For most guys and girls, gender isn’t something that really gets questioned. Most guys feel perfectly normal being male, and most girls feel very natural being female. However, this isn’t true for everyone. Some people who are born male feel as though they should have been born female, and vice versa. These people are known as being “transgender” and it’s a serious wellness issue. Feeling like you’re living in the wrong body isn’t just a matter of sexual health, but really your mental and emotional wellbeing, as well as your relationships.
What society thinks of as being intrinsically male or female will play a role in how you feel about yourself. These expectations can include things like hairstyles, clothing, and jobs — and how people should act or behave. These aren’t often spoken rules but rather cultural norms which cause you to grow up believing men should act a certain way and women should act a certain way, and you don’t really give this much thought. These assumptions, however, don’t fit with your gender identity if you’re transgendered. Somehow, you know you feel “different” from the time you’re young, from puberty or even later in life. This mismatch may make you feel confused and emotionally conflicted.
As a result of this conflict, you may decide to physically change your body to match your gender identity. This can be done through surgery or taking hormones, but either route you take can be a long, complicated, and expensive process. For this reason, and others, some transgender people decide to keep things as they are, but dress as the opposite gender instead. Then there are those who decide to use a different name and pronouns that go with that name. If your birth name is Anthony, for example, you might ask people to call you Amanda and refer to you as a “she”. You might find you aren’t completely sure what you want to do yet. If you do decide to start living like someone of the opposite gender, it’s likely for certain issues to arise. Filling out forms that ask for your gender and choosing which public toilets to use can suddenly become very complicated decisions to make.
One thing to bear in mind is that being transgender is not the same thing as being gay. Rather, being transgender is about your gender identity, or the way you see yourself and the gender you most closely identify with. Being gay or lesbian, on the other hand, is about your sexual orientation, or the gender you are attracted to. Many gay and lesbian people are completely comfortable with their gender; they are simply a man who is attracted to other men, or a woman who is attracted to other women. However, because sexual orientation is a different thing from gender identity, a transgender person can be straight, gay, or bisexual — just like other people can.
Another important distinction to make is that dressing in clothes typically worn by the opposite sex does not automatically mean you are a transgender person. People who dress in clothes that are usually associated with a different gender are sometimes called cross-dressers or transvestites, and these people can make these clothing choices for a variety of reasons. Yes, this may be because of their gender identity, but people who dress as the opposite sex can also be making a clothing choice for fun, comfort, or as a way to express their personal style — not because they see themselves as the other gender. To find out more, look online for more information, as well as support groups for people going through the same things you are.
