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Showing posts with label underwear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label underwear. Show all posts
If there are problems with your sexual wellbeing, you can want to place blame on your partner. But is there something that you could do differently? According to sexual health and wellness writer Mara Kofoed, creator of A Blog About Love, ‘I’m all for happy marriages. And a satisfying sex life can help contribute to that. Problem is, there are a lot of women that aren’t feeling it. There are certainly many complicated reasons why people don’t enjoy sex. But in honour of marriage and in honour of trying to help women to feel empowered, I’m happy to start up a conversation that really never happens: what are women doing that could be contributing to their unsatisfying sex lives?’ In fact, Kofoed has shared with us her list of things women do that impede their sexual wellness, so how can you change things up and make your sex life better?
1. Not Wearing Your Birthday Suit Often Enough: Kofoed instructs, ‘Find a way to work that thing in. Being naked leads to good things.’
2. Having Sex Just For Someone Else, and Not For Yourself: ‘Have you had a long day?’ asks Kofoed. ‘Think to yourself that you deserve to get some. This attitude will likely drive your husband nuts.’
3. Not Thinking About Sex Enough: Kofoed admits, ‘This might take some deliberate effort to work some sexy thoughts into your busy day. But do it anyway. You’ll definitely greet your husband with more enthusiasm when you see him.’
4. Not Having Underwear That Fits: Pretty underwear is expensive, so you may be tempted to attach a bra extender to get more wear out of your tired and ill-fitting bras. However, Kofoed confesses, ‘After 5 weeks travelling in Europe, I needed [a bra extender]. But well, it makes taking the thing off a bit tricky (per my husband). So if you can, maybe ditch the bra extenders, and treat yourself to good-fitting underwear all around.’ You’ll feel sexier, and your partner will have a much easier time of it too!
5. Starting Too Late: Kofoed notes, ‘Do you normally go to bed at 10pm? Midnight? 2am? Whatever your norm is, make some advances an hour before…it’s the easiest way to make sure no one’s “too tired.”’
6. Having a Bad Attitude About Sex: ‘It seems so many women blow sex off or don’t consider it a priority,’ Kofoed points out. ‘And they think that’s ok. This is not okay. It’s one of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage. A simple change in how you view it can do wonders.’
7. Only Having Sex in the Bedroom: Kofoed enthuses, ‘Let’s mix it up, people. Obviously, if you have children, privacy becomes a concern. In that case, take advantage when your kids are away. Or make good use of your bedroom wall.’
8. Being Too Critical of Your Own Appearance: ‘This is one huge damper on a good sex life,’ Kofoed explains. ‘Even if you don’t look like your ideal self, try not to be critical of your amazing and beautiful body. Instead, work to take care of your body physically, but also work to change the critical and negative scripts in your head (or in conversations with others). Doing this will fill you with the most attractive and desirable kind of beauty.’
9. Not Taking Care of Yourself Physically and Mentally: ‘No one feels good by not taking good care of themselves,’ says Kofoed. ‘Not possible. Do yourself and your spouse a favour by working in a daily walk or run.’
While most women around the country had a sexual wellbeing revival when they read Fifty Shades of Grey, some of the amazing sex scenes did seem a little too fictional. Sure, it makes for great reading, but when you try out a bit of Christian Grey action in real life and it doesn’t pan out, it can leave you feeling a little, well, unsatisfied. Therefore, we turned from the page to real people and real sexual health experts, who can give you tips guaranteed to make your life a whole lot more sexy.
1. Lacy Lingerie: Stephanie F, 26, of Athens, Georgia, details, ‘Whenever I wear matching bra and panty sets, I feel sexier all day. I used to save them for special occasions, but now I find that I need that extra kick on blah days, like Mondays.’
2. Shower Sex: ‘In Skyfall, Daniel Craig as James Bond has an especially steamy shower scene,’ notes wellness writer Anna Davies. ‘Give your guy the 007 treatment by surprising him as he’s rinsing off after a long day.’ I’m sure he won’t mind getting sweaty all over again!
3. Underwear Swimming: Becky C, 30, of Manhattan, Kansas, recalls, ‘A couple of years ago, my husband and I were hiking on a hot day and we came to a stream. I’ve never been skinny dipping, but I did go in the water in just my underwear. It was really fun! Now, whenever we’re hiking and it’s hot, we’ll “underwear swim,” and then lie in the sun to dry out. It feels sort of like breaking the rules, but we won’t get charged with indecent exposure.’
4. Lipstick Lift: Amy L, 34, of Savannah, Georgia, comments, ‘I have tubes of my favourite shade of lipstick everywhere. Whenever I’m in a bad mood, I find myself reaching for it. The act of applying it is soothing, and I know this sounds weird, but I love seeing the lipstick blot on a napkin. I’m a really good lipstick blotter, and seeing the outline gives me a weird confidence kick.’
5. Flirt with the Barista: According to Davies, ‘Giving a guy a compliment — even when you’re attached, not really interested, and know you would never want to be with him in the real world — will make his day, and give you confidence in yours’
6. Playful PDA: ‘A lot of long-term couples stop touching each other, except when they want to have sex,’ says sexuality educator Charlie Glickman. ‘Make a point to hold hands watching TV, or put your hand on his thigh in the car to stay in sync.’ Davies advises, ‘Think back to your favourite moves as a teenager — your hand in his back pocket or engaging in a long kiss even when you’d see each other as soon as algebra was over — and add them to your repertoire for a sexy boost.’
7. Thigh Highs: Tiffany James, CEO of UnderCoverWear, a boutique lingerie company, recommends investing in a pair of thigh-high sheer stockings – even in the summer. The surprise of wearing them out of season will seem even sexier, especially if that’s all you’re wearing, and wearing something out of the ordinary in the bedroom can help to ease your inhibitions.
8. Say Cheese: Mandy L, 31, of Birmingham, Alabama, admits, ‘I’ve never gotten past the sexy selfie phase. Thankfully, now I have the good sense not to share the photos with anyone but my boyfriend. But the entire process makes me stop being critical of the way I look and makes me think, yeah, I’ve still got it.’
There are various different components that can lead to a healthy sex life. The emotional benefits of having a good partnership that involves sexual intimacy are numerous, and can actually have serious and long-lasting benefits for your wellness and sense of wellbeing.
Couples who go to bed at the same time, for example, tend to be more in sync, and show a commitment to the idea of partnership. It also facilitates more sex and intimacy. Pillow talk can lead to great communication between couples, as they feel relaxed in an intimate environment to talk freely to their partner.
In addition to the above, what you wear to bed can also make a big difference to your sex life. It’s tempting to wear something baggy and comfy to bed, but instead you should try to think about bedtime as being a date with your partner. Slipping into a sensual item of clothing shows your partner that you really love being in bed with them.
Whatever your size and shape, being sexy is totally achievable. Nice nightwear and lingerie is not designed exclusively for slim and curvaceous model types. Remember that your partner chooses to be with you – the size and shape that you are. Feeling sexy when you know your partner thinks you are sexy should come that little bit easier.
Choose sexy underwear for you and not your partner. Your partner will think you are attractive in any of the range of nice sleepwear on the market, and you will look and feel more sexy when you are confident in what you are wearing. Similarly, avoid anything that is uncomfortable (such as boned corsets and itchy lace) – something smooth and silky is the best way to go (and remember you do have to sleep in it too, so it should be comfortable).
Good hygiene is important to your wellness, as you were often told as a kid. But what about your sexual health? Were you ever taught about sexual hygiene? Sadly, we don’t often discuss sexual hygiene properly, but this can play a vital part in your overall wellbeing. Not only can poor sexual hygiene turn off your partner – creating an embarrassing situation for the both of you – but it can also increase your risks of infections. So, how do you keep yourself fresh and feeling good?
- Understand underwear. It is always recommended that you wear fresh and clean cotton undergarments – especially if you’ve just had a sweaty workout. Even if the sweat has dried on your undies, it can create a breeding ground for bacteria and make your private parts vulnerable to infection, as well as folliculitis, in which your hair follicles become are inflamed and infected. Guys, remember that you should always leave a good amount of space for breathing room and ventilation, so avoid tight briefs.
- Don’t hold it in. If you force yourself to delay urination, you allow bacteria growth, because urinating helps clean out bacteria in the urinary tract.
- Com-MAN-ds. For men specifically, you need to keep your sexual parts clean, as they are outside of your body and so are at greater risk of infection. Don’t ignore washing your penis as you could experience a build-up of smegma, which can cause irritation. If you haven’t been circumcised, you should wash the head of your penis with lukewarm water, gently pulling back your foreskin as far as possible without causing any discomfort, till the head of your penis reveals itself. Don’t even think of washing the urethra and/or urinary tract as you could damage it.
- Womanly wisdom. As a woman, you have the added hassle of periods, so you need to remember to change your tampons or sanitary pads every three to six hours when menstruating, depending on your flow. Otherwise, you could risk infections or, at the very least, an unpleasant smell. Remember to clean the external part of your vagina daily with soap and warm water, and pat it dry rather than rubbing it.
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