Peer Advocacy Programs Reduce Bullying of Special Needs Students

Bullying is destructive and hurtful no matter the age of the victim. From young children on the playground to adults in the boardroom, bullying causes low self-esteem, depression, poor performance and a whole host of other issues.

 

When the victim has special needs, the effects can be even more devastating. According to the Interactive Autism Network, more than 60 percent of children on the Autism Spectrum have been bullied at some point. Children with an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) are particularly vulnerable to bullying; the behaviors associated with ASD, including poor social interaction skills, repetitive behaviors and emotional outbursts are common targets for bullies who want to establish power over someone else. Children with ASD have experienced everything from teasing and taunting to behaviors designed to trigger an outburst, all for someone else’s amusement.

 

Increased awareness of ASD has gone a long way toward curbing bullying behaviors, but concerned educators and parents realize that there is much more work to be done. One of the most successful means of stopping bullying behavior among young people involves going right to the source: the children themselves.

 

Peer Advocacy In a Nutshell

Educators who work with special needs students have an in-depth understanding of ASD and how best to work with these children. Other students do not have that understanding, but what they do have, in most cases, is an innate sense of right and wrong, as well as a natural propensity for compassion.

 

That’s why some advocates have developed peer advocacy programs specifically designed to give students the tools they need to stop bullying behaviors. Essentially, peer advocacy means that one (or more) students acts on the behalf of another. The action might include telling the bully to stop, reaching out to the victim to offer support or calling a teacher or other adult for help.

 

Experts believe that peer advocacy is so effective because not only are children more likely to see bullying behavior than adults, but there is great power in their influence. A fellow student telling you to stop teasing someone, or advisingthe victim to tell an adult, likely has more impact than an adult offering the same advice. In addition, training kids to identify and respond to bullying behavior helps educate children on what is and is not acceptable and might prevent them from doing or saying things that could be considered bullying themselves.

 

The Basics of Peer Advocacy

An effective peer advocacy program requires more than simply telling children to tell a bully to stop or to notify a teacher when they see bullying. Particularly in the case of special needs students, children may not be able to effectively identify all types of bullying or how to respond appropriately.

 

For those reasons, special needs–focused peer advocacy training should involve:

 

• Explaining what bullying behavior is, and how it affects victims. Children should understand why they intervene, so when they see bullying they will feel more compelled to take action.


• Improving understanding of the group for which they are advocating. For example, children with ASD often have trouble interpreting facial or verbal cues and therefore may misinterpret awell-meaning remark. Again, improving understanding not only helps peers adjust their own behavior, but it also helps them identify a problem. If they know that a classmate begins moving their arms in a certain way when they are upset, and they see that happening on the playground, they will know to investigate and intervene rather than stand idly by.


• Training in the options for intervention. Sometimes children do not act on another’s behalf because they aren’t sure what to do. By outlining the various options for getting help, they will be better equipped to help when need be.

 

Many schools are implementing peer advocacy programs as a part of a larger school-wide anti-bullying or zero-tolerance program. However, because the needs of ADS students are so unique and specific, it’s important for such programs to have specific measures in place to handle bullying cases that involve them. Training and encouraging students to advocate for their peers is a good place to start and will make a significant difference in reducing the amount of bullying overall as well as producing compassionate, kind and responsive individuals.

Categories: advocacy programs, autism spectrum, bullying, bullying behavior, bullying behaviors, Children, improving understanding, nbsp, peer advocacy, special needs

3 Essential Elements: How to Eliminate Workplace Bullying

There are a lot of things that get in the way of your corporate wellness – deadlines, work-life balance and nagging colleagues to name but a few. However, one thing that really takes its toll on wellbeing is workplace bullying; potentially preventing employees from thriving and flourishing in their careers, and instead causing them to become demotivated, distressed and disgruntled at work. As an employer, it’s important for you to tackle workplace bullying head-on.

 

According to Rachel Clements, BSc Hons, M Psych, MAPS, co-founder and Director of Psychological Services and Principal Organisational Psychologist at the Centre for Corporate Health, ‘We know that being in a toxic work environment where bullying and harassment is allowed to occur poses a significant risk to any organisation. Workplace bullying impacts people and their ability to undertake their jobs efficiently and effectively, as well as having a detrimental impact on their psychological health and wellbeing. These negative effects come at a significant financial and personal cost, not only to the business but to its employees as well.’

 

For Clements, there are three fundamentally necessary components to eliminate workplace bullying:

 

1. Organisational Culture: Clements explains, ‘Organisational culture is defined as the collective behaviour of all employees, which influences how we behave and how we feel at work. We know that reactive cultures which are either aggressive (competitive or negative and destructive) or passive (not making important decisions, being negative behind others’ backs, avoiding confronting issues or concerned with being liked and popular) lead to a range of bullying and harassing behaviours. On the other hand, organisations that have creative cultures whereby people operate from a position of confidence, tend to be leaders in their field, have employees Research & Insights who build effective relationships with each other, achieve and perform well, and are well encouraged, supported and developed at work.’

 

2. Leadership and Managerial Competency: ‘Turning around a workplace where bullying and harassment occurs requires managers at all levels to continually improve their leadership and management skills to ensure they are consistent with a culture of zero tolerance for bullying and harassment,’ Clements asserts. ‘How executive, senior and middle management behave has a dramatic impact on the performance and behaviour of staff throughout the whole organisation.’ If your management team is lacking in this area, conduct specific skills based workshops to address important behavioural competencies such as performance management, managing conflict, bullying and harassment, organisational change. You should also get your managers to develop strong relationships with staff so that people will feel comfortable coming to your leadership team with issues, and the leaders can then tackle those issues early-on.

 

3. Quality Workplace Relationships: To prevent workplace bullying, open communication, effective teamwork and supportive workplace relationships are vital. Clements advises, ‘Ensure that all staff at induction are educated about acceptable and unacceptable workplace behaviour, as well as relevant policies and procedures in this regard. Have regular opportunities for teams to come together both formally and informally for social, networking and professional development. Conduct skills based workshops to address important team competencies such as managing conflict, working with individual differences, mental health awareness and emotional resilience. Facilitate regular team meetings to ensure that open communication is maintained and any issues are addressed and “nipped in the bud”.’ You should also aim to boost morale and motivation, as this makes bullying and harassment less likely to occur.

 

Clements concludes, ‘Turning around a culture of workplace bullying and harassment is no easy task, but with commitment and effort, it is possible to ensure a happier and healthier workplace for all staff to enjoy.’

Categories: based workshops, bullying, eliminate workplace, leadership, managing conflict, open communication, organisational culture, skills based, workplace bullying, Workplace Relationships

Pigtail-Pulling in Power Suits: The Rise of the Office Bully

You’d think, at a certain age, having to deal with bullies is far behind you. However, the modern workplace proves that, sadly, this is not the case. The office bully can hinder corporate wellness, as well as your personal sense of wellbeing. Not only are you unhappy and stressed whenever the office bully is around, but a hostile working environment also hampers your productivity, which has disastrous effects for your company. Therefore, making sure everyone gets along is a worthy goal for anyone to take on.

 

“Workplace bullying” is a pretty broad term but it basically means a repeated, wellness-damaging mistreatment of one or more people. This encompasses all negative behaviour, such as verbal abuse, offensive nonverbal behaviours, or purposefully interfering with your ability to get your work done. It sounds like a simple problem to stamp out, but more and more people are reporting being the victim of workplace bullying. In 1998, 25% of those survey revealed that they were treated rudely once a week. However, this rose to 50% in 2011, and recent evidence has also come to light which suggests you’re now more likely to be bullied in the office if you’re unattractive.

 

It’s becoming glaringly obvious that workplace bullying is a problem. Many victims of an office bully have reported developing health issues such as anxiety and depression, while some have even had to leave a job to escape a negative working environment. But why has the situation become so dire? Some experts blame the recession, as this may have put so much undue pressure on your boss that he or she is taking it out on you. It may be the case that it’s just a natural personality thing, as many workplace bullies score high on tests of narcissism and self-orientation.

 

However, Dr. Christine Porath, a Georgetown University professor who studies workplace incivility, points out that you can become so overwhelmed by your work responsibilities that you don’t even realize when you’re being rude to others. While the cause of workplace bullying remains to be determined, Greatist expert and psychologist Dr. Michael Mantell, who helps train managers in workplace harassment prevention, says that recent research on workplace bullying has paved the way for efforts to prevent it. His main advice is to not let someone bully you out of achieving your best work: ‘You can’t change the bully, but you can prevent yourself from being a victim.’

Categories: bully, bullying, Negative Behaviour, office, office bully, productivity, recession, work, working environment, workplace, workplace bullying

What Would You Do if Your Child Was Being Bullied at School?

Bullying in a corporate environment is one thing, when everyone is a grownup who can deal with things for themselves, but what do you do when bullying is affecting the wellness and wellbeing of your own child?

 

Many parents think that when their child is being bullied, they are really powerless and there is nothing they can do to improve the situation, but this is simply not the case.

 

The first and most important thing to do is to talk to your child about the bullying situation. This will teach them about what is acceptable behaviour and what is not, and this will enable them to learn both what is happening when they are being bullied, and also what behaviour they might exhibit which can be classified as bullying.

 

If your child is being bullied you can have a sit down with your child and brainstorm ways to help the bully stop picking on them. First of all, it is worth trying to stand up to the bully (not physically) and tell the bully to stop in a clear and calm way. Bullies don’t expect people to stand up to them and this show of confidence may be enough for them to leave your child alone. Your child could also try using humour to diffuse the situation (but not at the expense of themselves or the bully). They can also always try walking away from a difficult situation, and can try staying near adults in the playground, or staying with their friends. Children should also be taught that they should always report bullying to a trusted adult such as their parent or a school teacher, as too many children suffer in silence.

 

There are also situations when adult intervention is entirely appropriate, such as when bullying is prolonged, vicious, physical or is distressing to a child.

Categories: bullied, bully, bullying, Child, nbsp, situation

Is Your Child Being Bullied Because of a Food Allergy?

While food allergies are already a health concern for children, if your child does suffer with allergies their wellbeing may be under threat in other ways; bullying. This is according to a new study, published in the journal Paediatrics, which found that many children with food allergies may be bullied at school – sometimes with potentially dangerous threats to their physical health.

 

As a result of the study, which focused on 251 families at a New York City allergy clinic, the researchers found that about one-third of kids said they’d been bullied specifically because of their food allergy. More often than not, the bullying took place at school in the form of teasing. However, there were many cases in which bullies threatened their victims with the food to which they were allergic – waving it in front of them, throwing it at them or saying they would sneak it into their other food. Dr. Jay Lieberman, an assistant professor of paediatrics at the University of Tennessee Health Science Centre, in Memphis, who was not involved in the study, explained, ‘With food allergies, that kind of bullying does carry a theoretical physical risk.’

 

If a child with a food allergy eats the offensive food, their wellness can be affected by hives, swollen lips, stomach pain and even potentially life-threatening reactions in which the child can’t breathe and their blood pressure plummets. Fortunately, these severe reactions are rare, says lead researcher Dr. Eyal Shemesh, an associate professor of paediatrics and psychiatry at Mount Sinai School of Medicine, in New York City, as parents of food-allergic kids are usually vigilant about avoiding the culprit foods. She explains, ‘What really affects these children’s lives is everything that surrounds the allergy – the food avoidance, the anxiety,’ and the bullying.

 

If other children have to avoid bringing peanut butter to school, for example, they may resent the child who’s allergic. Even in small amounts, peanuts can cause a serious allergic reaction, even through simple skin contact with a peanut. Therefore, both Shemesh and Lieberman note the importance of parents, schools and doctors being aware that food allergies can make kids a target for bullying. When the researchers asked the children about their quality of life – including their emotional wellbeing and how they were getting along at school – children who were bullied reported a lower quality of life than their food-allergic peers who were not targeted.

 

The interesting distinction was that, among the kids who were bullied, those who’d told their parents reported a better quality of life. As to why that was, the researchers remain unclear. Shemesh comments, ‘I don’t know if the parents did something about the bullying. I just know they knew about it.’ Whether the parents called the school or otherwise helped their child, or the kids just felt better after talking with their parents, Shemesh recommends that parents ask their children if other kids have ever bothered them about their food allergy. He also advises educating all children on how serious food allergies are.

 

Dr. Mark Schuster, chief of general paediatrics at Boston Children’s Hospital, agrees that education about food allergies – for kids and adults – could help. ‘When it comes to food allergy, people often roll their eyes,’ Schuster says. ‘They think that kids are just trying to avoid a food they don’t like. And they may not understand that food allergies can be serious.’ He adds that parents of the children with food allergies also need to be aware of the signs of bullying, such as your child not wanting to go to school, appearing down, and complaining of chronic stomach aches or headaches.

Categories: allergies, bullying, Children, Food, food allergic, food allergies, food allergy, Kids, Parents, Research, york city

How To Deal With Your ADHD Child Being Bullied By Others

Bullying is a serious issue affecting the mental/emotional health of many children all over the country. Bullying is defined as aggressive, repeated behaviour from one child, directed at another, and falls into three categories: verbal bullying (name calling, threatening), physical bullying and relational social bullying (excluding someone, leaving someone out deliberately etc.).

 

There are many different ways that people can be bullied, and many different reasons for the bullying. There are also many different ‘reasons’ why children get picked on by bullies, but whatever these reasons, the end result is the same: damage to their emotional wellness and wellbeing.

 

Children who have ADHD are often targets of bullying because of their impulsive behaviour and lack of social skills. Studies have shown that children with ADHD are more likely to be victims of bullying than those without the disorder, and are also at risk of becoming bullies themselves.

 

Your child may be being bullied if you notice that their behaviour has changed, such as them eating less or more, and if they seem more sad and anxious than before. They may also have physical injuries or lose personal items, and they may seem to be ill more often than before. Low grades and a lack of interest in social situations are also classic signs.

 

The best thing you can do if you suspect your child has become a victim of bullying is to speak to them about the situation. Hopefully, your child will open up to you about what has been occurring, but if they are reluctant to talk about it (which is common in children with and without ADHD) then contact their teacher or school counsellor and speak to them in confidence. Ask them to address the problem, and if you feel that after a period of time it has not been appropriately dealt with, contact the police. Your child may also need lots of support and perhaps some counselling to help them deal with their experience.

Categories: ADHD, bullying, Child, Children, nbsp

Should Parents Be More Worried than Ever About Teen Sex?

In Ontario, fifty different groups have asked officials to implement its highly prudent new sexual health education curriculum, which has been ready to go for the last three years. Yet politician Dalton McGunity, 24^th Premier of Ontario, Canada from 2003 to 2013, backed away after some hysterical fundamentalist protests. For Rick Salutin, Canadian novelist, playwright and critic, there’s more at work here than just political caution; ‘fear of a general panic among adults about what the hell is going on with kids and sex on the Internet.’

Salutin explains, ‘A sophisticated arts critic recently told me she was aghast at sexual imagery her nieces can now access. A battle-scarred senior journalist who’s fearlessly exposed major public horrors says the oral and anal sex that kids see online is “just wrong.”…I’d like to add a touch of historical perspective.’ According to Salutin, in the 1950s the FBI compiled a 119-page dossier in the 1950s on hidden sexual lyrics in “Louie Louie,” an early rock ‘n roll classic. ‘When there was no Internet there was terror of playing vinyl at different speeds,’ he says.

‘I’m not saying there are no new risks or challenges about sexuality for youth today,’ Salutin notes. ‘There are but there always were. Adults might want to provide models but they forget they received no usable models themselves. Parental models are always obsolete. Each generation is more or less on its own, though it would be nice to get a little help. That’s what the sex ed curriculum tries to do: some terms and facts but even more, through discussion with elders, a sense that others have handled comparable stuff with at least some success, thereby providing kids a sense that they, too, will be able to deal with this and – most important in my opinion – we have confidence in your ability to do so.’

Yet it’s not just the fears about student sexual wellness that Salutin has a problem with, but also how children’s wellbeing is being affected by bullying. ‘Literally no one, according to kids and teachers, considers themselves a bully,’ Salutin says, but rather there is the usual human range of conflict, aggression, and damage. He asks, ‘does categorizing it all with a simplistic, one-sided term, as if it’s the H1N1 virus, which you can then seek a cure for and pass laws against – help, or make things harder?’ Salutin adds, ‘Bullying (or what it ineptly refers to) and sexuality aren’t sidelines to juggle so that the real task of taking arid tests like this week’s EQAO exams can occur. They’re the essential concerns of education, as an ongoing intergenerational examination of life’s challenges. It’s why we have teachers, and schools.’

Categories: bullying, Parental Views, Teen Sex

Meditation, Intuitive Guidance & Counselling to Overcome Abuse

It is shocking how commonplace abuse is and once it has stopped or been stopped, how do we get over it and rebuild ourselves and our lives?

 

Abuse comes in many forms and at many different times in life. It can be so mild and so well disguised that you hardly register it as abuse or so full on that there is no mistaking it; but in all cases the receiver of the abuse always feels powerless to do anything about it.

 

We can be sexually abused, physically abused and verbally abused, the latter often coming in the form of bullying or of undermining confidence. The common factor in all these different types of abuse is that they all undermine our understanding of our self-worth at a deeply subconscious level. All forms of abuse creates victims.

 

There is a misconception that to be a victim you have to be someone who has a weak character. This is so very clearly not the case, either when the abuse is carried out on a child or on an adult. It is easier for us to understand why a child would succumb to abuse, especially by an adult and someone they know and trust, as is sadly often the case, but how can this happen to an adult? Why don’t they stand up for themselves and fight back?

 

An abuser works in an insidious way, feeding data into the person’s mind until they lose sight of who they are, who they always knew they were! Value systems, trust and self-confidence erode, giving the perpetrator of the abuse the way to continue.

 

The majority of abused adults I meet are anything but weak characters. They are often feisty, strong people who no-one would ever call a wimp! In fact it is precisely because they are strong, capable people who have control of most aspects of their lives that the abuser is able to, and again I use the word, insidiously work on them.

 

The victim (child or adult) usually blames themselves and feels immense shame. In the case of sexually abused children perhaps the abuser persuades the child that what is happening is a good thing and the right thing even their ‘special secret’.  With physical and violent abuse and bullying, the child or adult will be terrified that they will make things worse for themselves by creating a fuss though sadly, by keeping quiet they of course enable and prolong the abuse.

 

What happens to abused children when they become adults if they have not been rescued, if their voices have not been heard? Can we even imagine the frustration caused by the impotence of just being a child? Everything is completely out of their control. Can we begin to imagine the despair of the child; the anger, shame and humiliation, lack of self-esteem of the adult they become?

 

Frequently as adults they themselves become self-abusers, continuing this negativity in their lives, being ‘seduced’ by the familiar pattern, or sometimes even by becoming an abuser of others, perpetuating a learned pattern of behaviour. When these children have grown into adults, (and remember this adult has no idea of their self-worth), they experience anger and shame at the injustice of what has happened to them. This may be aimed at their abuser, perhaps adults within their immediate circle whose help they may have (often fruitlessly) tried to enlist. Mainly the anger and shame they feel is of themselves, believing they are to blame and have somehow brought this abuse upon themselves. As a direct result self-abuse may begin. For example self-harming, excessive promiscuity, addiction to alcohol or drugs; the need to continue the familiarity of abuse is extremely powerful.

 

One thing common to all though, is the absolute certainty that they cannot trust anyone and that they will be betrayed at some point. As a result and as a self-fulfilling prophesy, they subconsciously destroy one way or another, any chance of close relationships.

 

Abuse is yet another reason why I am such a strong advocate of children learning to meditate as early as possible, and it is possible for children to learn from the age of 5. Through the quietening and strengthening process of meditation, our children have the possibility of achieving a stronger sense of themselves, their identity and self-worth.

 

The quietening process of Meditation also helps us become receptive to Intuitive Counselling and combined with Meditation the abused person will be gently guided to look at it, acknowledge it and accept it and themselves, enabling them to move forward towards discovering or rediscovering themselves, their strength and their self-worth.

 

All of us hold conversations in our minds which can be very negative and damaging and unnecessarily self-critical; but for an abused person, those mind conversations are extreme. Meditation can completely transform those conversations from negative to positive ones and, at the same time, quieten the incessant chattering and nagging of the monkey mind. With this new positivity and strength we are able to accept and take on board ways to change our situation(s), putting past experiences well and truly behind us and embracing the present and future with less fear and with self-assurance.

 

Difficult life experiences are part of life. None of us is completely exempt. These experiences may always, in some way, be a part of us but they need not be obstacles in our lives by preventing us from having healthy relationships and living our lives to the full. Learning to quieten at soul level through Peace of Mind Silent Meditation will ensure that we do.

Contact Sonia Wynn-Jones MBRCP at:

Sonia@peaceofmind-online.com  or call 07968 078 455

Categories: abuse, bullying, meditation

Destructive Behaviour: Why Are we Prone to Violence?

Many people assert that human beings are the most enlightened of the animal kingdom, but then why are we so self-destructive? Unlike most animals, humans engage in many behaviours that damage the wellness of others, and even our own physical and emotional wellbeing. Whether it’s lying, cheating, stealing or killing, our apparently intelligent species can be extremely nasty, spiteful, self-destructive and hurtful, so let’s take a look at a few of those behaviours: violence and bullying.

You cannot look through the recorded history of our species and not notice we have a violent streak. Some researchers believe that humans crave violence, due to genetics and the reward centres in the brain. However, if you go back far enough (we’re talking millions of years), evidence indicates that your ancestors were more peace-loving than you are today, albeit with signs of cannibalism among the earliest pre-history humans.

According to a 2008 study, it appears that humans crave violence just like they do sex, food, or drugs. Reported in the journal Psychopharmacology, researchers found that the clusters of mice’s brain cells which are involved in other rewards are also behind their craving for violence, and the same can be applied to human brains.

Study team member Craig Kennedy, professor of special education and paediatrics at Vanderbilt University in Tennessee, commented, ‘Aggression occurs among virtually all vertebrates and is necessary to get and keep important resources such as mates, territory and food. We have found that the reward pathway in the brain becomes engaged in response to an aggressive event and that dopamine is involved.’

However, other researchers, such as David Carrier of the University of Utah, believe that our violent behaviour has evolved as a tendency to help with survival. ‘Aggressive behaviour has evolved in species in which it increases an individual’s survival or reproduction, and this depends on the specific environmental, social, reproductive, and historical circumstances of a species. Humans certainly rank among the most violent of species,’ the biologist said.

If you look at bullying, which is not always violent but certainly exhibits violent emotions, you can see instances in both children and adults. According to Sarah Tracy, director of the Project for Wellness and Work-Life at Arizona State University, the apparently non-violent forms of bullying can actually be the most violent, or at least the most damaging, in the long term.

‘Bullying, by definition, is escalatory. This is one of the reasons it’s so difficult to prevent it, because it usually starts in really small ways,’ she said.  According to psychologists, bullying occurs because we crave status and power, and, again, it’s in our evolutionary status. Studies on the bullying behaviour in monkeys have indicated that the behaviour may stretch way back in our evolutionary tree.

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Destructive Behaviour: Why Are we Prone to Violence?

Categories: bullying, Self-Destructive, Violence