all, did you know that women get turned on by other women? We’re not saying that all women are lesbians, of course, or anything like that, but women get aroused by a huge variety of erotica, including scenarios that involve two women. Whilst this does not mean that your partner is likely to be suggesting a threesome with the receptionist from your office, it does mean that they can become aroused by different images to the ones their partners may expect. This is entirely different to straight men, who do not generally become aroused by homosexual erotica (and indeed gay men, who do not become aroused by heterosexual erotica).

 

Body image is also very closely connected to sexuality for women. Women who feel great about their bodies (and their genitals in particular) are far more likely to be sexually open, will find it easier to reach orgasm, and are more likely to take care of their bodies, such as doing breast exams on themselves or attending gynaecological examinations.

 

Women also fear emotional infidelity from their significant others far more than physical infidelity (and for men it is the exact opposite). Women dislike the idea of male/female friendships, flirting, platonic lunches and ex-girlfriends as they feel that they are a threat.

 

Women can also be physically aroused without being mentally ‘in the mood’. The body can become aroused even if a woman is not feeling sexually attracted to their partner (which is why prostitutes can work even if they do not feel attracted to their clients).

Categories: aroused, erotica, feel, men don, nbsp, nbsp women, Sex, sexual secrets, sexuality, Women