Missionary Magic: How to Reignite Your Favourite Position

The missionary position often gets a fair amount of undue snobbery in sexual health articles. Usually, you get told to amp up your sexual wellness with new and exciting positions, instead of the dull, forgettable, missionary style. However, many of us still like the missionary position and, damn it, we’ve got good reasons. The missionary position works no matter the state of your sexual wellbeing. If you’re really in the mood, it ticks all the right boxes, if you’re tired, you can still manage a morsel. Caviar it ain’t, but it’s like a good burger; you know how it’s going to look, how it’s going to taste and how long it will take to eat. And you can always make things fancier with the right side dishes – you just need to know how.

 

First of all, let’s talk aesthetics. Would you rather lean over your partner with all your wobbly bits hanging in all their glory, or do you look better reclining with your face turned up, lips parted expectantly and your hair arranged over a bank of snowy white pillows? Part of sexual wellness is self-confidence, and you know you look pretty alluring in the missionary position. You don’t have to be self-conscious about your body because most of it is covered by your partner’s. All you need to do to make it sexier is arch your back and your partner your best ‘Come get me’ look.

 

Then you have the issue – or lack thereof – of performance anxiety. If you’re lying on your back with nothing on your mind, you’re in the ideal place to unwind and enjoy yourself while he does all the work. As reader Joanne, 32, remarks, ‘I find it easier to have an orgasm in that position, because I’m more relaxed. With the others I’m constantly thinking about what I should be doing.’ Beth, 43, adds, ‘I can concentrate on me.’ If you’re feeling coy, shy or just plain lazy, the missionary position is absolutely the way forward. Moreover, this position can really make you connect with your partner. Being face to face means you can kiss and explore each other, and the missionary position is also the most comforting to finish in — you’re basically cuddling already!

 

The simplicity of the missionary position can be off-putting. How can it be great sex if just anyone can do it, and all you do is lie there? Plus, rumour has it that the name “missionary” came from the fact that missionaries brought the position to inhabitants of the old European empires as a “respectable” position — now there’s a history lesson to get you hot under the collar! New York sex and marital therapist Shirley Zussman, EdD, explains woman may feel pinned down in the missionary as ‘They’re not as free to move around as they are in other positions.’ Clearly, they’ve never wrestled with some of the missionary’s variations.

 

So how do you fine-tune the missionary position to work for you?

 

1. Pillows: Put one or two hard pillows under your hips, tipping your pelvis up for deeper penetration.

 

2. Angles: Your partner can ride high or low, leaning back to watch or forward to whisper and kiss. He can also lean to one side so you can caress each other’s genitals.

 

3. Legs: You can straighten your legs to create more tension, spread them wide, wrap them around his waist or put one or both over his shoulders.

 

4. Arms: He can hold your arms above your head or you can grip the headboard and thrust back at him.

 

5. Variation: New York psychiatrist Avodah Offit, MD, author of The Sexual Self, suggests, ‘Pull your knees up to your chest, then spread them just wide enough for your husband to get between them. With your calves on either side of his back, support his weight on the backs of your thighs. If you want to move you can rock back and forth with him. The advantage of this position is that you don’t have to be particularly supple. Taking his weight in this way also gives you some control, and orgasm is easier because penetration is deeper than if your legs are straight or out to the sides.’

 

6. Kegels: Dr. Offit notes, ‘Kegel exercises alone can aid orgasm. Or you can bear down, pressing your vaginal lips and clitoris toward the man’s body.’

Categories: better sex, missionary, missionary position, nbsp, partner, position, Self Confidence, sexual, Sexual Wellness

No-Effort Upgrade: Traditional Sex Positions With a Twist

Traditional sex positions have a tendency to get old rather quickly, but does that mean you have to go for health-and-wellbeing-threatening karma sutra-style positions just to keep your sexual health and wellness in shape? Luckily, with a few clever tweaks, you can turn classic sex positions into something hot and altogether fantastic. These improved classics are easy to do, and don’t require you to develop acrobatic skills. More importantly, however, these sex positions deliver for both you and your partner, so we definitely recommend that you give them a try.

 

1. Cowgirl Lap Dance: The cowgirl position is pretty great in its classic form, but adding a chair to the mix takes it to a whole new level of hotness. The man should sit on a kitchen chair, pull the woman close and help her slide onto his lap. Women, make sure your feet touch the floor, as this will enable you to rotate your hips and tease his erection with your clitoris – which makes for a very sexy precursor to intercourse. When you’re ready for intercourse, sitting on his lap in this way will also give you better control than the traditional cowgirl position does, meaning that you can make this ride twice as wild and twice as good.

 

2. Doggy Leg Lift: Doggie-style is a classic that many couples enjoy, but if you’re looking to add a little something extra, a leg lift is definitely the way to go. The woman should bend over on the bed with her legs spread, and the man should lift one of her thighs. This will allow for the deepest penetration possible. Men, twist your body toward hers and drape her thigh across your hip while you thrust. You can either use your free hand to stimulate her clitoris or, if she’s into it, slip your hand into her hair for a gentle tug.

 

3. Missionary with Pillows: With the simple addition of a pillow, the somewhat “vanilla” missionary position can lead to mind-blowing sex. Not only is this  sex position with a twist incredibly easy; it virtually guarantees orgasm – possibly for both of you at the same time. Women, lie down on your back and slide a pillow under your backside. Your thighs should be spread apart and your feet should be flat against the mattress. This enables your partner to penetrate you from an angle that’s deeper than ever before, and bring about unavoidable clitoral stimulation will make your orgasm deliciously intense.

 

4. Spoon Split: For many women, this sex position with a twist is a real favourite as it is both highly intimate and very naughty. While in a traditional spooning position, drape your top leg across his. This will force your thighs into a fairly widespread position, which – even if you’re traditionally quite shy in the bedroom department – can make you feel like a sexual nymph. This position also enables your partner to thrust deeply while also having very easy access to your clitoris.

 

5. Reverse Cowgirl Squat: Facing the bed’s headboard, the man should get on his knees and rest his bums on his heels. Then, the woman should squat over his lap while grasping the headboard, as this will enable leverage as she lowers herself onto his erection. Men, grip the curve of her waist as she rides you so that she will be better able to balance during sex. In this position, a bit of gentle hair tugging and mild spanking are also generally appreciated, and easily accomplished, just make sure your partner is on board!

Categories: Cow Girl, cowgirl, cowgirl position, leg lift, missionary, nbsp, position, positions, sex position, sex positions, traditional sex

Why the Missionary Position is Still Most Popular for Sex

Let’s talk about sex. More to the point, let’s talk about sexual positions. There’s more to a satisfying sex life than simply plumping for the traditional missionary position every time.

But the reality is that there’s a reason the missionary position is so popular. It’s usually the first one everyone tries and – let’s be frank – it’s probably the most comfortable for both men and women. That’s not the case for everyone, of course, but the missionary position usually figures near the top in lists of people’s favourite sexual positions.

The first-ever mention of the missionary position came in sexologist Alfred Kinsey’s famous Kinsey Reports about sexual behaviour in the late 1940s. He called it “the English-American position” but also described how natives of Melanesia in the Pacific Ocean had mocked the missionaries who had arrived to convert them and called their favourite way of having sex “the missionary position”. The name stuck and has been used ever since.

Essentially the missionary position involves a woman lying on her back with her partner lying on top. The position is most common in heterosexual sex but is also adapted for gay sex.

The intimacy of the missionary position certainly explains its appeal. It’s easier to kiss your partner and to maintain eye contact during the act of sex, as well as lots of amazing body contact and skin-on-skin action.

It does have its drawbacks, however, the main one being when the man is much bigger or heavier than the woman. As it’s usually the first position many people experience, it’s also one which some people never vary from and then they wonder why their sex life seems dull.

Exploring sexual positions that work for both of you should be part of a healthy and fulfilling sex life. The missionary position does the job but variety can definitely be the spice of life.

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Why the Missionary Position is Still Most Popular for Sex

Categories: missionary, popular, sexual positions