How to Make Sex with Your Partner Safer AND More Fun

With everything from genital herpes to hepatitis threatening your sexual health today, safer sex has never been more important. However, while you can make sex safer, an important distinction to make is that you cannot completely guard your wellbeing against the dangers of sex. That said, without abstaining, there are ways you can make sex safer from infections, sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and unplanned pregnancy. Still, that doesn’t mean that safe sex has to be less fun or feel less good than you’re used to. Let’s discuss how to make sex safer and still fun.

 

1. Use condoms: According to wellness writer Maria Trimarchi, ‘Condoms reduce the risk of transmitting sexually transmitted diseases, but no form of contraception can offer 100% protection. They reduce transmission of HIV by 85% and genital herpes by about 30%. Studies vary on how effective (or not so effective) condoms are at protecting you from syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia, but those studies do show that condoms offer some level of protection.’ So get out there and choose a condom that works for you! There are flavoured, coloured, ribbed and lubricated varieties, and you can even cut open condoms and use them as dental dams for safe oral sex with women.

 

2. Use a Lubricant: Trimarchi notes, ‘Wetter is better, especially when it comes to sex. Vaginal lubrication is key to sexual pleasure for both men and women, and sometimes there just isn’t enough. If sex is too dry, it can cause irritation and pain. Enter lube. Lubricant comes in a few forms: water-based, silicone-based and oil-based. Water- and silicone-based lubes are the best with condoms. Never use an oil-based lubricant with a condom – the oil will interact with the latex and cause it to break down. You can purchase lubricants in a variety of flavours, from spicy to sweet; there are options for the chocoholics out there, too. Some cause warming sensations, some make you tingle, and if you’re looking for an icy blast, pick up a cooling lube.’

 

3. Build the Anticipation: The things that lead up to sex can be just as exciting as intercourse, oral or anal sex. Trimarchi advises, ‘Use your seduction skills by leaving a sexy voicemail or text message for your partner, detailing what you have in store for him or her after work, or what you’d like to have done to you. Also, take the time to set the mood – both the mood of the room and your partner’s mood. Light candles or unwind with a massage. Take the time to enjoy your partner’s body by exploring and teasing – put an emphasis on foreplay.’

 

4. Try New Positions: Trimarchi asserts, ‘There’s nothing wrong with a favourite, go-to position that makes your toes curl, but there’s also nothing wrong with breaking out of your habit and spicing things up with a new position. Maybe not all of the 64 sexual activities described in the Kama Sutra are your taste, but something as simple as switching who gets to be on top (or side or behind) can increase pleasure and sensation. The angle of penetration that a new position may offer might just add to your enjoyment, and trying something new with your partner may increase your intimacy with each other.’

 

5. Get Out of the Bedroom: ‘Add a little bit of naughtiness to your sex life by trying out new locations for your sexual exploits,’ Trimarchi recommends. ‘In 2004, an ABC News “Primetime Live” poll found that 57% of Americans have had sex in a public place or outside, and 12% have had sex where they work…Whether it’s in the shower, on the couch or in a secluded but still public spot – make sure it’s secluded or risk an indecent exposure charge – sex can be more fun when you feel like you’re misbehaving.’

Categories: based, Condoms, genital herpes, Lubricant, nbsp, oil based, safe sex, sex safer, sexually transmitted, silicone based, transmitted diseases

Top Tips For Making Sex Safe And Fun

Safe sex may be the sensible option, but sensible isn’t always the most exciting word to enter a conversation. However, as much as we want to lead a passionate sex life with our partner, we can’t neglect our health in the process. Here are some ways to make sex as fun as possible without compromising on the safer side of things.

Use condoms

Intimacy and orgasms unfortunately go hand in hand with sexually transmitted diseases more often than not these days, making sex a complicated mix of pleasure and pain. But if you’re not willing to abstain, what can you do to make sex safer? The most effective way is to use a condom. Safer sex is the only way to go, a there’s no such thing as 100 per cent safe sex – there are always risks. But condoms certainly take a lot of the risk out of sex, and they don’t have to mean a lack of passion. There are plenty of options on the market now to keep sex fun whilst using condoms, as well as a number of options for people who are allergic to latex, so you don’t need to miss out. From flavoured, ribbed, lubricated and coloured, to name just a few, there’s a condom out there to suit everyone, as well as plenty of shapes and sizes for the perfect fit.

Opt for a lubricant

When it comes to sex, the wetter the better should be your motto. Vaginal lubricant is a great tool if you want great sex, for both men and women, and it helps you to avoid irritation and pain from dry sex. There are a few forms of lube, including oil-based, water-based and silicone-based. If you’re using them with condoms, as previously mentioned, water and silicone-based are the safest options as oils break down the latex. You can also get flavoured lubes to make oral sex more fun, as well as those with warming and cooling sensations for exciting sex for both guys and girls.

Get tested regularly

Getting checked for sexually transmitted diseases may not be fun or particularly sexy, but there is something sexy about being able to have sex confident in the knowledge that you’re free of infection. Anxiety about those types of issues doesn’t make sex fun. Regular check-ups not only put your worries to rest but they also stop you spreading infection to your partner, and keep your health in tip-top condition. Your GP can advise of places nearby where you can be checked for free, as well as offering advice if you have any concerns or questions.

Build the excitement before you hit the bedroom

Having sex is fun but you need to build the anticipation before you get into bed. Penetrative sex and an orgasm don’t need to be the only goals – you can have fun by simply arousing each other as well. Use your seduction skills by leaving a note or a sexy voicemail while you’re partner is out at work, or set the mood with a romantic massage or by lighting candles. Get creative – there are loads of ways you can get each other excited, without relying on penetrative sex all the time.

Take sex out of the bedroom

On a similar note, why not be creative with your locations as well? You don’t need to limit your sex life to the bedroom – why not take it to other areas of the house such as the shower? You could even see how adventurous you both feel and take it to a secluded spot outside.

Categories: based, Condoms, Ideas, penetrative sex, safe sex, Sex, sex fun, sex life, sexually transmitted, silicone based, transmitted diseases

Introduce Anal Sex into a Relationship in a Safe and Fun Way

We’ve come a long way in talking about sexual health and wellness, but one subject remains a little delicate for general discussion; anal sex. Some people swear they’ll never try it, while others are ready and raring to go but one thing is certain: people are definitely becoming more accepting of it. So, if you want to introduce anal sex into your relationship without harming your – or your partner’s – wellbeing, here are some tips courtesy of Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH, author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction:

 

1. You have to talk about it: This may seem like the pinnacle of common sense, but there is a horrific number of accounts of men dropping some sort of “sorry-it-slipped-during-doggy-style” line. A word to the wise: women don’t buy that excuse, it’s not funny and you could end up with your balls in a death grip – and not in a fun way. As a man or a woman who wants to try anal sex, you need to communicate with your partner outside of the bedroom, so as to not catch them off-guard in the moment. Discuss anal sex with your partner in an honest, open and pressure-free way, explaining why you want to try it, gauging their interest and – most importantly of all – respecting their answer.

 

2. Use lubricant: Unlike the vagina, the anus does not lubricate on its own, meaning that copious amounts of lube is vital if you get the go-ahead. Both silicone-based and water-based lubes can promote pleasurable, satisfying anal play, but silicone-based lubricants tend to last longer.

 

3. Ease into it: Prior to penetration, it’s in your best interest to test the waters to make sure it’s going to work for you and your partner. Herbenick recommends that the man insert a lubricated, and possibly condom-clad, finger into the woman’s anus before proceeding to bigger and (potentially) better things – like, you know, your penis. I realise that reading about this online makes it sound terribly awkward. But this step is important in helping the woman gauge whether or not she’ll find anal pleasurable (or at least comfortable). So it’s easing into things.

 

4. Pace yourself: If you’re both still up for anal sex, it’s important to go slowly when inserting and withdrawing the penis. It’s a wild misconception that deep penetration and jackhammer thrusting is the way to do things; this way of attempting anal can actually cause a lot of discomfort and pain. The best thing to do is pace yourself and make sure you know how your partner is feeling at all times. Herbenick stresses this point strongly, urging that communication and relaxation are musts when having anal sex. If your partner is hurt by anal penetration, you need to stop and figure out a different way of approaching it, or even revisit when you’re both feeling ready.

 

5. No glove, no love: While you’re not going to impregnate anyone through anal sex, and you and your partner may be squeaky clean in the STI department, you still need to wear a condom when trying anal sex. Forgive the indelicacy, but butts are primarily for pooping, which means there’s faecal matter and bacteria that can travel down your urethra and into your prostate. To stay infection- and irritation-free, a condom is an absolute must.

 

6. Don’t mix things up: If you’re trying out anal sex, stay the course and don’t switch to vaginal. For the same bacterial reasons mentioned above, it’s dangerous to put anything in her vagina that has already been in her anus (like toys, fingers, or your penis) as the vaginal is quite sensitive.

Categories: anal, anal sex, Communication, Condom, introduce anal, nbsp, partner, Safety, silicone based, woman