Your experience of sex changes as you get older; hopefully for the better. Sure, you may not be as energetic or eager as you once were, but you learn more as you go along, and all that experience works wonders for your sexual wellbeing. So, as a warning for you younger men, or as a lovely trip down memory lane for you silver foxes, let’s take a look at the sex lessons you learn when you’re in your 20s.
1. Girls Can Be Bad at Sex: According to Sexual Health and Wellness Writer Mike Sheppard, ‘This is shocking for most guys. At first, the simple fact that you were both naked was all it took. Then there is that one girl who seems to be dangling from the headboard and shrieking profanities for no reason at all. It’s not you. It’s her. This is a very subtle shift that happens at this stage of our lives when we begin to allow ourselves to have likes and dislikes in bed, and not just gratitude. Well, we should still be grateful. But the bottom line is that she can be equally responsible if a hot date ends up turning into a sexual misfire.’
2. You Can Talk About What You Like: ‘You can talk to her during sex?,’ asks Sheppard. ‘Yes. Yes, you can. You can even look her in the eye. Go one step further and you guys can talk about what each of you would enjoy or would rather the other never did again. How else is she supposed to know if she should speed up or slow down? Neither of you are mind readers. And once you open that line of communication in those first years of sexual dalliances, your sex life will get infinitely better. The 20s are about learning what you really like, and this ain’t happening without some talk. Just don’t be a chatterbox.’
3. Fantasies Aren’t Always Fantastic: Sheppard notes, ‘Our teen years are spent imagining all the things we would love to do to women and what we would love to have them do to us. Our 20s can be a sobering reminder that these fantasies can actually be painfully awkward – and just plain painful. You have to try things to learn what works, but this is a great example of something that you will start to get a feel for during those formative years. And the only one that will leave you with emotional and physical scarring.’
4. Drunk Sex Can Suck: It ‘seems impossible to imagine even being sober when you’re having sex in your 20s,’ Sheppard points out. ‘How am I even supposed to relax? But something changes along the way, and you start to notice that too much booze can make a great encounter quickly turn into an awkward and sleepy event. Many guys learn this after they pass out in the middle of sex and wake up to discover they’re now alone in the bed.’
5. You Should Never Sleep With Your Friend’s Ex: Sheppard argues, ‘In our teens, life is like summer camp. People are swapping makeout partners like the cast of Gossip Girl in the span of a single season. But as we enter our 20s, when relationships start to mean a little more, it’s no longer cool to start hooking up with your boy’s ex at the bar two weeks after she dumped him. This is part of growing up.’
6. Your Partner Doesn’t Want a Picture of Your Package: ‘To be honest, some guys never learn this – and some women probably know it all too well,’ Sheppard comments. ‘But for the most part, many men have learned the hard way that this can be a huge mistake (or small mistake, depending on the angle). Bottom line here: You will try it and you will learn what works for you.’
