Shraddha Kapoor: I"m a Shy Person

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She is known for portraying outgoing and expressive characters on-screen but actress Shraddha Kapoor said that in real life she is a reserved person.

 

The 26-year-old actress made lukewarm debut with Amitabh Bachchan’s Teen Patti in 2010 but she got fame two years back with her stint as a budding singer in Aashiqui 2, opposite rumoured boyfriend Aditya Roy Kapur.

 

Shraddha, however, feels that fame has not changed her reserved-self much and she becomes a bundle of nerves whenever she is in public eye.

 

“I am a shy person in real life. I am not very social person. The only people I open up to are my family and close friends. Over the years, I have become more vocal but at the core I am a reserved girl. Many a times I think that I should change myself and become more expressive. People keep telling me to be a certain way as I am an actor but if I don’t have anything to say I can’t. I come out as a shy, nervous person and a little out of place because I need time and my space to become comfortable with someone,” Shraddha told PTI.

 

The Ek Villain star said that feels lucky that all those people in the industry whom she wanted to go up to and speak to, recognised her because of her work.

 

The finest example of this was her recent meeting with Mr Bachchan. “I am much more comfortable around Mr Bachchan now. We met at Piku‘s success bash and he met me so warmly. It was amazing. Back when I did Teen Patti, I was so nervous to face him,” she said.

 

Categories: bachchan, nbsp, people, person, Real Life, shraddha, shraddha kapoor, shy person, teen patti

Addiction: The 5 Signs To Look Out For

 

Addiction is something that impacts almost every person at some point in their life. Whether this is being an addict or associating with one, addiction can have very negative consequences on the addict’s life and the people who associate with the addict. Identifying an addiction can be very difficult as many people tend to keep their addiction a secret because they are ashamed. The following are the signs to watch out for if you suspect a friend or family member is suffering from addiction. The best thing that you can do is be observant of the signs as the addict will try to hide them the best that they can.

 

Behavior Changes

Many times when a person is addicted to something, the world around them seems to become smaller. The addiction takes over their life to the point that the person will give up doing a once loved activity in order to have more time to feed their addiction. The loss of these loved activities can lead addicts to become depressed and lose interest in other passions. This depression often times leads the person into a deeper addiction because the addict is trying to cope with the depression.

 

Trouble At Work

Many times people have professional problems from addiction as their work suffers. This could be showing up late or taking long breaks in order to feed their addiction. Other signs are sleeping at work or missing deadlines frequently when previously this wasn’t an issue the addict had.

 

Legal Trouble

Many times addictions can lead to legal trouble in different scenarios. For example, an alcoholic might receive a DUI and be arrested since they cannot stop drinking even when they know they are going to drive. Legal trouble can also happen if a person is doing illegal things to feed their addiction such as stealing or selling illegal substances. This is the main way that an addict can have a black mark on their record for the rest of their lives so it is important to try to identify the addiction before legal troubles ensue.

 

Physical Changes

This is not always the case with addicts but there are certain addictions that can cause immense changes in a person physically. This could be the way they dress or even the way that they groom themselves. Addicts can stop taking showers or doing regular things as the addiction consumes them. Rapid weight loss can also be another indicator of a drug addiction. There are drugs that are stimulants that cause the addict to stay up for days without becoming hungry. Once the drug has worn off, watch for the addict to consume large quantities of food as they have been fasting because of the drug for days.

 

Everything Seems To Be a Secret

Many addicts are ashamed of their addiction and might feed their addiction in secret. The telltale sign of this is someone who used to be open about everything that suddenly shuts everyone out. It is difficult to spot in teenagers because many teenagers have a secretive nature about themselves regardless if they are suffering from addiction or not. This can be the most difficult sign to spot and address as the person wants to keep their addiction quiet. The addict might deny any problem if confronted with their addiction as they have negative feelings about being an addict.

 

Making sure to watch out for these signs can be the difference between life and death for some addicts. Spotting an addiction early is also a great way to halt the negative impacts of the addiction before irreparable damage to the person’s life has been done. Having support for an addict is important as quick judgements can lead to the addict avoiding you for the negative feelings that they think you have for them. Spotting an addiction is a first step in helping an addict and can lead them on a road to an addiction free life.

 

Categories: addict, addiction, life, nbsp, negative feelings, person

Drug Abuse: 5 Tips to Help Loosen the Grip of Addiction

 

Addictions have such powerful holds on people because they attack them from various angles. Addictions cause people to have emotional, physical and psychological strongholds. First, an addicted party has to deal with painful withdrawal symptoms that occur inside the body. Next, the individual has to suffer with a psychological dependence. Drug addiction can cause a person to commit crimes and get involved with drug offenses, as well. Lastly, an addicted person may deal with emotional problems such as anxiety, depression and irritability. The good news is that an addicted person can overcome even the most difficult problem. The following are five tips for helping to loosen the grip of addiction:

 

Admit That a Problem Exists

The first step to overcoming addiction is recognizing that an addiction does exist. Signs of addiction include fluctuating moods, a decline in work performance, altered personal relationships, physical withdrawal symptoms and strange sleep patterns. Once a person admits that at problem exists, he or she can try to combat it.

 

Find Support Through Loved Ones

Friends and family members can provide assistance for an addicted person. They can give that person a loving and non-judgmental ear when that person needs someone to talk to. Family members can help to support the person through cravings, as well.

 

Secure Rehabilitation Services

Securing reliable rehabilitation services is an excellent way to break the cycle of addiction. Local rehab centers can offer services such as detoxification, counseling, individualized therapy and alternative therapies.

 

Use Mind Over Matter

The mind over matter concept is one that works. A person can find strength if he or she focuses the mind on something bigger and more important than a drug high. Filling the mind with positive and healthy thoughts is an excellent way to remove recurring thoughts of seeking drugs and experiencing the mind’s “reward” system.

 

Change Your Lifestyle

Finally, changing one’s lifestyle can remove that person from the cycle of addiction. An environmental change to a non-depressing area can lower the person’s tendency to gravitate toward depression activities. Changing one’s friends will prevent the addicted person from getting involved with drugs repeatedly. Picking up some hobbies such as artwork, pottery, writing or playing a musical instrument can help to divert one’s attention to positive activities. Theorists suggest that it takes approximately 21 days to create a new routine. Therefore, an addicted person can start to create a new life within three weeks.

 

Starting the recovery process with the previously mentioned tips can help a person to grow out of addiction.

 

Categories: addicted person, addiction, addiction nbsp, addictiona, drug buse, family members, nbsp, person, problem exists, rehabilitation services, Tips, withdrawal symptoms

Early Indicators of Alcoholism to Look Out For

 

Because drinking is so commonplace in various cultures, it’s often difficult to identify when a person is early on their path to problem-drinking or alcoholism. The developed signs are easy to spot, but early indicators are a bit more elusive. These are several early indications that a person is at risk for developing alcoholism.

 

Drinking Alone

A common early indicator of alcoholism is drinking alone and outside of social situations. While this person might still engage in social drinking, they still have no problem consuming alcohol without others around. They might often purchase alcohol in relatively large quantities for the home. For example, this person might purchase a large case of beer with the sole intention of drinking it all themselves. Drinking alone might also be indicative of embarrassment related to the drinking problem.

 

Using Alcohol as Emotional Therapy

Many alcoholics use drinking as a method for self-medication. To an alcoholic, the drink is a “quick fix” that can temporarily wash away all emotional problems, pain, and stressors. This person might be more apt to drink if they’ve had a bad day at work or a catastrophic life event has taken place. According to Rod Gregory, an Edmonton DUI attorney, the risk factor is particularly high if the individual immediately turns to alcohol after something negative has taken place.

 

Failing to Show Effects of Alcohol Use

Alcoholics typically have higher tolerance levels for the substance than average people. This means that it takes quite a bit of alcohol for the person to feel “buzzed” or drunk. The person could be able to remain composed despite consuming large amounts of alcohol. Likewise, the person might not appear to suffer hangovers, sickness, or any other negative effects associated with drinking heavily.

 

Lying about Drinking Habits

Many people that are in the beginning stages of alcoholism will regularly lie about how often or much they drink. They might go out for a night of fun with a few friends, but by the next day, they could possibly deny to others that they did anything at all the night before. Lying about the drinking habit is directly related to embarrassment concerning the addiction.

 

Becoming Defensive When Approached about Drinking

Lastly, a drinking problem could be imminent if the person is perpetually defensive about their drinking habits. When questioned or approached about their drinking, they might either clam up or become annoyed with the concern. In some cases, the irritation from being questioned could be so severe that it causes problems in the relationship between the two people.

 

Categories: Alcohol, alcoholism, Drinking, drinking habits, drinking problem, early indicators, indicators, look out, nbsp, person

4 Surgeries That Could Improve the Quality of Your Life

We all suffer from physical problems that impact our quality of life. Some of these problems are overwhelming, such as chronic pain and broken bones, both which demand immediate treatment. Other problems are smaller and easier to deal with, although they still cause our quality of life to decrease. This article will discuss a few surgeries that will correct small physical problems without a lot of recovery time or pain to make a person’s life better.

 

Laser Eye Surgery

One problem that plagues a great deal of the population is that of having skewed vision. Some people will be able to see perfectly up close and not be able to see at all from far away. Others will be able to see the exact opposite. This problem can be dealt with through the use of corrective lenses, such as glasses or contacts, but still poses and inconvenience to those who have to wear them. A way to fix this problem is to get lasik eye surgery, which is a minimally invasive procedure that has almost no recovery time and will fix a person’s vision so that he or she does not have to wear glasses anymore.

 

Appendectomy

One of the most important minimally invasive surgeries is an appendectomy, which is a procedure that removes the appendix when it becomes damaged or infected. When the appendix is not functioning properly, it will cause a person a great deal of pain. Removing the appendix will make that person’s life much better.

 

Arthroscopy

This minimally invasive procedure can be used on a wide variety of different types of joints, from ankles and wrists to shoulders and knees. It is a procedure that is used to diagnose and repair issues with the cartilage in a person’s joint. The cartilage is one of the parts of the joint that allow it to move smoothly. If it is damaged, then a person’s mobility will be severely limited, but can be restored with an arthroscopy.

 

Cholecystectomy

This is a procedure that removes the gall bladder from a person’s body when it has become infected or inflamed. When this occurs, a person will suffer a great deal of pain, as well as nausea and fever. To resolve these symptoms, a person can have this procedure performed.

 

These minimally invasive procedures are designed to help a person resolve unpleasant symptoms before they get out of hand, without requiring a lot of recovery time. They allow a person to improve his or her life without a lot of difficulty or danger.

Categories: eye surgery, health concerns, invasive procedure, life, minimally invasive, nbsp, person, physical problems, procedure, Quality of Life, recovery time, surgery

Is Bacteria As Bad For Our Health As We Claim?

We’re always hearing about the risks and benefits of bacteria in terms of our health, but what do we really know about those microscopic bugs living in our insides? You can barely find a healthcare product these days that doesn’t display its antibacterial properties and there’s no denying that in terms of certain bacteria, this is preferable to a product without. But how harmful is bacteria really, and do we actually need it to stay healthy? Studies suggest we have around three to five pounds worth of microbes living in our bodies, which in the past would have been a cause for concern given the belief that the absence of microbes was preferable for good health. These days, however, we’re learning that bacteria isn’t just a source of disease but also of good health.

Researchers believe that the average person plays host to more than 10,000 species of organisms at any one time, including bacteria, viruses and fungi. These are known collectively as your microbiome. Everyone’s microbiome is unique to them, a product of their genes, diet, lifestyle and the environment in which they live. But it’s possible to have similar microbiomes with people who share your physical and neurological traits. For example, obese people have different microbiomes to lean people; kids with autism have different types of bacteria to those without; people with skin conditions such as eczema will have different organisms living on their skin to people who don’t. The more people scientists map the microbiomes of, the better equipped they’ll be in matching up connections between bacterias and health conditions. This could be hugely beneficial when it comes to serious conditions such as obesity or cancer, but researchers are very much in the early stages of this type of study and much more in-depth research needs to take place before conclusive evidence can be found.

 

We’ve known for a long time that if you upset your natural balance of bacteria, it will make you sick. But new research shows that colon cancer, which is responsible for killing around 50,000 people each year, could be another more serious outcome. People with colorectal cancers have high levels of E.coli bacteria, which is renowned for being a fecal germ guilty of causing food poisoning. Scientists are still looking into what type of role this bacteria is playing in the development of cancer, but increased levels of the bacteria certainly spell trouble. There is hope that by monitoring the bacteria levels in a person who is at risk of the disease, doctors will be able to catch such a condition in the very early stages and increase the chance of survival.

 

This could also be the case with the fight against obesity. Researchers believe that certain drugs can alter the mix of bacteria which can lead to a higher concentration of bugs that extract calories from food. Scientists are still looking into the perfect balance of bacteria for optimal health, but one condition has been incredibly responsive to microbiome intervention. People plagued by a bacterial infection which causes potentially life-threatening diarrhoea could be saved by a faecal transplant – taking the faeces of a healthy person and introducing them to the gut of a sick person. It currently has a 94 per cent success rate, and while it doesn’t sound pleasant  as a cure, there results show why the human microbiome is a ground-breaking element of modern medicine and one which could offer incredible results in terms of our health.

Categories: Bacteria, Early Stages, Environmental Wellness, health, microbiome, new study, people, person

Five Of The Best Foods To Eat To Keep Your Teeth Healthy

Today, most people understand how important healthy teeth and gums are. Fortunately, these people most likely visit their dentist twice per year for exams and general cleanings. They may even opt for cosmetic dentistry services to improve the overall look of their smiles, as well. However, most people are not familiar with dietary supplements and delicious foods that can actually benefit their teeth.

 

Water

Most people generally know about the benefits of body for their body. However, they are most likely not familiar with how water can benefit their teeth. There are many foods and drinks that are very unhealthy for a person’s body that will also damage the look and function of their teeth. These foods may be any item with excessive amounts of sugar or foods that are very acidic. While it may be impossible for individuals to remove these foods from their lifestyles, drinking the recommended amount of water each day can help remove sugar and acidic elements off of the surface of the teeth. Water is truly beneficial because it rinses the tooth enamel clean.

 

Calcium-Rich Foods

Foods that are rich in calcium can greatly benefit the look and strength of the teeth. Milk, cheese, and yogurt are all excellent sources of calcium that will help the teeth in great ways. By protecting the tooth enamel and incorporating the necessary calcium and phosphorus, an individual’s teeth will be strong, durable, and appealing.

 

Nuts

Nuts are considered a superfood because of the benefits they have for a person’s diet. However, most people are surprised how nuts can improve a person’s teeth. When eaten in moderation, cashews and peanuts can increase saliva and incorporate additional vitamins and minerals into the patient’s diet. These can include magnesium, folic acid, iron, potassium, zinc, vitamin E, vitamin B6.

 

Whole Grains

In recent studies, reports have been made that have shown a decrease in cases of periodontal disorder or periodontitis for people who consume the proper amount of whole grains. Whole grains can be found in a variety of fiber rich foods including pasta, breads, and oats. Not only are they delicious but the whole grains can limit the amount of acidic activity in the mouth which will directly improve a person’s teeth and help them remain healthy.

 

Apples

There is an old saying that an apple a day helps keep the doctor away but this is also evident in dental care. Any family dentist in Montpelier VT understands how beneficial apples are for the teeth and body. Apples will directly increase the production of saliva which will, in turn, decrease the possibility of cavities. Plus, this popular fruit is rich in vitamins and minerals to help a person’s diet and increase the look and function of the teeth.

 

While the underlying health of the person’s teeth is most important, a dentist can help patients choose healthier options for their diet. The foods above will not only help their physical health and well being but also the strength, look, and feel of their teeth while eating, drinking, and chewing.

Categories: best, Eat, foods, Healthy, nbsp, people, person, rich foods, teeth, teeth nbsp, tooth enamel

What Makes Sex Sizzle, and What Makes It Fizzle?

Sexual health and wellness is a confusing thing, especially as you don’t tend to own up to your likes and dislikes in the bedroom department. But what makes sex sizzle, and what makes it fizzle? And, is sex better or worse once you tie the knot? We got some singletons and marriedtons to dish the dirt on what lifts and lessens their sexual wellbeing.

 

1. Gina, 34, Single: When it comes to sizzling sex, Gina recalls, ‘The best sexual experiences for me have always been with men I have established an emotional connection with. After that, spontaneity is a real turn-on – don’t pencil me into your Palm Pilot! Planned sex is a real turn-off for me. After that, there are a number of things that can point the sex-meter closer to fizzling than sizzling – it could be an argument, physical exhaustion, stress or just one of those days when I’m feeling not-so-sexy.’

 

2. Randy, 46, Single: ‘Passion – the burning desire to be with someone,’ is what does it for Randy. ‘Part of it is feeling really attracted to the person – the physical characteristics – and part is communication. Without the physical attraction, the chemistry isn’t there. Conflict and resentment are turn-offs, too.’

 

3. Jason, 33, Single: ‘The best is what I call “aerobic sex,” when you’re fully out of breath, completely spent and you know – or at least you believe! – that you’re making the other person feel amazing,’ Jason asserts. ‘That’s when I can relax and give in to it completely.’ When it comes to turn-offs, Jason dislikes ‘a person who can’t kiss past a pucker. And continued bashfulness – I don’t care how fit you are, you have to shake what you have and feel sexy, or it’s a total turn-off.’

 

4. Gisela, 43, Single: ‘A mutual understanding of what a partner wants, both in and out of bed, is so sexy,’ says Gisela. ‘An honest, sincere, straightforward person who has experience. And I like men and women – I want a man who will be okay with that. You’d think that would be easy to find, but it’s not!’ Gisela adds, ‘It fizzles if it’s just for sex and not for the pleasure of both people. Bragging, like kids, is a total turn-off.’

 

5. Bill, 83, Married: ‘A very attractive wife like my Win,’ does it for Bill. ‘We have similar interests – we love to dance and travel – and that kind of connection can translate into great lovemaking. We’re very close in all respects, physically and emotionally, even more so after 53 years of being together.’ He notes, ‘As a result of prostate cancer you can become impotent and can’t get an erection. But we’ve still got it – I’m a lover, a hugger, a kisser – though it’s not like before.’

 

6. Dori, 25, Married: For Dori, self-confidence leads to sizzling sex. ‘Confidence is sexy no matter what,’ she points out. ‘Lack of inhibitions, aggressiveness, taking initiative.’ And what dampens your confidence in the bedroom? ‘Roommates,’ says Dori. ‘My husband and I have them now – that’s why we’re buying a house!’

 

7. Sam, 53, Married: ‘It takes two to tango,’ Sam comments. ‘It takes two good companions, with a good relationship outside of the bed. At 53, you might like a 26-year-old hard-body who can do everything, but that’s a selfish point of view. It might sizzle for you, but it won’t for her. If there’s poor compatibility mentally, it might be good that one time, but that’s it. It’s bad if you’re doing it for the wrong reason, just to do it instead of to enhance your relationship.’

Categories: Bad Sex, better sex, case studies, nbsp, person, real turn, sex sizzle, sexy, sizzling sex, total turn, turn, turn-offs

How to Best Deal With a Crisis and the Aftermath

When a crisis occurs, how prepared are you? Are you someone who can leap to attention easily and take charge, or do you panic and struggle to forge a coherent plan? Crisis’ can occur at any time, so knowing what you’re doing in that situation could be the difference between life and death. Stress can affect you deeply in a situation such as someone you care for having a heart attack, or someone choking, which can impact your efficiency in that scenario. The better prepared you are, the better you’ll be able to cope and help those in need. You may be the only person around to help, which means that you need to be completely in control. In particular, if your parents are elderly and you’re the only person available to look after them, they may need you to be quick to act in a stressful situation. Then there is what needs to be done after a situation has arisen – to what extent are you prepared for the aftermath of a crisis?

 

If someone you care for is taken to hospital, there are numerous things you’ll need to think about. For starters, there is the issue of managing work around visiting schedules – if you can’t get child care, you may need to take a few days leave from work. If your job allows it, you may be able to work from your laptop within the hospital if the staff there give you permission. Be sure to engage your entire family though, as this will help you build a support network and will take some of the stress off you. Your partner can take turns with you at the hospital or look after the children so that you can arrange more visits. Make sure that you check what the hospital is serving at meal times, so that you can monitor if there are any mistakes with dietary requirements, if need be.

At home, the care-taking duties will need to be split equally – an ill elderly person will require full-time care. The best way to ensure this is done fairly is to sit down as a family and draw up a schedule which fairly shares out the duties so that no one person is left doing all of the work, but the elderly person in question doesn’t lack attentive care. If this isn’t an option, you can hire a full or part time nurse to help you if you’re at work throughout the day. Medicines are also probably going to be an issue, as elderly people who can no longer look after themselves will struggle to remember to take any required pills. If they take care of their own medication, be sure to keep a glass of water and the tablets by their bedside so that they are to hand. If not, then you may wish to use a beeper system to remind you when each tablet needs to be taken. If the person in question struggles with incontinence, try to set them up in a room with a toilet attached or close to the toilet where possible. This will make it easier for them when they need to use the bathroom. Lastly, ensure that they have plenty of emotional support – this is a stressful time for both of you so you need to be there for each other. Take time to talk to one another, not just about the struggles of the day but just about your lives in general to take some of the stress out of the situation.

Categories: care, Crisis, elderly person, Family Wellness, person, situation, Stress, time, work

Holiday Hook-Ups: How to Keep Your Sexual Sanity Intact

Although Christmas is portrayed as this lovely time full of family and cheer, the Holidays can really take their toll on your mental and emotional wellness. Because every movie, song and advert you come across paints Christmas as this idyllic, nostalgic time, you can feel pressured to live up to this idealised scenario. And, as most of us inevitably fail to achieve this, your wellbeing becomes affected by feelings of guilt, shame, anxiety, remorse, and even outright depression. Then, you load up on bad-for-you pick-me-ups like food and cocktails and Robert Weiss, Founding Director of The Sexual Recovery Institute, points out that you may risk your sexual health for the same reason.

 

According to Weiss, ‘For a wide variety of reasons, many people have a tendency to make bad sexual choices around the holidays. Office holiday parties are notorious for mismatched couples sneaking off to the copy room for a quickie…And New Year’s Eve is probably the biggest night of the year for regrettable sexual encounters. In fact, I’m pretty certain Baby New Year is the patron saint of one-night stands. Unfortunately, these liaisons are hardly without consequence. Office party hook-ups mean you have to face the other person at work the following Monday, and every workday thereafter…Plus, these ill-advised, heat of the moment hook-ups oftentimes put people at risk for catching and/or transmitting HIV or another STD.’ With that in mind, we have a few sexual sanity guidelines to help you survive the holidays, unscathed:

 

1. Watch your alcohol intake: There are so many events during the holidays that you may as well spend the entirety of December well and truly hammered. However, Weiss warns, ‘Don’t get drunk at the office party (or any other social event). Alcohol is disinhibiting, and over-imbibing greatly increases your risk for making a bad sexual decision.’

 

2. Don’t get nostalgic: If you’re going home for the holidays, you’re bound to bump into an old flame and wonder about reigniting that spark. Weiss advises, ‘Don’t seek out ex-lovers, ex-spouses, or old hook-up partners during the holiday season. These people are in your past for a reason! There is no need to resurrect a bad relationship.’

 

3. Find better ways of coping: If you’re single, Christmas can be a particularly hard time. You’re surrounded by families and couples showing how much they love each other, and this can make things feel pretty lonely. Nonetheless, Weiss instructs, ‘Do not have sex just because you’re lonely or otherwise feeling bad about yourself. Grab a cookie instead, or better yet talk about your feelings with a friend, a loved one, or your therapist.’

 

4. Be honest: If you do decide to have sex with someone, make sure you’re honest about what you want from that person. Say if you just want something casual or if you’re looking for something more. Weiss notes, ‘If you’re dishonest about what you’re seeking you’re much more likely to hurt either yourself or the other person.’

 

5. Be safe: This doesn’t just mean using condoms with new sexual partners – although this is an absolute MUST – but Weiss comments, ‘If you’re meeting a stranger for a sexual encounter, make sure at least one friend or family member knows exactly where you are going, how to reach you, and when you expect to be back. Arrange to check in with that person both before and after your date.’

 

6. Trust your instincts: The Holiday blues can cloud your judgement, but you need to stay in tune with your instincts, whether you’re hooking-up with an old partner or meeting someone new. Weiss explains, ‘It doesn’t matter how good looking the other person is, if something feels “off” to you, then something is wrong and you need to get out immediately. Not everyone is as nice or harmless as they appear online or at first glance in-person. If you get into a sex date and start to feel uncomfortable, it is perfectly OK to leave.’

Categories: Christmas, holidays, hook ups, nbsp, nostalgia, office party, person, safe sex, sexual, sexual sanity, weiss

What Do You Do When Your Partner Wants a Divorce?

When your spouse tells you they want a divorce, can anything more damaging to your emotional health? Not only do you have to cope with the fact that the person you thought you’d spend your life with no longer feels the same; you also have a long stretch of difficult situations ahead of you. Therefore, it’s vital that you start actively protecting your wellbeing from the very beginning.

 

If you didn’t expect your partner to want a divorce, processing the information can put a strain on your wellness, especially as life doesn’t stop for you. You still have a job to go to every day as well as kids to look after. Plus, if your spouse is yet to move out you have to negotiate living with this person who you’re married to, but not married to for much longer. You must also realise that your spouse hasn’t just done this on a whim; he or she has been thinking about divorce for a while, and so has probably thought about what happens next. This means you have to get proactive:

 

1. Gather your support: Choose someone who will be able to go with you to the lawyer’s office, at least in the beginning. This friend or loved one can act as the sensible side of you until you attain better mental and emotional control. This person needs to act in your best interests, both from a place of love and logic. Normally this is a friend, rather than a family member, as they care about you but aren’t as emotionally tied as a parent or sibling. Next, pick out your secondary support system. This will most likely be immediate family, and closest friends.

 

2. Get the right mentality: If you ended things on good terms, then you need an amicable attitude, and most likely have one already. However, if your split was unexpected or there was abuse or infidelity involved, chances are you’ll have a battle on your hands, and you need to take on the mentality of a fighter. The way you handle things can have a big affect on the quality of your life afterwards.

 

3. Choose a lawyer: Again, if this is an amicable divorce with no children involved, you may be able to just use a mediator. If not, you need a good lawyer – and not your spouses’. Though your ex might tell you that using the same lawyer will save money, things will be easier, etc. your spouses’ lawyer most definitely will not be looking out for your best interests. You need a lawyer with whom you are comfortable. It might be helpful to take your main support person with you when you meet your lawyer, as this will help you determine if it’s a good fit. Also, your lawyer is not there to provide emotional support and will charge you for their time, so go in with a list of precise questions and leave the hand-holding to your support friend.

 

4. Sort out your finances: It’s very easy to make financial mistakes at this time, especially if you shared bank accounts or never had to worry about money before. Often in marriages one partner makes more money or takes care of accounts, budgeting etc. and if that partner wasn’t you then you have a lot to catch up on. Again, your initial support person can help you here, as they can prevent you making emotional purchases you cannot afford, as well as helping you wade through financial jargon, taxes, budgets and bills.

Categories: divorce, lawyer, Lawyers, nbsp, person, social support, Support, support person

Does Infidelity Have to Spell the End of Your Marriage?

Infidelity can ruin the trust in a relationship and cause intense emotional pain, but it doesn’t have to spell the end of your marriage. There are few problems in a relationship that cause quite the same level of heartache and upset as infidelity – the person that you’ve built your life with has betrayed you, and that is difficult to cope with. It undermines the very foundation of marriage. But how do you rebuild the relationship after this trust has been lost? There are ways to maintain your relationship and get past this indiscretion, if both of you are committed to doing so. With time and a mutual goal of holding onto your relationship, you can begin to forge a stronger and more intimate relationship. Infidelity isn’t a clear situation – what is considered to be cheating varies from person to person, and couple to couple. Is an emotional connection, for example, with someone else as bad as a physical one? Is it worse? Affairs are usually just about the fantasy – the person who is being cheated with is usually seen as an escape from the problems within the relationship, and is idealised as a result.

 

There are a number of reasons why people cheat, many of which aren’t actually to do with sex. Some stem from individual issues, such as sexual addiction, alcoholism or low self esteem. Others stem from problems that have been present for some time in the relationship and never dealt with, so they grow until a member of the marriage feels trapped and unable to fix them. Usually, the person who is having the affair is experiencing sexual attraction to someone else and decides to act on it rather than suppress the urge. They keep the affair going through lies and deception, and confide in someone other than their partner about their problem. They may develop an unrealistic view of the person and refuse to listen to advice to the contrary. They may also develop a strong emotional attraction to another person, highlighting problems within the marriage and making the person outside of the relationship seem idealised.

The discovery of an affair often triggers powerful emotions in both partners – these include shock, guilt, remorse, shame, anger and betrayal. During this time, it’s important not to make any rash decisions that you may later regret – if you think you may physically hurt yourself or someone else, speak to someone for some advice. This is time where you’ll both benefit from some space and time to think things over and decide what you want to do. Seek support from your friends, family or a professional who can offer objective support and advice. Remember, you don’t need to make any choices straight away – time can be a great healer, so don’t rush anything. If you decide that you do want to rebuild your marriage, you should seek the advice and help of a marriage counsellor who will be able to work through your issues with you. Be accountable for your actions – if you cheated, own up and accept responsibility. If you didn’t, but are aware of your part to play in the pitfalls in your relationship, look to where you can work on the issues and make the effort. Lastly, don’t hold grudges – if you’ve made the choice to stay and work things out, then you need to put your effort into building the trust again. Holding grudges and bringing up history in every argument will only keep the infidelity present and raw.

Categories: infidelity, Marriage, person, relationship, time, trust

Five Easy Steps for Achieving a Picture Perfect Smile

When trying to look one’s best, it is easier to do so when having a nice smile. Sadly, many have a poor smile because they do not take time to keep their teeth clean. With that being said, here are five tips to achieve a picture perfect smile.

 

Teeth whitening

A person with perfect teeth will still develop stains over time. To fix this, a patient should get a Teeth Whitening in Austin as it can bring back the natural color to a patient’s teeth. Now, people fear going to the dentist, but this is different and not uncomfortable. When sitting in the chair, one will see a quick transition to their new white teeth, all while avoiding pain.

Floss

When a person flosses their teeth often, they will remove any huge food particles from between their teeth. This will help a person keep their teeth looking great. Furthermore, when removing old particles, one will not face the embarrassing problem of any leftover food stuck in their teeth. Remember, when flossing twice a day, one can improve their appearance drastically.

 

Retainer or braces

When getting teeth straightened, one can improve their smile considerably. Now, a lot of young people had braces as a kid, but neglect to wear their retainer. This is a mistake as it will help the person keep their teeth in place for decades to come. A person who never had braces can consider getting them as it will leave the teeth in the perfect place. Either way, with a straight smile, one can look their best and impress others.

 

Regular cleanings

With dental cleanings, one can get rid of old stains and get a fresh look. Ideally, a person should visit their dentist every six months as they can clean and polish their teeth. Without a doubt, this also helps a person avoid cavities and other long-term problems associated with the teeth and gums.

 

Diet

To have nice teeth, a person should avoid red wine and other liquids that leave stains. While this may seem like overkill, it is an excellent way to avoid problems in the first place. Another thing a person should avoid is smoking as it will lead to discoloration issues quickly. With a healthy diet and avoidance of certain foods and liquids, one can have a great set of teeth that impress everyone around them.

 

With these five tips, an individual can have a perfect smile and make a lasting impression on others.

Categories: floss, nbsp, perfect, perfect smile, person, picture perfect, Smile, teeth, teeth whitening

Could Your Vocabulary Affect Your First Impressions?

They say you never have a second chance at a first impression, which means your corporate wellness is often riding on you getting it right the first time. Whether you’re trying to land a job or seal a deal, what the other person sees in you in the first few minutes could make the difference between triumph, and completely blotching it up on the first meeting. Still, is there ever a way to claw your way back to a good opinion, or is your first impression set in stone?

 

Your brain has a speedy ability to judge another person’s character but research shows that this isn’t always accurate. While you can judge a person based on a photograph – even seeing it for just one-tenth of a second – and be accurate most of the time, the problem is that some of the time you get it wrong. You apply labels to a person – such as doctor, Christian, environmentalist etc. – in order to make your mind’s job easier. However, you control how much importance you attach to those labels, and how much effort you put it to look beneath a person’s race, religion, occupation or other initial labels. It’s hard not to judge people by first impressions, but you can take control through communication.

 

According to Marshall Rosenberg, author of Non-violent Communication, “Instead of being habitual, automatic reactions, our words [can] become conscious responses based firmly on an awareness of what we are perceiving, feeling, and wanting.” This non-violent communication process is based in separating observation from evaluation, rather than mixing up the two. Instead of saying “Tim is lazy,” you can re-frame the communication and safely point out the facts: “Tim hasn’t worked in four years despite having been offered jobs on three different occasions.” That way, you don’t let your emotions hijack the communication, but instead observe the facts without judging. The same goes for you thoughts, as this is just internal communication – how you think about a person affects what comes out of your mouth.

 

But how do you change the way people perceive you on first impressions? The language you use to describe yourself makes a big impact on how other people see you, but subtle changes can make all the difference. The key thing to remember is to set “who you are” apart from “what you do”. When you meet someone new, the first thing they tend to ask is “what do you do?”. However, while it’s natural to use language that indicates your identity (“I’m a doctor”) a better response would be to use action vocabulary (“I practise medicine”). That way, the other person has been presented with a simple fact, rather than a title on which they can form a judgement of your social standing. Similarly, saying “I’m from India” rather than “I’m Indian” helps to distinguish between geography and citizenship – the latter being a prime cause of nationalistic pride and racism.

 

It really comes down to stripping out the judgements that come from associating yourself with an identity. This process involves eliminating unhelpful words from your vocabulary, such as lazy, mean, cheap and crazy. These labels have no purpose when you substitute facts to describe a person’s actions. It’s not easy to change your vocabulary, but better communication can have a huge impact on your corporate wellbeing, and other aspects of your daily life. Mindful communication helps you to connect to others on a higher field, forming opinions in a place of thoughtful action rather than reaction. In the very first moments of meeting someone new, be present with that person, and relate through your similarities rather than separating yourself through judgements.

Categories: Communication, First Impressions, Judgement, nbsp, people, person, violent communication, vocabulary

Listen, Respond, Think and Carry On: Dealing with Criticism

Criticism is a natural part of a workplace environment. After all, how will your corporate wellness improve if you don’t know what’s wrong with it in the first place? Still, hearing negative feedback can take its toll on your sense of wellbeing, so here are four tips to help get you through it.

 

1. Listen closely. Is the criticism you’re receiving constructive? Is there any merit in it? Let’s say your partner tells you he’d like a bit more space; that can be hard to hear initially, but could eventually improve your relationship wellness. Therefore, if your boss mentions something, your mindset should be geared towards learning and adapting, rather than jumping into defence mode.

 

2. Respond calmly. Whether the criticism is helpful or just plain rude, your response should always be respectful (it may help to take a deep breath first!). Thank the person if the feedback is useful and constructive, and if it isn’t, simply smile and – as my mother would say – kill ‘em with kindness. If it hurts when someone criticises you, it’s even worse when it’s not true, but this doesn’t mean you should let it make you a smaller person. Be better than that, and prove them wrong.

 

3. Be objective. When someone criticises your work or a behaviour trait, you can end up feeling criticised as a whole person. Just because you got a D on your maths GCSE, it didn’t take away anything from your A* in English Literature. Instead, it meant that you needed to focus more on that subject or accept the fact that algebra just wasn’t for you. So, when a colleague or your boss mentions something you could improve, try to remove yourself from the situation and zero in on what’s being critiqued.

 

4. Keep going. Criticism can knock you on your backside, but you still have to get back on that horse. At the end of the day, no one knows you better than you and if you really disagree with a criticism; don’t let it get to you. Remember, it’s just one person’s point of view, and it shouldn’t stop you from realising your strengths, or working towards your goals.

Categories: boss mentions, Calm Response, Criticism, improve, listen, nbsp, person

How to Help Your Children Cope With Divorce

Whether you’ve experienced divorce yourself or have watched a loved one deal with it, you’ll know that divorce is an emotional time which can be difficult to cope with. More often than not, it hits children the hardest, as they’re watching the two people they love the most become angry and upset. Emotions run high during this time, with grief, sadness and the upheaval of your family life, so it can be difficult to know where to begin when it comes to making it easier on the younger members of the family. Here are some ways in which you can help to reduce the stress and help them, and yourself, through the emotional rollercoaster.

Firstly, it’s important not to play the blame game - no one person is to blame more than the other. If you’re going through a divorce, the blame is irrelevant, so placing it on one person will simply add to the anger and stress. It’s easy to lose perspective during this time, as your emotions are heightened and you’re trying to navigate this new stage of your life – but bear in mind that your children are also struggling with this.

When it comes to the custody battle, your children’s welfare is paramount – so, when you’re trying to work around schedules, remember that this comes first. Ask yourself whether or not you’re getting angry at your ex over the situation itself, or are you angry that the arrangement isn’t best for your child? The latter should always be your first port of call. As before, try not to put your ex down in front of your children, as this only adds to their discomfort and leads to them feeling unable to discuss their emotions in front of either parent.

It may sound obvious, but co-parenting is very different when you both live in different households. Suddenly, you’re battling with your ex over what your child is eating or watching when they’re in their care. Unless it puts them in danger, you need to accept that you can’t control how they decide to raise them when they have care of them. Lastly, remember to keep an open mind when it comes to new relationships. Most divorced parents will embark on a new relationship at some point, which can be difficult for children to deal with. Be respectful to your ex by letting them know if you’re re-entering the dating game, as chances are they will want to meet this new person in their child’s life, and vice versa.

How to Help Your Children Cope With Divorce

Categories: Children, children's wellness, difficult, divorce, Emotional Wellness, emotions, person