You might think you have your sexual health and wellbeing sorted. You know what you like, and you know what you don’t like, so it’s smooth sailing from here on in, right? Wrong. According to sexual wellness expert Marissa Gold, ‘There are two primary phases in most people’s sex lives—the sex you have before you get into a relationship, and the sex you have after.’ And, let’s be honest, the latter phase isn’t the one you brag about to your friends at brunch. As a long-term couple, things change and your sex life needs to change with it, or else you’ll be bored in the bedroom – and no one wants that. Improve your sex life in any relationship by giving these sex tips for couples a try.
1. Role-Play the Opposite of Your Personalities: ‘Is your guy a go-getter who handles everything in your relationship?’ asks Gold. ‘Tie him to the bedpost. Is he on the shy side and lets you call all the shots? Hand him some bondage tape and tell him to take over. Most people like to play a role in bed that’s not what they play in real life.’
2. Do That Thing He’s Always Begging You to Do: Gold points out, ‘Most men are pretty vocal about their sexual fantasies. It’s the male equivalent of our nagging them to pick up their socks. Does your guy really, really want you to dance for him? Try anal sex? Dress up like a French maid, perhaps? Since you’re the only woman he’s allowed to have sex with and all, it’s worth a try!’
3. Try A Position You’ve Never Done Before: Gold explains, ‘Doing new things together is a bonding experience, and let’s be honest—it’s probably been a while since either of you did something new in bed. Just throw out a sex position, or ask him if there’s one he’s never tried, and go for it. Best case? Someone loves it. Worst case? You have a good laugh.’
4. Leave Your Underwear at Home on Date Night: ‘OK, it’s a little cheesy,’ Gold admits. ‘But it’ll make your typical routine of sharing the burrata appetizer at your neighbourhood Italian restaurant a little more fun. As you’re leaving home, as you’re walking in, or as you’re sitting down, just let him know. And wear a body-con dress and heels so he can fantasize about the easy access.’
5. Have Sex When You Don’t Really Feel Like It: ‘Let me be clear,’ Gold cautions. ‘Never do anything you really don’t want to do. However, relationships are about compromise, so if you’re turning him down more than you’re turning him on, you might consider some pro bono (he-he!) sex once in a while. It will go a long way in your relationship, because once a guy feels neglected or rejected, he might stop trying to do all those things you like too.’
6. Treat Him Like a Sex Object Sometimes: Gold notes, ‘What kind of sex do people have during affairs? The kind of sex where clothes get ripped and lamps get broken. A lot of people crave that kind of passion, which we all know is hard to maintain when you’ve slept together literally hundreds of times. So consider it an investment in your monogamy and treat him like the jerky-but-so-hot football player you wanted just one night with in college and take the guy. He’ll like it, promise.’
7. Don’t Forget About Oral: Gold comments, ‘Every woman knows that men love oral sex, and every man knows that at some point in a long-term relationship, he’ll probably stop getting it. In his ideal world, you’ll keep doing it because you want to, so don’t make it seem like a chore (even if you kind of feel like is). P.S. This rule works both ways.’
8. Don’t Wear Frumpy Outfits to Bed Every Night: ‘To a lot of men, the moment you wear sweatpants to bed is the exact moment when the romance officially dies,’ says Gold. ‘This is hard, because you want to wear those comfy sweats as much as he wants to stop doing sit-ups every day. But consider an upgrade to lingerie (or at least retire the baggy T-shirt) every once in a while and watch the magic happen. Bonus: Not only will he love it if you’re a little sexier when you hit the sheets, you might find it puts you in the mood too.’
