Showing posts with label confident. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confident. Show all posts

Man, don’t you wish you were more confident? Confidence is so important to your overall wellbeing, if only because it helps you strut around the gym with your head held high – even if all you’ve managed is a three-minute jog on the treadmill. According to personal trainer and wellness writer Carly Pizzani, author of the fitness blog Fine Fit Day, ‘As a personal trainer, I’ve seen firsthand the importance of confidence when it comes to achieving results from working out. The gym or any kind of new fitness endeavour can be terribly nerve-wracking for many people, and the catch-22 is that having confidence can help you succeed at your fitness goals.’ So we got five readers to give their best advice on how to be confident in life and in the gym.


 


1. Everyone Else Feels the Same as You: ‘I do consider myself confident now,’ says Kim. ‘That wasn’t always the case. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realised that people aren’t even thinking about what I say, or wear, or do, and that has made me far more confident.’ Pizzani points out, ‘Remember the old advice for public speaking or interviews, where you were supposed to imagine everyone else was in their underwear? Well, this is a similar concept. Next time you’re feeling nervous or unsure of yourself, recognize that everyone around you is so busy feeling the same way about themselves, they don’t have time to notice what you’re doing or wearing. It can be really liberating to realize that most of the time when you’re working out, no one is paying attention. Bask in that anonymity and enjoy your workout!’


 


2. It’s All About Body Language:Shannon recalls, ‘My dad taught me that if you say it like you mean it, then people will believe you. I have found that this works on myself. Stand up straight, look people in the eye, and speak clearly. It’s amazing how it can help you to feel more confident. Let your posture lead the way.’ Pizzani explains, ‘Posture can have a huge impact on whether you’re perceived as confident, and when people think you’re confident, it reinforces that idea of yourself in your mind. It’s a bit like forcing yourself to smile when you feel down – sooner or later the feeling you’re trying to “fake” becomes the way you really feel. Next time you’re trying something new, like a spin class or free weights, act confident and don’t be afraid to speak up and ask for help!’


 


3. Prepare to Fail: ‘I act confident outwardly and expect rejection and failure,’ Emily details. ‘I don’t see this as pessimism, rather that I’m prepared for things not to work out, so I’m comfortable with an enormous amount of professional risk taking. With making attempts comes some inevitable successes – some of which I never would have thought would be a success! This has translated to my approach to fitness, that I should never be afraid to fail, because it’s the process that matters more than the outcome.’ Pizzani adds, ‘You really don’t know what you’re capable of until you try. I have a friend who took a yoga class on a whim, expecting to be horribly inflexible and out of her element. To her surprise, she picked it up really quickly. Four years later and she’s a certified yoga instructor. Even if you believe you’re not going to be able to do a certain kind of workout, attempt it anyway! You never know where your hidden skills may lie.’


 


4. Don’t Expect Perfection: Alicia asserts, ‘Confidence has a lot to do with distancing myself from ideas of perfection. It’s infinitely harder to feel good about who you are today (which confidence requires) when you’re beating yourself up over your flaws, imperfections, and unmet goals.’ Pizzani affirms, ‘You don’t have to be perfect at everything. Even when you’re working hard at something, even when you’re good at something, you’re always going to have “off” days, and that’s okay. As a runner, I’m used to having a race where I do amazingly well followed by one where I feel awful and have a really poor result. That’s okay – it’s part of life.’

If you want to be good in bed, the best way is to increase your sexual confidence. Your sexual wellness and wellbeing is inextricably linked to your emotions, and feeling confident makes you act confident, which in turn makes you very sexy and desirable.


 


Many people feel less than sexy at various points in their lives for one reason or another. Perhaps they feel that they are looking a bit older, or perhaps they have put on weight. Perhaps tiredness is getting in the way of their mojo or perhaps they are more wrinkled than they would like to be. It is all too easy for sex lives to become stagnant, and for one partner to then feel rejected and undesirable.


 


The best way to feel more desirable is to boost your self-esteem, and you can do this through positive thinking. Start by considering what you like best about yourself, whether that is a physical attribute or something about your personality that you think is great. It may even be the way that you juggle the responsibilities of your family life or deadlines at work.


 


Whatever your good qualities happen to be, you should take time to identify them and then make sure that you praise them every single day. Stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself and actively think positive ones. Look at yourself in the mirror and (mentally) tell yourself that you are great, awesome and sexy.


 


Making some kind of change in your life can also lead to great self-confidence. Something as small as a change of hairstyle or as big as a new job or as consuming as a new hobby can make you feel entirely different about yourself and about life. It can give you a fresh burst of energy and lead to renewed excitement about life and renewed excitement in the bedroom.

One of the biggest barriers to sexual health and wellbeing is insecurity. Insecurity can greatly affect your wellness by making you worry both about your body and your performance during sex, and this worry has a negative impact on your ability to achieve true intimacy with your partner.


 


Some people are naturally more confident than others, and sex is no exception. Some people are naturally more inhibited than others, so you can’t necessarily aim to fling caution to the wind and become some kind of sex goddess, but you can feel better about yourself and your sexual performance just by adjusting your mind set a little.


 


First of all, forget about comparing yourself to others. When you compare yourself to others you will always be able to find something lacking in yourself. This is especially the case when you compare yourself to celebrities, who are often chosen for their looks and are then airbrushed into perfection at every turn. Your friends are not always a good point of comparison too, as many women can exaggerate their sexual confidence, and so you may think that they are getting up to all kinds of sexual escapades when in reality their sex life is as ordinary as yours. Focus instead on yourself, thinking strongly about your most positive features and your own enjoyment of the situation.


 


You also need to learn to love your body, and everything about it. The more comfortable you are in your own skin, the easier it will be to feel confident with your partner. Rest assured that whatever it is that you feel self-conscious about (be it a wobble here or a scar there), it is absolutely not what your partner is focusing on. Men actually feel turned off by the women they are with complaining about their body, but feel turned on by those same women (wobbles and all!) being confident enough to show off their body in a sexy and confident way.