How to Talk To A Friend About Their Substance Abuse

 

If your friend is suffering from a substance abuse disorder, you do not have to stand by and watch them destroy themselves and their relationships. By taking a proactive approach, you can help them get back on track to a better quality of life. Here is how to talk to a friend who is abusing substances.

 

1. Analyze the situation.

Although you are probably eager to talk to your friend about your concerns, you should first carefully analyze the situation so you know the best way to tackle the topic. Does your friend increasingly have problems with relationships, finances and the law due to their habit? How has their substance abuse been affecting you specifically? Also, speak to mutual friends and family members of the substance abuser to confirm that they have noticed the same issues.

 

2. Tell your friend how you feel.

In a place where you are unlikely to be overheard or interrupted, express your concerns to your friend. Have a prepared list that details the negative effects their substance abuse has been causing for them and others. Florida Attorneys Andrew Moses and Jay Rooth say substance abusers typically do not realize how many people can be harmed by their actions, especially if they have a habit of getting behind the wheel while under the influence. Bringing this situation into the open is essential to break through the wall your friend may have constructed to hide the substance abuse.

 

3. Avoid making your friend feel defensive.

Defensiveness is likely to result if you are accusatory or argumentative. Talk about the actions of your friend in relation to the substance abuse instead of assassinating their character. For example, tell them how much they mean to you and explain that you blame their behavior on the addiction rather than their intrinsic character. Avoid using inflammatory words that might upset them and cause them to shut you out.

4. Encourage your friend to get help.

You should enter this conversation with resources in mind that might help your friend escape from addiction. For example, substance abuse counselors and rehab clinics that are experienced in treating physical and mental aspects of substance cessation can be valuable. Tell your friend that you recognize the challenges they are facing and that they can count on you for support.

 

If your friend initially rejects your concerns, do not give up. Throughout this process, you can be a key element of their successful recovery. Knowing that their pattern of destructive behavior is no longer secret, your friend may begin to realize how damaging this behavior is and how much they can benefit from the resources you have suggested.

 

Categories: Friend, substance abuse, talk

How to Actually Talk to Your Partner About Your Sex Lives

According to psychotherapist Joyce Marter, ‘A client once said to me, “I’m nervous to talk with my wife about my sexual needs, because you are the only person who knows that part of my life.” This statement struck me as wildly paradoxical. How could I, a person with whom my client has a strictly professional relationship, know more about his sexual life than the woman with whom he has sex?’ Most of us are embarrassed to talk to our partners about sex. You might divulge a few tid bits to your friends, or speak to a professional, but to actually discuss sexual health with the person you’re having sex with? No thank you! However, talking about sex won’t only improve your sexual wellbeing; it may also save your relationship wellness.

 

Marter explains, ‘After nearly 20 years of counselling individuals and couples, it is clear that there is also a “chicken and egg” relationship between sex and relationship problems. Sometimes it’s hard to tell which came first. Some couples are sexually disconnected because of a relationship issues and others have interpersonal conflict that stems from sexual problems. Perhaps it doesn’t really matter which is addressed first, as long as there is a shared, open and courageous attempt to resolve their issues.’ But how do you actually do that? Luckily, Marter has shared her top tips for improving your sex life:

 

1. Stop, Meditate and Listen: Marter recommends, ‘Quiet your mind via meditation and ask the deeper self within what you desire sexually. Notice any negative thoughts or beliefs that induce fear, guilt or shame – breathe them out and let them go. Replace them with a mantra such as, “I am a sexual being and deserve a gratifying sexual life.”’

 

2. Write it Down: ‘Write down the issues that are preventing you from having the sexual life you want,’ Marter instructs. ‘Create a plan for how to address and resolve those issues. (For example, talk with your doctor about your medication side effects, hit the gym to feel sexier, get in couples therapy about your relationship issues, seek individual therapy about your addiction to porn, carve out time for coupling, etc.)’

 

3. Connect Your Mind and Body: Marter advises, ‘Because many people are overly focused on their minds, connect with your body through exercise, stretching, progressive muscle relaxation and mindfulness techniques to increase body awareness and subsequently improve your sexual experiences. Take care of yourself so you feel desirable and confident.’

 

4. Accentuate Your Relationship: ‘Detach from the imperfections we all have physically and focus on your sense of aliveness within’ says Marter. ‘And the passionate energy exchange between you and your partner. Avoid magazines and media with harmful messages about body image.’

 

5. COMMUNICATE: ‘Find your voice and dig up the courage to talk with you partner(s) about your sexual feelings, needs and desires,’ Marter encourages. ‘Be open and honest. Ask your partner what he or she wants (detach from judgment and defensiveness). Be open in your communication and aim to be a good lover (like karma, this will come back at you). Use “I” statements, rather than “you” statements to decrease defensiveness (e.g., “I desire more oral sex” vs. “You never go down on me.”) Similar to parenting and management, sexual communication requires that you give three positive statements for every piece of negative feedback (“I love when you do this, this and this, but am not really loving that…”).’

 

6. Experiment Together: Marter suggests, ‘Connect with your partner through music, art, dance, poetry, nature, food, and other shared sensual experiences that will set the tone for intimacy and connection. Be open to new experiences and talk openly without judgment.’

Categories: Communication, experimentation, life nbsp, marter, meditation, nbsp, relationship, relationship issues, sexual, sexual life, talk

Make Sex Normal: Are You Comfortable Talking About It?

Is sex still a taboo subject today? Absolutely. While you may think that sex is prominent in the media, we still seem to have trouble talking or even thinking about it. Enter Debby Herbenick, PHD, a sexual health educator at the Kinsey Institute who has created a new website called Make Sex Normal, in order to get us talking comfortably about sex. According to Herbenick, when you can talk about sex, you’ll see major wellness benefits in your relationships, health, and of course, desire.

 

Herbenick, who is the author of books such as Sex Made Easy and Great In Bed, is used to bringing up the bedroom on a daily basis. ‘My colleagues and I joke about how normal and mundane all of this stuff is in our lives,’ she says. ‘What that does for all of us is we’ve become more comfortable over time and it impacts our personal lives. It’s easier for us to talk about sex with our partners and bring up sex issues that we might have with our doctors.’ Herbenick points out that many physical and psychological issues impact your sex life, and so voicing bedroom problems to your doctor can help you find a diagnosis and a solution. But what are her top tips for making sex normal?

 

1. Baby Steps: Herbenick asserts, ‘There’s a whole menu out there when it comes to sex…Everyone has to figure out where their starting place is and push themselves just a little outside their comfort zone.’ To help you figure out your starting place, Casey Gueren, Associate Editor at Womens Health, suggests, ‘Make a list of all the sexual things you’re curious about, interested in trying, or already know that you like…If you know what gets you off, it’ll be way easier to communicate that to your guy.’

 

2. Read Erotica…In Public: Gueren notes, ‘If the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon taught us anything, it’s that lit-erotica is a great way to get women thinking and talking about sex. So don’t let the trend end with Christian Grey—pick up a few sex books…and read them on the train or in the coffee shop.’ Herbenick explains that reading sex books in public ‘may help you feel more comfortable and confident in your sexual skin, and it also sends a message to everyone around you that sex is a regular part of life.’ However, if that’s a little too scary for your liking, try putting a different cover on your sex book or read it on your kindle – you’ll still feel that little bit naughty.

 

3. Shop Sexier: ‘Even though you can purchase sex toys and find porn from the privacy of your computer, there’s something to be said for visiting a sex shop,’ Gueren comments. ‘You can go solo, with girlfriends, or with your partner—whatever you’re most comfortable with. The important thing is just to set foot in the store. Not only will it put you in a sexual space that you might normally shy away from, but it also gives you the opportunity to explore new things and learn from sex educators who often work at the shops.’

 

4. Plan a Sexy Date: Herbenick advises finding ways to talk to your partner about sex before you even get to the bedroom, such as emailing him an article about a hot new position or visiting a sex museum together. She asserts, ‘It gives you a chance to talk about it so you’re not just whipping out a sex toy.’ Moreover, according to a study in the Journal of Sex Research, experimenting sexually leads to greater relationship satisfaction and intimacy.

Categories: comfortable, Communication, erotica, herbenick, nbsp, sex books, sex normal, sex shop, talk, talking

Teen Sex: What Do They Need To Know?

Regardless of the fact that teenagers are becoming sexually active earlier than ever, bringing the subject up and discussing it with them is still difficult for many adults. Sex is no longer a taboo issue and is splashed across the media in almost every form, but talking about it isn’t any easier than decades ago – we still get embarrassed when we talk about this natural act. And furthermore, there’s data to suggest that doctors are also guilty of failing to provide a useful sexual health discussion with teens. Research published in the JAMA Paediatrics states that one third of teenagers seen by a doctor didn’t talk about sexual health with their GP. Although the subject of sex was brought up in around 65 per cent of wellness visits, the conversations they had were extremely brief – in most cases, less than 36 seconds. These findings show that the majority of physicians aren’t making the most of these opportunities to educate teenage patients about sex and the risks involved, such as sexually transmitted diseases and how to prevent them. Although it is easier for parents to leave the subject of sex to medical professionals, it isn’t always the wisest decision – teenagers need to be able to feel comfortable discussing sex with people they trust and are close to. Sex education in schools isn’t usually in-depth enough to give adolescents the knowledge they need to make informed decisions, which is where parents come in to the situation.

Talking about sex is always going to be uncomfortable for parents and teenagers alike, but once you develop an open and trusting relationship around the topic, it gets easier. This is especially the case if what you’re worried about it is the answers you’re going to hear from your child. But there are steps you can take to make the process a little easier. For example, you can always ask for help – consult your GP who can offer you some advice about how to embark on this issue. Not only will it help you to form an unbiased discussion about sex but it will also help GPs to make sexual health conversations more engaging. You should also be as knowledgeable as possible on the subject – you’ll want to be prepared for any questions your teen may have. This means doing your research about the risks to teen sex these days, the various contraceptive methods available to adolescents and ensuring that your information is accurate. Giving your child inaccurate information could be extremely detrimental to their health and safety. If you’re not sure about the answer to a question, there’s no shame in explaining to your teen that you’ll need to find out and get back to them, rather than guessing.

But more importantly, you need to make sure those conversations happen – don’t let your teenager off the hook. If your teen says they don’t need ‘the talk’, make sure you still sit down and chat with them – even if it’s going over what they know, it will help to open up the channels of communication and build a trusting relationship between you both. Don’t discipline your teen when you talk to them – this isn’t the time to make your child feel ashamed or anxious about sex. Just because you’re talking about certain activities with them doesn’t mean they’re automatically engaging in them, so try not to be judgemental. Furthermore, remember that face to face conversations aren’t the only ways to communicate – why not write your child an email covering the topics, so that you both feel able to talk about things you might feel too embarrassed to say in person.

Categories: Child, Communication, Conversations, feel, Sex, sexual health, talk, teen, Teen Sex, Teenagers, trusting relationship

Where Did That Come From? Coming to Terms with Menopause

Growing up as a woman, your considerations surrounding sexual health tend to be around puberty, periods, protection against sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and pregnancy. But how often do you give a thought to menopause? Now it’s the baby boomers’ time to go through that sexual wellness change and, to be honest, we’re not really ready for it. At what point between screaming at the Beatles, wearing our hair in braids and holding up placards, getting a job, getting married, having kids, putting on weight and needing glasses, did Mother Nature turn around and say “enough’s enough”? Menopause can have a significant impact on your wellbeing, and so if you’ve never thought about it before it happened, you’ve certainly got it on the brain now!

 

The problem with menopause, and identifying and addressing its causes and symptoms, is that we talk about it in whispers. Also, there isn’t a lot of research into the subject, possibly because it’s a relatively new phenomenon. No, we haven’t started going through menopause because of the recession or the modern obesity crisis; until the last few generations most women died before they reached the cessation of the menses, and so researchers are only just beginning to take note that this is now something worth their attention. This is why the measurements of menopause are somewhat funny. I mean, how long before your last period does menopause begin? And what’s the difference between that and perimenopause? Is your last period the end of your menopause or is that the beginning? And how do you know if you’re menopausal or postmenopausal?

 

Learning all you can about menopause is a great way to get your head around the changes you’re going through, as well as finding out ways to cope. However, we need to stick together. Individually, we’re often too tired or busy or stressed to research into the subject, while most of us have mothers who never talked about it. Workplaces don’t tend to lend themselves to such discussions, and you don’t exactly want to bring it up with your friends when you’ve got so many other things to talk about. Between work, family and general life, do you really want to be the one at brunch who starts banging on about hot flashes? Then you have your family to look after, as most of us still tend to do at this age. Not only do you have a husband, kids at home or in university or moved back in, grand-babies and elderly relatives; there’s also family weddings to organise, Christmas to plan, your daughter’s gig to go to – when do you have time to notice what’s going on in your body?

 

But are you really that busy to notice you’re going through the Change, or is it more a case of denial? There isn’t a great reputation surrounding menopausal women. Sure, other female changes – such as puberty and pregnancy – have their irritating symptoms, but at least then you’re coming into womanhood or bringing a child into the world. These are prised symbols of fertility for which women have been valued, whereas menopause is kind of the opposite. It’s not just vanity; it’s the fear of being used up or discarded. However, instead of hiding your menopause or treating it as an illness to be conquered, take it in the spirit of adventure rather than embarrassment. Try to figure out where you are on the menopausal journey, and talk to people around you who are going through the same thing. If nothing else, it’s nice to know you’re not alone, and how much further you have to go before it’s all over.

Categories: Baby Boomers, Communication, menopausal, Menopause, nbsp, talk, tend

How To Talk To Your Teenage Child About Sex

Sex education has always been a sensitive subject. How much should you teach children about sex? And how early should you start to teach them? These are very difficult questions that are faced by all parents who are bringing up their children. Indeed it is also a problem that is faced by schools as well. Almost all sensible schools teach some sort or form of sex education and the controversy that surrounds that is always high. The fact is that the most important sex education that your child can get happens at home – and this leaves you free to set the boundaries. But given this is the case, it’s important to be geared up with the facts for what is sensible to teach them and when. So, here’s our guide to talk to your teenage child about sex.

 

Sex education at school is a great way of teaching children the basics of sex. Teenagers are notoriously difficult to talk to about sex and as awkward as it may seem, you are the person who needs to take the responsibility in education them about the reality of sexual activity and sexual intercourse. By reinforcing and expanding on what they have learned in sex education classes you are setting them up with a fantastic foundation with sexual knowledge. Indeed you are setting them up for their lives to be able to have a happy and healthy sexual time.

 

We are all exposed to sex all of the time. Through the mediums of advertising, news and other media including films, TV and books, sex surrounds our daily lives. While this is a bad thing for some people who would not like their children to be exposed to this sort of thing all of the time – we look at it as an opportunity. The fact is that children become relatively desensitised to sex and that means you can talk to them more openly and honestly about. So, one of our number one tips about talking to teenagers about sex has to be: seize the moment – when there is a news story or a scene in a TV show, talk the opportunity to discuss good sexual practices and bad ones. Remember that it is far more awkward to sit a child down to have a “chat about sex” than it is to just bring it up naturally in conversation.

 

Remember to consider your teenager’s point of view – don’t give them a lecture, make it a sensible discussion where nothing they say is ridiculous, just a step in the process of their learning. Don’t try to scare them off having sex – it is natural to be protective of your child, but you must also be realistic, and if they find themselves happy in the situation to have sex, it is better they have the true facts of the situation rather than lies designed to make them fear sex.

 

Make sure that you don’t just talk about the facts – teenagers need to know that there is much more to sex than just the raw, physical act. It is important for them to understand about the right ways to go about sex and about feeling comfortable in what they are doing.

 

There are plenty of topics surrounding sex that you’ll need to deal with including big questions such hanging around what do if they think they might be gay, or that their partner wants sex and they don’t but they don’t know how to tell them. You should be equipped to answer their questions and keep them feeling confident.

Categories: Child, Children, Education, nbsp, sex education, sex nbsp, talk, talking to teenagers, teenage child, teenager

When is the Right Time to Talk to Your Kids About Alcohol?

We all know that parents have the most important influence on child and family wellness, so it’s not surprising when, time and time again, research shows it. Even though there are other factors involved in your child’s wellbeing, such as peer pressure, you have the largest influence on your child’s attitude towards drinking alcohol.

 

A 2009 report from US Department of Health and Human Services’ Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, for example, showed that teens who talked to their parents about the dangers of substance abuse were ‘less likely than those who did not have such conversations to have been past month users of alcohol (16.2% vs. 18.3%).’ So it’s not a giant leap to make in saying that you are the most important factor in preventing your child from engaging in underage drinking. You need to talk to your children about drinking, and you should start early and speak often.

 

Again, research proves that this is something you already know. In a recent survey by global market research firm Ipsos, which asked 1,000 adults across 11 different countries about how they are talking with children about drinking, it was shown that the vast majority of respondents believe it’s important for parents to talk with their children about alcohol. Of the parents with kids aged between five and 17, more than 90% in 10 of the 11 countries surveyed agreed with this statement. Still, the study also found that while you may think it’s a good idea to talk to your kids about alcohol, there’s a large gap between believing in it, and actually doing it.

 

So why is there this disconnect between beliefs and actions? The survey noted the number one reason for not speaking up about drinking was because the parents thought their child was too young to have the conversation. Among the US respondents, for instance, 89% of parents gave this reason. But are we being too sensitive or delicate with our kids? After all, the US surgeon general actually recommends that ‘it’s never too early to start talking with young people about the dangers of underage drinking.’ Other excuses parents gave were that they trusted their children to make the right decision, and that they weren’t sure how to start the conversation.

 

According to Carol Clark is Global Vice President of Beer & Better World at Anheuser-Busch InBev, ‘To help parents with these conversations, for example, AB InBev launched Family Talk About Drinking, an underage drinking prevention programme developed by experts in the areas of education, counselling and family counselling, more than 20 years ago in the United States. Today, in collaboration with local experts, the programme is now available in 10 countries, in the local languages. Family Talk gives parents resources, from suggested conversation starters to supportive online communities, to help them talk with their children about drinking. There are also similar excellent parent programmes offered by Mothers Against Drunk Driving; the US government; and in our other markets around the world like Brazil and Mexico.’

 

She adds, ‘It’s also important to acknowledge that parents are not the only solution. The effects of underage drinking impact each one of us, and we are all responsible for helping to address the challenge. We at AB InBev have also pledged to provide ID-checking materials to 500,000 bars, clubs, restaurants and grocery stores worldwide by the end of 2014 to help them prevent sales to minors. We have also committed to training at least 1 million bartenders, waiters and others around the world who serve and sell our beers on responsible alcohol beverage sales.’

Categories: ab inbev, Alcohol, Drinking, family talk, Parents, parents gave, Research, substance abuse, talk, underage drinking

How to Talk to Your Teenager About Drugs: Six Helpful Tips

When your teenager experiments with drugs, it’s more than an issue of physical wellness; they’re also threatening their mental health. In fact, drug use can negatively influence all aspects of your teen’s wellbeing, and so it’s vital to get in on the ground floor and talk to your child about drugs before it becomes a problem. This is no easy task, but a few pointers can make the conversations go a little more smoothly:

 

1. Educate yourself. Before you can teach your child about drugs, you first need to do your homework so that you can talk to your child in an informed way. Make sure you understand enough about drugs, including why your child might experiment with them, so you can answer any questions and keep calm in a crisis – just make sure you use reliable resources.

 

2. Time it right. When your teen is rushing out the door to school or a friend’s house, they won’t want to stop for a good talk about drug use, so anything you say will go in one ear and out the other. Likewise, if your teenager is on drugs they’re not going to be in a place to listen if they’re high. Pick a time when your teen is in the right frame of mind to hear you. Mealtimes are a good forum for discussion, while TV programmes that deal with drug use, or when it comes up on the news, can help to spark the subject.

 

3. Make sure your stance is clear. The chances are that your child already knows your values and boundaries, but it’s important to clarify exactly where you stand on drug taking so that everyone is on the same page. If you start talking about the issue before they start experimenting with drugs, it may make them feel strong and independent enough to be able to say no.

 

4. Don’t try to scare them out of it. Again, this is where educating yourself is important, as adolescents tend to know a bit more about drugs than their parents do. This means there’s no point in warning that smoking cannabis will kill them, as they know this isn’t the case and so you’ll just discredit everything else you say on the subject. Talking about the facts, on the other hand, will help the situation to feel more realistic and tangible. For example, pointing out that cannabis can cause mental health problems and make you forgetful and unmotivated will be more of a deterrent.

 

5. Know who your teenager spends their time with. Adolescents don’t start taking drugs in a vacuum; they have friends who start doing it and pressure them to act likewise. In fact, peer pressure is the single most powerful factor in determining whether or not your child will take drugs, so it’s essential that you know their friends. You may be tempted to ban your teen from hanging out with any potentially shifty pals, but it’s far better to take an interest in your child’s friends and invite them to the house. That way, you can keep a closer eye on what’s going on.

 

6. Let your teen know you’re always there for them. Your teenager needs to be able to come to you no matter what, and be honest rather than telling you what they think you want to hear. This means fostering a relationship of openness and non-judgement, which requires you to talk to them in the right way. Instead of preaching or making assumptions about what your child is up to, ask about their experiences and really listen. One way to create an on-going relationship of communication – rather than a one-off discussion – is to have a conversation when you’re doing things side-by-side, such as driving in the car, washing up together or preparing food.

Categories: Child, Communication, drugs, Mental Health, nbsp, talk, teen, Teenagers

Do You Argue About Sex? How To Avoid All Future Arguments

Do you and your partner argue about sex? If so, you are most certainly not alone! Sexual communication is one of the biggest threats to sexual wellness and wellbeing.

 

Even although sex is supposed to be an enjoyable thing, it is still a big source of stress between many couples. Many couples have great sex, but there will always be times when they are out of sync and when one person is so tired that she just wants to read her book before bed, but the other is feeling highly sexual and then this leads to feelings of rejection and arguments.

 

The number one way to stop the arguments about sex is to be honest about how you feel. Rather than snapping at your partner or ignoring their advances because you are not in the mood, be calm and honest about how you feel. This should help to avoid him feeling rejected and keeps the honesty in your relationship.

 

Past arguments about sex can also lead to you putting up walls when the subject of sex comes up now, so try not to close yourself off emotionally to the subject but instead face any issues head on. The more you shy away from communication, the bigger the issues will become and the harder it will be to improve your sex life and avoid hurting your partner.

 

It’s also a great idea to decide on a time that works best for you to have sex. Whilst it’s pretty safe to say that most men are ready for sex at any time of day, women often have more favourable times of day than others. Some women like a quickie before bed, whereas others like to have sex in the mornings. Others find that there’s a time after work but before dinner where intimacy is welcome, and if this is the case then you should build this time into your routine.

Categories: arguments, avoid, nbsp, Sex, sexual, talk, time

How to keep the Lines of Sexual Communication Open

It’s very important for your sexual health that you find a way to talk about sex. We don’t mean dirty talk, although that can certainly have a place in the bedroom, but open sexual communication is vitally important for the wellness and wellbeing of your relationship and for your own sexual satisfaction.

 

Couples who have great sex all agree that the main reason that they have such a fantastic sex life is that they communicate with their partner. You may wonder what is so sexy about communication, but the truth is that being able to communicate to your partner exactly what it is that you want, need or desire can open new doors to sexual discovery and can also lead to greater intimacy between you and your partner.

 

In addition to this, if you are able to talk about things in the bedroom, this can also directly lead to open communication in other areas of your marriage, and can make for a healthy and functional relationship all round.

 

It’s not always easy to just take the plunge with talking about sex, though, especially if this is not something that you and your partner are used to. It might help to start by writing things down so that you are clear what it is about sex that you enjoy, anything from the past that could be having an effect on your current sex life, and so on.

 

It can also help if you familiarise yourself with your own body, so that when you make requests to your partner, you already know what you want and like and can ask them for exactly what it is that you need.

 

It’s also a good idea to choose the timing of your sex talk careful, and think about the location. Don’t bring up any issues in bed, as it can cause insecurity and reduce intimacy rather than improve it. Instead perhaps go for a walk or do some other (fully clothed!) activity, and slowly introduce the topic of sex so that you can have a frank discussion with your partner.

Categories: Communication, nbsp, open, partner, Sex, sex life, sexual, sexual communication, talk

Can Your Daughter Talk to You About STIs and Protection?

As a mother, nothing can be more daunting than approaching the topic of your daughter’s sexual health. You want to assure your little girl that she can always talk to you, without letting on that it’s a little bit heartbreaking every time she mentions having sex. However, it’s important to look out for her wellbeing, as many teenagers today are uninformed about sexual issues, so what do you need to talk about?

 

Let’s start with contraception. Obviously, the condom is the best protection against sexually transmitted infections (STIs) as well as pregnancies, but your daughter may not be aware that things don’t always go to plan in the moment. Paul Fine, MD, associate professor of gynaecology at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, notes, ‘A couple may not put on a condom until the last minute, and in the heat of passion, he might not have the control he usually has, so that’s never foolproof.’

 

Therefore, you need to educate your daughter about other contraceptive methods that are less dependent on calm, clear thinking in the midst of a passionate clinch. The Pill is a classic choice for most women and your daughter may not be aware that it does so much more than prevent pregnancies. Depending on the type of Pill she chooses, the Pill can help to clear up her acne, lessen her risk of uterine infection and ovarian cancer, and reduce period problems such as heavy bleeding, pain and PMS mood swings.

 

Still, the Pill alone won’t protect your daughter from STIs, and she’s in a very high-risk group for them. Even though 15-24 year olds only represent 25% of the sexually active population, they are the victims of 50% of new STD cases. Jeanne Marrazzo, MD, an STD specialist at the University of Washington medical school, advises annual chlamydia screenings for younger women, while Hunter Handsfield, MD, a clinical professor of medicine at the University of Washington, says, ‘Young people ought to get tested once a year for HIV, syphilis, chlamydia, and gonorrhoea.’ This is because the symptoms of STDs aren’t always apparent. You can have gonorrhoea, chlamydia, hepatitis, HIV, and syphilis without having any obvious symptoms, but these diseases can be very destructive to your wellness over a long period of time. Dr Handsfield adds that women under 26 should consider getting the HPV vaccination.

Categories: Chlamydia, daughter, nbsp, Pill, Protection, STIs, talk, the talk

Six Facts to Include When Giving Your Daughter “The Talk”

Having ‘the talk’ with your daughter can be awkward, but not knowing what to include in that talk can have a huge impact on her sexual health and wellbeing. Here are six facts about sexual wellness that you should talk about with your teenage daughter.

 

1. Using a condom isn’t as easy or as effective as you think. According to Paul Fine, MD, associate professor of gynaecology at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, ‘A couple may not put on a condom until the last minute, and in the heat of passion, he might not have the control he usually has, so that’s never foolproof.’ You can get pregnant before he ejaculates, Dr Fine adds, as pre-ejaculate is ‘loaded with sperm.’

 

2. Emergency contraception is available if you have unprotected sex or the condom breaks. You might want to purchase it in advance of needing it, just so you have it on hand in an emergency.

 

3. The young adult age group has a high risk for STDs. 15-24 year olds represent 25% of the sexually active population, but 50% of new STD cases. STD expert H. Hunter Handsfield, MD, a clinical professor of medicine at the University of Washington, says, ‘Young people ought to get tested once a year for HIV, syphilis, chlamydia, and gonorrhoea.’

 

4. The symptoms of STDs aren’t always apparent. You can have gonorrhoea, chlamydia, hepatitis, HIV, and syphilis without having any obvious symptoms, but these diseases can be very destructive to your wellness over a long period of time. Jeanne Marrazzo, MD, an STD specialist at the University of Washington medical school, advises annual chlamydia screenings for younger women.

 

5. More than 30 types of the human papillomavirus (HPV) are sexually transmitted, and chances are, if you’re a sexually active adult, you’ve contracted several of them without realising. Dr. Handsfield notes that all women should get annual Pap smears to screen for precancerous abnormalities, and women under 26 should also consider getting the HPV vaccination.

 

6. There’s more to the Pill than pregnancy prevention; it also – depending on the form of medication – can reduce menstrual bleeding and painful periods, clear up acne, treat PMS mood wings and lessen your risk of uterine infection and ovarian cancer.

Categories: Chlamydia, Condom, Condoms, human papillomavirus, nbsp, sexually active, talk, The pill

Stuck in a Workplace Headspace? How to Get Out of that RUT

If you run your own business, or you freelance, it can be difficult to draw boundaries between work and home. However, a work-life balance is crucial to corporate wellness – not to mention your family’s wellbeing – so what can you do to relax, switch off and stick to healthy working hours? Get out of that RUT!

Routine – Many freelancers don’t stick to a schedule or routine, because freelancing allows you to work whatever hours you want. While this can be helpful if something comes up, more often that not you can end up over-working and forgetting to enjoy some time off. Create a strict schedule in which you begin and finish work at the same time every day, and make sure your clients are aware of these working hours so they know not to constantly bother you. During your scheduled time, sit in a room that’s devoid of distractions, and don’t go near them until your work day is done.

Unplug – Speaking of distractions, delete your Facebook and Twitter apps from your phone or tablet. If your business involves looking after clients’ or your own social media pages, the last thing you want is to be notified of something when you’re supposed to be getting ready for bed. Again, go on these sites during working hours, and log out at all other times. The same goes for your emails and texts. Get two email addresses and mobile phones – one for work and one for personal use. Log out of your work email and switch off your work phone when you’re out of work hours. That way, you won’t have to panic if you get an email or text on Saturday morning.

Talk – The first rule of non-work club is you don’t talk about work. Try to spend as much social time as possible with people who aren’t in your work environment, as this means you’ll be mentally separate from work. However, if you are friends with your clients or colleagues, then just establish a rule to never ‘talk shop’ outside of work. If you need to get some work stress of your chest, talk about it with your friends but then move on and don’t go back to it for the rest of the evening. Whatever the issue, it can almost always wait until Monday morning.

 

Categories: Routine, talk, Unplug