How To Get More Peace Of Mind When Caring For Elderly Parents At Home

 

Taking an elderly parent into your home and caring for them can be a stressful time for any family. Often this move for parents is because they are beginning to be physically or mentally impaired in some way. Part of the stress is the concern for their safety and health and what you may be responsible for in future. Here are some ways to ensure their safety and increase your own peace of mind as you embark on this journey together.

 

Parents Who Are Physically Disabled

If your parents are physically handicapped, they will need extra help to carry out daily activities. There are many safety devices available to make it easier for getting around in your home. Wheelchairs and other medical equipment can be provided by Medicare when a physician has prescribed their use so ask about what you may be qualified for. Other equipment is also available at medical supply stores, and can occasionally be found at discount stores and second-hand stores at a much lower price.

Parents who are still able to walk may have weakened limbs, or may have balance problems. A walker placed in their bedroom can be of great benefit in helping them to move around on their own. Safety rails placed on the bed and grab bars in the bathroom can also help to stabilize them, when getting up or taking a shower. Make sure they are installed correctly and at the right heights.

 

Parents Who Are Mentally Disabled

Parents who are beginning to have memory problems will need help taking medication. They will require supervision which will have to increase as they age. It’s very important not to leave a parent who has memory problems unsupervised in the kitchen, or in other areas where burn or safety risk is a factor. When taking the memory impaired out for any reason, it is best to avoid large crowds where the elderly can become confused and supervision becomes difficult.

Day care centers for the elderly can provide age appropriate activities for the memory impaired, while allowing you a little time for yourself. They are especially helpful for those with Alzheimer’s, where the goal is to retain as much memory as possible for as long as possible. As Alzheimer’s progresses, wandering can become a problem as well. It is very important to have increased home security so elderly who are beset by this condition do not become confused and leave the home. A home security system like the ones on Northstar alarm reviews which can be controlled by a touchpad security code, are very helpful for insuring that a parent with Alzheimer’s will not wander outside. Security gates placed in key areas in the home can also be very beneficial.

Parents who have mid-term Alzheimer’s may need the help of a nurses’ aide. Nurses’ aides are employed at many home health care agencies and are trained in helping older people with memory problems. Check your insurance to see if they will help with the cost of employment.

 

Staying Educated

One of the best things to do when taking care of parents in your home, is to take advantage of as many opportunities to learn about elderly caregiving as possible. There is a lot of research available online to help you, as well as forums where people share their own experiences and ideas. Another very helpful resource is assisted living facilities and nursing homes in your area. They will usually have someone who can give you advice if you are having a difficult problem in caregiving. Churches with senior ministries can also give practical help and can guide you to social organizations that assist in taking care of the elderly.

 

Caring for an elderly parent can be a blessing instead of a worry. Many children who care for elderly parents say a close relationship is fused with them at this critical time, and provides lasting memories for adults and kids alike.

 

Categories: Alzheimer's Disease, disabled, elderly, elderly parent, elderly parents, health, Home, home security, memory impaired, memory problems, mental, nbsp parents, old age, Parents

Swap the School Run for the School Walk

 

Written by Jenny Caton

 

Several recent studies have suggested that children who walk to school are happier, healthier and perform better in the classroom than those who are driven or take public transport. And it’s not surprising really. The benefits of exercise and fresh-air on our health and wellbeing are well documented. In addition, walking to school is generally a much calmer way to start the day than sitting in traffic with stressed-out parents, or travelling on a rowdy bus. Walking to school also gives children the opportunity to socialise with other kids, or to chat with their parents.Walking, rather than driving, has environmental benefits too and can help reduce the traffic fumes around school playgrounds.

 

Of course, ditching the car and walking to school takes a little panning but the benefits are very rewarding. Some schools operate ‘walk to school’ or ‘walking bus’ projects but if yours doesn’t you could ask the school if it’s something they would consider, or get together with other parents to arrange your own scheme.

 

If you live too far away from school to walk all the way, consider parking at a friend’s house or on a nearby street and walk the final stretch – this will also avoid trying to find a parking space close to school.

 

Some parents worry that walking to school will take up too much time but when you factor in the time you’d normally spend stuck in traffic or trying to find a parking space, you might find that walking is actually quicker and more enjoyable.

 

For more information about setting up a walking to school scheme, visit: www.walktoschool.org.uk

 

Categories: caton, jenny, nbsp, Parents, parking space, School, walk, Walking, written

Dakota Johnson"s Parents Discouraged Her From Acting

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Actress Dakota Johnson’s parents Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson, who are both actors themselves, didn’t want her to join the acting industry.

 

The Fifty Shades of Grey star said that while she attended high school, her parents were hoping their daughter wouldn’t follow them into the industry, reports femalefirst.co.uk.

 

When asked if they pressured her not to act, she said, “When I was in high school, sort of, they wanted me to study. But I wasn’t into it.”

 

The 25-year-old’s father was instrumental in bringing her up and she joked that she had even learnt how to shoot a gun before her teenage years. (Also Read: 27 Years after Her Mother, Dakota Johnson Will Host Saturday Night Live)

 

She said, “I think before I was nine, he taught me how to ride a horse, a motorcycle, drive a car, shoot a gun.”

 

Categories: dakota, dakota johnson, high school, johnson, nbsp, Parents, School

Govt calls for overhaul of sex education

 

Respectful attitudes to sex would become a core part of sex education in schools under an overhaul recommended to the Government.

The revamp would aim to broaden the subject beyond a narrow focus on the physical mechanics of sex and reproduction.

The proposal has come from Parliament’s health select committee after a cross-party inquiry which found New Zealand’s high teenage-pregnancy rate was partly the result of inconsistent and sometimes non-existent sexual and reproductive lessons in schools.

Sex education is mandatory, but the 18-month inquiry found programmes were “fragmented and uneven”, parents were able to keep children out of them and classes often focused on physical aspects of sex.

The select committee recommended that the Government give all schools two years to create programmes that meet Ministry of Health standards.

The Education Review Office would monitor whether schools were meeting the needs of students of all cultures, ethnicities and sexual orientations.

Cabinet ministers said yesterday that they would “partially accept” the recommendations.

The committee made 130 recommendations for changes to sex education and to healthcare, maternity care, alcohol abuse, nutrition and early intervention programmes.

The Government accepted 55 recommendations, partially accepted 54, noted 14 and rejected seven.

Committee chairman and National MP Paul Hutchison said he was encouraged by the Government’s overall response and was optimistic it would adopt the sex education proposals.

“Given the issues with the Roastbusters case and other recent cases, there’s a growing view that we need to do this. I would hope that the Government will look to the evidence and then form a basis of action.”

Others were sceptical.

Family Planning chief executive Jackie Edmonds said it appeared the Government had no intention of requiring the ERO to monitor whether schools were meeting students’ needs in sexual health and education.

The inquiry found that the ERO had been “very passive” in monitoring sex education.

Labour health spokeswoman Annette King said the Government’s response was a “two-fingered salute” to two years of hard work because it did not commit to deadlines and half-heartedly accepted the recommendations.

Late last year, Prime Minister John Key said the Government would have to tread carefully in expanding sex education in schools because some parents felt it would cut across their responsibilities, while others felt more education would enable young women to know their rights.

Dr Hutchison said the Government would have to consult parents and schools. ”I think this area needs to be made … acceptable to the majority of parents and students so that they will regard human reproduction and health as a normalised part of general education, rather than putting their head in the sand over it.”

A former board of trustees member who resigned over “unacceptable” sex education classes at her school opposes recommendations that sex education programmes be mandatory for all schoolchildren.

Jo-Anne Sim resigned last month as a trustee of the Blaketown Primary School on the West Coast after a teacher taught what Ms Sim said were explicit lessons that were not appropriate for Year 7 and 8 pupils.

The classes included discussion about oral and anal sex, flavoured condoms, and pleasure points – despite parents having been told in writing beforehand that pupils would be taught only the basics.

Ms Sim said families should be given a choice when it came to educating their children about sexual health.

“Some parents like to be the people who give that advice in the family and guide the children at the right time,” she said.

But if sex education was to be taught in schools, it had to be by a health professional.

- NZ Herald

Categories: Education, Government, health, ms sim, Parents, Schools, select committee, sex education, sexual health

Could Second-Hand Smoke Be Damaging Your Child’s Health?

A new study has found that the health concerns associated with the wellness and wellbeing of children who live with smokers could be more serious than previously thought. A shocking report shows that children who are exposed to cigarette smoke at home do not respond as well to asthma treatment as those who live with non-smoking parents in a non-smoking household.

 

Children who are regularly exposed to cigarette smoke had lower levels of an enzyme that helps them to respond to the main asthma treatments. This report was published in a journal called Chest recently.

 

This is bad news, as the number of children in the UK who have asthma is on the increase. Over a million children in this country are believed to be suffering from asthma, and they are most commonly treated by steroids and inhalers. For some patients, however, these treatments are not totally effective, leaving them unprotected from harm in the event of an attack.

 

It is now known that passive smoke can not only worsen the symptoms of asthma in children, but can actually impair their response to treatments in the form of inhaled steroids. It is not yet known how or why this effect occurs.

 

Researchers into the subject have found that children who have severe asthma, and parents who smoke at home, have a lower level of an enzyme called HDAC2, especially when compared like for like with children who do not have smoking parents.

 

This enzyme – HDAC2 – is required in the human body to help it benefit from steroids, and to allow them to exert their anti-inflammatory type effects over the symptoms of asthma.

 

To come to this conclusion, researchers looked at a group of 19 children who were suffering from severe asthma. Nine of the children in the group had a parent who smoked whilst ten of the children had parents who were non smokers.

Categories: Asthma, Children, cigarette smoke, nbsp, Parents, severe asthma, smoke, smoker, smoking parents, treatment

Six Ways to Make Prom Night Safer for Your Teenager

You want your teenager to have a fun prom night, but this can be a time when their wellness is really at risk. After-prom parties pose such threats to your child’s wellbeing as underage drinking, drugs, sex, and the possibility of drinking and driving. This is why you need to communicate with your teenager before the prom, and create a few safety nets so that he or she does have fun and memories – but also has no regrets and comes home safely. With that in mind, we spoke to family wellness expert and educational psychologist Dr. Michele Borba, author of Parents Do Make a Difference: How to Raise Kids With Solid Character, Strong Minds, and Caring Hearts, to find out how to make prom night safer.

 

1. Reach Out: Dr. Borba advises, ‘Talk to other parents about post-event activities to ensure alcohol won’t be present. Identify alcohol-free activities and safe driving policies. Go to the school (usually there are parents meetings about the event) and listen so you know the plans. You can also discuss those with your teen so [he or she] knows you’re in the loop.’

 

2. Get on Board with Other Like-Minded Parents: ‘Talk to parents of your teen’s friends or his or her date,’ Dr. Borba instructs. ‘Set clear curfews that ideally match each others’. It’s a lot easier to say to a teen: “We all feel…” Many parents meet prior to a prom and grad night to agree on rules and the “plan.” Many parents also join together to have dinner parties in their own homes (the junior class can be the waiters) and after-prom parties that are safe and alcohol free.’

 

3. Set Clear Rules and Boundaries: Dr. Borba recommends, ‘“No drinking, co-ed sleepovers. Be where you say you will be – no leaving the prom.” Set a curfew, and clear consequences about breaking those rules. You also may want to review rules on photo taking – “Only pictures from a professional photographer” should be permitted. You don’t want inappropriate photos of teens plastered on their Facebook pages and seen by the rest of the world the following day (and every other day of their lives).’

 

4. Say NO to Hotel Room Rentals: ‘You know teens will not be ordering tea and crumpets with these hotel room rentals,’ says Dr. Borba. ‘Say NO! If you do agree, remember you are libel for the safety of those kids as well as the hotel property (which is usually on your credit card.)’

 

5. Don’t Underrate Your Influence: According to Dr. Borba, ‘Parents are the primary influence on their teens so you must talk about your expectations and your concerns. Research finds that parents who talk about the dangers of drinking with teens have teens who did much less drinking (compared with students who didn’t have that “talk” with their parents). You should be talking about alcohol many times anyway. These big nights are just more opportunities.’

 

6. Use the News to Connect the Dots: ‘Our “lectures” or talks about what happened in the “old days” don’t connect with teens, but often actual events do,’ Dr. Borba asserts. ‘So try combing the news to find a real story as your talk opener. “Did you hear sad story about what happened to the teens at their prom night?” (Unfortunately there are tragic stories every May and June about teens in car crashes so search the news). Talk about how drinking and drugs can cause you to lose your inhibitions, do things you might regret later, and even lead to accidents and death.’

Categories: alcohol free, dr borba, hotel room, night safer, Parents, Prom, prom night, prom parties, room rentals, Safety, set clear, Teenagers

How Can You Help Your Children Cope With A Divorce?

Separation or divorce may be difficult enough for a couple, but for children it can be incredibly troubling. Almost all children whose parents are separating experience feelings of anxiety, fear, loss, anger and confusion. However, children are stronger than people think and they can and do recover from this. In fact, children of separated parents virtually always grow up relatively healthy and well-adjusted. Parents can play an important role in helping their children through the crisis and challenge of separation, with understanding and guidance. With this help, children can begin to learn how to deal with the emotional trauma of divorce.

During their elementary school years, in particular, children typically experience feelings of sadness and loss in relation to their parents’ separation. Grief, sorrow and feeling as though they have a lack of security are all common. Some children even feel embarrassed or ashamed of their familial situation. Whereas some kids will display their emotions outwardly, with crying and such emotional output, others will struggle to keep their emotions inside. In this situation, parents can help their children to express their feelings verbally and non-verbally, such as through art or writing. They can also acknowledge their children’s feelings and help them to understand why they are feeling the way that they do. Age-appropriate explanations for why you are divorcing can help to do this, so that they know it isn’t their fault that you are separating. It may be useful to let your kids meet other children whose parents have split up, so that they know they aren’t alone – there are separation and divorce groups which you can enroll in for this.

Fear and anxiety are also common reactions to divorce. The security and safety they feel in their family unit is suddenly being uprooted and that can be difficult for children to cope with. It may leave your children feeling insecure or scared, so you need to avoid conflict in front of your children to try and limit this. You should aim to minimise the disruptions in your family routines and try to work together on issues, as you would have before, in order to stop your children feeling as though they’re part of a broken family unit. You should also tell your children what changes they can come to expect in their lives, such as if they will be moving, who will look after them and so on. This will help them to understand how life will be and minimise their feelings of insecurity and fear. It’s important during a divorce that you reiterate to your children how much you love them and that you’ll continue to take care of them – some children worry than because you’re leaving your partner, that you’ll leave them as well.

 

Allow older children to have some input into custody and visitation plans, although naturally you should maintain the ultimate responsibility for decision making. The most crucial thing to remember is that you should continue to provide predictable and steady parenting so as not to leave your children feeling in disarray. If your children are angry as a result of your divorce, let them know that it’s ok to be mad, but teach them healthy ways to channel this anger such as through talking or art. If your child’s behaviour becomes inappropriate or extreme, it’s important to remain firm with them and help them to navigate their feelings in a healthier way. In doing this, they can learn to understand that these emotions are normal but simply need to be managed in a better way.

Categories: Children, children feeling, divorce, experience feelings, Family, family unit, feeling, feelings, Parents

Sucking Your Child’s Dummy Could Protect them From Eczema

When it comes to family wellness, do you follow the hygiene hypothesis? If you do, you may be guarding your baby’s wellbeing against asthma and eczema. This is according to researchers at the University of Gothenburg, who say that parents who “clean” their baby’s dummy with their mouth improve their baby’s health with regards to these conditions. At 18 months, babies who had come into repeated contact with their parents’ saliva were 12% less likely to have asthma and 37% less likely to develop eczema.

You may have been advised to soak your baby’s dummy in equal parts white vinegar and water, and, each time it hits the floor, to wash it in hot, soapy water. However, the “hygiene hypothesis,” posits that when kids are overly sterilised, they never learn how to fight off pathogens. Because the bacteria you pass on to your children, whether through sucking their dummy or kissing, are basically harmless, you may afford your children increased immunity, at least temporarily, from allergic diseases. Therefore, the study “Pacifier Cleaning Practices and Risk of Allergy Development”, which was published in the journal Paediatrics, sought to see who was right.

The researchers specifically targeted families in which allergic disease was prevalent, and, every six months, interviewed the new parents of 184 infants about their pacifier cleaning processes. The Swedish parents were also asked to keep journals tracking their behaviour, and the team of investigators collected the infants’ saliva in order to analyse their oral microbes. The babies were tested for an array of allergies at 18 and 36 months.

The results of the study revealed that the 18-month-olds of parents who sucked dummies to clean them were 12% less likely to have asthma, 37% less likely to have eczema, compared to children whose parents rinsed or boiled their dummies. Moreover, the children of “saliva parents” appeared less likely to be sensitive to airborne and food allergens. However, when the infants were all tested again at 36 months, there were no longer any significant differences in terms of asthma or allergen sensitivity. Yet, there was still a distinction in eczema susceptibly, with the children of parents who sucked dummies being 51% less likely to have eczema.

Categories: Baby, Children, dummy, Eczema, hygiene hypothesis, pacifier cleaning, Parents, Research, saliva, sucked dummies

Gender Difference: Is it Simply a Matter of Choice?

When you’re having a baby, it’s not uncommon for people to have a preference for the sexual selection of the unborn baby. Obviously, the main thing that all new parents are interested in is the wellness and wellbeing of the baby, but secondary to that, it’s quite common for parents to long specifically for a little son or daughter.

 

Fuelling this are all kinds of old wives’ tales about how to influence the gender of your baby. Some say that if you want a boy you need to eat meat, for example, and if you want a girl you need to eat lots of sweet foods. There are times of the month that are supposed to be better for conceiving each gender, and positions that you should use.

 

In these modern times, there are also ways to scientifically choose a specific gender. There are clinics that can screen fertilised embryos to see if they have genetic diseases, and these clinics can also pick up whether an embryo is male or female, allowing parents (in theory at least) to choose the gender of their unborn baby.

 

What many parents don’t realise, however, is that whilst they may be able to choose the biological sex of their baby, they are not actually able to pick the gender. Sex is determined by chromosome alignment and type of genitalia, but gender is a social construct, meaning a state of being male and female.

 

Societies have different rules about how men and women should act, dress and behave. People who don’t fit into the societal norms for gender behaviour can make others uncomfortable (such as men who like to dress up in women’s clothes). As a result of these societal rules, gender identity is not well understood. Some think that gender is fixed at a very young age, whilst others think that it remains fluid for a long time.

Categories: Baby, Gender, identity, nbsp, Parents, pick, Sex, unborn baby

Sex: How Do You Broach The Subject With Your Kids?

Talking to your kids about sex can be difficult and embarrassing for many parents. However, it is an important issue and something that every child needs to know about when they reach a certain age. These are some useful conversation starters to help you ease into the conversation without any worries or embarrassment for either one of you, so your kids stay well informed throughout puberty and beyond.

1 – Answer your child’s questions honestly

You may be surprised the first time your kids ask you about sex and sexuality, but instead of asking them about their reason for questioning, respond by saying ‘I’m glad you asked me about that’. By rewarding them for asking questions, they’ll feel more comfortable in asking again if they have any other questions in the future and it will strengthen the bond between you both.

2 – Introduce the topic yourself

You don’t have to wait for your kids to bring up the topic of sex – you can start the conversation yourself. Many parents put off talking to children about sex, assuming that the child will ask when there is something they want to know. But some children feel embarrassed or reluctant to talk about sex with adults, so they may not want to ask questions even when there is something they want to know. You wouldn’t wait for your child to bring up questions about other topics, such as personal safety or religion, so why sex? It’s a parents responsibility to discuss sex with their children, and its an important issue. You don’t need to cover all ground in one go, but bringing it up in little sections can make it more manageable and will keep your child informed.

3 – Be honest at all times

You won’t always have an answer to the questions your children face you with, but you don’t need to lie to them. If you don’t know, say so and explain that you’ll find out and get back to them with an answer. If you think you’ve misinformed your child, don’t hesitate to tell them and say that you’ve had a better answer now that you’ve had time to think about it.

4 – Discuss your feelings

There’s no doubt you will feel awkward discussing sex with your children, but it’s ok to explain to your kids why you feel uncomfortable. It’s a good idea to do this as it helps to explain to your child that it isn’t their questions making you uncomfortable necessarily, but that your parents didn’t discuss it with you so you feel ill-equipped, for example.

5 – Make sure they talk to both men and women

Many parents focus on informing their daughters about menstruation and puberty, but assume that their sons will pick it up as they go along. This isn’t always the case, and it’s important that both genders receive sex education from their parents. In many households, it’s also the job of the mum to talk about sex, but both parents should be involved. Children should hear the viewpoint of both men and women, as it teaches children that men and women can talk about sex together, which is an important communicative skill in adulthood. If your child is raised in a gay or lesbian household, it’s a good idea to ask for help from close relatives or friends of the opposite gender, so that your kids get the benefit of both viewpoints when they’re learning about this topic.

Categories: Advice, Child, Children, feel, Kids, Parents, Sex

How to Talk to Your Teenager about the Dangers of Abuse

This weekend, a 16-year-old girl from Mumbai has claimed that she was raped at a party in Kandivali after her drink was spiked. This the second such incident in a fortnight that has involved a minor and sexual abuse occurring in the midst of friends, which makes it a family wellness wake-up call to parents and young people alike. This is according to child wellness experts, who have commented on the incidents and advised parents and teenagers that it is better to be safe than sorry.

According to Pooja Taparia, founder and CEO of NGO Arpan, which works towards freedom from child sexual abuse, ‘We encourage parents to talk about personal safety. Instead of focusing on dos and don’ts, create an environment where you have an open communication channel with your children.’ Taparia advises that you need to talk very openly with your children and discuss the risks that such incidents involve. It is also recommended that, for the sake of your teenager’s wellbeing, you know about their friends. However, avoid becoming too intrusive or judgmental because your teen will only want to rebel.

Psychiatrist Hemangi Dhavale commented, ‘It might seem old-fashioned, but it isn’t advisable to let young girls stay over with unknown friends,’ and so you need to take some responsibility and ensure your young children are supervised. She added that you should also be aware of any new friends your children might make, as well as the kind of entertainment they indulge in. ‘Parents could keep a set of number of friends so that if their child doesn’t return home they at least have a contact point,’ Dhavale said.

However, a worrying fact of abuse is that a lot of it occurs within your circle of loved ones and neighbours. Sandeep Shinde, of voluntary organisation Childline, noted, ‘Even when children report such abuse to adults, parents often try to suppress such complaints or fail to acknowledge them. It is essential that they take cognizance of such complaints and act on them.’ Counsellors encourage children to speak up against abuse, even if it is initiated by a loved one, and to confide in someone they trust.

How to Talk to Your Teenager about the Dangers of Abuse

Categories: abuse, Children, Dialogue, Friends, Parents, Sexual Abuse, Teenagers, young

Adults Financially and Emotionally Dependant on Parents

If your children are under the age of 30, chances are that you still play a disproportionately large role in their emotional and financial wellness, and even take care of smaller aspects of their wellbeing. This is according to a new report from the Co-operative Group, which has identified a ‘lost generation’ of 18 to 30-year-olds in the UK for whom debt is normality – a “debt-eration” – and who are finding it hard to become independent in the country’s challenging economy.

 

The study found that young adults in the 18-30 age range have asked their parents for financial help for a range of things from food shopping costs (43%) to holidays (36%) to debt payments (16%) and house purchases (8%). However, the economy cannot take all the blame for this strange outcome of family wellness, as it goes beyond financial support. 80% of emerging adults still rely heavily on their parents for help with basic tasks and decision-making, including transport (40%), chores such as cleaning and ironing (34%) and help with finding a job (27%).

 

The report has identified a “debt-eration”, with nearly two thirds (60%) of 18 to 30-year-olds admitting to having debt, and an alarming 77% not alarmed or worried by it. This debt has many sources, including student loans (63%), credit cards (31%), personal loans (23%), overdrafts (19%) and money borrowed from parents (18%). On broader issues, the report found that two-fifths (40%) are dissatisfied with their lives so far, feeling that they should have achieved more in their lives.

 

According to Martyn Wates, the Co-operative Group’s deputy group chief executive, ‘The findings of our study into 18 to 30-year-olds living in Britain today offers a unique insight into their view of the world and their prospects for the future. It should not be forgotten that it is these young adults who are ultimately going to shape the future of Britain for years to come, so they need support and encouragement to thrive.’ Psychologist Donna Dawson added, ‘In order to help this generation to cope better, parents should encourage independence, initiative and self-sufficiency. This in turn will generate the self-confidence needed to tackle work and money issues, as well as help them to develop a more realistic outlook during an uncertain economy.’

Adults Financially and Emotionally Dependant on Parents

Categories: adults, debt, Debt-eration, group, operative group, Parental Dependancy, Parents, report, Research, year olds, young adults

When is the Right Time to Talk to Your Kids About Alcohol?

We all know that parents have the most important influence on child and family wellness, so it’s not surprising when, time and time again, research shows it. Even though there are other factors involved in your child’s wellbeing, such as peer pressure, you have the largest influence on your child’s attitude towards drinking alcohol.

 

A 2009 report from US Department of Health and Human Services’ Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, for example, showed that teens who talked to their parents about the dangers of substance abuse were ‘less likely than those who did not have such conversations to have been past month users of alcohol (16.2% vs. 18.3%).’ So it’s not a giant leap to make in saying that you are the most important factor in preventing your child from engaging in underage drinking. You need to talk to your children about drinking, and you should start early and speak often.

 

Again, research proves that this is something you already know. In a recent survey by global market research firm Ipsos, which asked 1,000 adults across 11 different countries about how they are talking with children about drinking, it was shown that the vast majority of respondents believe it’s important for parents to talk with their children about alcohol. Of the parents with kids aged between five and 17, more than 90% in 10 of the 11 countries surveyed agreed with this statement. Still, the study also found that while you may think it’s a good idea to talk to your kids about alcohol, there’s a large gap between believing in it, and actually doing it.

 

So why is there this disconnect between beliefs and actions? The survey noted the number one reason for not speaking up about drinking was because the parents thought their child was too young to have the conversation. Among the US respondents, for instance, 89% of parents gave this reason. But are we being too sensitive or delicate with our kids? After all, the US surgeon general actually recommends that ‘it’s never too early to start talking with young people about the dangers of underage drinking.’ Other excuses parents gave were that they trusted their children to make the right decision, and that they weren’t sure how to start the conversation.

 

According to Carol Clark is Global Vice President of Beer & Better World at Anheuser-Busch InBev, ‘To help parents with these conversations, for example, AB InBev launched Family Talk About Drinking, an underage drinking prevention programme developed by experts in the areas of education, counselling and family counselling, more than 20 years ago in the United States. Today, in collaboration with local experts, the programme is now available in 10 countries, in the local languages. Family Talk gives parents resources, from suggested conversation starters to supportive online communities, to help them talk with their children about drinking. There are also similar excellent parent programmes offered by Mothers Against Drunk Driving; the US government; and in our other markets around the world like Brazil and Mexico.’

 

She adds, ‘It’s also important to acknowledge that parents are not the only solution. The effects of underage drinking impact each one of us, and we are all responsible for helping to address the challenge. We at AB InBev have also pledged to provide ID-checking materials to 500,000 bars, clubs, restaurants and grocery stores worldwide by the end of 2014 to help them prevent sales to minors. We have also committed to training at least 1 million bartenders, waiters and others around the world who serve and sell our beers on responsible alcohol beverage sales.’

Categories: ab inbev, Alcohol, Drinking, family talk, Parents, parents gave, Research, substance abuse, talk, underage drinking

How to Keep Your Sex Life Healthy After Having Children

Many people think that having children is the end of your sex life. Of course, this is the case for many couples, who find that they are tired out by the extremely strenuous process of caring for children (especially when they are small) and fall out of the way of being intimate with their partner. Women also may find that after having children, they feel differently about their bodies (which will undoubtedly have changed due to the pregnancy). Hormones can play a strong role here too, and often it is many weeks or even months after a birth before women feel like having sex and are physically ‘turned on’ in the same way.

 

Another problem that many couples have is the physical presence of a baby in their bed. It is becoming more and more commonplace for a baby to sleep in bed with the mother, and there are mixed thoughts on whether or not this is a safe practice for infants. Sometimes this is done for the sheer enjoyment and pleasure of having a small person next to you in the bed – this is a natural feeling for mothers, who often savour having their infant by their side. Sometimes it is done in order to simply get a good night’s sleep, as babies can latch and De-latch with the breast during the night and therefore take care of their own nocturnal needs without causing too much disturbance.

 

It does represent a physical and practical barrier between husband and wife in the bed however and can reduce intimacy.

 

Having got into the routine of having baby in the bed, it can also be hard to put baby into their own bed, as they suffer from separation anxiety, or simply feel less comfortable there.

 

Whilst going through this time when you have a baby in your bed (or bedroom), one alternative is to use your spare room as a sort of ‘hotel room’. The change in location will make things feel sexier, and the lack of a baby being present will help to set the mood. You can always go back to your own bed for a proper sleep afterwards.

Categories: Baby, birth, Children, feel, nbsp, Parents, Sex, sex life, sleep

Could Your Child be at Risk of Tug-of-War Parenting?

As parents, you provide the firm foundation for family wellness, so what happens when those foundations are shaken? You’re responsible for your child’s wellbeing, and most parents understand the seriousness of that responsibility, but sometimes children can become the victims of parental tug-of-war.

 

Whether you’re going through a bad patch or even considering splitting up, putting your child in the middle of every argument can wreak havoc on their wellness. No child wants to hear their parents slinging mud at each other, or to be subject to sob stories and have to choose sides. Often, children who are put in this tug-of-war situation end up resenting both parents, and become involved in dysfunctional or abusive relationships themselves, with anyone who will show them attention.

 

This is the story of teenagers like Sandeep, who came to husband-and-wife therapists Rajan Bhonsle, MD, and Minnu R Bhonsle, PhD, for help dealing with his tug-of-war parents. ‘He had grown up witnessing prolonged depression and suicide attempts by his parents,’ the therapists explain. ‘Accompanying his parents to psychiatrists and rushing them to hospitals to have their stomachs pumped after an overdose of drugs was part of his childhood. After every attempt, they would tell him how the other spouse was responsible. And how much they actually loved him.’

 

Even though many parents would say they love and care about their children, sometimes this is not so noticeable in their behaviour. According to Dr Minnu Bhonsle, using your child against your spouse ‘is nothing short of child abuse. By making your innocent children pick up the tab for the hostilities between you and your spouse, you scar them emotionally for life.’ Your children look to you as their solid foundation, relying on you for their personal security and safety. However, when they have to witness your open hostility, and are dragged into the middle of things, they can no longer feel secure. Plus, even if you resolve the argument, your children aren’t likely to be there to see it, and so they are exposed to the fight without the closure of the peace-making afterwards.

 

If you openly expose your problems to your children, the chances are that they will blame themselves for what’s happening between you, and so won’t stop you from leaning on them. Sharing the burden of both parents is the worst thing for your children, psychologically speaking, as they become “emotional orphans”. There is a role reversal in which your children have to shoulder the responsibility of family wellness, and be kind of parents to their own parents. Those on whom the kids depend are now depending on the kids, which can play havoc with their mental health.

 

There are so many different kinds of families out there that there’s no “normal” family in the world, but there are functional and dysfunctional ones. Your family is dysfunctional when its members cannot attain the desired goals of closeness, self-expression and meaning. It is in your family that your children learn their values and attitudes, so if the home is one of hostility, anxiety, stress, and depression, this is what they will learn and express. Your children will carry these attitudes with them throughout their lives, so it’s important to understand that having a healthy and harmonious relationship with your partner is not only good for the two of you, but also in the best interest of your children. This affects their wellbeing now and in the years to come, but by using your children against your partner, and vice versa, you’re condemning your kids to the same reality that you’re fighting in now.

Categories: arguing, Child, Children, emotional orphans, Family, Family Wellness, nbsp, Parents, Tug-of-war

Is Your Child Being Bullied Because of a Food Allergy?

While food allergies are already a health concern for children, if your child does suffer with allergies their wellbeing may be under threat in other ways; bullying. This is according to a new study, published in the journal Paediatrics, which found that many children with food allergies may be bullied at school – sometimes with potentially dangerous threats to their physical health.

 

As a result of the study, which focused on 251 families at a New York City allergy clinic, the researchers found that about one-third of kids said they’d been bullied specifically because of their food allergy. More often than not, the bullying took place at school in the form of teasing. However, there were many cases in which bullies threatened their victims with the food to which they were allergic – waving it in front of them, throwing it at them or saying they would sneak it into their other food. Dr. Jay Lieberman, an assistant professor of paediatrics at the University of Tennessee Health Science Centre, in Memphis, who was not involved in the study, explained, ‘With food allergies, that kind of bullying does carry a theoretical physical risk.’

 

If a child with a food allergy eats the offensive food, their wellness can be affected by hives, swollen lips, stomach pain and even potentially life-threatening reactions in which the child can’t breathe and their blood pressure plummets. Fortunately, these severe reactions are rare, says lead researcher Dr. Eyal Shemesh, an associate professor of paediatrics and psychiatry at Mount Sinai School of Medicine, in New York City, as parents of food-allergic kids are usually vigilant about avoiding the culprit foods. She explains, ‘What really affects these children’s lives is everything that surrounds the allergy – the food avoidance, the anxiety,’ and the bullying.

 

If other children have to avoid bringing peanut butter to school, for example, they may resent the child who’s allergic. Even in small amounts, peanuts can cause a serious allergic reaction, even through simple skin contact with a peanut. Therefore, both Shemesh and Lieberman note the importance of parents, schools and doctors being aware that food allergies can make kids a target for bullying. When the researchers asked the children about their quality of life – including their emotional wellbeing and how they were getting along at school – children who were bullied reported a lower quality of life than their food-allergic peers who were not targeted.

 

The interesting distinction was that, among the kids who were bullied, those who’d told their parents reported a better quality of life. As to why that was, the researchers remain unclear. Shemesh comments, ‘I don’t know if the parents did something about the bullying. I just know they knew about it.’ Whether the parents called the school or otherwise helped their child, or the kids just felt better after talking with their parents, Shemesh recommends that parents ask their children if other kids have ever bothered them about their food allergy. He also advises educating all children on how serious food allergies are.

 

Dr. Mark Schuster, chief of general paediatrics at Boston Children’s Hospital, agrees that education about food allergies – for kids and adults – could help. ‘When it comes to food allergy, people often roll their eyes,’ Schuster says. ‘They think that kids are just trying to avoid a food they don’t like. And they may not understand that food allergies can be serious.’ He adds that parents of the children with food allergies also need to be aware of the signs of bullying, such as your child not wanting to go to school, appearing down, and complaining of chronic stomach aches or headaches.

Categories: allergies, bullying, Children, Food, food allergic, food allergies, food allergy, Kids, Parents, Research, york city

Why Doesn’t Your Teen Talk About Mental Health?

Mental health problems can be hard to diagnose in teenagers, as mood swings and hormonal behaviour are often seen as a regular part of the puberty process. So, as a parent, how can you tell if your child’s black days are part of regular teenage angst, or whether they’re an indication of more deeply troubled mental wellness.

 

One problem parents face is that teenagers can be just as frightened about seeking help for their mental well-being as they are over the problem itself. Your teenager will struggle to get help anywhere without your knowledge and consent if they are under the age of 16, which means that, if they don’t want to open up to you, they may not get any help at all. This is why it is essential that you foster a good relationship of openness about wellness with your child, without judging or belittling their problems.

 

One option your teenager has is to speak to someone at their school instead of coming to you first, but many schools do not have a full-time counsellor. Even if there is someone for your child to talk to within a certain degree of confidentiality, the counsellor has a certain responsibility to you as the parents if your child shares something you need to know about, and this, again, can put teenagers off opening up if they don’t want you to find out about their problems. There is also CAMHS, the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services, available to your teenager through the NHS, but again, a referral to their team usually requires parental consent – and can take an extremely long time regardless.

 

Still, before we even get to the point of parental confidences and getting help, your teenager still needs to know that he or she has the symptoms of mental illness, which can be problematic in itself considering the state of the national curriculum. Some people argue that discussing the issues of sex, drug and mental health education has no place in an academic setting, but the fact remains that around one in three children in every class will or do suffer from a diagnosable mental health disorder. Therefore, as parents, it’s your job to educate your child and yourself on potential mental health symptoms, and give your teenager the help he or she needs, as well the knowledge that you are here for them, and they are not alone.

Categories: Child, Communication, health, mental, Mental Health, Mental Health Problems, Parents, teenager, Teenagers

Are Parents of Special Needs Kids Always More Special?

If you have a child with special needs, you might find that people treat you differently. Many people admire parents of children with special needs, as though it takes an extra effort on their part to maintain family wellness. However, for Eliana Tardio, the proud mother of Emir and Ayelen, both with Down syndrome, having a child with special needs doesn’t make a parent any more special.

Eliana notes, ‘Usually people introduce me by saying things like: “she’s a very special mom,” or “this woman is outstanding for the work she’s doing with her kids and her community,” but honestly, I don’t deserve to be thought of as more special for loving my own kids, that’s what every good parent does!’ She explains that love doesn’t see differences; the challenge for parents with special needs children is to learn to see positive stuff where others would only see challenges.

‘Yes, we get challenged in many ways, and if you look at it from the outside, you may be deceived, seeing some sort of superhero fighting for the rights of their kids,’ she says. ‘In reality, the only thing happening, is a regular parent doing his best to learn and cope with a life that was never part of the plan.’ Eliana comments that parents of typical kids can be just as special, adding, ‘The diagnosis of a child doesn’t make anyone more special, but the individual determination to learn from any experience that we must face during our lives is what sets us apart.’

If you’re a parents of children with special needs, you have to spend more time specifically looking out for their wellbeing, as your kids will need extra care and services. When your children’s conditions are severe, you may even have to dedicate your life to them. Eliana notes, ‘It turns out though, it’s not so different when you have a typical child. You may decide on your own accord to give him more or less attention as he doesn’t need you as much as a child with special needs, but when you decide to give that child unconditional love and the best side of you every day, you are also a special parent.’

 

Categories: Child, dedication, doesn, eliana notes, Kids, Parents, special, special needs

Why is it Important to Teach Your Kids Maths at Home?

You may not realise, but your attitude towards maths may be affecting family wellness. This is according to Education Department director of numeracy and literacy Rod Nancarrow, who says that parents are unintentionally sending the wrong message about the importance of learning maths and often feel uncomfortable helping their children with the subject.

You may have not been much good at maths when you were at school, but telling your kids so makes the subject unappealing. According to Rod Nancarrow, ‘This type of statement has become too accepted and conveys a negative message. We don’t want children to think it’s OK not to enjoy it or be good at it. Many parents are uncomfortable helping their child with maths … we need to make maths comfortable and engaging.’

It’s not just Rod Nancarrow who understands the importance that your attitudes have on your child’s educational wellbeing; SA Primary Principals Association president Steve Portlock agreed many mums and dads had misgivings about the subject. He noted ‘They often think of the algebra they did at the end of high school and think “I wasn’t any good, I can’t help,” but that’s certainly wrong … research shows when parents show an interest in homework students succeed more.’

If you do feel uncomfortable teaching your children maths, UniSA early childhood education expert Associate Professor Dr Susan Hill advised reading aloud. Not only does reading to your children help them improve their literacy skills, but there are plenty of books out there that can also help you teach numeracy at home. Dr Hill commented, ‘Books like The Very Hungry Caterpillar do this really well. Many books are full of concepts to do with time, place and numbers.’

So how do other parents do it? Denise Mourtzios encourages her daughter, St Peter’s Girls School Year three student Angela, to tackle maths in many ways. She explained, ‘We do a lot of baking and use cups and scales to weigh things, play board games like Junior Monopoly and add up the numbers on car number plates.’ St Peter’s Girls School principal Fiona Godfrey added, ‘Maths, more than ever, is a shared responsibility between school and home.’

Categories: Books, Maths, Parents

What Every Parent Needs to Know About ADHD

If your child’s mental wellness is affected by Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD, the first thing you need to know as a parent is that it is not your fault. You are not a “bad parent”; your child simply has a mental health issue that is as non-preventable as any other health problem. Once you understand this, you can move on to improve your child’s behavioural and mental wellbeing.

 

So what is ADHD? The condition is believed to be caused by low levels of the neurotransmitters dopamine and norepinephrine, which are responsible for carrying messages from one neuron to another, and particularly associated with attention, organisation and managing emotions. However, the causes of ADHD are still not fully known. The term ADHD describes three types of behavioural problem in children; overactive behaviour/hyperactivity, impulsive behaviour and difficulty in paying attention.

 

The difference between your child and other energetic, restless children is that your child also has a range of other problem behaviours that can make them very difficult to care for, manage and teach. However, an important thing to remember is that ADHD is in no way related to intelligence – children at all levels of ability can have ADHD. While some children may grow out of it, two out of five ADHD sufferers continue to have problems in adolescence and beyond. If your child does not receive help, they may still see their main symptoms of ADHD, such as attention difficulties, improve with age, but other behavioural problems like disobedience or aggression may get worse.

 

Therefore, it is important to get your child help as early as possible, to protect them from social and emotional problems later on in life. Fortunately, there are things you can do to help your child manage their behaviour. For example, you can attend a behaviour management programme. These are run by professionals to help parents learn ways of talking, playing and working with your child that can improve their attention and behaviour. You might want to bring other people along, such as other carers and friends, as these techniques are useful for everyone to know. You may also want to try stimulant medication for your child, as this can reduce your child’s difficulties.

Categories: adhd children, Causes, Parents